September 6, 2016

"I just didn’t have another sex position in me."

Says the editor of Cosmopolitan, sniffing at the product she's used as leverage to a better (I don't want to say) position.
Cosmopolitan under [Joanna] Coles has not lost its sizzle, and its pages are filled with the relationship advice and sex tips that have made it a popular guide for young women for decades. But it has also taken on heavier subjects, including women’s health and politics...

Though she was tight-lipped on her plans, she said she had two projects she has been working on with other Hearst brands....
What does Cosmopolitan look like these days? Sex, health... politics... isn't that what women's magazines have been for the last nearly half century? I'm speaking from experience, because before I went to law school, back in my painterly period, my day job was reading magazines — reading them, coding them, for a marketing research firm. I read all the women's magazines — and plenty of other magazines — for something like 2 years. Cosmopolitan in the 70s. I remember it so well. That was back when every cover screamed "sex!" but the word "sex" never appeared on the cover.

I go to the Cosmopolitan website now, and the very first thing I see is a picture of Donald Trump.



I have to read through 2 Trump things before I get to "Sex Poses" — but "Sex Poses" are not sex positions, just the beginning of "Sex Poses Different Risks for Men and Women as they Age." Or maybe my computer — I'm on my old computer — isn't displaying that correctly. I think the "Donald Trump Is Right to Go After Hillary Clinton" was supposed to be up there in that empty top left corner, and not on that man and lady in bed together. It is funnier in the botched up way.

Clicking through, I see that "Donald Trump Is Right to Go After Hillary Clinton" is written by the familiar feminist writer Jill Filipovic. She says:
This election has set a know-nothing blowhard eager for attention against a seasoned, savvy, and somewhat cynical politician who is simply not being pressed on anything substantive.... Disturbingly, what some people appear to want is spectacle of anti-intellectualism and impotent rage.... When we lose the emphasis on ideas and devolve into a contest driven by ever-more-outrageous insults, grandiosity bordering on delusion, and a dogged commitment to going lower and lower still, it's not politics. It's poli-tainment. And it's not Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton who will lose. It's all of us.
I agree with some of that, but it still gets my tag "civility bullshit" (which signifies my belief that calls for civility are always bullshit (because people only want to get their opponents to tone it down)).

And now I'm distracted by the "Most Popular" list in the sidebar: "13 Things That Make Guys Irrationally Horny," "10 Things Guys Actually Want In A Wife," and "What Blow Jobs Really Feel Like According To 12 Guys." Cosmo readers seem to like numbers — 13, 10, 12 — would it kill you to give me an 11? Oh, here, I found one: "11 things your boobs could be trying to tell you." And: "11 things you never knew about your boobs/Your breasts can have orgasms, people." Apparently, 11 is the boobs number at Cosmo.

Anyway, sail on Ms. Coles. You've done your time in the lady trenches.

45 comments:

Quaestor said...

Or maybe my computer — I'm on my old computer — isn't displaying that correctly.

What version of OS X is your old computer running?

rehajm said...

6 Ways To Stop Numbering Things

Ann Althouse said...

10.5.8

And I'm told the software is up to date.

But it's not the system, it's the browser, Safari. It does display properly in Firefox.

My office computer is about 8 years old.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

"lady trenches?" Yikes.

Double yikes, actually--the last few times we've had actual trench warfare, for any extended time, there weren't too many ladies in 'em. But yeah--the "war" of feminism is roughly equivalent to actual war, fought in trenches. Pretty close, pretty close.

rhhardin said...

Anyway, sail on Ms. Coles. You've done your time in the lady trenches.

The sun doth shine,
The world is mine,
My bones are full of marrow;
O for a wench
That has a trench
Where I may push my barrow!

- A. D. Hope, Australian poet

HoodlumDoodlum said...

6 Reasons You Always Fall For Clickbait

Numbers are useful. Their precision is a promise to be fulfilled. A low number suggests simplicity and information that’s easy to absorb. A high number suggests authority and definitive coverage. It’s better to keep numbers lowish. 50 facts get tiring, especially when scrolling on a mobile.

Cracked: Why We Title Things The Way We Do

Poor Cracked...they used to have some interesting stuff from time to time, but it's almost wall-to-wall smarmy Leftism now. Sad.

Quaestor said...

