July 28, 2023

"Yes, phones — and dogs! Both have an outsized role in the lives of many these days. Why? They're less messy than people."

"Why bother dealing directly with all of these people around me and all of the challenging negotiations required to compromise, to build bonds, etc? And we wonder why we're increasingly polarized."


The article doesn't mention dogs. The commenter widened the subject matter quite interestingly, don't you think? 

Is the NYT promoting a new word in "phubbing" or is it real slang that already part of the culture and I just never noticed? I see from the "Phubbing" article in  Wikipedia that it's a word an advertising agency tried to make happen a decade ago:
Phubbing is the habit of snubbing a physically present person in favour of a mobile phone. In May 2012, as part of a linguistic experiment by Macquarie Dictionary, the advertising agency behind the campaign, McCann, had invited a number of lexicographers, authors, and poets to coin a neologism to describe the behaviour. The word "phubbing," a portmanteau of phone and snubbing, was first described by McCann Group Account Director Adrian Mills.... The term... was popularized by the Stop Phubbing campaign created by McCann....
Ugh! Adspeak... an insidious habit.

But there's something good about the annoying badness of the word "phubbing." The other person is doing something that is annoying you, so you can annoy them back: You're phubbing me. Stop phubbing me. Are you going to phub all night? 

61 comments:

Tina Trent said...

Multiphubbing is the worst.

Of course, tv remote controls started the whole dreadful phenomenon. That, or Gutenberg.

Wilbur said...

"(W)e're increasingly polarized" because of dogs and phones.

What planet is this commenter living on?

RideSpaceMountain said...

The country is increasingly polarized because 81 million people just installed an agent of a foreign government in the white house.

Those 81 million "voters" are my enemy now. They will be the enemies of my children. And their children. And will be forever. And ever. And ever.

Quaestor said...

Althouse writes, "But there's something good about the annoying badness of the word "phubbing." The other person is doing something that is annoying you, so you can annoy them back: You're phubbing me. Stop phubbing me. Are you going to phub all night?"

Bad habits deserve puerile nouns, I suppose. However, phubbing perpetuates the Greek influence on our language in a very silly manner. Ph pronounced as F generally denotes a word derived from the Greek, as in pharmacy, a very useful and common word derived from pharmakeía, “the use of drugs”. However, phubbing only refers to telephone ("distant voice") obliquely, so why not spell it fubbing and give our under-employed sixth letter a new job? The pay sucks, and the prestige is sub-sanitation level, but work is work.

RideSpaceMountain said...

Funny "phubbing" story. I use a webcrawler app with some custom modifications I made myself to keep track of websites - like Althouse - and when they update. Essentially it pings those sites at random intervals (when there's a wifi connection) and checks for html changes indicative of format updates. Then I get a notification.

When my wife and I were still dating, she became extremely suspicious that I was actually chatting with other women. It took some persuading to convince her that I wasn't cheating on her with other women...only their websites. LOL.

rehajm said...

As I say several times a day People suck but lately I’ve been doing fairly well with people. I think I’m a refreshing stand out when I don’t have an agenda. Sure, the assholes gonna asshole but for some reason they aren’t getting their way with me…

…I can’t say the same for the airlines or FedEx. Their suck is winning…

tommyesq said...

I can think of one old man whose dogs are not "less messy" than people (well, perhaps other than the secret service agents the dogs bit).

Marcus Bressler said...

I dislike people who bring their non-service dogs into public stores. I dislike more the managers who ignore such rule-breakers especially when the policy is posted at each entrance. (yelling at the cloud is over, ty)

MarcusB. THEOLDMAN

Quaestor said...

What planet is this commenter living on?

Planet Buzzword, which eccentrically orbits the class M red dwarf star, Misused Alpha in the constellation Jargonus. The Buzzwordians are the only sentient lifeforms in the known universe that excrete through their mouths.

wild chicken said...

Yes I confess I do this. But he used to always be reading a book. And did not like being disturbed with woman convo.

