January 5, 2012

Pepsi say Mountain Dew would turn a mouse into a "jelly-like substance."

Oh, the things you have to say in order to win a lawsuit!
Ronald Ball of Wisconsin claimed that he purchased a can of the bright green, supercaffeinated citrus-flavored soda only to discover mid-sip that there was a dead rodent inside....

21 comments:

Beta Rube said...

Excellent with lamb.

Be said...

Pfft. Brings this to mind:

http://youtu.be/GsgVspgy184

Scott M said...

That's fair. It turns people who drink it incessantly into jelly-like substances as well.

Simon said...

It's been a lot of years since contracts one, but isn't there an extremely famous English contracts case that is almost identical to this, involving a snail in an opaque bottle?

Superdad said...

Okay let's all actually read the article. The scientist testified that the bottling process not that soda would destroy the mouse.

"Cans are filled before the top is crimped on. The key engineering issue is that can walls are about 80 micrometers thick, so empty cans are light, weak, and can easily be damaged. The filling and sealing operations need to be extremely fast and precise. The filling head centers the can using gas pressure, purges the air, and lets the beverage flow down the sides of the can. The lid is placed on the can, and then crimped in two operations."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beverage_can

Rusty said...

Canning and bottling processes are designed to keep foreign matter out of the process.
I smell a scam.

Hagar said...

I suspect that, like milk cartons, the cans go onto the production belt upside down and are flipped right side up just before the filling takes place. Thus any foreign matter in the final product can not have gotten there on its own, it must have had human help.

EDH said...

So, the next time I get a gerbil caught inside my rectum, all I need is a Mountain Dew enema and I'll be good to go?

What a helpful hint.

edutcher said...

Which explains why only 13 year olds can drink the stuff.

EMD said...

Free beer!

I see Be kind of beat me to the punch.

kimsch said...

Plaintiff also claims he sent the mouse to Pepsi in a mason jar and they "destroyed the evidence."

So, where's his proof he had a mouse in his can, that he sent a mouse to Pepsi, or that Pepsi destroyed it?

wv: swarrozy

EMD said...

My grandfather once found a dead, flattened mouse in a can of Pringles. This was back in the day (60s?)

Protein!

kimsch said...

Doesn't Coca Cola remove rust?

wv: kofla

EMD said...

You can clean salt residue from the ocean off your car with Coca Cola.

And dirty pennies, although ketchup works better.

Strelnikov said...

As someone who drinks about 60 oz. of Diet Dew per day, I'm pleased to hear that it is such an effective digestive aid. Knowing this, I won't have to be nearly so careful about what I eat. Good work, Dew!

Strelnikov said...

At my father's car dealership (used) we used Coke to clean battery terminals. Classic Coke, of course.

Amartel said...

Pepsi lawyers: Turning mouse-planting litigation extortionists into a jelly-like substance.
(Still prefer Coke.)

Cedarford said...

Rusty said...
Canning and bottling processes are designed to keep foreign matter out of the process.
I smell a scam.
====================
Yep. We have tort grifters that infest the US legal system. What we need (strongly opposed by lawyers) - is a loser pays system.
Let the con artists pay the legal costs of the businesses they try to lie and defraud through spurious lawsuits.

Same sort of thing happened with Wendy's. Some Romanian immigrant "persecuted refugee" family involved in several other lawsuits claimed they found a rat in their chili at Wendys and were suing for a million dollars for mental anguish to their daughter.

The rat was tested by a lab which also tested the company's vendor that made and froze the chili into steamer tray sized blocks and the restaurant the "persecuted refugees" supposedly encountered the rat in.
Verdict was the rat was not precooked, no sign of any infestation in the restaurant, the chili was kept at 190 degrees for two days in a covered steamer tray. Grifters lied.

Became a public issue when the grifter family insisted on a settlement..maybe 10K for their trouble after their shyster was paid. Wendy's said no. Their other lawsuits were uncovered, people wanted them deported enmasse back to whatever gypsy shithole they came from.
Shyster wasn't paid, the grifters weren't paid, Wendys was out several hundred thousand in legal and independent lab bills. And the "persecuted refugees" stayed in their American haven.

Methadras said...

Is soda going to come with a lawyerly warning now?

traditionalguy said...

The noise in the can room where the newly received can shipments are uploaded into the conveyor runs is deafening.

No one could have heard a mouse.

Gene said...

Many years ago I had a girlfriend who was a reporter. Once when she interviewed San Francisco torts attorney Melvin Belli he told her that he had the Coca Cola company so intimidated that all he had to do was phone the company's attorney and say that one of his clients had found a mouse or roach in his bottle of Coke. With no further ado, he said, the attorney would immediately send a courier to his office with a check for $10,000.