October 31, 2010

Halloween... we just got the tiniest little Spiderman...

... coming to the door by himself. There was a parent back there in the dark somewhere. Earlier, the bell rang and there were 3 kids: a clown, a ketchup bottle, and a witch.

ADDED: I'm less sentimental now than when I wrote that — 10 minutes ago. We've been holding out a bowl with 6 different kinds of full-size candy bars and saying "Take one." There were 3 kids and one boy took 2. Meade said "Take one!" He said that 3 times, and the boy didn't put one back. Nor did the parents, 15 feet away do anything to rectify the situation. The next group came, and Meade held out the bowl and said "Take one," and a parent, standing back 15 feet, called out "Take one or 2." The hell? Full-size candy bars cost 89¢ at Walgreen's. You don't take 2. My faith in kid-humanity is shattered. Now, we have to switch to choosing for them and handing out one apiece.

ADDED:

What's worse?
The boy who took 2 and didn't put one back when Meade repeated "Take one."
The parent who called out "Take one or 2" after Meade said "Take one."
  
pollcode.com free polls

IN THE COMMENTS: Meade said:
Hey, we just finished up the night with a great bunch of seven kids - looked to be about 10-12 years-old - and they all sang us a song! They were great! And polite.

Faith in kid-humanity restored! Thanks, Obama!

106 comments:

El Pollo Real said...

a clown, a ketchup bottle, and a witch.

First-rate political parody as always in the Madcity!

New "Hussein" Ham said...

A ketchup bottle? Really?

Must have been Heinz. Theresa Heinz.

OOooohhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Now that's scary. She was almost First Lady. BOOOOO!

Jason (the commenter) said...

I can't place the clown though, could be anybody.

john said...

This country would be a lot better off if one of the prerequisites for running for POTUS was to throw a strike from 60'6".

john said...

Are we going to live blog Halloween? Then I need to move to the livingroom so I can watch the game and answer the door.

Palladian said...

Clowns to the left of me, Witches to the right, Here I am, catsup in the middle with you.

Big Mike said...

@john, did you see Dubya burn it in there just a few minutes ago on TV? Pretty good. His Dad isn't looking so good, though.

john said...

BM - yea, that's what got me thinking.

Can I call you BM?

Revenant said...

What's up with the *parent* saying "take one or two"?

Maybe they didn't hear you and figured the candy was the usual bite-size pieces?

Palladian said...

"The next group came, and Meade held out the bowl and said "Take one," and a parent, standing back 15 feet, called out "Take one or 2." The hell? Full-size candy bars cost 89¢ at Walgreen's. You don't take 2. My faith in kid-humanity is shattered."

That's Madisonian parents, simply cultivating little Democrats.

Meade said...

"My faith in kid-humanity is shattered. "

Wild dogs I tell you! I blame Obama.

former law student said...

So the parents were close enough to tell these were full size candy bars -- unbelievable.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Meade: Wild dogs I tell you! I blame Obama.

I blame the "Greatest Generation", they're the ones who didn't raise the boomers.

john said...

Meade - if you read "Zits" in this mornings comics, you would know what to do.

MadisonMan said...

We ran out of candy at 7 PM and turned off the light. I didn't have anyone trying to take more than one, although one kid with weird gloves was having trouble picking up anything.

former law student said...

Parents are worse -- while even good parents can raise a feral child, they should at least try to restrain him.

El Pollo Real said...

Full-size candy bars cost 89¢ at Walgreen's.

My neighbor around the corner, bless his heart, always gives out the normal bite size stuff. But when our kids show up he whips out the giant 5 lb size: link.

Irene said...

We had only four kids. We had a big bowl full of (good) miniature bars. I parceled out two miniatures apiece.

Later, many groups of five or six children walked past our house and did not ring the bell. Word must have spread through the neighborhood that: (1) we had miniatures; (2) the hag at the door had control of the bowl.

Lisa said...

It is not suprising that a kid would make a mistake and take two despite being told to take one. They could have special needs (in hearing or comprehension), they could have been exhausted or overwhelmed, or they could have simply been following the conditioning from other homes. We give kids the benefit of the doubt because they lack experience and because frankly all their cylinders are firing yet.