Then I got a smart phone.

He never complained but if I got deep into an internet article he'd put the book down and want to talk.

Why are men like that.

Randomizer said...

When I was teaching high school, we coined the portmanteau "scrombies" to refer to the screen zombies who shamble through the hallways fixated on the screens of their phones.

Political Junkie said...

I do get a bit irritated when driving and wife in passenger seat is doing phone stuff the entire time.

stutefish said...

I'm partial to the theory advanced by BJ Novak in his film, "Vengeance": We're increasingly polarized because we're each curating our own entertainment and information streams.

Anyway, "phubbing" is a horrible word, and I plan to never write it or say it ever again. It's a useful concept, however. My spouse and I will frequently check out of a conversation mid-exchange, to dive into one of our ubiquitous screens. Luckily we are simpatico, snd so do not experience the predicted "feelings of distrust and ostracism".

However, I tend to do something similar in the office, when I'm there in person. Team meetings just get so boring! So I will probably be more mindful of this behavior in the future, and the effect it's having on my colleague's perceptions of me.

Roger Sweeny said...

I think the commenter is right, and I'm glad he brought in dogs. Dogs have been bred to be subservient to people and to be sensitive to their emotions. Too many people mistake that for, "My dog really loves me (unlike all those people in my life)."

wild chicken said...

Dogs ARE messy what are they talking about. They shit and tear things up when you're gone. And they bark and drive the neighbors crazy.

Way too much sentimentality about these beasts.

Cats otoh...

cassandra lite said...

Phubbing is totally fetch.

MadisonMan said...

So many people forget that phones have off switches.
Dogs, on the other hand,....

mikeski said...

Of course, tv remote controls started the whole dreadful phenomenon. That, or Gutenberg.

Look, I don't really think he was much of an actor either, but people have got to stop blaming Steve Guttenberg for...

Hm?

Oh.

Nevermind.

/Rosannadanna'd

Bob Boyd said...

Speaking of dogs and phones, some people phubbed Commander...once.

MayBee said...

Phubbing sounds too much like "flubbing".

Maybe they could have gone with "phignore"

JPS said...

"I took my wife out for coffee and my phone died.

"Turns out she's really nice, we have a lot in common."

I forget where I read that. Maybe here. It's not a knee-slapper, but there's truth to it.

Bob Boyd said...

Why do some kids grow up without manners or social skills?
Because they're motherphubbers.

Bob Boyd said...

I'm not really a phubber. I'm more of a laptubber.

Temujin said...

The internet killed society. I love it. I loathe it. I am it. It is me. We were the walrus.

M Jordan said...

People loving on their dogs might as well wear a tee shirt that says, “I need to be adored unconditionally.” It’s a badge of narcissism and weakness.

RideSpaceMountain said...

"Because they're motherphubbers."

Haha. Love that. Stolen.

JPS said...

M Jordan, 9:25:

I loved my dog at least as much as he loved me. He was good company and we had fun together.

I don't need to be adored unconditionally, but you've reminded me of an exchange between two former colleagues:

D: "Can't stand dog people. They just want someone in their life who will love them no matter what."

K: "Actually, D, that doesn't sound too bad to me."

planetgeo said...

Personally, I think "phombie" hits the X right on the head. But doesn't quite kill it, unfortunately. It/zhit keeps coming back on.

traditionalguy said...

Simple solution to jealousy when your spouse has friends on the phone is putting phone on speaker. Then it’s a choice to keep up with her crowd or go play golf.

wildswan said...

When you're lost in the rain in Juarez
And it's Easter time too;
And your gravity fails
And negativity don't pull you through
Then just whip out your phone
and read your message/notification/photo stream
And you'll feel right at home
Even in a Southwest flight delay.

