June 17, 2010

"The man drove up to a Hell's Angels clubhouse near Munich, wearing only a pair of shorts and carrying a puppy."

"He dropped his shorts and threw the dog, escaping on a bulldozer from a nearby building site."

The news from Europe, as reported by the BBC.

39 comments:

danielle said...

i'm sure it was the shorts that gave away the crazy.

traditionalguy said...

What can you say about this story? Did this guy become so enamored of Obama that he automatically acted out Obama dealing with Iran as the Hells Angels? Is this action a prophecy that Obama plans for a harmless attack from Israel to be sent at Iran and then he will run for the hills leaving the Israelis to deal with a war of survival in which Obama can then extort them by offering to send military re-supply only if the UN is allowed to internationalise Jerusalem. And why would Althouse see a bloggable event in this out of his mind actions? Was it only his wearing shorts?

danielle said...

... i think she was trying to lure all the wing nuts to reveal their crazy in all the ways they try to link this to Obama.

Well done TG.

traditionalguy said...

Thanks. That was not easy, Danielle. Wing-nut speech is an art form when it is done right.

The Crack Emcee said...

I, too, may need anti-depression medication.

I don't want to take 'em though, because the last time, I got seriously suicidal.

XWL said...

On The Adam Carolla Show there's a regular bit they do of "Florida or Germany" where a whacky news story such as this (leaving out details that would make it obvious, such as mentioning Munich in this story) is described, and then you guess whether it happened in Florida or Germany.

Had this event been described, I would have definitely gone Florida, between the bulldozer, man in shorts, schizophrenic off meds, and Hell's Angels, sounds very just outside of Tallahassee to me.

kent said...

i'm sure it was the shorts that gave away the crazy.

At least he still retained just enough presence of mind not to allow the puppy behind the wheel. Now, that would have been crazy.

Penny said...

There are way worse states than "nearly suicidal", Crack.

Can you imagine people who live their whole lives PISSED? I mean "angry" pissed. At least the drunks have a good time or three before they kick the bucket. But the PISSED pissed?

In general, the sad hurt themselves, and the angry hurt others.

Society has more than enough pills for the sad among us, but any specifically for the angry?

I would call that a HUGE, societal, miss-the-obvious-point-yet-again opportunity.

The medical/psychology/social services community is even running after rambunctious boys-who-will be-boys and labeling them "disabled", and on the "autism spectrum".

Yet nothing for the ANGRY boys?

Sad boys don't start fights, they don't form gangs. If they buy a gun it is to shoot themselves in the head, not to shoot a group of friends or a party of innocents.

Sure society has their "store and blow" types. But when you observe the in-your-face, perpetually angry man?

Let me guess? You judge him on how much you agree with his current rant?

Do so at your own peril.

"Angry" is meant to be that midway place between sad and moving on.

Move along, Crack. We don't want to be scared of you.

Penny said...

OK, now back to Althouse....

That biker wasn't wearing "shorts", my dear, he was wearing lederhosen. ;)

Seven Machos said...

You people obviously are not aware that German men unabashedly wear shorts all the time. It must be cultural. Althouse would never, ever make it in Germany.

What makes up for this is the fact that German women sit nude in steam rooms and saunas. Sometimes they are hot.

kent said...

If only the poor loon had had the simple foresight to growl a throaty "I'm Batman," a bare instant before lobbing his impromptu Puppyarang at the startled bikers and scooting: he'd be a genuine, crime-fighting legend, this very A.M.

wind.rider said...

I totally get everything except the puppy. . .that's just so. . .German.

tw - oustfulm - German word for hurling a small animal while mooning

edutcher said...

wind.rider said...

I totally get everything except the puppy. . .that's just so. . .German.

No, invading France is so...German. Puppy hurling sounds more Australian.

Hoosier Daddy said...

I didn't know the Hell's Angels made it all the way to Germany.

Fred4Pres said...

If that puppy does not recover, I vote for bringing him back to the Hell's Angels.

Pogo said...

Counselors were made available to the bikers after the incident.

Post Traumatic Shorts Disorder is a severe anxiety disorder that can develop after exposure to any man in shorts that results in a thrown puppy or a global warming lecture.

