May 1, 2012

Apple considers pee a "biohazard" and it will not accept a peed-on MacBook for repair.

Nor will it accept for repair the 30 MacBooks — valued at $36,000 — that one 11-year-old boy peed on at Upper Allen Township Elementary School in Pennsylvania.

100 comments:

sydney said...

Even Apple has to live by OSHA standards and OSHA considers urine a biohazard. I'm sure it's much easier to just refuse to handle the rare biohazard-tainted computer than to go through the annual OSHA biohazard training with Apple employees. (And also to risk the random OSHA inspections and get penalized because your workers can't recall the biohazard rules because they so rarely have to use them.)

bagoh20 said...

That's kind of stupid considering urine is sterile, and that any other MacBooks returned have been sneezed on, coughed on, and likely handled mid-masturbation on numerous occasions.

bagoh20 said...

I wonder how many MacBooks come in with photos of the user's O-face. The Mac repair shop could make a neat collage for the wall.

bagoh20 said...

Your body is in contact with pee inside and out 24/7.

Hey, it's mutual. I'm not that in the mood myself anymore, but if you still want to, I'll do it. I don't want it to end like this.

edutcher said...

Clearly, Apple does not employ people with small children.

Hilary Rosen will be outraged.

Hagar said...

It is policy -Federal at that - and does not have to make sense.

Icepick said...

I wonder how many MacBooks come in with photos of the user's O-face. The Mac repair shop could make a neat collage for the wall.

Okay, that's my belly laugh for the day! Thanks, bagoh, I needed that!

Expat(ish) said...

That was one busy boy. I have in mind that Calvin sticker you used to see on cars a lot with Calvin urinating.....

_XC

Curious George said...

What's their policy on dropping a deuce?

rcommal said...

Asses are biohazards, too! For the love of God, think of all the daycare workers, the nurses, the attendants who care for the incontinent elderly. Etc. There oughta be a law.

Curious George said...

"bagoh20 said...
I wonder how many MacBooks come in with photos of the user's O-face. The Mac repair shop could make a neat collage for the wall."

Also called vinegar strokes

Peter said...

I cannot believe there are no contractors willing to do restore the computers. Sure, it's a nasty job. But so is cleaning toilets in the school.

Even if urine got inside the computers, they can be cleaned with clean water and, once they are thoroughly dried out, re-assembled and used.

Then again, perhaps we've become so fragile we can't deal with dirt anymore.

J Scott said...

"Urine is sterile" is one of those canards that gets endlessly recycled.

Even allowing that it is sterile in the bladder, after it traverses your uretha it's sterility is largely dependent on how healthy you are.

traditionalguy said...

This is going to piss off Apple owners.

rcommal said...

I just told my 11-year-old son that if he ever peed on not just a MacBook, but any Apple product, I'd have him work off the replacement cost by opening up a neighborhood dog-shit pickup business.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, and all of that. ; )

Lem said...

Inspeerational

Lem said...

..uretha

Hve a little R E S P E C T will you?

bagoh20 said...

""Urine is sterile" is one of those canards that gets endlessly recycled."

OK, but still it's probably the most sterile thing that comes out of your body and sticks to your MacBook, which was my point. It's "relatively sterile", which would make a great T-Shirt.

Don't Tread 2012 said...

"For the crime of creating $36K in Apple biohazards, the boy in question was charged with institutional vandalism and criminal mischief."

This kid will never live this down.

He will forever be known among his friends as the Apple 'whiz kid'.

I don't blame Apple for refusing to service the contaminated units. I'll bet having the kid help with a cleanup would cure him of doing that again.

sleepless nights said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
prairie wind said...

I guess I'll just keep "my kid peed all over it" under my hat the next time I take something to the genius bar.

People who drop their iPhones in the john and then head off to the Apple store to get it fixed...they probably claim dish water or something. That's what I would do.

Don't Tread 2012 said...

When looking at this story through the lens of the Seinfeld 'toilet book' episode, these MacBooks definitely meet the level of being 'flagged'.

"...that any other MacBooks returned have been sneezed on, coughed on, and likely handled mid-masturbation on numerous occasions."

I think I just threw up in my mouth...

Erika said...

Not quite sure why elementary schoolers need $1200 laptops anyway, but whatever.

I may just be suffering residual bemusement from my fifth grader coming home from school and announcing the other day, "I got to help unpack the pallet of iPads today! And I got to play Angry Birds for a while!"

