April 6, 2011

Like "watching a traffic pile-up occur in slow motion - repelling but also transfixing."

That's a description of the John Edwards sex tape, quoted in an article that also says Edwards is "absolutely despondent over the fear of prison" and has lost 20 pounds.

64 comments:

madawaskan said...

Man you aren't going to quote the threat, just allude to it via tag?

chickelit said...

madawaskan said...
Man you aren't going to quote the threat, just allude to it via tag?

Please don't link to the video...

madawaskan said...

chickenlittle

LOL!

Imagine that grand jury...

Placeholder said...

I've heard that Mr. Edwards is, um, uh, let's say that the tape will display no shortcomings.

Crimso said...

Any word on how great his hair (on his head, mind you) looks on the video?

edutcher said...

Somebody better tell him the first rule in prison for somebody whose nickname is Silky Pony is don't bend over.

DADvocate said...

Edwards is a most unlikable figure. He easily surpasses Obama in narcissism.

fivewheels said...

Threat? He's a lawyer trying to poison the jury pool into thinking "he's suffered enough already." Don't fall for that, he feels no legitimate remorse. If he had any human feelings other than selfishness none of this would have happened in the first place.

Freeman Hunt said...

It would be white collar prison. Hardly some rape haven terror house. Is Edwards afraid of being jumped by a tax cheat CPA and a number fudging salesman?

I think he'll live.

Placeholder said...

I think his cellie ought to be Tom Delay. They can fight for top.

Freeman Hunt said...

"Like "watching a traffic pile-up occur in slow motion - repelling but also transfixing."

This quote taken with its reference produced the mental image of cars crashing into car-sized private parts in slow motion.

Freeman Hunt said...

"Oh my gawd, rhy-ELL! I might hafta play raquetbawl with sum middle manuhgment nobody! Jus kill meh now!"

madawaskan said...

and a number fudging salesman?

I don't know if he's exactly scared of *number* fudging...

chickelit said...

Placeholder said...
I've heard that Mr. Edwards is, um, uh, let's say that the tape will display no shortcomings.

I'm glad you know and care. How much do male porn stars make? Could this be a second or third career for Edwards?

David said...

Now Edwards fears for the future of his family.

A second source told the Enquirer: 'John isn't hiding the fact that he's terrified of going to prison, but he's also extremely distraught about what will happen to his children.


The guy was a manipulative fake and is continuing his MO.

chickelit said...

Maybe John Edwards could "hang" a little with Charlie Sheen and pick up some "pointers".

Placeholder said...

This quote taken with its reference produced the mental image of cars crashing into car-sized private parts in slow motion.

Apparently, Mr. Edwards's relevant area has been compared to a Dodge Viper, but without the wheels.

I'm not sure about the racing stripe, but I've read that people see the tape and say, "Whoa! Dude!"

Freeman Hunt said...

Apparently, Mr. Edwards's relevant area has been compared to a Dodge Viper, but without the wheels.

It's shaped like a car?

chickelit said...

Palceholder said:
Apparently, Mr. Edwards's relevant area has been compared to a Dodge Viper, but without the wheels.

That nails it. I think placeholder bats for the other team. NTTAWWT

Placeholder said...

It's shaped like a car?

Other way 'round!

William said...

Every bad thing said about him is true. And maybe even this story of suicide contemplation is a calculated attempt to manipulate the sentiment of the jury pool. That said, let the punishment fit the crime. He's a vanquished man, and I would not rejoice in further punishment beyond a stiff fine and maybe disbarment.....I always though Clinton would be the first political figure to have a leaked sex tape.

Placeholder said...

That nails it. I think placeholder bats for the other team. NTTAWWT

What, me drive a Chrysler?!

Seriously, though, when I first read about it on Gawker, I couldn't stop laughing. I wondered whether he hired a p.r. person to plant the rumor.

Freeman Hunt said...

Other way 'round!

Somehow a car shape is involved.

Had the person comparing it to a Dodge Viper ever seen one of those parts before? (Flashbacks to bags of sand in The 40 Year Old Virgin.)

