May 24, 2008

Cookie exudes confidence.

Cookie exudes confidence

29 comments:

Trooper York said...

What you are supposed to do is at the end of reading your fortune cookie you should add the words:

In bed.

Works every time.

wgh said...

I don't need that kind of pressure, cookie!!!!!

Ron said...

That cookie's watched too much Oprah!

Joe said...

Is that confidence, or merely an expression of disappointment and failure? "You should be able to undertake and complete anything you desire--but you can't."

Joe said...
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Joe said...

Here you go, Trooper.

Trooper York said...

Hey Joe what can I say. I am an optimist.

rhhardin said...

Kroger on Thursday introduces a line of patriotic cookies for the red states.

Don't look for them in Madison.

Trooper York said...

Well Madison does have very good Cheese Doodles.

Ron said...

from The Comments That Time Forgot:

Hitler faced the upcoming Russian Campaign, buoyed by the confidence his fortune cookie gave him.

Trooper York said...

Harry Hinkle: Of course he's upset. He's a lawyer - he's paid to be upset.
(The Fortune Cookie, 1966)

Trooper York said...
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George said...

It takes much grinding to turn an iron bar into a needle.

Windbag said...

Man is finite; the cookie is lying.

greenkiwibear said...

NPR interviewed a woman who wrote about the history of the fortune cookie: http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=19200355

The fortune cookie producers were pressured by restaurant managers to print upbeat messages after patrons complained about ambiguous or potentially negative messages. . . .

Clint Wolbert said...

I think negative fortune cookies would be hilarious.

Maggie45 said...

I'm resisting an urge to brush those crumbs away.

vbspurs said...

Heh. I first heard that "in bed" add-on from Ruth Anne here. Works like a gem every time.

BTW, does anyone else collect fortune cookies? I have a bag of them, from every delivery I've had since 2002.

Because of the Lotto Numbers, you see.

Cheers,
Victoria

Ruth Anne Adams said...

That fortune is for funeral directors only.

Chip Ahoy said...

*You are soon to be audited

*A lock is recommended for your fuel tank

*That wasn't pork.

*Did you see the kitchen in this place?

*Your faith in polls is ill-founded.

*Dry weather and high winds create fire hazard

*Be mindful of your emergency brake, and turn your tires inward. There's a lot of hills around here.

*Enjoy yourself, it doesn't get any better than this.

*Your education doesn't suit you.

*Neglect your food taster at your own hazard

*Ignore those vermin, they're not important

*This restaurant scored poorly on its inspection.

*Your chef is experiencing personal difficulties

*Your waiter has herpes.

*If you must, use the bathroom next door.

*Your daughter will run an escort business.

*Your son will open a shop on Castro St.

*Your boss finds your wife attractive.

*The stock you felt compelled to sell will soon split.

*The city will soon seize your property under eminent domain.

*Fortune cookie writers are on drugs.

*You should have had an Oreo. ®
*Your youngest is growing pot in the basement.

*Your office is relocating.

*Please make Chip stop.

vbspurs said...

Chip, how about some blogger fortune cookie suggestions?

- You will be Instalanched

- Your faith in Ace of Spades shall be rewarded

- Your banning from Kos for referring to Armando will be swift

- You don't know Jac

...any others?

Michael_H said...

Omigosh. Was Hillary Clinton seen eating Chinese food?

knoxwhirled said...

funniest thread evah

blake said...

I remember one of the iterations of "The Twilight Zone" (not the original) had a guy in some sort of Chinese Restaurant of the Damned (aren't they all), and he had a fortune cookie that read:

You are going to die.

Which sounds scary until you realize it's pretty much the only guaranteed true fortune there is.

vbspurs said...

Was Hillary Clinton seen eating Chinese food?

Don't be silly, Michael. Only Bill Clinton eats out.

TexasPatrick said...

Best fortune I ever got from a cookie: "Beware of worthless wisdom."

Yeah. My internal irony-o-meter was painfully sore for a week. I couldn't even stand minor amusing hypocrisies without having to sit down . . . .

Jacob said...
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Jacob said...

Adding "in bed" is funny but I think this suggestion is even better...

Jacob said...

And now I see Joe already posted this link. Oops.