The parents were rude asses. No getting around that.

ricpic said...

You give out full sized candy bars?! I always stock up on Reese's Pieces. The kids take handfuls and it doesn't break the bank.

Jason (the commenter) said...

former law student: Parents are worse -- while even good parents can raise a feral child, they should at least try to restrain him.

I wouldn't feel bad about it. Meade had 30 seconds with the kid, tops. But the parent is going to have to live with their behavior for life.

Sweet revenge if you ask me.

Lisa said...

I almost wish folks wouldn't give out the full size candies. It is much harder for a parent to control portions with a bigger child and a full size bar is too much for a kid under 6.. even just one.

Most of the homes we went to gave out the fun size but many offered two. This was much better for the wee ones.

Lyle said...

Y'all need to be more giving. It's Halloween! Leave the children be.

And do miniatures so you don't have to even tell them to take just one.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Why I like Halloween where I live:

1. Long dark driveway with over arching looming trees. Scary at night. (cue creepy music)

2. Long distances between homes. Discourages walking. Parents have to 'transport' the kiddies.

3. Wildlife that can scare the crap out of you and hurt you...and I don't mean gang-bangers ... mountain lions, bears and SKUNKS.

4. It is usually horrible weather. Freezing, snowing, raining. Although right now we are having a wonderful extended Indian Summer.

To make up for all of this. We have programs at the VFW for the young kids. Generally up to age 13. (I have no idea what the older kids do....nor do I care... a bear can eat them) Costume contests, trophies, cookie decorating, apple bobbing, games, music, food, drinks. Lots of fun. Most of the parents come in costume as well.

Adults, with no children, in our area participate in a community wide blow out costume party/dance at the local fair grounds. Pretty much fun too, as long as you don't get busted for DUI. That does tend to squash the fun.

garage mahal said...

A small child skinned her knee, slightly, perhaps the size of a grain of rice, on my property, trick-or-treating tonight. I *immediately* thought about the ramifications of OBAMACARE. How would that all work out, after 2014???????

Isn't that like the same thing as the Mayan thing or whatever?

Trooper York said...

All the stores on Court St. hate Halloween. You get kids from all over Brooklyn, not the neighborhood tykes. I bought six big bags of candy and then got the little bags and put two pieces of candy in each one. I stood at the door and looked menancing. If a kid opened the door he got some candy. Usually one would do it and then the rest of them would swarm like maggots on rotting flesh.


Now I don't care about the little kids but I hate to give it too the big chootches who must be 19 years old. So them I give something really scary.

A job application.

Big Mike said...

So the parents were close enough to tell these were full size candy bars -- unbelievable.

They're just being good Democrats.

Lawler Walken said...

It probably unnerved the poor kid, there he is thinking oh it's Halloween this is so much fun the nice people in this house are going to give me treats and then this looming figure appears at the door and barks out an order: One Only. Why not just turn off the porch light, pull the drapes and act like you're not home.

You can't try and control Halloween. That's not the spirit at all.

1jpb said...

Maybe Althouse can sue the kids, and their parents.

Getting all worked up isn't my thing. Every now and then I have similar experiences (not to mention that I'm sure some of some of my places get 'trucked in' kids, presumably because they're assuming that those hoods pay well), but I don't let a few bad apples taint the whole experience.

Different strokes for different folks.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

And do miniatures so you don't have to even tell them to take just one.

I considered this but couldn't find any place that sold miniature razor blades.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Althouse should find out where the kid lives and go egg their house.

Palladian said...

"Althouse should find out where the kid lives and go egg their house."

This is Madison we're talking about! What if the kids have an egg allergy?!

Or the eggs may have not been laid by free-range, vegetarian-fed, organic chickens?!

Dear God, are you insane?!

Skyler said...

Faith in kid-humanity? Kids faced with bowls of free candy? Come on! The whole point is to get it by threat.