I suppose I distinguish between phubbing and hubbing. Phubbing is rude and loses chances of speaking with others. Hubbing is getting in touch with a better world when suddenly trapped in anonymous strange areas like airports or in a part of the civilizational collapse Our Betters are overseeing such as being in a blacked-out home with the refrigerator, stove and lights gone and the car in a garage whose automatic door won't lift.
They used to write comedies of manners which derived their humor from different ways in which people were blind to their real surroundings because they were meticulously following an inappropriate social pattern. I think something like that could be done with phubbers and DEIers and cancellers and Karens and others. They are outrageous - but maybe it's time to laugh about them all.
DOJ lawyers - note how "DOJ" sounds out as "dodge?"

Michael K said...

People who read the NY Times, especially aging liberal women, need something besides left wing causes to stay relatively sane. Dogs help.

Brian McKim and/or Traci Skene said...

I was momentarily stumped by "phignore," but only because I studied Italian for a few months earlier this year.

Lem the artificially intelligent said...

“Multiphubbing is the worst.“

PWF or phubbing while fapping got to be worse.

Although, there are no observations of PWF in the wild, as it is assumed that if and when it does occur, it will not in the presence of another, as phubbing would have to be in order to qualify as phubbing. In theory, PWF is a lonesome affair.

Never mind.

Yancey Ward said...

So, we got dog wives and husbands, now?

rcocean said...

Phubber = an absent minded professsor creates a bouncy rubbery substance and then ignores people while talking on his cell phone.

Coming to a theater near you!

rcocean said...

I suppose the NYT's commenter has experienced people playing/talking to their dogs & ignoring him. I think that's a step up in rudness from Phubbing. Basically telling you you're duller than a dog. Who can't talk.

Left Bank of the Charles said...

The dog does not like to be phubbed when he thinks I should be playing with him and instead am writing blog comments.

RideSpaceMountain said...

"So, we got dog wives and husbands, now?"

Dog husbands. Not sure about dog wives.

A lot of American women don’t want actual men anymore. They want dogs. If those dogs happen to take human male form, that's great, but no longer a deal-breaker. I think a lot of them - mostly on the coasts - have made their peace with themselves that what they just really always wanted was a dog because the American men they desire aren't willing to put up with all the non-human things they actually want men to perform.

A lot of American women really want a man that fetches. Sits. Plays dead. Makes money. Fixes the porch. Retiles the roof. Is tender with them, but only when they need it. But more important than any of these, is a man that doesn't call them out when they're wrong and won't talk back at them.

In essence, if dogs could do all those things and reproduce with them, men would have very little use to them indeed. Which for people like me is just fine indeed.

TaeJohnDo said...

If dogs learn how to use phones, it is all over.

Tina Trent said...

Ha, mikeski, thanks for the laugh.

I just got off a statewide zoom call interrupted by my cat coming in and loudly vomiting up a vole directly behind me and visible on the screen.

Now what's the word for that?

William said...

I have a difficult relationship with my phone. There are many misunderstandings between us. I could handle a rotary phone fairly well but much of the new technology is beyond me. I'm an octogenarian and I can barely see all those buttons, much less understand their purpose. I feel like a rich old man who has somehow stumbled into an affair with a twenty year old stripper. I have a vague sense that she's exploiting me, but my cognitive decline is such that I can't say for certain.....I'd get rid of it, but my current position as senior nuclear armaments dispersal officer in the Biden Administration necessitates my having the latest Apple model. I sure hope I don't start a nuclear war by mistake. There are some in the media who would pounce on Biden if he inadvertently started a nuclear war.

Smilin' Jack said...

Once robot dogs and robot women are perfected the human race will be over. But it will die happy.

Wilbur said...

@ William
Great comment.

Free Manure While You Wait! said...

"The Buzzwordians are the only sentient lifeforms in the known universe that excrete through their mouths."

Are you asserting that hammerhead worms are not sentient?

Free Manure While You Wait! said...

"People loving on their dogs might as well wear a tee shirt that says, “I need to be adored unconditionally.”"

