January 14, 2013

"What worries me most is winding up a vegetable — any vegetable..."

"... and that includes corn, which under happier circumstances I rather like."

Warning: The linked funny essay is in the NYT and by Woody Allen — cue all the usual attacks — and he sums up with punchline that ends with the words "probably better than being a Republican."

34 comments:

n.n said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
n.n said...

To be satiated by your base desires. That is the hope and the dream.

Bryan C said...

1972 wants that joke back.

Surfed said...

There are a lot of thing better than being a Republican. Being Woody Allen isn't one of them.

LilyBart said...


Wouldn't click that link if you paid me.

LilyBart said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Steve Koch said...

To be or not to be, that is the question.

tiger said...

Stupid, intolerant, hate-filled people write stupid, intolerant and hate-filled essays.

DADvocate said...

Allen goes on a long description of neuroses and then ends with the tired "better than being a Republican" line.

The truly funny thing, which I'm sure Allen doesn't realize, is that neurotics think being what they are is better than being anything else. One of my psych professors used a French phrase to describe it, "Quelle est la différence?" (What's the difference?) which describes the neurotics rather defeatist and hopeless attitude towards their neurosis. He thinks its "probably better than being a Republican," but he's too scared (fear is the foundation of neurosis) to find out if anything is better than what he is.

Bob_R said...

Since he gave 1972 the joke, he doesn't have to give it back. He's definitely a Dem. Into recycling.

Sam L. said...

He's already a rutabaga.

Sam L. said...

And rutabagas get no respect.

LilyBart said...


With all the interesting things going on this this world, we are offered this food for thought.

Nice.


edutcher said...

He became a vegetable when he stopped writing for Carson.

AllenS said...

Arugula?

ricpic said...

To give credit where credit is due, Allen does get off some good lines:

I have always had an animal fear of death, a fate I rank second only to having to sit through a rock concert.

True. At least for me. Those who worship The Great Bob not so much.

...I sometimes do have the intimation that we all may be part of something larger -- like a Ponzi scheme.

True. Probably truer than Allen suspects, considering he's a blue dog Democrat and our entire federal budget is a Ponzi scheme.

My parents lived to ripe old ages but absolutely refused to pass their genes to me as they believed an inheritance often spoils the child.

True and very Jewish. I can still remember my parents endless confabs about the problem of the kinder in front of the kinder, my sister and me, and an ever recurring anxiety was whether an inheritance would spoil us. In the end we inherited. What were they going to do, leave it to the goyishe kops at United Way?

ndspinelli said...

I guess fucking your daughter and then marrying her is better than being a Republican in his eyes also. However, I can look past his politics and still enjoy his writing and movies.

creeley23 said...

Tired Republican gibe aside, Allen has been doing this neurotic/hypochondriac shtick since the early sixties.

Maybe it's because I know too much about Allen now, but it's one thing for a kid to be going on this way but another for someone in his late seventies.

Crunchy Frog said...

Corn is not a vegetable. It is a grain.

That is all.

/pedant

traditionalguy said...

His writing sounded like David Rakoff to me. Very funny.

TMink said...

Call any vegetable, call him by name.

"Hey Woody, you old reprobate. Wake up or I will register you to vote for Mike Savage!"

Trey

Dante said...

Warning: The linked funny essay is in the NYT and by Woody Allen — cue all the usual attacks — and he sums up with punchline that ends with the words "probably better than being a Republican."

When you use the term "cue" here, what do you mean? Cue as a verb means to prompt. Are wanting readers to prompt or make their own Woody Allen attacks, as in an invitation to begin the attacks?

Or do you mean cue as in "queue," which is to line up your attacks on Woody behind the other attacks you know are going to come, but hope they don't because you want his humorous article to be the topic of discussion?

Personally, I believe nothing good can ever come from certain people. Like Hitler, for instance. I was told this by my History teacher when I pointed out he had made some daring and even brilliant war maneuvers during WW-II. She gave me a really low score on my history exam (like a C+), and when I asked her about it, she explained that Hitler was a homicidal maniac and that trumped all.

I've come around to her way of thinking. Nothing good can come from Woody Allen.

Amy said...

Nothing in this pitiful piece of whining struck me the least bit funny, and every time I read the words "my wife," I threw up in my mouth a little.
And generally I do have a good sense of humor....at least I think I do.

jr565 said...

I don't need any lessons from anyone who's spent a life time in therapy, is neurotic to the point of
Apoplexy and who was dating girls
Out of his apartment that his ex wife
Has adopted as their daughter.
Whatever his wit at telling a joke, it word
Seem he never quite figured out how
To live as a functioning human being
Absent his endless crutches.
Did you ever think, woody that the reason you are in therapy is because you are such a flaming liberal?

jr565 said...

CMaybe it's because I know too much about Allen now, but it's one thing for a kid to be going on this way but another for someone in his late seventies.


The guy has probably spent more on psychiatrists than anyone currently alive. And it has changed him
Not one bit. Even through his senior citizen years.

I think he's probably the best refutation of psychiatry there is.

jr565 said...

Ricpic wrote:
I have always had an animal fear of death, a fate I rank second only to having to sit through a rock concert.

as opposed to having to sit through one of his concerts.

dbp said...

Woody Allen is mildly amusing in the same way as re-reading say Tarzan is exciting. It is all well-done, but well, done.

Either way, his mention of corn got me to thinking of something I said to my mother-in-law this weekend which amused her. She is one of the few people on the planet who could get what I was saying and was further, a tiny minority of that set who would have such a thing said to them. And it took her a second to get it...

First some setup: My MIL is from a relatively tiny group of South Indians called Konkanis. They make a kind of spherical version of dosa called appo--it uses the same peat (batter) but a cooking form called an Appe Kaayli. The previous night we had made corn pone (Chip Ahoy style) in a cast iron thing that shapes the bread like tiny ears of corn.

So when my mother in law asked how I made the corn bread like that, I naturally answered that we have a corn-pone kaayli.

Astro said...

Apparently the link went to the wrong article. I read the first 6 paragraphs and clearly there was nothing funny there.

Btw, he doesn't have to worry about turning into a vegetable. He's already a dickweed. There isn't enough genetically modified DNA to change that.

Roadkill said...

I can't stand his politics, but I've always loved his movies. And not the so-called "early funny ones." His work from Annie Hall on was (is) exceptionally artistic.
All that said, I haven't seen one of his movies since he ran off with his daughter. Repulsive.

tim maguire said...

I have no problem with a person who openly pines for dictatorship hating on Republicans. Kind of a compliment, actually.

Carol said...

Huh, his shtick reminds me of Sandra Tsing Loh. Whatever. But he's right, in the absence of any active faith, life is a constant scary dance with contingency. Sartre said the thought of it all could only induce nausea.

William said...

Woody should be counted as a triumph for psychiatric counseling. Very few people would have the courage to marry their (kind of) stepdaughter and carry on with a career in the public light. I'm sure that without psychiatric counselling he would never have had the nerve to do this......If counselling had been available during the time of Oedipus, I'm sure a more satisfactory resolution could have been arranged--perhaps a threesome.

Laura said...

He doesn't have to be a vegetable. He can always push up daisies, or maybe dandelions, yeah, dandelions 'cuz their fluff blows away...

Popville said...

TMink said...

"Call any vegetable, call him by name."

Call any vegetable and the chances are good... that a vegetable will respond to you.

God bless you Frank Zappa.