Next time, hand the candy out yourself. Don't let their grubbies get near the bowl and spare yourself the existential angst! :)

You need a third option on your poll: "Meade for not taking the candy bar back."

PatCA said...

In fairness to kids, if you offered a child a million dollars or a bag of Snickers, he would take the Snickers and would remember the joy of that for the rest of his life.

Meade said...

1jpb said...
"... a few bad apples taint the whole experience."

Bad apples? Kids don't want apples. Much less, bad apples. They want candy!

Meade said...

Hey, we just finished up the night with a great bunch of seven kids - looked to be about 10-12 years-old - and they all sang us a song! They were great! And polite.

Faith in kid-humanity restored! Thanks, Obama!

roesch-voltaire said...

In the past we have had up to fifty kids come trick or treating so I can not imagine giving out full sized candy bars, and as far as I can tell no one in the neighborhood gives more that the bite size stuff.None of the kids complain and all were reasonable and well mannered-- do I need to mention most of them belong to a minority group as we live in a very integrated section of Madison and that may account for the difference in experience?

Michael Haz said...

Liberals' children. They want to take as much of what's yours as they can. What'd you expect?

Trooper York said...

The wife and I went as Mike and Molly this year.

Eat shit and die Maura Kelly.

edutcher said...

We had about 35 (big crowd for us), a lot of them older, and they cleaned us out. The little boy from next door was dressed as a puppy, a lot like Sherlock- he even did Sherlock's bark. And there's always one kid that wins the night and almost always a girl.

One year it was Dana Scully, complete with Federal ID badge.

This year, a girl in what looked like a Catholic school uniform (like my sister wore). Tried to figure what she was and blurted out, "Hermione? Granger?".

"Thank GOD", she yells, "Finally, somebody got it!!".

Ann Althouse said...

I'm less sentimental now than when I wrote that — 10 minutes ago.

Don't let one kid and a bad set of parents kill the night.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Meade: Wild dogs I tell you! I blame Obama.

I blame the "Greatest Generation", they're the ones who didn't raise the boomers.


No, most of the Boomers turned out to be good people - they're the heart and soul and guts of the Tea Party. For every William Ayers, there are a lot of Roger Donlons and Chris Christies. And Sarah Palins.

Irene said...

We had only four kids. We had a big bowl full of (good) miniature bars. I parceled out two miniatures apiece.

Later, many groups of five or six children walked past our house and did not ring the bell. Word must have spread through the neighborhood that: (1) we had miniatures; (2) the hag at the door had control of the bowl.


That's no hag; that's a lady.

Palladian said...

" Hey, we just finished up the night with a great bunch of seven kids - looked to be about 10-12 years-old - and they all sang us a song!"

Did each verse end with "Mmm, mmm, mm"?

Trooper York said...

I agree with that commie, roach voltaire.

The black moms make their kids say thank you and are very respectfull.

It is the yuppie scumbags who are the worst.

Palladian said...

"The wife and I went as Mike and Molly this year."

I went as Michelle Obama's ass, but since I'm not quite fat enough, I had to use some padding.

Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kimsch said...

We had a teeny-weeny Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie. I have no idea where they found that costume!

One house in the neighborhood was giving $1,000,000 Trick or Treat bills with a bible tract on them along with a real $1 bill.

The kids also got plastic harmonicas, decks of Toy Story Go Fish cards, and pencils along with all the American and Mexican candy.

Mexican candy because Illinois is a border state no matter it's physical location re the southern border of the U.S. and our community has a large Mexican population. Also Eastern European and Indian.

wv: temsher

al said...

We gave out full size bars as well (good deals at Costco). One kid tried taking two and my wife said to take only one. He put one back. Another kid came back for a second and my wife asked him if he had been here before. He said yes and hung his head in shame. Mom, who was standing back a few feet, didn't look happy with the kid.

Triangle Man said...

Or the eggs may have not been laid by free-range, vegetarian-fed, organic chickens?!

@Palladian

What do you mean? Like bootleg eggs or imports or something?

Pastafarian said...

