"That would explain why my friend Ruben has had no luck at all incorporating it into a pick-up line. Neither, it seems, is 'plectrum', which I now see in hindsight is the reason my doctor looked puzzled when I told him mine was red and swollen. Vocabulary can be a minefield for the unsuspecting. To his credit, though, my doctor looks puzzled and mildly annoyed when I say anything at all. He sees any comment of a symptomatic nature I might make as a willful erection of a roadblock against the swift completion of his Anthem-sanctioned rounds...."
That's the beginning of the text of a Crack Skull Bob post called "A Plethora of Devices" — which has some great drawings — of the completely SFW variety. The remainder of the text is less sexy and more pissily political than what you might want to read, but you might enjoy it. And, again, the drawings are very cool.