April 15, 2009

"I could have turned everything into a crime scene like O.J., cutting everybody's throat."

"You live half a mile from the 20,000-square-foot home you can't go to anymore, you're driving through downtown Clearwater and see a 19-year-old boy driving your Escalade, and you know that a 19-year-old boy is sleeping in your bed, with your wife. I totally understand O.J. I get it."

34 comments:

Revenant said...

Which raises the question -- did steroids do this to his brain, or was he this way to begin with?

Lem said...

We have always maintained that the fear that Linda has had to live with comes from the rage and instability much too often associated with pro wrestlers," Smith said in the statement....and we are donating the proceeds of all that rage and instability to a battered women shelter.. wait she didn't say that?

Meade said...

"As part of a lager conversation, he referred to it to exemplify his frustration with his own situation," the spokesman said.He should probably stick to regular ale conversations. Less threatening; more hoppy.

zedzded said...

Don't worry, be hoppy.

OJ used a lot of steroids, too. I think they do bad things to a person, based on results.

jeff said...

BWHAHAHAHA Meade, you're killing me.

Peter V. Bella said...

Ya know rev, I thought the same thing. is a guy his age still doing them or are there residual effects?

Meade said...

Andrew Sullivan does steroids. He's never threatened anyone.

save_the_rustbelt said...

19? 19!

Wow, that might make even me go into a rage.

But then guys who marry bleach-blonds with big boobs might anticipate such problems..... just saying.

Meade - you bad. But being from Ohio all is forgiven.

zedzded said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
zedzded said...

Good point, Mr. Meade. Sully is as normal as the day is long.

Once again, I was wrong. Steroids are like mother's milk. Well, they are if your mother is a body builder. Or a wrestler. Or a football player. Or baseball player. Or, well, I could go on, but I would need some PEDs...

Jason (the commenter) said...

If he saw the same sign as I did, he probably refrained because he knew someone else was coming to do the job for him.

Revenant said...

Andrew Sullivan does steroids. He's never threatened anyone.

True, but he's not exactly a poster boy for emotional stability either.

kynefski said...

File that one under Stupid Things I Said That Felt Like They Might Seem Entertaining.

Peter V. Bella said...

"Andrew Sullivan does steroids. He's never threatened anyone."

Yet.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Hogan was just on the local news (I live near Clearwater) and CNN seems to be taking a lot of the comments out of context. Also Hogan seems to have a 19-year-old looking girl to match his wife's 19-year-old boy.

Everything he said, that's just how people talk in Florida.

Cedarford said...

Hulk and Mel should do a show for a lawyers firm, or MANSWERS

"Remember, you may think you love her and trust her 100%, but do the prenup. You won't be sorry, and if she doesn't want to sign, she isn't worth getting hitched to!"

Hulkster - "Neglect of the prenup cost me custody of my kids, my dog, my Escalade, my huge mansion. 50% of all my future revenue...A prenup would prevent me from dreaming every night of snapping her neck and pile-driving her 19-year old loverboy until his body is just jagged broken bones & mush."

Mel - "See this wheelbarrow full of money? It's all 100 dollar bills and I have 408 more wheelbarrows just like this I have to deliver to the b&*!th that's leaving me and her F%!% Jewish lawyer."

Voiceover: "This is attorney Hyman Glickstein. For the right money, I'll dissemble and lie my heart out for any client. even Mel! Don't ever tap a 'ho without a palimony or prenup agreement if your net worth is above 750,000. Even you lesser Americans only worth 300K can save pain, even save your cruddy little house or dog with the right paperwork."

Mel - "Call me a fool. I didn't call Mr. Glickstein years ago. Now I'm being nailed to the cross."

Voiceover: "Even if you don't have a prenup, give us a call. We can twist the laws in ways you can't imagine. We are worth every 10,000 dollar check you can send. Many of our lawyers are former judges or high-ranking feminist lawyers who have sold out and who know every sleazy trick they taught their female "victim" clients. We'll fight for you. We even got Baretta off."

Pogo said...

"I totally understand O.J. I get it."

At least he didn't totally understand Jeffrey Dahmer or Ed Gein, two famous Wisconsin boys.

Pogo said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

Why is divorce so expensive?

Because it's worth it.

Henry said...

Jason wrote: "Everything he said, that's just how people talk in Florida."

Once he was a professional wrestler. Now he's just a character in a Carl Hiaason novel.

Henry said...

Hiaasen.

Seven Machos said...

Hey man, I understand it, too. The difference is that I would not act on it.

blake said...

Chris Rock did a bit like that years and years ago. How did it go? "I ain't sayin' I approve. I'm just sayin' I understand."

EDH said...

Here's the Law & Order plot:

Pool boy marries the Hulk's wife. She's found dead of a slit throat. Who did it? Who stands to gain?

DOINK DOINK

Michael Hasenstab said...

On the positive side, Mr.Hogan's life experience qualifies him to seek the elective office of his choice in Minnesota. So he's got that going for him.

Chip Ahoy said...

I'm sensing a market for chain-mail turtlenecks.

srfwotb said...

This probably belongs on the Spector thread but what the heck. The violent murder of blonde females is the prevailing theme.

Lana Clarkson: (not for the squeamish):

http://tabloidbaby.blogspot.com/2007/09/next-jury-remember-lana-clarksons-last.html

If you ever saw Fast Times At Ridgemont High, btw, Lana Clarkson played the science teacher's hot wife who appeared for a bit at the dance at the end.

blake said...

Or, you can see her as the eponymous Barbarian Queen.


I've never heard anything nice about her as a person from anyone who knew her, but it's a shame she met such a violent end.

AllenS said...

As a defense to the outrageous statement, the Hulkster could use this: "I suffered too many fake blows to the head in my wrestling career."

zedzded said...

If Chris Rock did that bit then he stole it from Sam Kinison. Brother Sam ruled.

Tibore said...

Pissed and hyperbolic... someone tell me, aside from the fact it's Hulk Hogan, how is this news?

Yes, I know what he said was execrable. I know there's no excuse for invoking OJ and the horror of murder for what it a domestic problem. I get that.My question is, how is this news?

hdhouse said...

faked blows to a thick head with a fake brain.

traditionalguy said...

Can any lawyers out there suggest what can be done to protect a wealthy male client married 25 years ago at a time Pre-nuptual Agreements were not legal in most states, much less expected to be done automatically, and the client moves into a State like Florida which has recently enacted a Pure No Fault divorce Law? Piracy of these men's wives has become a local industry like piracy of the ships in Somalia.

zedzded said...

HD, to quote Pulp Fiction "English, motherfucker, do you speak it?"