I might try full-size bars next year, but it will be expensive. I started the night with about 40 pounds of candy, gave out 4 or 5 miniatures each (some good stuff, not the cheapest, but not quite Ghirardelli), and toward the end of the 90 minutes I had to scale back to just 3 per customer.

And I had one little bastard come up and say "Just give me the candy" instead of "trick or treat". I'm not too quick on the uptake sometimes, and maybe he was dressed as some sort of prick and was playing the part; but I think he was just a little bastard.

I had another little bastard make a noise like "aw, come on!" when I gave him 4 miniatures. I guess he expected more.

But other than that, most of the kids were cute as buttons and very polite. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays.

I'd never let them reach into the bowl. In fact, one of my decorations is a pile of severed arms near the door, next to a bloody axe, with a candy bar clinched in each hand. Seriously. I tell them that that's what happens if they get grabby.

Palladian said...

"Or the eggs may have not been laid by free-range, vegetarian-fed, organic chickens?!"

INORGANIC CHICKENS!!1

traditionalguy said...

I have lived in upscale neighborhoods with public streets, and I have lived in one with Private streets and a gate with access key cards. The private neighborhood has 10 or so knocks and only polite small fry on foot until 8:30. The public one had teenagers driven around by parents in large groups like tax collectors from the rich, until 10:30

El Pollo Real said...

The lamest thing a trick-or treater can do (we just just had two) is to forget to say "Trick or Treat." Forget the not saying thank you part--that's a given these days. But to forget to ask? That's utter entitlement mentality.

Palladian said...

I've never really liked candy, so I was always really happy when I went to houses that gave out crayons and little trinkets and things. One lady always gave out those little tiny wax-wrapped cheeses, I loved that.

Another old lady handed out bars of motel soap and little bottles of shampoo. Hate.

There was an old couple that used to mix peeled grapes and cooked spaghetti noodles in with the high-quality candy in their plastic pumpkin. The unsuspecting new kids would reach in, feel the slimy, eyeball-like grapes and the cold, damp noodles, squeal and run away crying. The braver kids that weren't deterred got things like little boxes of Godiva chocolate (which was considered the pinnacle of ritzy in my sort of town) or 5 one-dollar coins wrapped together in a candy wrapper. Looking back this seems much more in the spirit of the holiday than just handing out stuff without a catch, and much more memorable. Today they'd be arrested.

Pastafarian said...

60 grit said: "Parsimony is inappropriate on Halloween night."

I disagree. Everyone starts with a finite amount of candy. I start with something like 40 pounds of it, and if I handed out great heaping handfuls to everyone, I'd only be able to hand out for about 30 minutes, then I'd have to shut off my light.

Isn't it better to give 150 kids 3 or 4 pcs each, then give 50 kids 9 to 12 pcs each?

Deborah said...

We never get trick or treaters. Aside from the fact that we live on atop a hill, amid lots of spooky trees, and always keep the lights turned my husgand has a reputation in teh neighborhood, thanks to our lefty neighbor on the left (ha ha), of being a right wing militia survivalist type. Which is fine with me -- it works on Jehovah's witnesses, too.

wv. nugclogst. That's what I thought, too.

Deborah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ignorance is Bliss said...

In the past we have had up to fifty kids come trick or treating so I can not imagine giving out full sized candy bars

We give out full size candy bars. Where we used to live we would give out over 100 a year.

Where we live now, not a single trick-or-treater.

Titus said...

I am reading Shirley Jackson.

Thank you.

She died in Bennington-fab.

Julie Harris who was in the movie Hill On The House-lives in Chatham-fab.

Russ Feingold's ex mother in law was my first grade teacher-she smelled of cheap vodka and camels.

AprilApple said...

Generation Give. Me. It. is spawning. Not good.

Michael said...

We get the ones who observe that you are trying to give them candy to which they are allergic, the ones who would prefer UNICEF cash, and the ones who prefer a different brand of candy. My oldest son used to surreptitiously extract candy from the bags of the rude children with a sleight of hand that a three card monty professional would envy. He would appear to deliver two pieces into the depths of the bag but would quickly pull out his hand with four hidden pieces. Excellent retribution to the rude. Traditional Guy's experience is similar to that of our neighborhood. We have people from out of the area arriving at 9:00 and appearing dazed and lost when most doors are not opened. It's Sunday night. Time to quit.

