August 27, 2023

"Her husband, whom she met when she was 21 and he was 81, dictated precisely what shade of nail polish she should wear (pink, pale and sheer, never matte)..."

"... and gently tapped her on the head when her roots were showing. When he was in residence, he issued a 6pm curfew ensuring his young wife was home to share his dinner (always chicken soup with cream cheese and crackers) and watch his favourite movies. Then, after dark, she was expected to participate in the group sex for which Hefner was famous. 'It was embarrassing. I don't know the most people there'd been in our bedroom at one time but – a lot. Pretty bad. We were like, "Oh, now it's your turn." Nobody really wanted to be there but I think in Hef's mind, he still thought he was in his 40s, and those nights, the people, the mansion, solidified that idea. He felt, "I've still got it."' There were also the famous 'Sunday Fundays' when 200 young women would descend on the Playboy mansion. Its octogenarian owner took so much Viagra that it made him lose his hearing on one side (a recognised side effect of the drug). 'Hef always said he'd rather be deaf and still able to have sex. Weird,' says Crystal...."

From "The hell of being married to Hugh Hefner by his Playboy Bunny third wife: Crystal Hefner, 37, describes how he took so much Viagra it made him deaf and imposed a 6pm curfew so she'd stay home and share his chicken soup" (Daily Mail).

Always chicken soup with cream cheese and crackers? It's one thing if that's just what you like and choose to eat every day, but why would you impose that on your wife? Don't you get different food from what your spouse is eating some or most or all of the time? All I can think is that he got a perverse thrill out of making the young woman eat something so bland and repetitive. I was going to say eating chicken soup with cream cheese and crackers every night could be a funny analogy to monogamy, but if he got a thrill out of imposing on her with the soup and cream cheese and crackers, then it actually is like the "Oh, now it's your turn" group sex.

The article say she had "an ironclad pre-nup," but if so, why wasn't there a nondisclosure agreement that would have barred her from going public with this soup-and-cream-cheese scandal? Count me skeptical. Reread the post quoting Picasso's grandson.

76 comments:

Gahrie said...

How is Hefner's life any different from the woman in the post below this? He was living his best life and ignoring those who made judgments about him just like she did.

mikee said...

The secret to living a life you really enjoy is to find something you like and stick with it. Some people enjoy sunsets, others religion. Soup and cream cheese and crackers is an odd choice, but it was his choice, as was the rest of his repetitious behavior, again and again and again and again.

holdfast said...

Perhaps he considered the deafness to be a bonus when surrounded by so many young women?

Curious George said...

"Don't you get different food from what your spouse is eating some or most or all of the time?"

At a restaurant? Sure. At home. No.

Pointguard said...

What?

wild chicken said...

Alice Denham wrote he was a boring self-involved dud in 1956 too. But she had him to herself for one night.

Of course, if ever there was a guy who didn't really have to try, it was Hef.

WWIII Joe Biden, Husk-Puppet + America's Putin said...

penis obsession. so boring.

William said...

My sex life was rather less boffo than that of Hugh Hefner. I do take some comfort, however, in learning that my diet has been far more variegated and interesting than his. I'm just glad that I lived long enough to see the invention of the air fryer. I'm eighty. Group sex doesn't have much appeal, but it's exciting to fantasize about all the cool things I can do with an air fryer.

Ampersand said...

If she is accurate, the horrific part of Hefner's march toward physical death was the much earlier death of his capacity to imagine a life for himself in which he could flourish.

Patrick said...

This could not have been too far from what she was expecting when she got married.

Michael K said...

Drag a hundred dollar bill and see who follows it. Hef's dating policy.

Political Junkie said...

On a top 10 list of 20th century villains, I have Hef on the list.

rehajm said...

His personal and professional were one and the same. The lifestyle publication means projecting the lifestyle, including the female image.

Dude1394 said...

She got a little more than she bargained for. However, I am quite sure she knew all about it before she signed up for the money.

JAORE said...

What a hellacous existance.

(I hate the ghoulish practice of burying your spouse twice. Once at the graveyard. The second time in a book.)

So why did she not leave?

Oh a pre-nup?

She's young, beautful and (moderately) famous. She surely could have found another way. Perhaps not the level of fame. Perhaps not the level of wealth. But still...

That just means she liked the perks more than she hated the life.

Ice Nine said...

Young, beautiful airhead who marries dull, dorky, 81 y/o, rich sex industry guy whose business is solely about women's looks, is subsequently surprised by the curfews, group sex, nail polish requirement, etc.

Other than the chicken soup fixation, did she actually expect something different for her money?

Paul said...

So what? She wanted his money... she whored for it. Why would we care?

Breezy said...

“Nobody really wanted to be there”.

Isn’t that some sort of crime? The participants obliged of course, for some sort of paycheck - fame or infamy - but this actually sounds like some sort of ritualistic cult.

Dave Begley said...

That was the life she choose.

tim maguire said...

The hell of being married to Hugh Hefner? She clearly married him for the notoriety and the money. She got exactly what she bargained for and now she wants us to feel sorry for her because we might not choose the deal she chose? Not happening.

planetgeo said...

