May 22, 2023

"It’s not you telling your mom, 'Don’t take the torn recliner.' It’s someone else saying, 'Maybe another chair would work better."

Said Donna Surges Tatum, chair of the Certified Relocation & Transition Specialist Certification Board, quoted in "Moving Is a Monumental Task for Many Older Americans. These Organizers Can Help. Senior move managers may spend weeks or months helping seniors and their families sort through belongings, pack and move into a new home" (NYT).
One woman who hadn’t cooked for 20 years insisted that she needed to hold on to a particular roasting pan, Ms. Bjorkman recalled. The woman also argued that, as someone who remembered the Depression, a freestanding freezer was a crucial source of comfort — even if it was full of expired food. The roasting pan could be disassembled to fit under the bed in the new apartment, Ms. Bjorkman said. The freezer — still packed with food — served as a living room side table....

From the comments over there:

5 years ago the brilliant, compassionate move manager my family hired to move my elderly aunt from a big house to a small condo did what nobody in the family could do -- persuade my aunt to relinquish some of the seven -- seven == precious bundt cake pans that she insisted she needed in her new home. As someone else here said: Worth. Every. Penny.

61 comments:

RideSpaceMountain said...

"persuade my aunt to relinquish some of the seven -- seven == precious bundt cake pans that she insisted she needed in her new home."

Bundt cake pan hoarding is a huge problem. I haven't been able to find a decent one in decades because people like this are bogarting all the legacy cookware. I promise you those precious pans were tossed too...yeah yeah don't try too hard to put them out on the open market for bundt cake connoisseurs like myself.

Dave Begley said...

I’ve seen this industry operate in Nebraska. Some are price gougers.

Rusty said...

When my older brother passed away and I watched his family divide and dispose of his possessions I realized that nobody values your shit as much as you do. And that is what it is to everybody else in your family, shit. To be gotten rid of.
I light of that I have been steadily getting rid of a lifetime of machine tools and accessories just to save my daughters the expense of backing a dumpster up to the garage and scrapping the lot.
Doesn't anybody fly fish any more?

tim in vermont said...

I try to give away anything that I won't be using, and that I think is worth anything,t o acquaintances who can actually use them, rather than know that the stuff is going to end up auctioned off to strangers at my estate sale for $3 in some lot.

Owen said...

Just went through this with in-laws. Gonna have to do it ourselves in the foreseeable future: cannot burden the kids with sorting through our precious crap.

A friend makes a good living helping people de-clutter and downsize. It’s mostly in the mind that stuff gets stuck. The jammed attic and basement? The outward manifestations of a spirit unable to see clearly and shape what might yet be, and so tries to carry its entire past onward. “You never know” when that seventh bundt pan will make all the difference.

MadisonMan said...

We hired someone to help declutter the family house when Dad moved out at age 92 after 50+ years. I agree with the sentiment: Worth. Every. Penny.

rehajm said...

My elderly parents managed to sell their (disturbingly) old Vermont farmhouse and cull their belongings for the move by themselves. Dad became a Craigslist/yard sale wunderkind. They made the mistake of using a van line they had used decades ago for a move which had great online reviews but the company outsourced my parents small, remote location move to New Jersey Russians with a box truck who overcharged by double and demanded cash or Venmo at delivery. Of course I paid, then listened to the movers brag about their illegal status and boasts about their brilliant moves in court representing each other. One more data point for how the lack of prosecution emboldens criminals...

As they unpacked I made a call to the community police who kindly made a traffic stop on the truck's way out of the neighborhood...

planetgeo said...

Rusty, piscaro, ergo sum

J L Oliver said...

My stepmom was so angry about the loss Bundt cake pan ( tossed by helpful stepson and unused for at least a decade), I had to go online and find the exact one to replace it to get peace.

michaele said...

Wow, this sure sparked some fun kitchen table discussion since my husband is 80 and I'm 75. Holding on to certain items of clothing is the most mockable and we both acknowledge that truth. I have a wonderfully stylish (yes, still) dark hunter green short jacket with white rabbit fur sleeves that I haven't worn in over 50 years. I just went on record to my husband and daughter that I want it brought to me if I'm in hospice care so I can stroke the fur. When I was an elementary school teacher, the little girls loved to stand near me at recess and pet the sleeves. Nowadays, that would be regarded as creepy but, back then, it was sweet.

wild chicken said...