Pogo said...

In his trial, he should take the stand and channel his dead wife, asking for mercy.

Well, it worked when he was suing obstetricians.

Placeholder said...

I hope people do realize that Edwards was born in South Carolina. Remember? In case you don't recall, I think I will refresh your memory.

I have no idea about Mr. Sanford's, well, you know. But take a look at the size of that hand, will ya?

Politicians are occupationally horny. All of 'em.

Palladian said...

"In his trial, he should take the stand and channel his dead wife, asking for mercy."

Yeah, isn't Edwards some sort of 'psychic'?

Harry said...

Freeman Hunt said... It would be white collar prison. Hardly some rape haven terror house.

Do you think there is such a thing as a "white collar prison"? Granted there are minimum-security prisons, but they too are full of people you really don't want to be around.

MrBuddwing said...

When I'd heard the reports (rumors?) that Edwards had promised Rielle Hunter a rooftop wedding complete with the Dave Matthews Band once Elizabeth was dead and gone, I found myself perversely admiring Edwards for giving his cancer-stricken wife a reason to keep on living as long as she could.

WV: troov

Placeholder said...

When I'd heard the reports (rumors?) that Edwards had promised Rielle Hunter a rooftop wedding complete with the Dave Matthews Band once Elizabeth was dead and gone, I found myself perversely admiring Edwards for giving his cancer-stricken wife a reason to keep on living as long as she could.

What did Gingrich promise his bimbo when he dumped his wife while she lay in a hospital bed with cancer?

Maguro said...

Placeholder, you sound like a former Edwards supporter. So to speak.

The Grand Inquisitor said...

"What did Gingrich promise his bimbo when he dumped his wife while she lay in a hospital bed with cancer?"

I don't get it. Is this some kind of 'the GOP does it too' argument?

Can't we consider the mistakes John Edwards makes without this implicating your political views that much?

Sure, Newt has also made some terrible mistakes, if this is just a contest of judging bad people to you, but I think John Edwards's story is a lot darker. That's probably just because we know more of the sordid details, but it's worth thinking about this flawed guy on his own, rather than a piece of a political game.

Freeman Hunt said...

He'll have to try for one of these.

Placeholder said...

I don't get it. Is this some kind of 'the GOP does it too' argument?

Yes, that's exactly what it is.

Placeholder, you sound like a former Edwards supporter. So to speak.

It's not true. I liked his speeches, but he always seemed too slick.

Newt has also made some terrible mistakes, if this is just a contest of judging bad people to you, but I think John Edwards's story is a lot darker.

I think they are close to mirror images as mirror images get. I shared Edwards's politics and loathed Gingrich's politics, but when it came to their sex romps, I consider them indistinguishable.

Your belief that Edwards's story "is a lot darker" is completely a function of your being a knee-jerk wingnut who overlooks your hero's misconduct while excoriating the other guy's.

Me, well, I think they're both pigs. Somehow I sensed it with Edwards without really knowing why. Gingrich surprised me a bit, mainly because he has always looked like something that lives under a bridge.

It never occurred to me that he was a player. I just thought he was a garden variety Republican asshole, and that was enough. But if you're going to get your panties in a twist over Edwards, then Gingrich and the other Republican pigs are fair game.

Freeman Hunt said...

Was anyone singing the praises of Gingrich?

No amount of Gingrich skankiness can un-skank John Edwards.

MrBuddwing said...

But if you're going to get your panties in a twist over Edwards, then Gingrich and the other Republican pigs are fair game.

As an Obama voter, I was sympathizing with Elizabeth Edwards, not slamming Democrats in general or John Edwards in particular.

Hmm. Strike that. I was slamming John Edwards in particular.

WV: uperpa

PETER V. BELLA said...

No pity. No mercy.

Placeholder said...

No amount of Gingrich skankiness can un-skank John Edwards.

That I agree with. But every time any wingnut goes down the Edwards trail, I always remind of their star players. Fair's fair. I have a single standard, as opposed to the wingers who want to pretend that Edwards was somehow darker 'n stormier than the dark 'n stormy Republipigs.

