April 7, 2023
"That person I love is still there every minute of every day and that is my life. It’s unfortunate that she forgets things, well, don’t we all."
Said John Lydon in 2020, quoted in "Sex Pistols frontman Johnny Rotten’s wife dead at 80 after Alzheimer’s battle" (NY Post).
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22 comments:
"well, don’t we all."
Yes, but not the same way. In fact, dementia robs us of don't-we-all awareness. Self and connection fade away.
The institution of marriage is under attack from every direction. It's really refreshing to hear that some people, especially vapid entertainers, still have enough character to endure adversity.
There is very very little of that left.
RIP.
It's kind of ironic that a punk hero turned out to be one of the more responsible adults of my lifetime.
Johnny Rotten was her junior by 13 years.
I wonder if any of those brash, teenage Britons imagined themselves elderly, frail, and demented?
Old? Fuck no, man! I'm gonna die with a needle in my arm and my cock inside some bitch's filthy minge. Old and frail? Nevah, mate. Punk to the end!
Youth culture. Neither young nor cultured anymore.
Their relationship started in 1976, when he was about 20, and she was 33. Interesting. In this heartless world, caring is the exception. What makes some people care, and so many others only care about themselves?
The frontman for the Sex Pistols is not the guy you would pick to be an exemplary husband for a woman with a chronic and difficult illness. Plus she was a German publishing heiress. You wouldn't pick a German publishing heiress to inspire such devotion either. I don't mean to stereotype but many German publishing heiresses have tempermental and demanding dispositions. But that's how it played out.... He was a better husband than Jerry Falwell or Jim Baker....I wonder what God says about such things in the afterlife party.
Interesting. She was 14 years older, and German (What is it with British rockstars and German women?) and rich ("Der Spiegel," the German "Time" magazine).
On paper, they seem like anything but a perfect match, but good for them that it worked out and Johnny found something in his life that wasn't rotten.
This one is very personal.
He seems like a good guy...
He's a great guy for helping her through this. Loads of respect for this.
"Yes, but not the same way."
Some see the difference. Some see the sameness. He is a great man to have seen the sameness.
Johnny is no-so-Rotten. He is thoughtful, well-spoken and, it turns out, a devoted husband.
He is also an unabashed Trump supporter.
Cancel him!
ah shit, this made me cry
Johnny Rotten
really a sweetheart of a man
RIP and best wishes for Lydon. I’ve been married to my wife for a little over 47 years now and when I think of a life without her, well, I can’t… to help dispel the despair, I must remind myself to focus on how blessed I am to have her in my life, our three wonderful children… what an amazing woman she is.
Johnny Not-So Rotten. Johnny Fresh.
It's quite beautiful, really. And it's not a shock to hear common sense from a rocker who's lived long enough to see life from many sides. More than a few of them sound like the reasonable ones among us these days.
"He is a great man to have seen the sameness."
If the illusion gives comfort, that's fine.
My point is not that Alzheimer's patients lose their entire personality or cannot be loved for who they remain, and in that sense stressing "sameness" is a recognition of shared humanity. I take that to be the non-literal point of the line. But their forgetting is fundamentally different from non-Alzheimer's patients. It's a simple fact.
I know the feeling. my wife of 63 years has Parkinson's and related vascular dementia. This started about 5 years ago, and was reinforced by the virus lockdowns. Her main problem is being unable to express her wants and needs and the total inability to decide between choices. She know everyone and thinks about things, but she is frustrated about not being able to really communicate.
A hard part for me is not being able to recognize when she is so frustrated before it boils over into anger.
'I’ve been married to my wife for a little over 47 years now and when I think of a life without her, well, I can’t… to help dispel the despair, I must remind myself to focus on how blessed I am to have her in my life, our three wonderful children… what an amazing woman she is.'
I've always hoped that I 'go' first...
Lydon's devotion to his wife is quite inspirational. In an attempt to bring attention to Alzheimer's, he recently tried to represent Ireland in Eurovision with a song, "Hawaii", inspired by a trip there with his wife some years ago. The video for the song is in this link, really beautiful especially knowing the backstory.
https://www.theguardian.com/music/2023/jan/15/john-lydon-hopes-to-highlight-torture-of-alzheimers-with-eurovision-bid
Unsurprisingly if you know Eurovision, his song came fourth in the Irish vote.
Johnny Rotten is my hero. I have been married to my lovely bride for 40 years. I can't imagine e life without her. My MIL is going into that great darkness with dementia at 91. It's not good.
ngtrains, my thoughts are with you. I married my wife when I was 23 and she was 36. In addition to the age difference, she was an ex Ursuline sister and I was raised a Baptist. None of our family or friends believed it would last. She died at home of Alzheimer's about 3 years ago at age 84 after 47 1/2 years of marriage. I sometimes feel cheated when I see reports of women like Ms Sheraton passing at 97 and wish I had those additional years with my wife. But then I recall that my father lost my mother after only 13 years and I feel blessed that I had so many years with such a wonderful woman.
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