Hey William, like what kind of "cool things" can you do with that air fryer? And is it the generic one or the blue one?

Ice Nine said...

>Hugh Hefner’s widow Crystal Hefner has said the Playboy founder died “right on time” before the #MeToo movement began, as she divulged a number of details about their marriage.<

I never cease to be amused - and disgusted - by these MeToo whores whining about the sexual component of the business bargains they struck.

Richard said...

Maybe he believed in chicken soup for the soul.

Mason G said...

"The hell of being married to Hugh Hefner..."

Then get a divorce and move on with your life. What happened to "Grrrl Power/I Am Woman Hear Me Roar", anyway? Sounds like a lot of whining to me.

Eva Marie said...

Is chicken soup, cream cheese and crackers really so odd? Don’t people put sour cream in chicken soup? And BTW, I just googled it and there are lots of recipes with cream cheese added to chicken soup.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

I've heard two contradicting stories about soup.

It was once the treat for the rich and once, perhaps still, the only thing available to the poorest & food insecure.

It must have something to do with dates and geography. Or maybe both have been true since the beginning. And there is no mystery. Never mind.

Joe Smith said...

"Always chicken soup with cream cheese and crackers?"

It beats what she was eating every night in bed.

You'd need a hazmat suit to enter the bedroom.

Tina Trent said...

The Playboy Foundation, a very old organization, is "dedicated to free speech" by supporting the likes of the ACLU and abortion advocates. Yet the women under Hefner's control, financial or otherwise, were treated like chattel, forbidden to exercise even the most basic choices over their own bodies, even if they chose the role.

Ironic, right? Even more ironically, leading feminists partied with Hef, and leading feminist organizations eagerly took his foundation money.

And so did politicians Left and Right, media stars, Hollywood stars, civil rights stars ... and their daughters certainly didn't end up in Hefner's bed. That was for the struggling young women trading on their looks -- foolishly -- but not as cynically as the elite of all political persuasions who walked in through the front door.

How is this different from Epstein?

Earnest Prole said...

I can tell you fancy, I can tell you plain:
You give something up for every thing you gain

traditionalguy said...

Our design guy likes to call old men who go for young women Fools. Because all are designed to die.

ALP said...

Sigh. So tired of hearing from other women about the "hell" they are in when they are the ones to put themselves in that situation in the first place.

walter said...

holdfast said...
Perhaps he considered the deafness to be a bonus when surrounded by so many young women?
--
And perhaps he was faking it.

re Pete said...

"Sometimes it gets so hard, you see

I’m just sitting here beating on my trumpet"

Iman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Iman said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
John Holland said...

I can remember years ago -- like, late '80s or early '90s -- reading that the Playboy Mansion was notorious in Hollywood circles for the mediocrity of the food.

You'd get an invite to a dinner party at, say, Robert Evans, and he'd fly in a chef from Paris and the food would be incredible. Next night, you go to Hef's and it's hotdogs and potato salad on a paper plate. Hefner apparently had zero interest in food and, thanks to decades of pipe smoking, no functional taste buds. His favorite beverage was Diet Pepsi.

But, as so many have already pointed out, Crystal Hefner would have known all this long before signing the papers and saying "I do." What is the point of publicly whining about it now? I'm guessing that some expiry date passed on the prenup or the non-disclosure.

rehajm said...

How is this different from Epstein?

The murdering? The Clintons?

Jay Vogt said...

Nothing classier that writing fun stories about a dead family member.

Narr said...

Some rich men live to bang younger hotties, and as others have noted it was all voluntary. And who's to say Mrs Hef didn't gorge on pizza and pizza guys while the old man snored?

Might as well complain about the heat.

JK Brown said...

Donald Trump said it succinctly

"And when you’re a star they let you do it. You can do anything."

She's a "charity girl" offering up for entertainment and lifestyle. Now, she's cashing in with 'tell-all'

Jersey Fled said...

Couldn’t she have married a baseball player or something?

MayBee said...

Dear Prudence,

My boyfriend is a controlling 81 year old man who likes sex parties and makes me have the same thing for dinner every night.
Do you think he'll change if I marry him?

Thanks in advance!
Crystal

n.n said...

trans/social or normal in a progressive liberal religion

NKP said...

I had a long-ago 'ships passing in the night' acquaintance with a really well-known graduate of the Centerfold Kingdom. Intimate but not 'intimate'. One of the nicest, most down-to-earth women I've known. Comfortable with herself. Comfortable with me as well in spite of the obvious interest in women half my age. A good friend. I wish we'd stayed in touch.

Narayanan said...

out of curiosity hugh-hefner-friendship-donald-trump-ended/

Clyde said...

Zero sympathy here. A 21-year-old marrying an 81-year-old ain’t doing it for love. It was obviously a commercial transaction. It wasn’t like Hefner was some blank slate of a young man who changed during their marriage. She knew wgat she was getting into and what was getting into her.

BUMBLE BEE said...

If she only had agency, the poor dear!.

Mikey NTH said...

Sounds awful.

As a strong independent woman she choose that, correct?

I guess everyone can voluntarily make bad decisions, correct?
Unless that person is a woman, then it is not her fault.