Chuck66 said...

A) As much as I like him, I would never support Gringrich for higher office due to his character flaws.

B) I do constantly remind my liberal friends that they had Kerry-EDWARDS bumper stickers on theirs for 4 years (to protest President Bush). They seem a little sheepish about it now.

MrBuddwing said...

I have a single standard, as opposed to the wingers who want to pretend that Edwards was somehow darker 'n stormier than the dark 'n stormy Republipigs.

As a self-styled centrist, I would agree with you, so it's kind of ironic that it was my posting that set you off. Am I obligated to bring up Newt Gingrich's, uh, indiscretions every time I bring up one of Edwards'? Must every critical comment about a Democrat be immediately matched with one about a Republican, and vice versa?

And do you get equally upset by slams against Republicans that are not immediately matched with ones against Democrats?

WV: knopp

Chuck66 said...

To follow up....Edwards said to his whore in California:

"Don't worry. She'll be dead pretty soon". Speaking about his dying wife back in SC.

Placeholder said...

By the way, in case you haven't noticed, I have a nice, wide cynical streak about all politics. It wouldn't surprise me (although it would amuse the hell out of me) if Edwards actually hired someone to let the gossip rags know that he's hung like a donkey. Helps with the nascar vote.

A little far fetched when you think about it, but when it comes to national politics or the people who play it or who "report" on it, I don't think very much of anything is ever left to chance.

Placeholder said...

Am I obligated to bring up Newt Gingrich's, uh, indiscretions every time I bring up one of Edwards'?

I'm doing it for you. You're welcome.

Must every critical comment about a Democrat be immediately matched with one about a Republican, and vice versa?

"Every?" I don't think so. That implies a symmetry that doesn't exist. But when it comes to sex scandals, yes.

And do you get equally upset by slams against Republicans that are not immediately matched with ones against Democrats?

Let me answer it this way: I didn't last real long at the Daily Kos.

MrBuddwing said...

Let me answer it this way: I didn't last real long at the Daily Kos.

Do your diaries still exist? I'd like to read the ones in which you say, in so many words, "Here, now! How dare you mock a Republican without immediately and equally mocking a Democrat!"

WV: uropart

Placeholder said...

Do your diaries still exist? I'd like to read the ones in which you say, in so many words, "Here, now! How dare you mock a Republican without immediately and equally mocking a Democrat!"

If they do, I couldn't point you to them. They "Hide Rate" stuff they don't like, so I never bothered to save the sign-on name. I was too critical of the Democrats for them. They require people to be cheerleaders.

Fen said...

What did Gingrich promise his bimbo when he dumped his wife while she lay in a hospital bed with cancer?

Bullshit. Gingrich had already left her. He visited her in the hospital to get the divorce papers signed.

Fen said...

Libtard: I have a single standard, as opposed to the wingers

More bullshit. Your "standard" is to hide behind false equivalency and Tu Quoque fallacy because you refuse to condemn a Democrat without the "but both sides do it" disqualifier.

ie. your "standard" is the LCD of whatever you pretend the other side has done.

You have zero integrity.

Placeholder said...

Bullshit. Gingrich had already left her. He visited her in the hospital to get the divorce papers signed.

Oh. I see. Gee, I guess he wasn't such a stinkin' piece of a shit after all.

traditionalguy said...

I don't get the Edwards hatred. What has Edwards done that JFK didn't do everyday? Jack just got shot before he could get caught. John Edwards and John Kennedy were both valiant men who hated to see women have to go to bed alone. Did anyone see the Kennedys on cable Sunday night?

Placeholder said...

John Edwards and John Kennedy were both valiant men who hated to see women have to go to bed alone.

Yes, but at least Craig Vitter saw to it that the women didn't go to bed alone, but were paid for it. But don't ever say that all Democrats are cheapskates, 'cause Elliot Spitzer paid for it too.

MrBuddwing said...

John Edwards and John Kennedy were both valiant men who hated to see women have to go to bed alone.