Leopard is pretty senile. You can't do much more with OS X on that system, especially if its a PowerPC.

You should look into running a modern Linux distro on your Mac (I assume it's an iMac). It can really rejuvenate an old machine.

Quaestor said...

Click on the Apple logo and choose "About this Mac". Look at the processor info. If its a PowerPC you're pretty much SOL as far as a OS upgrade is concerned. If its an Intel box there are lots of cool options to choose from.

YoungHegelian said...

@Quaestor,

You should look into running a modern Linux distro on your Mac (I assume it's an iMac). It can really rejuvenate an old machine.

True dat, but the changes in the user interface would drive her apeshit.

Those of us who are geeks by profession & who must learn perforce to deal with all sorts of interfaces on a daily basis underestimate how much these issues aggravate the non-geeks among us.

Quaestor said...

Elementary OS is very Mac-like. Ann should try the live DVD.

Paul Snively said...

Dr. Althouse: 10.5.8... And I'm told the software is up to date.

By whom? The current version of Mac OS X is 10.11.6.

Incidentally, run, do not walk, away from anyone suggesting running Linux on the desktop.

MaxedOutMama said...

I've never seen or heard a vagina called a "lady trench" before, but it does make etymological sense.

Laslo Spatula said...

Socially Awkward Guy Who Makes No Eye Contact says:

I'm not really too concerned about various sexual positions. It's all good, as long as I am behind her and she can't see my face. When I make eye contact with a woman during sex I lose my erection.

And please: No Talking. When women talk during sex I lose my erection.

I also lose my erection if her cell-phone rings. Or my phone rings. Loud commercials on television can also make me lose my erection, especially if the commercials are for items for bodily functions. Especially feminine bodily functions.

Also: dog barking.

I have always wanted to slap a woman's ass as I had sex with her -- from behind, of course -- but never have had the nerve to do it. I would probably lose my erection there, too.

Women laugh at me, I know it.

Peeing on them just seems so much easier.

Like no one else thinks these things.

I hope the Girl with the Blue Hair is working at McDonalds today.


I am Laslo.

YoungHegelian said...

But, back on subject, the problem with Lefties is that, since they have no religion most of the time, their politics become their idea of Virtue, Since, of course, they, in their minds, work from nothing other than reason & common sense, they just don't understand why the rest of us feel put upon by their incessant attempts to end injustice & make us all better people. Thus, they have no qualms about making over everything they touch, even a women's magazine mostly about sex, into an instrument to preach their Gospel.

Imagine a southern Baptist preacher who has no idea that the sermonizing stops at the church door & you've captured the ethos.

Quaestor said...

Incidentally, run, do not walk, away from anyone suggesting running Linux on the desktop.

You evidently haven't been keep abreast of the times. Some distros are servers first and foremost, RedHat in particular, but many are strictly desktop systems, especially Ubuntu and its various forks.

coupe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ann Althouse said...

It's been a trusty computer for a long time, and I'm about to dismantle my office after this semester. I mostly use my computers at home.

Model Name: iMac
Model Identifier: iMac7,1
Processor Name: Intel Core 2 Duo
Processor Speed: 2.8 GHz
Number Of Processors: 1
Total Number Of Cores: 2

coupe said...

All browsers suck. Especially chrome.

I think the whole Web thing is a fad, and I keep my VT100 terminal handy for when it all ends.

E Hines said...

a dogged commitment to going lower and lower still

Well, Cosmo has always been in favor of going down.

Yes. I went there.

Eric Hines

traditionalguy said...

Where have Trump's evermore outrageous insults gone? Gone to death with a fabulous NYC lady Joan Rivers, every one.

Trump just smiles a lot now. I blame KellyAnne Conway.

buwaya said...

"I think the whole Web thing is a fad, and I keep my VT100 terminal handy for when it all ends."

I have my ancient favorite HP Technical Workstation - in the garage
http://www.hpmuseum.net/display_item.php?hw=7

Darrell said...

The British call them gussets.

Ann Althouse said...

"Dr. Althouse: 10.5.8... And I'm told the software is up to date. By whom? The current version of Mac OS X is 10.11.6."

By the computer itself.

I know that just means it's not updateable.

Quaestor said...

Ann, your machine is a good candidate for Linux. Snively's a cool dude, but in this one instance he's got his head... well, you know where.

