June 29, 2006

The judge and his...

... penis pump. Oh, no! Now, he's on trial facing up to 40 years in prison, and the jurors keep laughing.
A man who once served as a juror in Thompson's court testified that he never saw the device, but figured out what it was based on movies he had seen.

The comment sent sidelong glances through the courtroom.

"It sounded like a penis pump to me," Daniel Greenwood testified. He said he had seen such devices in "Austin Powers" and "Dead Man on Campus."

Dr. S. Edward Dakil, a urologist called as an expert witness, ... defended use of the device after defense attorney Clark Brewster said it was an out-of-date treatment for erectile dysfunction.

"I still use those," Dakil testified.

Brewster paused.

"Not you, personally?" he asked.

"No," Dakil responded as jurors laughed. "I recommend those as a urologist."

ADDED: Don't you think it helps the defense that the jurors keep cracking up? If you were the defendant's lawyer would you have a strategy to get them laughing? If you were the judge -- the judge-judge, not the defendant-judge -- would you suspect there was a strategy to make the jurors laugh? Would you do something about it?

UPDATE: Despite the hilarity, the jury convicted the judge (and recommended a one year sentence on each of the four counts).

43 comments:

Dave said...

40 years for a penis pump?

What does one get for being high on Viagra while presiding as a judge?

Life?

Seneca the Younger said...

Uh, Dave? One doesn't get "high" in Viagra.

Ann, the link is busted.

Dawn said...

I keep hearing Austin Powers voice saying "That's not mine!"

Seneca the Younger said...

Here's another one with the usual Brit snarky headline.

Ann Althouse said...

Broken link fixed. Temptation to make penis joke resisted.

Goesh said...

They will rise to the occasion and be objective about it I'm sure - most juries do.

Meade said...

Brings to mind the old Laugh-In catchphrase ending in "...da judge."

What options would the judge-judge have if he suspected laughter being employed by the defense? Nothing like an authority figure declaring "NO LAUGHING ALLOWED!" to prompt snickers and guffaws, right? At least, that's how I remember it from grade school.

Buddy Larsen said...

At least the judge didn't bore the jury.

CB said...

A quick search of Oklahoma cases for laughter & jury produced an old case where a sentence was reduced because of the prosecutor's conduct:

The defendant in his argument discusses at length and with a great deal of force that when the court propounded the defendant the question as to what governor pardoned him, his answer was received by the jury with humor and laughter, and the defendant insists that the propounding of the questions to the defendant as to his going to the penitentiary, remaining there for a number of years, being out on parole, and being pardoned, and what governor pardoned him, prejudiced the rights of the defendant before the jury.

Kimbrough v. State, 66 Okla. Crim. 66, 78 (Okla. Crim. App. 1939)

Bonus: the Lexis overview of another case that came up mentioned that "wittiness was not charged." I thought this was very interesting, then saw that it was a typo for "witness."

CB said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
knoxgirl said...

She testified that during a trial in 2002, she heard the pump during the emotional testimony of a murdered toddler's grandfather.

The grandfather "was getting real teary-eyed, and the judge was up there pumping on that pump," she said.


Silliness aside, this bit is pretty creepy.

Meade said...

Creepy, but is it criminal? The charge is "indecent exposure." Reading the article again, I still don't understand how that occured. What is it that would need to be indecently exposed -- the pump or the penis? The penis, I presume.

Buddy Larsen said...

"We Know We Belong to the Gland, and the Gland We Belong to is Grand, O-O-O-Oklahoma...."

(apologies to Rodgers & Hammerstein)

dmc_in_washington said...

How is it "indecent exposure"? Prosecutors say the judge flashed his penis three times in court, including twice while presiding in murder trials. The judge also masturbated and shaved his privates on the bench, say prosecutors. Affidavit at:

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/0121051judge1.html

RogerA said...

Why do I keep seeing those commercials about Bob, his happy wife and enzyte as I read this story. If only the judge had heard about Enzyte.

Word verification: zfnad

Pogo said...

Okay, fire the man. Take his pension. But 40 years? 40 years??

Does the fact that he's a judge make this kind of sentence more reasonable? Too bad we can't put actual pedophiles in prison that long.

AJD said...

"Temptation to make penis joke resisted."

Uh, Ann, the whole post is a penis joke. You didn't resist any temptation.

In fact, I'm seriously doubting that you were ever the rebel you claimed to have been in high school. It's the childhood goodie-goodies who find the need to post this kind of stuff as adults.

VW: grwup

Pogo said...

AJD needs a jealousy enema.

No realtionship to the topic here intended, of course.

Ann Althouse said...

DMC: Thanks for the link. It was quite gross. Interesting about the juror witnesses, saying that he was constantly looking down and one guessed that he was playing video games and the other that he was tying fishing flies.

I'm sure the judge won't get four 10 year sentences to serve consecutively. He's getting what he deserves just going through the humiliation of this trial.

Buddy Larsen said...

Lately the liberal sense of humor seems to begin and end with GWB slipping on a banana peel.

Ann Althouse said...