Mitchell said...

Having done that much damage the kid must piss battery acid.

prairie wind said...

Not quite sure why elementary schoolers need $1200 laptops anyway, but whatever.

Because schools look for ways to spend money, that's why. I work with plenty of computer experts who went to school long before personal computers were commonplace. They managed to learn about computers when they were adults.

MadisonMan said...

Exactly how do they tell it's damaged from urine vs. dirty water?

prairie wind said...

Psst...MadisonMan...if you tell them.

ndspinelli said...

JScott must have gotten a bad golden shower lately.

garage mahal said...

The Apple logo has long ties to Marxism, socialism, ....and Wisconsin!

Rusty said...

MadisonMan said...
Exactly how do they tell it's damaged from urine vs. dirty water?



As a kid did you ever pee on a hot radiator?
Smells like that.

MadisonMan said...

Psst...MadisonMan...if you tell them.

True. So why tell them?

Scott said...

I laughed at the metatag "urine." Then I clicked it. Althouse has 20 posts so tagged.

Is this an act of helpful taxonomic categorization, or a symptom of obsessive-compulsive disorder?

Urine the Althouse Vortex.

lemondog said...

Did not realize Upper Allen Township was so advanced, but it is to be expected that video game urinals are apt to cause some confusion in the young and unsophisticated.

Scott said...

(I know, I know, it's not a taxonomy. It just sounded good.)

David said...

Obama's in Kabul, warming up on the sidelines, getting ready to take the field on the one yard line, sneak in the end zone behind his massive linemen and SPIKE THE FUCKING BALL!

Just coincidence that it's on the one year anniversary of the day OBAMA KILLED BIN LADEN.

Film at 11.

Quaestor said...

bagoh20 wrote:
[I]t's probably the most sterile thing that comes out of your body and sticks to your MacBook, which was my point. It's "relatively sterile", which would make a great T-Shirt.

How about this?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Well, I sure hope that the people at Apple never have to touch actual money. THAT is one of the dirtiest items on Earth.

When I worked at a bank and had to pitch in as a teller, we always had hand sanitizer, handy wipes to use and even rubber gloves to handle some of the really nasty money. We washed our hands more often than Lady Macbeth.

On the other hand. This kid and his parents need to be fined or punished in some way. There is no excuse for what he did and he shouldn't be allowed to get away with deliberate vandalism. They should make him clean the school toilets for several years.

Alex said...

As usual garage has no sense of humor, all ideology all the time.

Alex said...

DBQ - any of that money had shit stains on it?

Dust Bunny Queen said...

DBQ - any of that money had shit stains on it?

Hard to say what that crap on the bills can be. Could be human, could be animal.

I had a piss drunk (literally) Indian come to my window and pull a wad of bills out of his urine soaked pants. Slapped the soaking pile of bills on the counter and wanted to get 50's. God knows where he got this pile of piss soaked bills....don't want to know....don't ask. He had a group of 4 other younger also drunk tribesmen waiting for him in the lobby. 10 am.....booze not just for breakfast!!

I just used the eraser end of two pencils; counted the money and gave him his 50's. Got the rubber gloves, put the bills in a plastic bag and sprayed my station with Lysol.

SOP.

Money is filthy in more than a figurative sense of the word.

Hoosier Daddy said...

Maybe the parents of the kid should be billed.

Palladian said...

Dust Bunny Queen said... "Money is filthy in more than a figurative sense of the word."



I don’t feel like I get germs when I hold money. Money has a certain kind of amnesty. I feel, when I’m holding money, that the dollar bill has no more germs on it than my hands do. When I pass my hand over money, it becomes perfectly clean to me. I don’t know where it’s been—who’s touched it and with what—but that’s all erased the moment I touch it.

Andy Warhol, from "The Philosophy of Andy Warhol"

Hoosier Daddy said...

"... Not quite sure why elementary schoolers need $1200 laptops anyway, but whatever..."

Good reason to raise property taxes.

KenK said...

Guess it pays to read the fine print on your service agreement.

Chip S. said...

Moises Alou is pissed.

Lem said...

I laughed at the metatag "urine." Then I clicked it. Althouse has 20 posts so tagged.

I notice our dog (who doesn't like Obama btw) dragging me to specific spots on our route and sniffing them for a bit. Then walking around he settles and while lifting his hind leg pees on the spot he was just sniffing.. which reminded me of our favorite rookie politician (law professor) Elisabeth Warren.. and her touted quotes.. listen towards the end.

