January 18, 2012

Are you from Texas?

74 comments:

shiloh said...

IIRC, El Paso to Dallas, 600+ miles, straight, flat and occasional cactus alongside the road ...

And I'll refrain from my TX jokes.

edutcher said...

Thanks for showing that. I'm working on something and I need an idea of what the countryside looks like in that part of TX, even though I'm more interested in the Staked Plains than the Panhandle.

And, yes, that would make Ann a Texan, although thinking that deep is above Barry's pay grade.

ricpic said...

Empty empty empty
Makes you go forward forward forward
To the horizon.

And for God's sake
Where's the where's the where's the
Water?

john said...

That's why Texans flock to Ruidoso NM.

A haven for the altitudinally deprived.

Penny said...

Not from Texas, since you asked.

But if I was riding through Texas like you and Meade?

Just might prefer to see "Those stars at night, so big and bright."

chickenlittle said...

Miles and miles of Texas, Meade. I'm glad you're chowing--no time to fall asleep at the wheel.

MadisonMan said...

Were there any Texans on American Idol tonight (I forgot to watch).

roadgeek said...

I've driven US 287, from Port Arthur, Texas to Choteau, Montana, and all in one stretch. The Panhandle stretch is ....well, let's just say the land has a very subtle beauty.

I hope you enjoyed your visit to Texas, and hope you are able to return soon.

Penny said...

And I just might want to travel...alone.

Lyle said...

I'm domiciled in Texas.

@John,

Yes, I used to live on the South Plains and places like Cloudcroft, Ruidoso, Taos, and were great places to escape the flatness.

MadisonMan said...

And IIRC, from my time in Louisiana, it's 900+ miles on I-10 from the Louisiana/Texas border to El Paso. Wouldn't want to drive that. IL from north to south is bad enough.

Lyle said...

... and other mountainous towns

I meant to say

New Mexico is wonderful.

Anga2010 said...

I'm from Texas and I'll tell you that it's the only state that you can drive thru Duma(s)s and Lampa(s)ses in the same day!

William said...

Car insurance must be very cheap in Texas.

traditionalguy said...

Texas expects neighborliness. If you get into trouble way out on the road, it is a long way to anywhere, unless someone stops and helps you.

And always carrying a pistol or rifle that far from everything is easy to understand too.

Ann said...

You never ask people where they're from. If they're from Texas, they'll tell you, and if they're not . . . well, why embarrass them?

Lawyer Mom said...

Love you, A, but that was down rat TMI.

Anga2010 said...

And, just btw..
"That's right your'e not from Texas but Texas wants you anyway."

glenn said...

Yes. Proud of it. Thanks for asking.

Paul said...

Ah heck man, that is just an itty-bitty part of Texas.

There is LOTS of Texas!

madAsHell said...

I lived in Tyler, Texas for a few years. They wondered why I didn't wear boots.

I had to leave Texas.

I'm much more comfortable being a right wing nut job in.......Seattle!

craig said...

Anga2010 beat me to it, but I've got a link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nMhaehb5AnE

Quaestor said...

shiloh wrote:
And I'll refrain from my TX jokes.

When did you acquire a reputation for making jokes?

glenn said...

I'm a transplant. Texas to California. Had a great working life in a factory (don't have very many left). Our traffic manager went to Texas to a business conference and came back raving about how polite people were in Texas. I had one fellow Texan co-worker, I said "Hey Jay, how come people in Texas are so polite?" Jay didn't miss a stroke, "Cause if you are rude to somebody in Texas they knock you flat on your a**" And more power to them.

shiloh said...

Quaestor, this thread is about TX, not about me, but thanx for the shout out ...

jacksonjay said...

Grew up bout 25 miles east of there! Borger!

Titus said...

God it looks totally awful there.

tits.

Med said...

William said: "Car insurance must be very cheap in Texas."

Actually one of our winter Texans (from Minnesota) told me just yesterday that car insurance in Texas is twice as expensive as at home. I'm guessing it's due to our proximity to Mexico where many stolen vehicles tend to congregate.

Penny said...

OK, so I really wouldn't prefer to travel "alone" alone.

But when you look UP, at the expanse and beauty of an unencumbered night sky in Texas ... idle chit chat just feels...?

Not wrong, of course. Just extraneous.

Craig said...

I used to drive that part of Texas with my left foot out the window on the hood. I moved to Texas so my dad could be a professor. I left when he got tired of being a professor. I could have stayed, but decided against it.