Misty said...

I can't give out the bite sized bars because in MY mind for every time I open the door I must eat one of these little teeny nearly calorie free bars myself, especially Snickers. But, alas, they add up and I have loads of regret the next morning as I awaken in a post hyperglycemic stupor!

kk said...

I gave out decorated cookies (baked by me in a state-inspected kitchen, individually wrapped in plastic, and labeled with ingredients) and "fun size" butterfingers and was out by about 8:15, which is when the kids started getting taller than me and I stopped feeling responsible for giving them things.

My personal point of sticklage is that if you don't say "Trick or treat!" you don't get anything. I had several kids just stand there expectantly, as if I were the candy fairy. One kid just said, "Candy!" And he was at least 10. I am also annoyed by high school kids who have not made an effort at a costume. If you're an older teen who has a great costume and has clearly made an effort, than I begrudge you not your sugary treats. High school girls in cowboy hats, however, do not evoke the same benevolence from me.

Penny said...

Have any of you noticed the remarkable similarity between your candy supply on Halloween and your retirement account?

You use your best judgement, yet no telling if you will have enough, and frankly, that makes us all a little bit goofy.

pm317 said...

LOL, that was hilarious, 'take one!' Ours was not full size but still big and I criticized my husband for buying that fearing that we may run out fast if each kid took a handful. Then we had our neighbor's two-year old girl come up in a beautiful red ladybug costume, she had a stale looking lolly pop in her hand and when she saw my tray of bright colors (Reese's peanut cup, Kitkat, and others) she gave her lolly pop to her mom and started taking the candy one by one from my tray -- her mom said take one but she would not listen, so the mom put back and the child took a new one. That went on until she started to eat a Reese's peanut butter cup.

garage mahal said...

I thought empathy and decorum went out the window. If you can stomp on someone's head, why can't you grab a few more candy bars? And what's up with leaving candy bars "for everyone else? anyway? Sounds pretty socialistic to me.

Penny said...

PatCA said, "In fairness to kids, if you offered a child a million dollars or a bag of Snickers, he would take the Snickers and would remember the joy of that for the rest of his life."

Wishful thinking. More likely the kid would take your million and snicker.

Ralph L said...

Today they'd be arrested.
We had that done to us at my 3rd grade class's Halloween party in SoCal. Very unsanitary, and not voluntary.

Here, the churches(!) had parties last night, followed by fireworks at City Park. No one goes door to door.

Jim B said...

Have to say: had the best Halloween experience in a long time tonight.

We took our 3-year old daughter out for trick-or-treating tonight dressed as a pink Care Bear (nice furry costume for the chilly air).

We live out in the sticks a little bit, so we drove to an actual neighborhood a few miles away.

1) Our local supermarket has a day care where you can drop your little ones off while you shop (large regional chain), and the girl who is usually there when we do our weekly shopping had suggested we stop by tonight. So we did, and the store had put together a nice little goodie bag for her...Nice to know that SOME businesses still remember how to earn customer loyalty through good old-fashioned personal service.

2) The people in the neighborhood were awesome. Most of the adults were sitting at the end of their driveways "tailgating it" with grills as they handed out candy to the kids. They all seemed genuinely happy to be doing it, and were unfailingly cheerful.

3) The wife and I were so proud of the little one. Always "Trick or Treat" followed by "Thank you" and even the occasional "Happy Halloween to you too" when one of the adults wished her Happy Halloween. I know it seems like such a little thing, but it's hard not to beam with a little pride when your kid is such a good reflection on your parenting. (And the wife was extra pleased because the Care Bear costume received more than its fair share of positive comments, and it was her idea.)

4) On a related note, one of the parents gave our little one an extra piece of candy for actually saying "Trick or Treat." He said she was the first one tonight that had actually said it rather than simply holding out a bag and waiting for candy. Both the wife and I were shocked, when did it stop being MANDATORY that you actually say "Trick or Treat" before you get the candy?