But part of the underlying social contract is, you take a hunk of that and pay forward for the next kid who comes along.”... sort of like a Walker Ville that was taken over by the homeless which then reminded me of rh's very funny comment yesterday @8:34 AM.

That's where they vote to hit the guy on the head and take his stuff.

I hereby certify that the vortex is real and spectacular.... what?

Don't Tread 2012 said...

Moron holding up two fingers said

"Guess it pays to read the fine print on your service agreement."

If you have to look at the fine print to see if returning a computer that has been urinated on is acceptable, you must be a moron.

Chip S. said...

Yes, DToM, this is a serious issue. KenK was way out of line trying to make light of it.

MadisonMan said...

I agree that the kid's parents should be billed. You are responsible for what your kid does. How is peeing on them different from throwing them under the wheels of a bus? Or breaking a window?

Skyler said...

Bagoh20 made the ridiculous claim, a myth repeated by many, that urine is sterile.

Tell that to someone with a bladder infection.

James said...

Not quite sure why elementary schoolers need $1200 laptops anyway, but whatever.

Because school administrators, and teachers to some extent, have determined that students can't learn without MacBoooks, iPads, or SmartBoards.

Rob said...

36 computers? I deplore his vandalism but admire his capacity.

Chip S. said...

It's now pretty clear that if they can find people willing to repair urine-marinated macbooks at a reasonable price, school districts will be able to save a bundle by buying already-pissed-on used macs.

Heck, just train a couple of local high-schoolers who don't mind getting their hands dirty in the art of mac repair.

James said...

When I lived in Guyana in the mid-70's there was the first ever outbreak of "pink eye." One of the old wives tales circulating was that washing your eyes with your own urine cures the infection.

Quite a number of people discovered they had gonorrhea after rinsing their eyes.

Joe said...

Urine is as sterile as the glass you drink it in.

Paddy O said...

"Because school administrators, and teachers to some extent, have determined that students can't learn without MacBoooks, iPads, or SmartBoards."

My dad teaches literacy at a community school (think kids either on their way into or out of juvenile hall, where he also has taught at). The administrators got iPads for all the teachers at the school.

Their hard and fast rule in using them was that they were not allowed to use any apps on them. All the apps were going to be taken off by the IT folks and the teachers were not allowed to install any apps.

Lem said...

How is peeing on them different from throwing them under the wheels of a bus? Or breaking a window?

If only we could ask an expert.

chickenlittle said...

garage mahal said...
The Apple logo has long ties to Marxism, socialism, ....and Wisconsin!

You blew that one garage. You left out the nexus. People need things spelled out and spoonfed.

The Apple logo has long ties to the breakdown of authority, morals, sin, etc., which of course ties them to Marxism, socialism, ....and Wisconsin!

FTFY :)

Sigivald said...

prarie wind said: People who drop their iPhones in the john and then head off to the Apple store to get it fixed...they probably claim dish water or something. That's what I would do.

Well, since Apple replaces them if you have AppleCare*, rather than repairing it for you, it wouldn't matter for the customer.

It would presumably mean that they wouldn't refurbish it, though.

(* And if you don't, you're SOL for water damage or other "abuse".)

Methadras said...

Apple refuses to accept the newly improved product. :D

Robin said...

So much for the peeing hipsters.

themightypuck said...

Those laptops really tied the room together.

Peter said...

If urine really is a biohazard, there are a lot of people on You Porn who are facing serious health risks.

Chef Mojo said...

Was the kid a chinaman?

themightypuck said...

Most likely a nihilist?

Bruce Hayden said...

Can't get too worked up about this. Kid accidentally knocked coffee onto their 3 month old MacBook, and Apple declared it out of warranty. Don't see why urine would be any better.

Which is one reason that I carry both Apple Care and phone company insurance on my iPhone - Apple products seem to be a bit more fragile than much of their competition, and they seem to be fairly quick to disclaim responsibility when the user has any culpability.

You can, supposedly, limit the damage to a laptop after you have spilled a liquid on such, if you yank the battery out fast enough. BUT, Apple tends to make that impossible. But, this obviously wasn't the case here.

As you can tell, I am not an Apple fan, having dealt with them as an attorney. Never liked Jobs or his closed architectures. Esp. not Jobs. If you don't like their design choices, then tough - and I often don't, including such artificial limitations as one button mice and mono-colored iPhone telephone keys.