I live in the ghetto. And as such, I very wisely own a well-trained German Shepherd dog (think, the Anticommander). And as long as she's here, I see no problem with being really nice to her. She's a pack animal; she is genetically predisposed to interact with packmates, in her case me and the cat. My being kind to her, and the cat, and all of the birds and critters that feed in my inner-city yard -- literally hundreds of them everyday -- has nothing to do with a need to be adored unconditionally on my part. In fact, the opossums and raccoons that come here to feed at night don't give a rat's ass about me. I'm not offended.

Narr said...

I will miss my dog more than I'll miss my wife('s smartphone or my flip-phone, for which Consumer Cellular has sent a new SIM card which is around here somewhere).

Given that I hate small screens, my smartphone use is destined to remain limited.

lonejustice said...

RideSpaceMountain said...

The country is increasingly polarized because 81 million people just installed an agent of a foreign government in the white house.

Those 81 million "voters" are my enemy now. They will be the enemies of my children. And their children. And will be forever. And ever. And ever.
----------------

This is the most stupid comment I have read on the Internet today. You hate 81 million American voters and consider them your enemy. Fine. OK. But you have no genetic or other power to determine whether your children, their children, or their children's children will hate these 81 millions American voters that you hate. Get over it.

Rocco said...

rehajm said...
"As I say several times a day, People suck; but lately I’ve been doing fairly well with people."

Not my cup of espresso either. But the wife will occasionally pick up a copy, especially when the checkout line is slow.

RideSpaceMountain said...

"This is the most stupid comment I have read on the Internet today."

Sounds like you didn't read much on the internet today, did you.

Jamie said...

Without reading any other comments first... that's fetch!

Skeptical Voter said...

Jefferson Airplane and Gracie Slick (and for that matter by a cover from Janis Joplin) asked the question, "Don't You Want Somebody To Love". And for a generation of women, entranced with their "fur babies" the answer is get a four legged furry friend. The dog may poop on the carpet and piddle in the hallway, but the love that passes between the dog and the human is reciprocal and unlimited. Cats--maybe not so much. Dogs have owners--cats have staff.

Michael K said...

This is the most stupid comment I have read on the Internet today. You hate 81 million American voters and consider them your enemy.

Actually, his, and my, enemy is the people who generated those 81 million ballots. Ballots, not voters.

Robert Cook said...

"The country is increasingly polarized because 81 million people just installed an agent of a foreign government in the white house."

Now, y'see...this is the kind of wackadoo nutsense that tells the rational people remaining in this country that you Forever Trumpers and affiliated ilk are insane beyond any hope of return to reality.

Those 81 million 'voters' are my enemy now. They will be the enemies of my children. And their children. And will be forever. And ever. And ever."

Fight the good fight, Corporal Foilhat! Don't forget to take your medicine every two hours. You know how pants-shitting agitated you become when you forget it.

Robert Cook said...

"Actually, his, and my, enemy is the people who generated those 81 million ballots. Ballots, not voters."

It's sure nice you're retired, Dr. Ripper! (Condolences re: your late brother, Brigadier General "Jack" Ripper.)

Oligonicella said...

"Dogs ARE messy what are they talking about. They shit and tear things up when you're gone."

Don't project your dog's behavior onto mine.

"It’s a badge of narcissism and weakness.

Another case of projection.

Blastfax Kudos said...

Lonejustice said, "You hate 81 million American voters and consider them your enemy."

So how many times did you vote for Biden lonejustice? Seven? One for each day of the week? Or did you go the ballot harvesting route. Everyone would love to know your secret. Please share.

Iman said...

If there’s animal husbandry, why come there’s no animal wifery!?!?

Narr said...

Almost 14 hours from the morning post with no new ones. Unusual.

(Still no delay on commenting? Let's find out.)

Narr said...

What do you know. Hope all is well.

boatbuilder said...

Tina Trent: I believe the correct term for that is catgack.

Josephbleau said...

We have a new Schnauzer puppy, and an adult one. Dogs are not cleaner than sane people, perhaps cleaner than the homeless people.