September 22, 2011

"If one day passes without me writing any more vagina jokes, my career is blown... Vagina jokes paid for my house."

Laughs one network TV writer.

"Each season the competition is so stiff over who you can get to watch," a professor says analytically and probably without intending double entendre. "That’s why you’re getting more explicit, or more explicitly inferential, use of language."

Via Adam at Throwing Things, who says:
YES, THEY DON'T LIKE HEARING IT AND FIND IT DIFFICULT TO SAY, WHEREAS WITHOUT BATTING AN EYE A MAN WILL REFER TO HIS DICK OR HIS ROD OR HIS JOHNSON: Apparently not any more, Maude: the new fall tv season chock full of people saying the word "vagina."
Pop culture reference help. "Maude" is not the old TV character played by Bea Arthur, who may have talked about her vagina. It's Maude Lebowski, of the old movie — yeah, it's old too! — "The Big Lebowski."



(Sorry, YouTube only yielded up the Italian version.)

66 comments:

ricpic said...

Wow, Julianne Moore was really juicy back in her young vagina years.

Fred4Pres said...

It sounds a lot classier in Italian.

ndspinelli said...

Fred..even profanity in Italian sounds classy. And..The Dude is all class!

Fred4Pres said...

Julianne Moore was really juicy. To her credit she has not aged that badly.

I watched Something Borrowed. Holy shit, Kate Hudson turned into Goldie Hawn!

And yeah, there were a few "did you pull your vagina" jokes.

I think the use of the term coochie is more polite, unless you can say it in Italian.

Scott M said...

Isn't it just wonderful when women want to act like men?

Fred4Pres said...

I would like to rewatch that whole film in Italian now.

Although even Kingpin would seem more classy in Italian.

Calypso Facto said...

Erect monuments, blown careers, stiff competition, and vagina jokes; Althouse is really testing the limits of the work porn-censor!

phisc: When she gets to phiscing, she'll have gone too far.

richard mcenroe said...

Wait until the next time she writes about a long-standing precedent...

G Joubert said...

I find myself just not watching much network TV anymore. I did really like The Big Lebowski though. I think I own it.

prairie wind said...

Maybe they should consider writing smart humor. Just an idea.

MarkG said...

I like the sound of "vagina" in Italian. But penis is pene, which makes it sound teenie.

traditionalguy said...

I guess boobs are passe now.

But at least hotpants are back in.

Boobs and hotpants are civilized foreplay, but going straight to the vagina seems so barbaric.

I blame DSK's style of hot chimpanzee sex.

Fred4Pres said...

Here is a suggested note to give to the wife or girlfriend if you want some:

La vagina è bella. Mi piacerebbe visitarlo stasera.

How could see say no!

But vagina jokes, I don't see that being nearly as successful.

chickenlittle said...

Tira più un pelo di figa che un carro di buoi.
~Italian proverb

Peter Pecker plucked a peck of pubic pelo.
A peck of pubic pelo Peter Pecker plucked.
If Peter Peck plucked a peck of pubic pelo,
where's the peck of pubic pelo Peter Pecker plucked?*

____________
*Cat got your tongue.

Titus said...

Julianne Moore shows her tits in many movies.

I like that.

Tits.

edutcher said...

What Joubert said.

This is the reason the nets' market share is falling like a B-17 over Regensburg.

Titus said...

I would love to see a movie starring Kate Winslet and Julianne Moore's tits.

It would just be their tits.

That's all.

tits.

Fred4Pres said...

Chickenlittle, yes it does.

Fred4Pres said...

Titus, Sometimes I wonder if you really are some sexually frustrated straight guy living in his parents basement (who likes adopting a gay personna).

ndspinelli said...

Julianne Moore is a fine actress and interviews I've seen show her to be very down to earth and normal. She was great in Boogie Nights. I'm sure Titus loved Scotty[Phillip Seymour Hoffmann] in Boogie Nights!

dbp said...

“Two Broke Girls” lost me with the vagina joke.

It wasn't due to hearing the word "vagina" on network TV, it was just the utter stupidity of the joke.

The woman is a waitress and she had a couple of obnoxious hipster customers who were snapping their fingers for service saying, "Dude, could we get service over here."

She proceeds to snap her fingers in the guy's face and say that this, (snapping fingers) makes her vagina dry. Isn't this kind of like a guy complaining that something a woman does makes his penis limp? It is not the insult she thinks it is. Especially since there was no indication those guys were even interested in her. Of course now they will never be and will leave a meager tip, if any at all.

A funnier joke would have been for her to put her breasts at the customer's eye level and say, "Dude, do I look like a dude to you?"

Dust Bunny Queen said...