Good times.

jamboree said...

Go to the 99 cent store. 4 or more full size for $1. It's really not the kids' fault if you don't know how to shop. And if you have enough $ that you don't know how to shop properly for Halloween candy, then you have enough money to let the kids take two $1 bars each.

I don't know but around here we always have more candy than kids, so take 1 or 2 is fine with me.


Your poll was perfect. No place to check "other", so I didn't vote.

PatCA said...

Our bunch was especially cute and nice this year too. They must know that Tuesday the Republic will be restored!

Last Gallup poll: +15 on the generic poll for Repubs.

peter hoh said...

For the first time in 14 years, we didn't pass out candy.

The 18 y.o. made a Halloween-themed movie with a bunch of his friends, and we had a screening/cast party at a nearby art/theater space.

The 16 y.o. and a friend took a younger relative trick-or-treating.

At the screening/party, we placed a big bowl of apples on the table with the other snacks. Surprise, surprise -- quite a few of the teens picked apples over the candy and pop.

Anybody want some leftover candy corn?

Synova said...

Okay, how about this scenario:

The parent didn't hear or wasn't paying attention for whatever reason, bluetooth in the ear, whatever, and was adding his or her own "don't take a handful" version which was "take one or two".

The solution, of course, is that you don't hold out a bowl, the kid holds out his or her plastic pumpkin and gets whatever is given.

Synova said...

Actually the real solution is to turn all the lights out and hide in the basement and watch movies.

;-)

former law student said...

I am also annoyed by high school kids who have not made an effort at a costume.

In my youth, high school kids would wear a watch cap (today's "beanie") and smear burnt cork on their faces. I guess they were hoboes or in the merchant marine. They'd ring the door between 9pm and 10pm.

Once we got our windows soaped -- how's that for old-time authenticity?

Today the excitement was over by 8:30. Kids say "Trick or treat" but are shy about it. Some are doorbell pressers, which makes the dog bark.

Topher said...

My younger brother is autistic, and trick-or-treating with him was difficult because he HAD to have exactly one of each kind of candy that was offered at each house. Most people were understanding if you explained his condition to him. Some weren't understanding and would refuse, and then he would start causing a scene. I'd often end up bargaining with them, saying he could have my share of the booty if they'd just humor him. (I'd just steal it back at home later anyway)

That's not to say the "take one or two" parents weren't in the wrong, the topic just triggered memories for me of some embarrassing situations from my own past.

My mother, bless her, still takes him out trick-or-treating because it's one of the things he loves to do. Having a thirty year old show up on your doorstep trick-or-treating is, I'm sure, disconcerting. But at least he does go all out on the costumes - I think this year he is a ballerina. Having a thirty year old male show up on your doorstep as a ballerina is disconcerting, full-stop.

DaveW said...

We only had 3 sets of trick or treaters. It has declined sharply over the last few years, I'm not sure why. I haven't seen any stories about people spiking candy the last few years. That sort of broke out with the Ronald Clark O'Bryan murders back in the 1970s.

I like the new kid's costumes. Rather than full outfits they are more like bibs with a theme character on the front, usually with some hat or other accessory. They have a slight reflective quality which is a good idea.

k*thy said...

We had some parents say, "Take one" and we chose not override that. If there were no parents or if they were there and said nothing, we said, "Take two."

ndspinelli said...

When I coached baseball, before having kids of my own, I realized there is so much kids don't know unless you teach them. Some kids are more coachable..more teachable, than others. And, I came to see pretty quickly, some parents were a liability, not an asset in that regard. However, being a glass half full person, I always remembered there were more good parents that shitheads.

Let me commend you on being generous..full sized candy bars are rare now days. When our kids were small we would decorate our garage and hand out hot dogs, soda, hot chocolate and candy. I realized that when I ws a kid there was such a sudden end to a great night. So..our house was the last stop. We would give out 200-250 hot dogs, candy, etc. We had beer for the parents. We did bobbing for apples w/ presents for succeeding[not just for trying..but for getting the apple!].There were shitheads, but what I choose to remember are the many more good parents and kids.