Oy. We did this very thing two months ago and it was ugly. I ended paying a crapload of money to have a young couple haul junk away. Shoulda hired a pro.

I'd already decided to get rid of my mom's Guardian Service pots. How much of that pitted aluminum got into my brain?

It was the reckoning I knew was coming for years. Now we're ensconced in a condo among the hobo tents of Missoula.

Next stop death.

gilbar said...

When my folks moved out of their house (where they'd lived since 1985), it was almost impossible to get my mom to get rid of Anything.. Including wornout paperback books that she'd never read.

Jamie said...

My parents started divesting themselves of their stuff a good twenty years ago, when they were not much older than I am now. We ourselves are newly inhabiting the dreaded (or much-anticipated?) empty nest and I haven't yet started tossing the detritus of life with kids, but I'll get there within the next year or so...

The hard part for me will be the stuff that I KNOW has no value to anyone but me - the kids' early art projects, stored in my closet because even I don't want them displayed, for instance. For heaven's sake, if none of us including the "artist" can remember when or where they were made, and since no one in my family has the slightest artistic talent, why would I save them?

... I have an awesome vintage cast-aluminum Bundt pan from some thrift store or other that I myself never use, but my mother-in-law makes one particular cake in it every time she visits.

Joe Smith said...

Who cares if aunty wants to hold onto 7 cake pans?

wild chicken said...

The husband gave away a lot of his tools to his kids and grandkids before I hired the junk haulers.

But I don't think they had any more idea what to do with his lathe or table saw than what to do with my guitars. Which I didn't give away.

One kid out of all of them knows how to work on cars. I hope he got some good stuff.

gilbar said...

Rusty said...
Doesn't anybody fly fish any more?

I do.
When my mom's 1st cousin died, his daughter (my 2nd cousin) gave me a couple of his fly rods.
I politely said (thinking that they'd be worn out warped $10 sears robuck pieces of sh*t), that she should keep them as remembrances. She told me that she had no place for them.

So i went and picked them up.. And found myself with a near mint condition HL Leonard from the 1920's.
SO! i had to go Back and tell her that the rod 'she had no place for' was worth about a thousand dollars.
She told me that her dad would be Glad that someone in the family would have a use for it.
I've only caught* a couple of trouts with it.. But it's sitting in its tube, on the mantle place in front of me as i type. I is worth more to me than just about anything i own.
when *i* die, my sister will PROBABLY throw it away, along with the rest of my rods.

only caught* it's a 10 foot rod, and would be about a 8 weight if they'd had weights back then. I'm planning on taking it out to Wyoming this grasshopper season and seeing what we can do.

Wince said...

The horribly named "A Place for Mom" should branch out: "A Place for Mom... and her Stuff."

traditionalguy said...

Kindle and Audible are much easier to move thousands of books in numerous bookshelves. Digital books is one good thing today. And a queen size bed is cozier than the King size bed. A second good thing to down sizing moves.

I have a widowed friend who keeps numerous collections of basically toys her husband spent money collecting.she insists they are valuable. We say nothing but wish her well and don’t tell her that when she dies no one will want anything except her money.

Expat(ish) said...

@Rusty - I am busy accumulating machine tools as I lean into metalworking as a retirement hobby/business. What you got?

More seriously, I'm going through this myself. I just keep saying "I think we're on a detail here, we need to get the bigger task done so you can move." Then I take a drink.

Amusing story: I have my (really fantastic guy) FIL's precious drink cabinet from Singapore in my living room. It wouldn't fit in his new house and he couldn't bear it going away. So I have it. He knows that it goes out the day he dies but doesn't care. I tell everyone it's a peloton.

-=XC

RoseAnne said...

I have long accepted that the nieces and nephews would not be thrilled to split up my 30+ collection of Nativity sets. It is harder to accept that they don't want the "Grandpa and Grandma's Nativity set" (the one I grew up with and got because my siblings didn't want it either). That's sad not because of the set itself but because of the story behind it.