In a university town like Madison there are dozens if not hundreds of level-headed geekazoids like yours truly who can help. All you need is an Elementary OS bootable DVD which is dead simple to create, and any geek can do it blindfolded. Then you

1) insert the DVD

2) shutdown the iMac

3) reboot with the C key held down

This will boot the DVD. Choose "Live" and Elementary will run the computer from the DVD without making any alteration to your system. This will allow you to explore and evaluate the OS harmlessly. Elementary OS is a Linux distro, which means it's UNIX-like under the skin, but it has a Mac-like user interface. OS X is UNIX under the skin with a friendly user interface, so the concept is familiar. If you want to try this wait until the weekend. The latest Elementary OS version is being released in 50 hours, so you might as well try wait a few and try that one. The developers want you to donate to get the download, but you can donate $0.00 and get it free.

Check these out:

Elementray OS homepage

Video review of Elementary running on a Mac

Mattman26 said...

She was "tight-lipped," eh?

damikesc said...

"13 things that make guys irrationally horny"?

What woman has 13 tits?

Or is it a group of 7 women, where one has only one boob?

Or a group of 6 women, where one has 3?

Quaestor said...

"irrationally horny"

There's some fishy about Cosmo.

coupe said...

"irrationally horny"

I took that as a put-down. Men are never "irrationally horny".

"irrationally horny" is the new Black Lives Matter - Horny Men Matter

coupe said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
walter said...

Sex, health... politics... isn't that what women's magazines have been for the last nearly half century?
--
Cake! Cookie, cake..and diets, side by side. Big ass/cake.

richard mcenroe said...

"Somewehat" cynical? And Lucrezia Borgia was "somewhat" sloppy in the kitchen...

Quaestor said...

And Lucrezia Borgia was "somewhat" sloppy in the kitchen...

Hold it right there, Richard McEnroe... As a charter member of the Amalgamated League of Borgia De-Mythologizers, ALBDM ("Albuhdum") for short, I must point out there's no evidence Lucrezia Borgia ever poisoned anyone deliberately.

But stay away from her scungilli in any case.

Paul Snively said...

Dr. Althouse: By the computer itself.

I know that just means it's not updateable.


That's surprising, given that it's an Intel machine. Let's see here... Ah, OK. The issue seems to be that you need to do an offline upgrade to at least Snow Leopard (10.6.8), from where you should be able to automatically upgrade to whatever you want. Release from Mavericks on have been free. This is per this Apple discussion thread. You can buy Snow Leopard retail from Apple.

Quaestor: Ann, your machine is a good candidate for Linux. Snively's a cool dude, but in this one instance he's got his head... well, you know where.

Thanks, I think? :-)

Don't get me wrong; I love Linux as much as the next geek. But "some distros are Mac-like" and "In a university town like Madison there are dozens if not hundreds of level-headed geekazoids like yours truly who can help" as a substitute for real support either online or from a nearby Apple store is... well, let's just say "fanciful" and leave it at that. And that's without discussing the realities around replacing apps, interfacing with printers or other third-party hardware, etc.

Quaestor said...

... as a substitute for real support either online or from a nearby Apple store is... well, let's just say "fanciful" and leave it at that.

As a IT professional I take that as an intended insult, Snively.

1) There's little or help at all for an iMac as elderly as Ann's at a "nearby Apple store" because most of the "geniuses" have never seen one.

2) Replacing apps is dead simple. Many distros come with enough per-installed apps that the only many users don't need any addition software. Elementary OS needs only LibreOffice to make it a full-featured workstation, and that takes a few mouse clicks and 10 minutes tops.

3) You may "love" Linux, but evidently not enough to keep up. Entire governments have dumped Windows in favor of Linux desktops.

4) OS X and Linux both use CUPS for printing.

Quaestor said...

Regarding OS X 10.6 "Snow Leopard"

Ann's iMac is a 32-bit machine, Snow Leopard runs, but is problematic on 32-bit architecture. Also there's the issue of RAM; iMacs of that vintage came with 1GB of installed memory. That's enough (barely) for 10.6. However one could swap the two 512MB modules for two 1GB DRAMs, but that may be a case of throwing good money after bad.

I advise against buying Snow Leopard because in the end Ann will have traded a senile OS for a marginally less senile OS.

buwaya said...