We now have a scaled down event. We have a fire pit in the front yard w/ hot chocolate[Schnapps fortification for adults]. We give out Hostess Twinkies, Cupcakes, etc. for the kids to sit and eat while warming w/ hot chocolate and the fire. We then give them candy when they head out. We get much more joy than we give...much more.

Tertium Quid said...

Repeat after me:

I CONTROL MY CANDY BOWL.

Class factotum said...

What's up with the *parent* saying "take one or two"?

Maybe they didn't hear you and figured the candy was the usual bite-size pieces?


Even if it was bite-sized, the polite thing to do is to take one unless urged otherwise. But who lets the kids pick anyhow?

We had no problems. Polite kids. Most said "trick or treat," but a few I had to prompt.

One told me, as I dropped the peanut M&Ms into his bag, that he was allergic to peanuts. His mother and his sister yelled at him for being rude. Unfortunately for the kid, the only other option was a Reese's PB cup.

We got a lot of black kids from the central city. I don't care that their parents want to bring them someplace safe with good candy.

Carl said...

How niggardly of you, Ann.

Carl said...

Does it strike anyone else of socialism that "Meade" (presumably her husband and not her drink of choice yesterday) was insisting on portioning out the candy so that it could be spread as equally as possible?

That's unAmerican! First come, first serve, it's the American way. You didn't get your share? Too damn bad, I got mine!

Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TruculentandUnreliable said...

Ann, kids aren’t dumb.

They’ll just spread the word to come back to the drunk lady’s house a couple hours later to get a second candy bar because there’s no way she’ll remember them.

Carl said...

Dear Ann,

The gang over at Sadly, No! and I are having a bet. We're wondering if you could be a bigger douchebag.

Me, I'm saying no, anyone who could post a rant deriding kids at Halloween in some Oliver Twistian "Please ma'am, I want some more" sneering Haterade fashion has probably sunk to rock bottom, but many of the folks there, including some of the editors, believe you could go much much lower.

So I was wondering if you could come over and comment and either confirm or deny your douche level? Are you at Massengill, or as I think, have you reached "OMG! I used the colostomy bag!"?

With love and respect,
Carl

PS I still haven't forgotten that night on the Brooklyn Promenade. I even have the screw tops from the wine bottles! I hope it was as unforgettable for you as it was for me.

lucythewonderdog said...

Who's worse? The fucking bitch who whines because kids took two.

If you don't want them to take fucking two candy bars, don't hold the entire fucking bowl out.

Freeman Hunt said...

Heh. The funniest I had was a grown man without a costume carrying a costumed baby less than a year old and having no other children with him.

"Trick or treat."

I don't think that baby is going to eat the treats I gave her.

Freeman Hunt said...

We spent a lot of our trick or treating time going over the etiquette of the activity with our three year old.

"Trick or treat!"
"Oh, an astronaut! Here you go."
"What is this? What kind of treat is this?"

... later away from the house ...

"After they give you the treat, you just say thank you. Nothing else unless they ask you a question. Don't ask them questions about the treats. Part of the fun will be going through the treats to see what they are when we get home."
"But what IS it?"

"Trick or treat!"
"Happy Halloween! Here you go."
"That's a banana."

... later away from the house...

"Just thank you."
"We don't ask questions about the treats."
"That's right. But another rule is that we don't comment on the treats either. We make no observations about the treats at all. We just say 'thank you' because it is very thoughtful of everyone to hand out treats, so we are thankful for that."

...

"Trick or treat!"
"Here you go."
"THANK YOU!"

Heh.

Beth said...

God, you're an idiot.

NutellaonToast said...

I bet ten million dollars the parent said "Take one, (child's name)" and Ann misheard her.

BJM said...

My fav of the night was three preteen boys wearing white lab coats, horn-rimmed glasses, stethoscopes and carrying clipboards: 3 out of 4 medical experts.