AJD said..."Uh, Ann, the whole post is a penis joke. You didn't resist any temptation. In fact, I'm seriously doubting that you were ever the rebel you claimed to have been in high school. It's the childhood goodie-goodies who find the need to post this kind of stuff as adults."

Guilty as charged by a ridiculous, sanctimonious prig.

RogerA said...

To paraphrase Rodney King: why can'we all have a sense of humor!

Buddy Larsen said...

World's thinnest book:
"The Wit & Wisdom of The American Left".

lawdog said...

as for this is indecent exposure. One of the articles about this case said the judge's court reporter saw the judge using the pump on the bench a numbere of times. So he was exposed to her, at least.

I don't know if he should get forty years but this should be criminal.

Telecomedian said...

I don't want to sound too gross, but aren't "penis enlargers" just a different term for "masturbation sleeves?" Was this guy not just touching himself, but also pleasuring himself while in court?

Ewww...

Buddy Larsen said...

Guess the accused is no student of Judge Learned Hand, huh?

Truly said...

What is a penis pump supposed to do, anyway? Or is it really just covert masturbation (as someone said)?

I'm shocked that quxxo's not weighing in on this.

Buddy Larsen: Ew!

Brendan said...

Suddenly, "Keep your hands where I can see them" takes on a whole new meaning.

Fatmouse said...

>What is a penis pump supposed to >do, anyway?

First off, let me explain that I know this FROM THE INTERNET, not from any personal experience.

It's a tube that creates a sealed vacuum. And squishy bits inserted will expand like a baloon due to the lower air pressure. Yay erection.

The reason these things are scams is that the minute it's removed, everything flops back to normal unless you can keep it up normally.

Some people can masturbate with them in a way, by increasing and decreasing the pressure.

And whatever you do, DON'T do an unfiltered search for "Extreme Pumpers."

Maxine Weiss said...

Ann, anything new going on at that 'inhabited' Frat House ?????
:)

Peace, Maxine

knoxgirl said...

And whatever you do, DON'T do an unfiltered search for "Extreme Pumpers."

gosh, thanks for the warning!

Jennifer said...

Oh come on knoxgirl, you KNOW you were gonna.

Jim H said...

I believe you’re right, Professor Althouse. Jurors who have laughed a lot seem less punitive. I have no evidence other than observations I made when I prosecuted misdemeanors. Some talented defense lawyers bring levity to the right cases. That isn’t as difficult to respond to as are judges who cut up and entertain jurors throughout trial.

And the jokes are only new to the jurors.

Maxine Weiss said...

"First off, let me explain that I know this FROM THE INTERNET, not from any personal experience."--Fatmouse

I'm tech illiterate and don't know how to block junkmail and spam on in my email account...

.....so I've gotten quite an education on these matters well before this trial.

Wish someone would help me block junk mail from my email account.

Peace, Maxine

Dr. Melissa said...

To your question: Yes I think a laughing jury is less likely to be as punitive. Perhaps the Judge is enjoying the penis jokes as much as everyone here.

Meade:
"Creepy, but is it criminal? The charge is "indecent exposure." Reading the article again, I still don't understand how that occured. What is it that would need to be indecently exposed -- the pump or the penis? The penis, I presume."

So would that mean if he had a person hidden under his desk & robes that would be okay, too, as long as nothing was "exposed"?

Buddy Larsen said...

Fox just reported the verdick. Guilty on all four counts. No wiggle room for the judge.

Ann Althouse said...

"Verdick"? That's so cruel.

Buddy Larsen said...

crime doesn't pay

Telecomedian said...

Well, *I* did do an unfiltered search, and, I now know more about these things than I ever imagined.

Apparently, it depends on which model you get. Some create the seal to make the erection, whereas others can be used for self-pleasuring. There are various inserts for them to simulate various stimulations.

So, they're like Kitchen Aid food mixers - you can get the pasta maker attachment, the bread hook, the whisk, the sausage grinder...

Wouldn't masturbation in a court room be a much more serious offense? The guy might have gotten off easy.

(two puns in four paragraphs...)

DaveG said...

Where is the "40 years" coming from? I read "a one year sentence on each of the four counts" - isn't that four years?

Ann Althouse said...

DaveG: Read the article at the first link:

"Thompson, 59, is charged with four counts of indecent exposure, each punishable by up to 10 years in prison."

DaveG said...

Oops, my bad. I was exercising my 20-20 hindsight based on the later update. Burned by RTFA again! :)

The jury recommendation seems more in line with a fair punishment - 40 years does seem very harsh.

Meade said...

Dr. Melissa :
So would that mean if he had a person hidden under his desk & robes that would be okay, too, as long as nothing was "exposed"?

Didn't mean to suggest that what he did was okay, any more than it would be appropriate for a female judge to be pleasuring herself with a concealed vibrator when she should be giving her full attention to a witness giving testimony.

I was wondering where the crime would be if his penis had never been exposed. Is it a crime to masturbate in public if no one can detect what you're doing. Today's article says his court reporter testified that she saw Thompson expose himself 15 times. Apparently, that was what led the not-so-amused jury to stifle their laughter long enough to convict.