My great great grandfather arrived in Texas during the Civil War. He got sick the day after he got off the boat and had to be hospitalized. He was sent to Missouri where he died six weeks later. Texas didn't agree with him, but it didn't make him sick. He contracted his yellow fever in an Alabama swamp outside of Mobile.

I didn't learn about my great great grandfather's visit to Texas until thirty years after I moved away. I knew that my great grandfather arrived in Wisconsin as an infant. He would have been conceived in East Brandenburg and born in Wisconsin if his parents had sailed in 1855 with the rest of the family, but his mother was pregnant, so his parents waited a year until after he was born. They sailed in 1856.

I know about it now because a West German chemical engineer whose mother was East German has cousins who lived in Juda, Wisconsin when my dad was born there in 1927. Juda is close to Monroe and not far from Madison. The chemical engineer's cousins still live in Juda. Their pastor during Prohibition was my grandfather.

Albatross said...

Also, you can't get the hell out of Texas.

No matter how hard you try.

rtsquard said...

Nice driving Meade? One hand holding lunch and the other hand unwrapping it while holding the steering wheel are the...thighs?

Penny said...

After listening to that song?

Why the hell would I even hit the highway until tomorrow?

Penny said...

And tomorrow night, at that!

Anga2010 said...

Albatros and Craig...
YAY!

Sorun said...

I spent a night in Dumas last winter. It smells like piss, right? Cattle piss, horse piss, who knows? But piss. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Col Mustard said...

Ding Dong Daddy from Dumas!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S99Fokasa2Y&feature=related

About the most polite people in the world; those Texans. You don't want to mess with them, though.

The country around Dumas is probably what the rest of the world would look like after a big nuke throwdown.

I kinda like the Big Ride on I-10. Eats at Chuy's (RIP) in Van Horn a must.

KT said...

As a Texan (from Dallas suburbs) who just drove through Dumas recently, I really appreciate you not mentioning the smell. But I will say that as bad as the drive is from Amarillo to Raton, I'll take the Texas side any day. And speaking of guns, there's reciprocity all the way through to Colorado, so I can keep that part of my "Texan" heritage with me.

Chip Ahoy said...

A Texas rancher is driving his truck down the highway when he notices a hitchhiker and stops to pick him up.

"Need a lift?"

"Sí. Sí, señor. Muchas gracias. Muchas gracias." The hitchhiker is Mexican and does not speak English.

"So where 'ya going?"

"Me voy a México." The hitchhiker deduces the question accurately and answers it.

The rancher recognizes the word "Mexico" in the hitchhiker's response.

"That's great, I'm going that way. I can take you seventy-five miles. Throw your bag in the back and hop on."

* pauses in a moment of massive confusion *

"No. No, señor. No voy a Japon me voy a México!"

KT said...

Oh, and the tumbleweeds and pronghorns are still a fun sight. I saw a tumbleweed the size of a full grown crape myrtle!

Penny said...

Althouse? I know you have contractual responsibilities with the university that you need to meet, and believe me when I say that I admire you for taking that seriously.

Just suggesting it might be more fun for you when you move beyond signing a union contract.

Penny said...

You like fashion.

And I'm suggesting this...

There's a difference between someone admiring the "scarf" on that woman, and admiring the woman who can wear that "scarf" well.

Chanie said...

Not from Texas, and not in Texas currently (far further north and missing the mild winters right now), but your post reminds me of a bumper sticker I'd often see down there: "I wasn't born in Texas, but I got here as fast as I could."

Chanie said...

haha nevermind. didn't watch the video until after i posted. great minds?

Chip Ahoy said...

My brother lives in Texas. I must make a card for him to compensate for missing his birthday.

Pop-up card idea.

Picture it:

The cover is a bowl filled with eggs except the eggs are ordinary objects that are oval shaped and not eggs. Scale is irrelevant; jelly beans, VW bug, mango, serving platter, Milky Way galaxy.The text reads

Of all of the ovate things in all of God's creation

Inside is a short-legged table in the shape of human hand. When the card opens the elevated hand opens with it as if it were an inserted card. Two oval objects are placed on the hand and displayed as the card and the hand open together; a raisin and a bean. The text reads,

Thou are the raisin for my very bean.

Penny said...

And what the heck are you doing with a scarf around your neck in Texas anyway?

Nevermind...lol

It's "Althouse"!

"We ask; you answer."...apparently.

Carnifex said...

I don't know, is that any worse than driving from Chicago to St. Louis? All there is to see is corn. Acre after acre, mile after mile. It's like the extended version of driving through Indiana.