But penis is pene, which makes it sound teenie.

Or like pasta.

There is a time and place for everything. Lord knows I have been known to cuss up a storm when I feel like it. My language can often make an ex-logger/plumber blush (my husband). Nothing wrong with salty language.

I would never descend (and that is what it is a descent from decency)to such in public.

Like Joubert, I don't watch much television anymore either. The shows may start out with a funny or interesting premise: then they just get stupid or crude or both. Sorry. I've been over bathroom humour and junior high pull my finger jokes for a really long time now.

Titus said...

I love Boogie Nights but Scotty was gross. Phillip Seymour Hoffman did a great job playing that character.

Julianne Moore showed her tits in Boogie Nights. She has cute little freckle tits. Her nips are large and have a nice shade of pink.

tits.

Titus said...

Julianne Moore also shows her tits in The Kids Are Alright.

This time while muffin diving with Annette Benning.

tits.

Trooper York said...

Are those those very expensive sixteen dollar muffins?

Titus said...

I would love to see a avant gard movie of just tits going through the mundane tasks of a day.

Tits reading, tits walking, tits running, tits showering, tits cooking, tits gardening, tits on the phone, tits hanging a picture.

I think it would be a huge hit.

Tits.

Shouting Thomas said...

Tight Ass, you must not be cruising around the internet porn sites.

Tits are everywhere. Naked as hell.

Joe said...

I agree that the vagina "joke" in "Two Broke Girls" was off kilter, not funny. It was lazy writing where shock is used to make up for a lack of creativity.

(So far, the new TV season looks pretty drab, even for some existing shows.)

Cedarford said...

traditionalguy said...
I guess boobs are passe now.

But at least hotpants are back in.

Boobs and hotpants are civilized foreplay, but going straight to the vagina seems so barbaric.

I blame DSK's style of hot chimpanzee sex.

=====================

DSK didn't go straight for the vagina. He went straight for the Euronote. Which the Ghanan whore took and went straight to her knees.

PatCA said...

Most of these sitcom jokes are not funny, which is worse that being merely vulgar.

That's why I don't watch them. I'm about to de-DVR TMZ too.

Scott M said...

(So far, the new TV season looks pretty drab, even for some existing shows.)

I'm waiting to see how badly they screw up Terra Nova.

PatCA said...

Scott, Terra Nova seems to be an enviro cautionary tale as possibly envisioned by Al Gore. Won't be watching.

Scott M said...

I assume any sci-fi on one of the big networks to be PC-bullshit to the max. That being said, though, I still try to give them a fair shake.

Falling Skies started with a good premise, but just fell apart.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

I'm waiting to see how badly they screw up Terra Nova.

True story. Just what killed Falling Skies and Boston Legal and a whole bunch of other shows that they just couldn't leave well enough alone.

Take an interesting science fiction concept and throw in some anti conservative/Bush diatribes, throw in the token gay/lesbian boo hoo sob stories, make sure the diversity balance of racial types is juuuuuuust right even though it may make no sense in the plot, top it off with a huge slopping wad of global warming drivel......and ....nevermind I have something better to do than be preached at by a bunch of liberal sub adult elitist snob screen writers.

When Raylon starts spouting political drivel, Justified will be all over for me.

Too bad. You were good while you lasted.

Scott M said...

Too bad. You were good while you lasted.

Ironic, isn't it, that the one show that doesn't fall prey to the above-mentioned contemporary TV maladies is the one show that's actually designed not to have them...Sons Of Anarchy.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

@ Scott

Right! Sons of Anarchy. Good show.

Of course motorcycle gangs are not known for their politically correct views or diversity inclusion. To add that would be to create a totally moronic show and NO one would believe it.

:-D

But...the writers and producers just can't seem to help themselves. They will screw this one up too.

E.M. Davis said...

The Fades premiered last night on BBC 3.

Of course, I don't live in the UK, so I don't get BBC 3, so I have to download it from the internet.

It was pretty creepy-cool.

Carol_Herman said...

Penn Jellette has a new book out.

In this book he compares lengages. (Eskimos, he starts out, don't have a huge number of words for "snow.") But a significant number more that those you'd use.

He goes on to say that in France there are a huge number of words for a man's penis. The Brit's out-do this for masturbation. Then, he comes to the USA. And, he declares us the winner on all the substitute words we have for tits.

Then, because he's discussing patented magic tricks ... if you should go to the US Patent Office, Penn Jillette has patented a "gel Jet" ... (Jet for Jillette) ... that a woman uses to "finger puppet" herself.