Buy a new computer with Windows 10.
Oh, OK OK, just buy a new Mac.
Anything else isn't worth the hassle and if there is plenty of money this is worthwhile.
For anyone who spends so much time on the damned things.

Ann Althouse said...

Thanks for all the technical help, but I'm just limping to the finish line with this thing and don't really care enough to educate myself.

Paul Snively said...

Quaestor: Ann's iMac is a 32-bit machine, Snow Leopard runs, but is problematic on 32-bit architecture. Also there's the issue of RAM; iMacs of that vintage came with 1GB of installed memory.

Based on the specs Dr. Althouse posted, she apparently has an iMac "Core 2 Extreme". First of all, all Intel Core 2 processors are 64-bit. Secondly, the iMac "Core 2 Extreme" has a whopping 2G of RAM (yeah, I know). iMacs back to mid-2007 are officially supported by El Capitan, and the 2G RAM meets that minimum specification.

So if she hadn't already indicated a lack of desire to jump through the hoops, she could buy the Snow Leopard upgrade for $20, then upgrade the rest of the way to El Capitan for free, and be completely up-to-date on that machine.

But yeah, a new machine is advisable at this point.

Laslo Spatula said...

A post on Cosmo and Sex Positions turns into a forum on Operating Systems?

What the Hell?

Does no one have sex anymore?


I am Laslo.

Quaestor said...

First of all, all Intel Core 2 processors are 64-bit.

True, but irrelevant. The early Intel iMacs used a 32-bus. The situation is exactly analogous to the introduction of the 80386 CPU way back when — a 32-bit processor installed on a 16-bit bus.

Secondly, the iMac "Core 2 Extreme" has a whopping 2G of RAM (yeah, I know)

Again irrelevant. Ann's box is not that model. Unless she has upgraded the memory it has two slots, with a 512MB DRAM in each.

iMacs back to mid-2007 are officially supported by El Capitan, and the 2G RAM meets that minimum specification.

Oh, please... El Capitan on that iMac would be a doorstop.

DavidD said...

8 years of Barack Obama, and now suddenly Cosmo is worried about "politainment"?

cubanbob said...

Ann Althouse said...
"Dr. Althouse: 10.5.8... And I'm told the software is up to date. By whom? The current version of Mac OS X is 10.11.6."

By the computer itself.

I know that just means it's not updateable.

9/6/16, 2:12 PM

I have IMac from late 2007 that are running the latest Mac OS and Windows 10. It's a bit of a hassle ( a lot of time consumption) to upgrade the OS from where you are to the current version and check your RAM. If need be swap out what you have to the max it can use which is 4GB. It's called a honey-do so put Meade to work. Figure it will buy you another year as long as you don't mind (or need) anything taxing (processor/graphics wise)and not too speedy. It's fine for blog reading, posting, email and word processing and spreadsheets.It also puts off transfering everything to a new computer.

As for Cosmo, does anyone actually still read it?

Paul Snively said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Paul Snively said...

Quaestor: True, but irrelevant. The early Intel iMacs used a 32-bus. The situation is exactly analogous to the introduction of the 80386 CPU way back when — a 32-bit processor installed on a 16-bit bus.

For Dr. Althouse's purposes, it's the fact that the bus may be 32-bit, but the processor 64-bit, that's irrelevant: the processor will run the current OS, whereas a 32-bit processor would not, and Dr. Althouse is not doing anything with that machine that would visibly benefit from a 64-bit bus.

Again irrelevant. Ann's box is not that model. Unless she has upgraded the memory it has two slots, with a 512MB DRAM in each.

Look again at the specs she posted above. Note the 2.8 GHz CPU. Now look at the link to the iMac 7,1 models I posted above. Now note that the only one with a 2.8 GHz CPU is the "Core 2 Extreme," with 2G of RAM.

Oh, please... El Capitan on that iMac would be a doorstop.

Not true, as this article and several others note. Resource efficiency has been a major focus for Apple from Mavericks through El Capitan.

Final note: you've put a fair amount of effort into painting yourself as some kind of Apple expert, and even taken offense when I recommended to Dr. Althouse that she not take any suggestion to run Linux on the desktop seriously. If you want to try to adopt that mantle, I recommend you do better at your homework.

Hammond X. Gritzkofe said...

2Gb of RAM? Put some old Red Hat in that box. Make your own email server. Everybody needs one.