The set is made of a resin common to 5-and-dime stores. There are no Wise Men because they couldn't afford them in the 30's. Based on the 8 cent stamp on the lamb's stomach, the whole set of Wise Men would have probably cost less than 50 cents. They did raise, feed, house and educate 6 children (all collge graduates) on what money they did have. What they did was remarkable but far from unknown for people of their generation.

So I have identified a small number of items (less than 10) that I will include stories with
and leave for them to decide. As for the rest, I have already started to get rid of items that could be of use to someone else now. Better that than the dumpster.

Yancey Ward said...

"5 years ago the brilliant, compassionate move manager my family hired to move my elderly aunt from a big house to a small condo did what nobody in the family could do -- persuade my aunt to relinquish some of the seven -- seven == precious bundt cake pans that she insisted she needed in her new home. As someone else here said: Worth. Every. Penny."

I give it about 50/50 odds this comment was written by a professional move manager.

tim maguire said...

I can see how someone who is good at it would be worth every penny, but I can also see how, like life coaching, it can be a field filled with charlatans.

My MIL went through a purging phase after her husband died, to the point where she was giving away important family heirlooms and making it difficult to visit because she’d thrown out so many of the things you need when there is more than one person in the house (like a second glass or plate or towel). She wouldn’t have accepted the guidance, but she really needed it.

DanTheMan said...

Mrs. DtM and I had to move her mom from her 2500 sq ft house to an apartment in assisted living. It was a nightmare.

Mom was very forgetful and had some degree of dementia; she insisted that EVERYTHING had to go with her... every piece of furniture, porch swings, 10,000 books, every Franklin mint knickknack... everything!
Our solution was to divide the house up into "trucks"... what needed to go on the first truck? What can wait until the next truck?
She picked out some books, chairs, end tables, and other miscellaneous items and we sent those with her.

There never was a second truck. Sadly, she went downhill fairly fast and is now in memory care and very slowly fading away. It was, and still is, just awful in every way that it can be awful.

Rusty, you are wise to find new owners for your stuff now... we filled a few BIG dumpsters with "stuff". It was a surprise to find out that NOBODY wanted her furniture, plates, cookware, etc. We literally could not give it away. We filled quite a few HUGE dumpsters.

Yancey Ward said...

My elderly mother is a border-line hoarder. Her home, where I reside with her, is cluttered, and I meet resistance every time I mention getting rid of stuff. Cabinets filled with cooking pots and pans, cloths that belonged to my deceased father, books/CDs/VHS tapes/DVDs/, enough yarn to clothe the homeless of the United States even though my mother hasn't crocheted in 20 years.

I am considering just ordering a dumpster and tossing it all out since I know she will never get around to sorting it. Of course, the pots and pans I can probably send to France via an arms dealer.

Dude1394 said...

We had to move my wife’s early Alzheimer’s father when his wife passed. Wow, so brutal. Everything was special. He had been a structural engineer and he had dozens of blueprint bundles the size of small child. He couldn’t part with any of them and there was no room in his soon to be apartment.

We basically had to offer to store all of his stuff for him. But didn’t.

iowan2 said...

Here's the lesson.
Unless you want to be that irrational bordering on crazy oldtimer, Get rid of stuff you havent used in the last 12 months.

I've been working on my wife for more than a decade, as so far we have built and additional three stall garage, in pursuit of that goal.

typingtalker said...

Tell mom you're putting everything into a storage facility while moving. Buy mom some new furniture and a few kitchen utensils from IKEA. Move mom into her new rooms. Now and then "rescue" some "valuable" items from storage and after six or 12 months donate it or throw it all away.

Buy mom a new big screen TV and show her how to use it.

By all means, don't discard any photographs or documents.

The above is from personal experience as an adult child responsible for several such moves.

Anthony said...

nobody values your shit as much as you do

Yeah, pretty much. As something of an aficionado of estate sales, people generally only want your quality items. Nobody wants your family photos, your cheap art work, your knick-knacks, and most definitely not your 'collectibles' (again, generally speaking). Get rid of as much junk as you can and save the good stuff for the estate sale so your family can at least make some profit off of your junk.