East Colorado is pretty flat too(referring to tits and Titus)

The badlands of SD, BIG SKY Country, you never realize what it means till you actually see it.

You want scenery, go to Arizona. You got the Grand Canyon, Bryce Canyon, and Zion Canyon all within hours of each other. The astrobleme that was in the finale of "Starman" is in Arizona too. Very cool.

Penny said...

"Thou are the raisin for my very bean."

Chip... talkin' sugar between his pop-ups?

Penny said...

Yee ha!

One night in the lone star state!

Quaestor said...

Titus wrote:
God it looks totally awful there.

I'm not surprised by your horror of the place, Titus. It's a long haul between gay-friendly vegan brasseries.

Here's how to get over it:
1 Adopt a normal diurnal mammalian circadian rhythm. In Texas the day is bright and the nights are darkish to pitch black. Texans tend to work under the natural light of that nearby yellow-orange G-type star up there, and sleep when said star is below the horizon. Folks in your neck of the woods tend to get sleep cycles confused.
2 Heed Nature's call in the dietary department. Ma Gaia's been a-building a truly efficient predator in our genus for 3 million years, give or take. Follow a Texan around for a week or two. Eat what he eats; drink what he drinks. You may develop a bit of a beer gut, but you'll feel better about yourself. You'll stop worrying about the profit sharing plan behind your favorite free trade coffee and whether your whole-grain tortellini contains albumen.
3 Get in contact with the planet -- literally. Loose the Mezlan Cuomo pumps and buy yourself a pair of Herman Survivors, preferably with the steel toecaps. Then with feet laced firmly into said boots (with a pair of Gander Mountain insulated socks in between) go find some soil to walk on. Texans know about the existence of surfaces like asphalt pavement and Anatoli Efros parquet, but they tend to eschew it in favor of prairie sod.
4 No more show tunes. Ever. Box up every Judy Garland CD you own, remembering to off-load her playlist from your iPod onto an SD card and put that in the box as well, and ship the whole shebang to your no-account brother-in-law in Youngstown, Ohio for safe keeping. Replace with a nice selection of Country and Western female vocalists. Mention Miranda Lambert to a Texan and salty tears will well up in the corners of his wind-creased eyes. Mention Jerome Kern and he'll just stare at you.
5 Acquire a sprinkling of knowledge about animal husbandry. If you when and how to drop terms like navicular disease and Trypanosomiasis control into the conversation down at Antonio's bar and grill, you find your Texan will listen politely to your explanation of the superiority of the Mediterranean diet.

Follow this simple guideline and the your debilitating case of Texophobia will go into remission. Who knows, you may even meet a symaptico cowhand with the kind of tightly muscled glutes one can only get from a lifetime in the saddle.

Penny said...

And Althouse...

Rushing back to Wisconsin to meet her contractual obligation to UW.

Penny said...

What a grape!

mesquito said...

If you had shifted your route about 50 miles to the east it would have been much prettier.

Nancy said...

Ann, I live in the D/FW area and have taken that drive a lot lately. I don't know if you noticed the sign--"Dumas--Home of the Ding Dong Daddies, 14,XXX friendly folks and a few old soreheads!"

I think the Ding Dong Daddies were an early to mid-20th century band that had some popularity in the region. They were Dumas's claim to fame.

It's a long drive from Amarillo to Texline, isn't it?

kristinintexas said...

You never ask people where they're from. If they're from Texas, they'll tell you, and if they're not . . . well, why embarrass them?

Ann, that was great! I'm not from Texas, but I've been here about 2.5 years. Haven't heard that one yet though. Love it.

Astro said...

Similar to a saying that I know has been around for at least 40 years: Northerner by birth, Southerner by the grace of God.

Evil Otto said...

Chris Rea

"Texas"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GMk208Op1Jc

Warm winds blowing
Heating blue sky
And a road that goes forever
Been thinking 'bout it lately
Been watching some TV
Been looking all around me
At what has come to be
Been talking to my neighbor
And he agrees with me
It's all gone crazy

Well my wife returns from taking
My little girl to school
She's got beads of perspiration
As she tries to keep her cool
She says that mess it don't get no better
There's gonna come a day Someone's gonna get killed out there
And I turn to her and say Texas
She says what?
I said Texas
She says what?
They've got big long roads out there

Hagar said...

If the Good Lord had wanted Texans to ski, he would have built them a mountain and made bullshit white!

Hagar said...