BTW - it appears to have been "piss" and not "pee". Males "piss", while females "pee". Or, at least when males stand up to urinate. Which is why "urine" is a much better term.

rcommal said...

Males "piss", while females "pee".

Not until they're out of elementary school, they don't, damn it! Jeez. Think of the children, and watch your language.

LOL.

Dr Weevil said...

As long as the boy was tried by a jury of his "peers" . . . .

rcommal said...

Though, honestly "drain his lizard" seems more on target than the other two words, in this case.

rcommal said...

Given that the decision to urinate all over a pile of electronics can only have come from the reptilian part of his brain, and all. ; )

RonF said...

If I was running this school the janitor would have just gotten a new bathroom cleaning assistant for the rest of the semester.

Public humiliation is far underutilized as a deterrent to bad behavior.

Penny said...

Cheer up, kid. When you're old enough and smart enough to land a spot on Jeopardy, this'll make the BEST worst story of introduction in the week it airs.

Penny said...

And no way did the school admins read the fine print on their Apple contract. They did a "Ewwwwwwwww!" and turned it into their insurance company, 'cause ya know, that's why WE PAY for their insurance, dammit.

The Apple fanboys who tracked down the facts should get all the credit for this amusing story.

EMD said...

Those laptops really tied the room together.

Epic.

Peter said...

Males "piss", while females "pee".

Males grab their best friends by the neck, while females bail out the canoe.

Insufficiently Sensitive said...

Apple's delicate snobs must never have been in the military, or even cleaned the family bathroom, let alone a latrine. Do they think that Mom will always be around to do the dirty work?

Lem said...

The laptops were the apple of the kids eye.

Lem said...

Looks like this pissing contest is running out of steam.

chickenlittle said...

The laptops were the apple of the kids eye.

His 3rd eye...

Lem said...

Cry baby..

Penny said...

"Looks like this pissing contest is running out of steam."

So didn't your momma teach you to "add more heat", Lem?

Penny said...

Ha ha

Course she didn't.

That was the chemistry teacher's job.

Penny said...

So on an "unofficial job" note...

I sorta count on you to bring us good tunes, Lem, and when you said "Cry baby"?

I got to wishing for some Garnet Mimms.

Car EYE EYE, baby!

Lem said...

Territorial Pissings..

Penny said...

OK..."Mostly" good tunes.

Lem said...

The kid is a King Cry Baby..

I dont about you but.. but I find something subversively elegant about the act.. cant quite put my finger on it.

Penny said...

"...cant quite put my finger on it."

No worries, honey.

But you do have nine more!

Penny said...

Cripes, I should have said "AND you have nine more".

Alan said...

"Apple considers pee a "biohazard" and it will not accept a peed-on MacBook for repair."

OWS hit hardest.

Valentine Smith said...

You mean urine ain't sterile? Shit, now I have to move the dishes when I pee.

Jim said...

Apple's policy is totally understandable. Handling some kid's dried-on pee is gross.

It's not like it was Steve Jobs' piss. *That* stuff was full of rainbows, unicorns and excellence.

Lem said...

Pee is not 'biohazard'.. unless its Kitty Kelly's.

gerry said...

What a bunch of wussies.

Carnifex said...

"There are three kinds of men. The one that learns by reading. The few who learn by observation. The rest of them have to pee on the electric fence for themselves."--Will Rogers.

$36,000.00 damage to Apple products. Whats that come out to, 2...3...MacBooks, tops.

TMink said...

Not only is pee sterile, it is actually antiseptic. The Maisai wash their face and hands with urine from their cows every morning.

Trey

Darrell said...

That must be why the Maisai are known for record health and longevity.
Wait....
Bacteria, fungi, and viruses. If you want to play with it, stick with your own because you already have all those nasties anyway.

TMink said...

Hey Darrell, any antiseptic in a storm!!!!

Trey

rcommal said...

Then there are the ones who do it in a different way, in some combination thereof. WTF? Methinks that even Rogers, whom I admire in many though not all ways (FTR), could not bring himself to allow for in others the very thing that he claimed for himself--and then, of course, turned into a franchise, bless him.

rcommal said...

Let's never forget that Will Rogers made his living and ultimate fame by co-opting the wisdom *from* others. Surely you guys all know that, right?

rcommal said...

Also, Rogers had actual, more direct claim to Cherokee nation[hood]--unlike, for example, Elizabeth Warren. Yeah. But. Still. Even then.

Whatever.