I'll have to remember that one ...

WV: preessa

Fen said...

Libtard: Gee, I guess he wasn't such a stinkin' piece of a shit after all.

You would prefer he waited until she was no longer dying of cancer.

No, you just want to talk about something other than what a POS Edwards is.

Placeholder said...

You would prefer he waited until she was no longer dying of cancer.

I believe the Cancer Lady was his second wife, and that he'd met #3 on the sly. Or was Cancer Lady #1 and bimbo the #2 wife? He's had so many, not counting the temporary wives.

Soooooooooooooowee!

JAL said...

but they too are full of people you really don't want to be around.

Disbarred lawyers, crooked CPAs and Bernie Madoff?

wv houglogg

Geoff Matthews said...

If he does go to prison, it will be minimum security, where there will be mainly non-violent offenders. The club Fed type prison.

Which is appropriate. I could see him plea-bargaining to where he surrenders his license to practice law, like President Clinton did. But I don't think he'll serve prison time. After all, he is a democrat.

Fen said...

Libtard: I believe the Cancer Lady was his second wife, and that he'd met #3 on the sly. Or was Cancer Lady #1 and bimbo the #2 wife?

ie. you don't really know what you're talking about. You just want to distract from John and Elizabeth dishonestly using her cancer to prop up his candidacy.

JAL said...

That I agree with. But every time any wingnut goes down the Edwards trail, I always remind of their star players.

Right. It's exactly the same.

Edwards was VP candidate. Edwards was trying to get people to vote for him so he could be president while his wife had cancer and he was sleeping with and impregnating the photographer.

And his staff was lying through their teeth and the legacy (what a legacy!!) media was covering his ass. (I never did see what Larry Lessig ended up saying about it all.)

Meanwhile I would not vote for Gingrich because of his personal life. He is a smart guy and has some good ideas. But not worthy of my vote.

wv downa
Opposite of uppa

Placeholder said...

Edwards was VP candidate. Edwards was trying to get people to vote for him so he could be president while his wife had cancer and he was sleeping with and impregnating the photographer.

Soooooooooweeee!

I would not vote for Gingrich because of his personal life.

Soooooooooweeee!

Revenant said...

That's a description of the John Edwards sex tape, quoted in an article that also says Edwards is "absolutely despondent over the fear of prison" and has lost 20 pounds.

I'm having trouble enumerating all of the ways in which I do not give a shit about anything in that sentence. I'm even kind of indifferent about "a" and "the".

EnigmatiCore said...

""Like "watching a traffic pile-up occur in slow motion""

She was rear-ending him?

EnigmatiCore said...

"Your belief that Edwards's story "is a lot darker""

As someone who couldn't give a flip about Gingrich or Edwards, excepting for the fact that both were and remain complete phonies, let me say there is no comparison. Edwards' is a lot darker. Significantly.

* He and his wife made their idyllic marriage a centerpiece of a Presidential run, while his crap was going down
* He had a campaign aide claim paternity in an attempt to defraud voters
* His campaign was using every chit they had with the media- and they had plenty- to keep the truth hidden from the public
* He apparently violated campaign finance laws in order to try to pay off his lover

Gingrich- reprehensible phony.
Edwards- an even more reprehensible and likely criminal phony.

Sixty Grit said...

My neighbor, John Edwards, is suicidal. Let me know if there is anything I can do to assist you, John, anything at all...

Phil 3:14 said...

According to the Enquirer, a close source said: 'I think John is suicidal.

And the Enquirer will have the scoop as soon as it happens..


with pictures!

William said...

I thought the most pathology was shown not in his relationship with his wife but with his syncophant. What sort man asks another to take the fall for his illegitimate child or, for that matter, what sort of man takes the fall? Edwards, his friends, his lovers seem like a strange group. This is a level of phoniness and manipulation that is beyond the moral imagination of must men.

walter said...

Fortunately Teddy set the standard so low that Edwards, Gingrich and Clinton look relatively clean. And hey..no jail time there..just a slight change in trajectory.