Bruce Hayden said...

So far, we are able to avoid the problems by just adding space. We are adding 1k’’ this summer in a couple condos, and hopefully another 2k’’ if I can get my garage in MT finished. We do love our space. This just delays matters. My daughter is already dreading cleaning up after me. My paperback sci/fi collection covers an entire 10’ wall in the garage. She shouldn’t - she is getting most of the real estate. Between us, my partner and I have 2 sets of silver and one of gold plate. My daughter already has two sets from my mother. We have two sets of fine China, as does she. Three sets of crystal within the three of us. We both have some great nieces, and maybe one or two would like some of our pretty things.

Are we kleptomaniacs? Maybe. I hate not being prepared for the worse, esp with the Dems now working so hard to destroy the fabric of our society, as well as our economy. At a minimum, that means stockpiling food, guns, and ammunition. But also other necessities like TP. I hate not having something that we need, but inevitably end up finding it stored in multiple locations. My partner claims a photographic memory. It works for remembering incriminating things I said decades ago, but not so well finding TP, paper towels, OTC medicines, and even some kitchen implements. So, the next time I am at the store, I buy more.

Marcus Bressler said...

My remaining daughter has never made a comment about wanting to keep anything, and I mean anything, I own and have saved. So I will save her the trouble and sell or throw away everything before I turn 75 in 7 years.

MarcusB. THEOLDMAN

typingtalker said...

Addendum:

I've thought about this a lot and if our house caught fire, I might rescue my computer (it's a laptop) if it was on my way out. To the rest I would wave Goodbye.

This assumes that all photographs and important documents are digitally stored off-site -- which might be an interesting topic for another post. Do your children have access to or copies of all your important documents?

RideSpaceMountain said...

Why can't people be normal and just collect guns? People - at least people like me - love getting your gun collection at what usually turns out to be a reasonable price. Your 27 year old daughter Becky's knowledge of what thing is what and how much it's worth is why I can arm a state the size of Vatican City. At least your grandson Ben plays Call of Duty so he might be able to get more for what's in your safe...but not by much.

Guns are one step below cash in terms of their demand and their "liquifiability", especially if they're rare (not necessarily collectible). I have turned hundreds of guns into literally thousands of bundt cake pans, you gotta have your priorities straight when it comes to collecting.

Yancey Ward said...

Bruce, I don't think that "kleptomaniac" is the word you are looking for:-).

Bruce Hayden said...

“Wow, this sure sparked some fun kitchen table discussion since my husband is 80 and I'm 75. Holding on to certain items of clothing is the most mockable and we both acknowledge that truth. I have a wonderfully stylish (yes, still) dark hunter green short jacket with white rabbit fur sleeves that I haven't worn in over 50 years. I just went on record to my husband and daughter that I want it brought to me if I'm in hospice care so I can stroke the fur. When I was an elementary school teacher, the little girls loved to stand near me at recess and pet the sleeves. Nowadays, that would be regarded as creepy but, back then, it was sweet.”

Clothes are a problem for us. We both have a lot of dress clothes we used for work. I was able to get rid of 3-4 sports coats last year, that predated my previous wife, mother of my daughter, which made them over 30 years old. The 21 and 19 year old grandsons are getting Navy sports coats, and maybe a suit, if the waist will fit. The next two (17 and 15) don’t have the shoulders (yet) for them. No girls yet in that generation, and my partner tended towards size 2 clothes, and the girls these days tend to be a bit heftier. In the grandsons, it is muscle. Not in their girlfriends. So next winter, the plan is to go through her dress clothes and donate a lot of them to a charity that dresses women, often right out of prison, for success. Already donated maybe 100 pair of small sized dress shoes to them last spring. The nice thing there is that you just dump your stuff with them, and don’t have any idea what they discard. You assume that, due to your superior taste, most will be utilized. But you don’t know, and can’t know, which is the key.

Pianoman said...

My wife is going through the same thing with my mother in law. You can really hear the terror in her voice when she talks about possibly maybe getting rid of one or two pieces of junk that are piled up with all the other junk in the garage, family room, living room, middle room, etc. Seems like everything has a purpose and a reason for being there.