I think it was Phil Sheridan who said that if he owned both Hell and Texas, he would live in Hell and rent out Texas!

That said, after visiting back east, it is very nice to get back to the Big Country, even if it is only passing through on the way home to the Land of Enchantment.
At least one can breathe without pulling in a lungful of corn pollen, and there are no trees to spoil the view and give you that claustrophobic feeling!

Keystone said...

Texas has the best roads in the U.S. Even minor roads have paved shoulders and the curves are constant radius.

dreams said...

That is what Rand Paul's very pretty KY wife said about Rand Paul. While speaking to Owenboro women club during his senate campain, she said Rand isn't from KY but she got him to KY as soon as she could.

DADvocate said...

In 1978, I rode my motorcycle from Knoxville to San Francisco and back. I went through Texas. On the way out, I dropped down to San Antonio to visit a friend in the Air Force and from there to El Paso to visit an aunt and uncle.

The ride from San Antonio to El Paso was the worst day of the trip. The ride from Hot Springs, AR to San Antonio the second worst day. Desolate, flat landscapes when not in a city. Hot and dry. Worse than the Mojave Desert. Can't understand why Sam Houston and Davy Crocket thought it was worth fighting for.

Henry said...

Reminds me of Lyle Lovett: That's Right, You're Not from Texas.

Texas wants you anyway.

Scott M said...

No, I'm not. But Rick Perry is and apparently that's where he going. He's out of the race.

D. B. Light said...

So, Althouse and Meade drive down to Texas. The next day Gov. Perry announces he's out of the race. Coincidence? I don't think so!

J.R. said...

It is pronounced doo-mus, not due-mus. And Dumas doesn't smell bad compared to Cactus a few miles to the north. Nothing like a beef plant to ruin the ambiance.

sonicfrog said...

IIRC, El Paso to Dallas, 600+ miles, straight, flat and occasional cactus alongside the road ...

Yep! Driven it a few times. It is the most desolate road I've ever driven. Goes on forever! The nothingness could drive you mad!

sonicfrog said...

PS. Raised in Dallas, but moved to California with the family in 78.

Hagar said...

Wuzzy flatlanders!

Will said...

The last exit on I-10 before leaving Texas for Louisiana is 880. If Wikipedia is to be believed I-10 in Texas is the longest continuous stretch of free highway under a single authority in North America.
I've never driven it, but I think I'd like to sometime.
As for US 287, I've driven it a few times on trips from Colorado Springs to southern Louisiana. It reminds me of Buzz Aldrin's description of the moon as "magnificent desolation." There's a stark beauty to north Texas that I just love. The only real problem I have with it is the blast-furnace hot wind during the summer. That's rough -- and it never seems to let up.

Scott M said...

If Wikipedia is to be believed I-10 in Texas is the longest continuous stretch of free highway under a single authority in North America.

Professionally speaking, I've always understood I-80 to be longer, second only to I-90.

Will said...

I-10 is the fourth longest interstate overall, but the 880 miles owned by TxDOT is the longest stretch within just one state (or province).

MathMom said...

My Dad used to say, when we were driving that stretch of road: "The sun has riz, and the sun has set, and we ain't out of Texas yet!"

West Texas is an armpit, no doubt. But one Spring it had been unusually rainy, and we drove old Highway 90 for hours, through purple sage blossoms as far as the eye could see. Magnificent memory.

Jim Howard said...

I'm a 5th generation Texan and proud of it.

For 20 years I had the opportunity to live for extended periods all over the world (Korea, England, Japan, California, Philippines, Idaho, Virgina and some others).

Each was nice in its own way, but when I decided I didn't want to study war no 'mo I moved back to Austin.

Google doesn't have enough server space to list all the great things about living in Texas, but the thing I like the best is the freedom we have.

I'm pretty sure Texas is about the most free place in the world to live. Even Austin, ruled by old hippies, Californians and corrupt lawyers, is pretty free.

Our Professor's video reminded me of some lines from the previously mentioned Lyle Lovette song 'That's right, you're not from Texas':

See I was born and raised in Texas
And it means so much to me
Though my girl comes from down in Georgia. We were up in Tennessee

And as we were driving down the highway

She asked me baby what's so great
How come you're always going on
About your Lone Star State

I said that's right you're not from Texas
That's right you're not from Texas
That's right you're not from Texas
But Texas wants you anyway

Oh the road it looked so lovely
As she stood there on the side
And she grew smaller in my mirror
As I watched her wave goodbye