A man who can pay off his mortgage on vagina jokes, had to hope his mortgage broker was an American male. Venture away from the word "America" ... and you could have a mortgge broker who doesn't speak English. Not all cultures are the same.

Carol_Herman said...

Titus, would you settle for an old fashioned radio (with tubes inside), that had two beautiful roundish spheres ... and each side had a dial?

A radio like this could'a been somebody's mother. It gets hot, too. Tubes do that.

Trooper York said...

Don't go so fast there guys. A current subplot on Sons of Anarchy is that Juice who the club thinks is Puerto Rican is in fact half black with a family situation very much like our current President. The new sheriff (a stern upright black man doncha know) lectures him on how the club is racist and if they find out they will throw him out. Regardless of all the crimes they committed together and how they did jail time.

So get ready for some kumbaya bullshit from these jackhole screenwriters.

Scott M said...

I don't mind a subplot along those lines, Trooper, as long as it's handled realistically, ie, completely unlike The Perfect Storm and everything else since, oh, The Bad News Bears (the Walter Mathau version regarding sex, not race).

paul a'barge said...

I love to eat them but I refuse to worship them.

And a shave and a wax job is mandatory.

ricpic said...

Titus said...

I would love to see a avant gard movie of just tits going through the mundane tasks of the day.

Read Philip Roth's The Breast, Titus.

Fred4Pres said...

I like 30 Rock. Now Fey and Baldwin are hard core lefties, but their jokes are balanced and I actually like Baldwin playing a conservative on the show.

Shows would be better if they balanced the political humor. Even All In The Family eventually learned that Meatball was equally contemptable to Archie.

Fred4Pres said...

paul a'barge said...

Better said in Italian:

Io amo mangiare loro, ma mi rifiuto di adorarli.

E una rasatura e un lavoro di cera è obbligatoria.

rhhardin said...

Vagina is polite for vulva.

You won't hear vulva jokes.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Vagina is polite for vulva.

Nope.

Two different things. Actually parts of the whole. Just like a carburetor is part of the engine, but isn't the same thing as the engine. However, just try starting your car without a carburetor. A finely tuned engine needs all the parts to be in working order ;-)

Trooper York said...

And it always works better if it is really lubed up!

Psychedelic George said...

Husband and wife go golfing.

Wife hits the ball into the rough into a patch of buttercups.

She lofts the ball out but whacks the heck out of the buttercups.

As she's going back on the fairway there's a big poof! Suddenly Mother Nature herself is blocking the woman's path.

"I don't like what you did to my buttercups," said Mother Nature. "For the rest of your life you will hate butter. Everything about it will be repulsive...their sight, smell, taste. Everything!"

Poof! Mother Nature disappears.

Wife goes back on the course, doesn't see her husband, and yells, "Where are you?"

"I hit the ball in the rough," he yells back. "I'm in the pussy willows!"

"Don't hit the ball!" his wife screams. "Don't hit the ball!"

Dust Bunny Queen said...

And it always works better if it is really lubed up!

Slick 50. FTW!!

lol

Fred4Pres said...

You do not start driving when the engine is cold, you have to warm it up first.

Even better in Italian:

Tu non ci si sposta quando il motore è freddo, si deve scaldare prima.

chickenlittle said...

@Psychedelic George: Build me up, buttercup!

Are you related to Original George, who used to post here years ago?

chickenlittle said...

@Fred: Labbracadabra!

Oligonicella said...

Dust Bunny Queen -

"Or like pasta."

Manicotti?

Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chickenlittle said...

Penso di sì

Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chickenlittle said...

Peter è duro come la pietra.

Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ken in sc said...

Although penis is a Latin word it is not the Latin word for penis. Penis means tail in Latin. Mentula is the Latin word for penis.

chickenlittle said...

Mentula is the Latin word for penis.

IIRC, in Italian slang, minchia means "dick." The words sound related.

chickenlittle said...

Still, the worse words and phrases in Italian are blasphemies.

Jose_K said...

Vulva not vagina is usually they a re talking about

William said...

Vaginas are not just as intrinsically comical as dicks. They just aren't. Also, I would warn all women against going down the vagina boffo road. Pretty soon women will not just be worrying about such drab things as flab in their upper arms and chancles, they will have added baroque anxieties about piss flaps and a diminutive clitoris. The less men know about the vagina, the better for all of us.

Jose_K said...

Tira più un pelo di figa che un carro di buoi
I fact is spaniard: tira mas un par de tetas que un par de bueyes
A pair of breast pulls stronger than a pair of oxes.

chickenlittle said...

@Jose_K:

But don't you think that "pelo di figa" is a much better constrast than a pair of breasts? Deliciously vulgar too.
I mean, some women are built like bulls, right blogfather?