She grew up in the receding shadows of the Depression, and I really think that's a big part of it. People like that believe that we're always right on the edge of financial disaster, and that their lives will be upended if they don't have seven Bundt pans.

n.n said...

An appeal to authority with empathetic detachment.

Hey Skipper said...

Last July I moved my mother's stuff from her house in Melbourne FL to independent living in Boise, ID. It took a 20' U-Haul truck jammed to the gunnels with junk not worth the gasoline to set it on fire. Then I moved the stuff into her apartment, to make it ready for her arrival.

Ten days later, she died.

Then another week sifting very little wheat from the chaff, then multiple pickup truck loads to the landfill. Then another month going through all her financial stuff, since she never threw a statement away.

Not being able to part with things, especially someone with not a single loose screw, is just selfish, a complete disregard for other's time and effort.

@Iowan2: Unless you want to be that irrational bordering on crazy oldtimer, Get rid of stuff you haven't used in the last 12 months.

My wife and I have relentlessly followed that prescription for 30 years. Aside from some personal momentoes that wouldn't fill two curbside garbage cans, an estate sale would live this place clean.

And after months of chasing down financial stuff shoved into no end of places, we consulted an estate lawyer to make sure wrapping up our estate will be a turn-key affair.

Christy said...

I just this past Friday brought in a young woman to help me get rid of my stuff and start a weekly clean. Her mission is to keep me out of assisted living (recent health scares that had me wondering if I could still take care of myself) and to tell me what's crap. We had some vigorous and exhausting arguments, but the minute she and her helper left I felt better able to breath. We haven't even gotten to my clothes yet. Have you noticed? Shoulder pads are showing up again!

Michael K said...

It was a surprise to find out that NOBODY wanted her furniture, plates, cookware, etc. We literally could not give it away. We filled quite a few HUGE dumpsters.

We assume that our daughter and my other kids will decline any of our heirlooms, like the dining room set that belonged to my grandparents. We do have some things that can be turned into cash but most of our treasures will go for junk. The only thing I wanted from my mother who died in 2001 was her cast iron skillet. I had made pancakes with it when I was a kid 75 years ago.

Maynard said...

Is a Meadehouse move in the works?

mikee said...

I accepted my wife's inability to dispose of sentimental possessions, from childrens' clothes to unusable furniture. I simply explained that our next house move would be preceded by arson on our home, rather than fighting over what to discard. Win/win.

Greg the Class Traitor said...

You need a tag for "too much money, not enough sense"

Skeptical Voter said...

Twenty years ago my Dad died.He'd been widowed for three years. He owned his house, and the house next door. It fell on me and my wife to clean the properties up and get them ready for sale. After I donated the cars and the RV trailer, there was still a lot of junk on the properties. The trash haulers gave me tip fee certificates showing they'd hauled eleven tons (that's 22,000 pounds for the innumerate) to the dump.

Ten years ago my brother died. He and his late wife must have been on the sucker list for every huckster and catalog vendor. He built furniture as a hobby, and there was a complete cabinet making shop in the basement. There was also a 25 foot long rowing scull hanging in the basement. Not much good up on Grizzly Peak in Berkeley, but he'd rowed it on Lake Merrit when he worked in Oakland. It took me five months to get his house emptied out (big estate sales) and ready to be sold.

Must run in the family. My hobby is building and flying model airplanes (and as I approach 80 it's mostly building these days). I've been doing it for 40 years now. My wife assures me that I have two lifetimes of modeling supplies, and I've been working the last 5 years to diminish that inventory. I'm making some progress in that regard. Mostly give stuff away, but also get rid of a lot of stuff on E Bay. For the heavier, non shippable stuff, it will go on Craig's list. People do accumulate stuff these days.

Greg the Class Traitor said...

She grew up in the receding shadows of the Depression, and I really think that's a big part of it. People like that believe that we're always right on the edge of financial disaster, and that their lives will be upended if they don't have seven Bundt pans.

Given the way the Dems and GOPe are spending, belief that "we're right on the edge of financial disaster" is pretty much the only sane position.