Mikey NTH said...

Tina:
Unlike Epstein, Hefner didn't suicide himself.

gilbar said...

i want to hear More, about when he married his babysitter/nurse..
After driving his 1st wife to suicide..
And THEN his babysitter/nurse started DEMANDING that Everyone call her "doctor"..
And i want to hear about how he showered with his teenaged daughter, until he drove her into drug addiction
For THAT matter, i want to hear about how he REPEATEDLY sexually abused his son, SO MUCH, that he drove HIM into drug addiction.
I suppose i want to hear about how that son used to smoke crack with his brother's wife while f*cking her.
might as well hear about how the son did The Same things, with HIS daughter.
Let's hear ALL ABOUT this pervy family!!
What's that? That was ALL a different pervy family? never mind!

gilbar said...

Lem the misspeller said...
I've heard two contradicting stories about soup.
It was once the treat for the rich and once, perhaps still, the only thing available to the poorest & food insecure.

now do Lobster!

Gahrie said...

How is this different from Epstein?

Age, and consent.

Gahrie said...

It was once the treat for the rich and once, perhaps still, the only thing available to the poorest & food insecure.

Chicken was indeed once rich people's food, and there was a time that lobster was food for the poor.

Jamie said...

Thank you, Tina Trent, as usual!

Joe Smith said...

'How is this different from Epstein?

The murdering? The Clintons?'

Start with raping underage girls.

Are you really that clueless?

Did CNN, MSNBC, the NYT, and The Atlantic leave that part out?

wendybar said...

Just goes to show how TRUE this is....

"When you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Grab ’em by the pussy. You can do anything.”

Freeman Hunt said...

"I married purely for money, and then, Can you believe it?!, the marriage was like I married for money or something. Life is so surprising and unfair."

rehajm said...

The US Open this year was on a golf course that abuts the Playboy Mansion. You could hear the peacocks. Still there. They went to great lengths not to call it the Playboy Mansion on the golf telecast…

NotWhoIUsedtoBe said...

Billions of women didn't marry Hugh Hefner.

FullMoon said...

Definitely true 'cause women don't lie.

Mike (MJB Wolf) said...

Kind of a weird sex and death theme today with a side of modo thrown in giving us a chance to riff on the mugshot fallout. Interesting juxtaposition.

Skeptical Voter said...

Chicken soup, cream cheese and crackers? Hef! You coulda done a Nixon and had tomato soup and crackers--maybe with a bit of cottage cheese on the side. Supposedly Tricky Dick's usual lunch--as a regime to keep the weight off.

Joe Bar said...

The internetz says she's worth 5-6 million dollars. I presume that is her "inheritance". That that makes her a .................?

Mr. Forward said...

Just like my Sundays. Except for the cream cheese.

Two-eyed Jack said...

Exceptional people are not easy. You have to accept that some people need more from you. They are more demanding and I think that Hef was demanding.

The Picasso of pornographers.

Alexander said...

Very sad that the 81 year old world famous sex celebrity pulled such a bait and switch on a 21 year old girl.

Oso Negro said...

traditionalguy said...
Our design guy likes to call old men who go for young women Fools. Because all are designed to die.


I am 66-years old and my wife is 24. Yes, I am "designed" to die, if not in fact "destined". But along the final way, I won't be constrained to living alone with a cat, or grasping for an arthritic thigh in the night. So many people who comment here think of themselves as open-minded and tolerant. Probably 100% on the first and 80% on the latter. But many of you really can't handle people who live differently than you do. Oh! Forgot to mention, she's pregnant. My progeny has a real good shot at making the 22nd Century. Now, enjoy your chicken soup, cream cheese and crackers, olds!!

Mark said...

People mock Hefner as if sex hasn't been the be-all and end-all of most of our culture. Even here.

Bob Boyd said...

I don’t believe the chicken soup with cream cheese and crackers story.

stlcdr said...

Deafness sounds like a beneficial side effect.

Saint Croix said...

Need a Men in Pajamas tag.

Robert Cook said...

Hugh Hefner's life was the R- or X-rated remake of the life of Charles Foster Kane.

rwnutjob said...

Did the prostitute ever figure out how much she got per pop?

As the financial advisor says: If it flies, floats, or fucks, lease it.

Robert Cook said...

Two-eyed Jack said of Hefner: "The Picasso of pornographers."

More like the McDonald's of pornographers.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

It really is a horrible thing that we live in a country were a woman like this can be FORCED to marry a man like that.
Shocking!

HoodlumDoodlum said...

? It's one thing if that's just what you like and choose to eat every day, but why would you impose that on your wife? Don't you get different food from what your spouse is eating some or most or all of the time?

Oh, I don't know, what if he wanted to eat all sorts of other food but found his body wouldn't tolerate anything other than that and seeing/smelling his wife eating something else made him depressed, or something? I mean its possible to construct a scenario here. If one spouse is extremely sensitive to spicy foods/smells but the other loves them I could understand an effective ban on eating meals of those type when together.

Didn't they have a live-in chef at the mansion? If so did they just cook nothing unless there was a party...and during those parties did she still eat nothing but the bland meal he chose? I'm skeptical of this account.