The restaurant supply store had several varieties of individually wrapped fruit based sweets this year, so I went with something different. We gave out fruit leather roll-ups and the kids seemed pleased.

Synova said...

So Carl and Lucy are from Sadly, No!

And they came over *here* to find douche-bags?

DaveW said...

I'm still trying to figure out the colostomy-bag douche-bag idea and how someone comes up with that.

SiouxsieL said...

One of my greatest childhood memories is trick-or-treating on the fanciest street in my hometown (we are talking multi-million dollar mansions), and one of the homes giving out full-sized Hershey chocolate bars.

Floridan said...

Lighten up.

Ann Althouse said...

That "Beth" is not our Beth.

Meade said...

Our Beth is good. That "Beth" ⇡ is not likeable enough to be the real Beth.

Class factotum said...

Non-class Factotum wrote: We got a lot of black kids from the central city. I don't care that their parents want to bring them someplace safe with good candy.

What the fuck - that is some of the most racist shit I have ever seen posted here.


Really? Then how do you explain that there are a lot of kids who don't live in this neighborhood who are driven here to trick or treat? (The same thing happened in Memphis.) Should I just have said, "They give out crummy candy in their neighborhood?"

The FACT IS that a lot of black parents bring their kids to my neighborhood. That is fact. It is not racist to state a fact. What other motives could there be besides 1. safety and 2. quality of the candy?

Carl said...

I don't care that their parents want to bring them someplace safe with good candy.

Facty-fact-fact, what DO you care about when it comes to black kids and their parents?

This is why this is racist.

Carl said...

And they came over *here* to find douche-bags?

Heard you were running a two-for-one sale, Synova.

I know, I know, only *one*!

Carl said...

I'm still trying to figure out the colostomy-bag douche-bag idea and how someone comes up with that.

Simple, Dave.

I have an education that included English lessons.

If you'd like, I know several good primers you can study. I recommend, for your level, the "Dick and Jane" series.

Emphasis on the Dick part.

And you can take that anyway you want to...

z said...

Eighty nine cents? How could you spare that? Did they have a sale on box wine, so that you had a few extra pennies? Oh, the humanity, that a child would cost you an extra eight dimes and nine pennies.

jgmurphy said...

Hey Ann Sweetie....I can't believe you graduated law school but never learned how to buy candy for a crowd. You go to Walgreen's or target and you get a peat mosss size bag of MINI candy for about ten bucks and you're good for the night. NO ONE buys full size bars for trick or treaters and then shouts at them to take "just one." These kids can't be expected to be physicists and stand at the door and analyze the size of the bars. They have been hitting house after house and grabbing handfuls---or MINI bars that everyone else was sensible enough to buy. Then they get to your house and what, they're supposed to stand there and do an optical measurement of the bar and make a mathematical calculation to take one bar because it's larger? Come on. I can't believe someone with as little sense as you passed the Bar.

Ann Althouse said...

Giving out full-size candy bars is a special thing that kids love. Most people have the "fun" size, but the old-fashioned full-size is considered the mark of real Halloween caring. If you don't know that, maybe it's because no one in your region keeps the old tradition. The trend toward tiny candies has been going on for a long time. It's hard not to give into it. I guess I'm not surprised a lot of you don't know of anything else and actually imagine that it's wrong or dumb to give out full-size. You really ought to take into account that you might be ignorant.

Tom said...

So try handing them out next time. The kids are probably used to getting handfuls of the smaller stuff.

AlphaLiberal said...

This seems like a real odd kerfuffle. The big candy bars are a neat idea, but little ones are used to getting small candy bars and to people giving more than more than one.

So it's just a habit thing. And the parent in the background probably didn't know they were full-sized candy bars.

So, it strikes me as a misunderstanding and not worth condemning the children and parents of Madison. Wee children are not always good at nuance.

Kind of a silly thing to get judgmental over. I think An Althouse is just always looking for ways to bash Madison and bash liberals. But you come off as a bit flint-hearted.

(Mentioning, I found this post via Sadly No! but do think they were a little unfair, or off-target, as well).