OTOH, It's not clear to me what seven Bundt pans will get your MiL, come the crash

Rusty said...

Expat(ish) said...
"@Rusty - I am busy accumulating machine tools as I lean into metalworking as a retirement hobby/business. What you got?"
I just sold the Mill/drill. The 4X7 horizontal band saw is next along with the old Atlas drill press. The old delta vertical band saw is going to my nephew. carbide grinder and one inch belt sander are both for sale. The lathe is going later this summer.
I'm looking for a fly fisherperson to mentor and give a bunch of fly tying stuff to. I have been doing it longer than I was a T&D maker and I have my later brothers as well.
One thing I have done with my family photographs is write in the back who they are or where and when they were taken. My family history on my mothers side predates the founding of this country. All that goes to my daughters.

wild chicken said...

A 55+ mobile home park near our old house has a rummage sale every year.

But they never have anything good because they'd gotten rid of most everything before moving there.

Admirable but disappointing. Not that we needed any more junk.

Rusty said...

gilbar.
This will make you cry.
My most irresponsible nephew of all time-has kids he hasn't seen in ten years- grabbed all my brothers fly rods except two. All bamboo. A Lenard 5 wt 8ft, an Orvis Madison 6wt 8ft 3". A beautiful 7 1/2 ft 4wt made by a friend in Wisconsin.
If he doesn't pawn them they won't see much use.
He was a founding subscriber to 'Grey's Sporting Journal' he had every issue. I managed to grab them before they got to the curb and give them to his friends along with a lot of his fly fishing books.

Owen said...

So many good comments here. This is a very hot topic for a lot of us. I guess because we are creatures of Time and all this stuff that somehow attaches itself to us is a product of our passage through Time. Thanks all for sharing: maybe there's strength in numbers, or a chance to swap ideas on what works best.

My daughter reported a neat trick: there's a person with a kind of studio where bring some of your stuff. You tell the story of the stuff --why it matters, how it figured in your life-- and they record the story. And then? Often you find you can let go of the actual thing. My FIL was a Rutgers grad and did an oral history with the school about his WW2 experience (he and many in his class volunteered or were called up in about 1943), and I think that history was cathartic for him --and invaluable for us.

Now when I give stuff away --something I am trying to do more of-- I simply want it to go to a good home; some place where it can be useful.

Owen said...

So many good comments here. This is a very hot topic for a lot of us. I guess because we are creatures of Time and all this stuff that somehow attaches itself to us is a product of our passage through Time. Thanks all for sharing: maybe there's strength in numbers, or a chance to swap ideas on what works best.

My daughter reported a neat trick: there's a person with a kind of studio where bring some of your stuff. You tell the story of the stuff --why it matters, how it figured in your life-- and they record the story. And then? Often you find you can let go of the actual thing. My FIL was a Rutgers grad and did an oral history with the school about his WW2 experience (he and many in his class volunteered or were called up in about 1943), and I think that history was cathartic for him --and invaluable for us.

Now when I give stuff away --something I am trying to do more of-- I simply want it to go to a good home; some place where it can be useful.

Owen said...

So many good comments here. This is a very hot topic for a lot of us. I guess because we are creatures of Time and all this stuff that somehow attaches itself to us is a product of our passage through Time. Thanks all for sharing: maybe there's strength in numbers, or a chance to swap ideas on what works best.

My daughter reported a neat trick: there's a person with a kind of studio where bring some of your stuff. You tell the story of the stuff --why it matters, how it figured in your life-- and they record the story. And then? Often you find you can let go of the actual thing. My FIL was a Rutgers grad and did an oral history with the school about his WW2 experience (he and many in his class volunteered or were called up in about 1943), and I think that history was cathartic for him --and invaluable for us.

Now when I give stuff away --something I am trying to do more of-- I simply want it to go to a good home; some place where it can be useful.

KellyM said...