Diagnostic symptoms for PTSD include flying-puppy flashbacks, avoidance of lederhosen, windmill worship, and hypervigilance for med-skipping schizophrenics.

Clyde said...

Achtung, baby!

MadisonMan said...

Post Traumatic Shorts Disorder

And the bulldozer driver has Puppy Throwing Shorts Disorder.

wv: dialog

lucid said...

Severe bipolar disorder off meds and manic.

Jennifer said...

I haven't noticed a ton of German men wandering around in shorts. Seems like they chronically overdress for the weather around here.

The dog throwing, would cause some serious German consternation, though. Very, very dog welfare minded.

I haven't figured out how to translate "luxating patella" and the constant injury to my useless overbred dog's hind leg from excessively long walks well enough to counter my neighbors' concern that I don't walk him long enough or often enough.

Also, why in the hell do we call it Munich!? Took me forever to figure out that the autobahn signs pointing to M√ľnchen were talking about "Munich".

Pogo said...

That reads like a "Men seeking women" ad:
Severe bipolar disorder off meds and manic seeks same. Enjoys long rides on bulldozers, and puppies (as projectiles)."

Rialby said...

But is the guy "psychologically healthy"? You know, normal?

lemondog said...

How do you 'escape' on a bulldozer? Top speed, what, 7 mph?

Pogo said...

"Luxating patella"

Sounds very NSFW.

lemondog said...

ps....does driving a bulldozer require no special knowledge or skill?

Pogo said...

Sounds like a bad joke:
"Man drives up to a bar wearing only a pair of shorts and carrying a puppy..."

Or a journalism school exercise, "Write a short paragraph containing the words: Hell's Angels, Munich, a pair of shorts, bulldozer, and puppy."

Christy said...

Penny, regarding the pills for ANGER, I take it you've never seen Serenity?

Scott M said...

How in the hell do you escape anything faster than the plot of a foreign film on a bulldozer?

A.W. said...

btw, the puppy is okay. i repeat, the puppy is safe and sound.

Tyrone Slothrop said...

I see the phrase "threw the dog" replacing "jumped the shark" in the modern lexicon.

former law student said...

More important news from Europe:

Though the story is available only in Italian, it appears that a proposed EU regulation will end up banning Nutella, as having more than 10 grams of sugar per 100 grams of product. (Nutella is mostly sugar and vegetable oil. Hazelnuts come third.)

c3 said...

Wow, Monty Python is making a comeback!

Reminds me of this.

Joan said...

fls: Nutella tastes divine, but we're supposed to worry about what it's made from? They really taken this PC thing too far now.

I'm glad the puppy is OK, and I have some guilt over how much I enjoyed this comment thread. Poor guy. But I can't help laughing over the whole bizarre series of images --- man in shorts drops trou and tosses puppy at biker gang, then "escapes" on a bulldozer where he creates a 5km traffic backup, only to abandon the bulldozer and take off on foot...

It sounds like a Monty Python skit.

Joan said...

c3: GMTA

jeff said...

I'm guessing the Hells Angels were not chasing him as he made his "getaway" Appears he mooned and threw the puppy at the clubhouse. Possibly the Hells Angels didnt know about it until it was long over. If they knew about it, AND they were members of a transportation union, they will probably be off work for the next 6 months recovering from the trama.

raf said...

"Men-in-shorts" seems not quite right for this post. Do we need a "men-out-of-shorts" tag?

wv: dicspin. No comment.

Trooper York said...

I wonder if the dog he threw was one of those German Weiner dogs.

Question what is this story about this German dude throwing this "hot dog" dog through the Hells Angels Hallway?

Answer: Having sex with Whoopi Goldberg.

kent said...

I wonder if the dog he threw was one of those German Weiner dogs.

1.) Assuming he hurled said canine overhand, in the classic baseball pitching style of (oh, say) Joe Niekro: would he most likely have scuffed one side of the hapless hound with some sandpaper, or an emory board?

2.) If so: would such devotion to mechanics and craft make what he did better, or worse...?

c3 said...

If you're going to throw an animal then throw something more substantial

go and boil your bottoms sundry silly persons!