My sister and I will be in this situation with our parents very soon. We've tried to convince them for 20 years to downsize and get rid of stuff so as to avoid this very issue. They're both in their early 80s but my father is dealing with ill health and my mom is being very Pollyanna about everything. But she's one fall down the cellar stairs away from catastrophe.
They've been in that house since 1974 and I swear they've never thrown anything away. The outbuildings on the property are chock full. I swear it will be the estate sale to end all estate sales to get rid of everything.

rcocean said...

Had a old friend of my mothers who kept every appliance she ever owned. She kept the warranty the box, etc. in case "I need to get it repaired". She also had boxes and boxes of shoes, most of which had no wear on them. You never know when you might want to wear those high-heels you bought in 1965!

Iman said...

Oh, mother.
Don’t take that torn recliner

who-knew said...

Thankfully my 98 year old mother is perfectly happy giving away anything she can find a taker for. My brother died unexpectedly and suddenly a year and a half ago and she watched me deal with all his stuff and specifically says she doesn't want me to have to go through that again. As it is, thanks to him I have a different quality watch for every day of the week (and 5 or 6 more days as far as that goes) and more high quality jackets (Filson, Browning, Obermeyer) than you can shake a stick at. At least when I'm done reading all his books, I can sell them to Half-Price Books for pennies.

Narr said...

Despite ourselves, my wife and I have accumulated more stuff than fits nicely inside our 2100+ s.f. And my last brother, who inherited the house we grew up in, is overstuffed even though he has a $400/month storage unit too. (Overstuffed as in, there are pathways through the piles, just watch out for the all the extension cords and try not to knock anything over. I seldom visit.)

None of us were especially good at tossing stuff, and it shows. My wife has a closet full of clothes and shoes that go back to the '80s, but can't discard any of it.

She informed me this morning that for the first time since our Europe trip in '19, her weight is below one hundred and blzkfy pounds. I congratulated her of course, and will suggest that she see what too-big and too-old items of attire she might be able to live without.



iowan2 said...

I heard a General interviewed on the radio some years back and the constant moving was mentioned. The radio host said he could not imagine moving all of his stuff so often. The General said he didn't have that much, and was asked why.

He said his wife explained it to him after 15 years of marriage. She would move all the boxes into the new home and unpack as needed. She said all the stuff her husband packed, never came out unless he asked for it. If the box was still taped shut for the next move, it didn't make the move.

We've moved 6 times, in 42 years, this last one is 19 years in one spot...we are getting full.

wendybar said...

My Mom just moved in with me. I moved her to New Jersey from Connecticut which in itself was a giant pain in the ass, Insurance wise. We started downsizing and packing things 6 months ago to bring many things to the Goodwill.
She still packed too much, but I didn't have the heart to say no to everything. I picked my battles.
She is happy. She brought HER cat to move in with MY 3 cats. That was what was stressing her out the most, and luckily for us, they only had a couple of tiffs...and now they tolerate each other!

My husband and I moved often before we had our house. We moved so much that we downsized years ago...unloading albums and other items I didn't think we would ever use again.
Now, we purge every two years. If we haven't used it in 5 years...out it goes. If we haven't worn it in 2 years...It's gone.
Works for us.

Joe Smith said...

'Oh, mother.
Don’t take that torn recliner'

Now you know how Frasier felt...

Narr said...

When my wife and I bought our starter house in 1986 we put a big box of important things at the back of the closet under the attic stairs.

When we left that house for this one in '06, it was among the last things we brought back into the light, and we had no idea what was in it. I think it was a set of dishes that are nice but not to either of our tastes . . . Stuff IIRC from Oma's, who had died in '84--dishes and the like. It's still around here somewhere, held in trust for our son, who has less use for them than we do.

My will contains two bequests of real property: I leave the fine secretary in the library to my son, and the fine secretary in my office to whoever can afford her.

Thanks folks, I'll be here all month.

Rt41Rebel said...
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Marcus Bressler said...

Garage sales seem to be some people getting rid of useless stuff (that latest fad of a kitchen gadget) and selling it to some other person who, in just a few years, will be putting it on sale at THEIR garage sale.

MarcusB. THEOLDMAN

When my father died, we held a yard sale (he had no garage) but I let my bro and his wife handle all the dickering. I do not bargain. The cheap price is on the item and you insult me by halving it. I'd rather not know.