"This stated that there seems to be a correlation between the standard of writing about a particular sport and the ball it utilizes -- that the smaller the ball, the more formidable the literature. There are superb books about golf, very good books about baseball, not many good books about football or soccer, very few good books about basketball and no good books at all about beach balls...."
Wrote George Plimpton — in 1992 — in "The Smaller the Ball, the Better the Book: A Game Theory of Literature" (NYT). I'm reading that not because this weekend is The Masters, but because I stumbled across a 1996 piece "Bad Sports," by Michiko Kakutani (NYT), about the "hippie psychobabble" that had taken over golf writing:
Consider the ur-text of New Age golf writing, ''Golf in the Kingdom'' (1972), by Michael Murphy, a founder of Esalen. In the course of the book, the reader is introduced to a guru-like golf teacher named Shivas Irons, who spouts aphorisms like ''let the nothingness into yer shots,'' and is pelted with a boggling array of metaphors: golf as ''the new yoga of the supermind,'' golf as a recapitulation of evolution and golf as a Rorschach test of character....
Two recent novels -- ''The Legend of Bagger Vance,'' by Steven Pressfield, and ''Follow the Wind,'' by Bo Links -- give us Shivas wannabes, who tell their disciples to find their ''troo self.''... Perhaps sappiest of all is Jeff Wallach's ''Beyond the Fairway,'' a series of essays that purports to be a golf version of ''Zen in the Art of Archery'' when in fact it's closer to one of those business manuals that try to adapt the principles of Sun Tzu's classic ''Art of War'' to corporate back-stabbing....
I'm reading Kakutani's old essay because I was looking up "The Art of War" in the NYT. And I wasn't doing that out of any sort of thought that the Russians are botching the art of war in Ukraine, but because I wanted to do a post in honor of the 50th anniversary (tomorrow) of the discovery of the Yinqueshan Han Tombs, which contained "a nearly complete Western Han Dynasty (206 BC - 220 AD) copy of The Art of War, known as the Yinqueshan Han Slips, which is almost completely identical to modern editions."
Back to Kakutani (whose name is misspelled in the NYT scan of her ancient article):
Zen golf, [Wallach] writes, is ''a way of transporting yourself to a new dimension, gaining access to new perspectives, and maybe racking up a few birdies along the way.'' The problem with such passages isn't just the bad writing (which pretty much negates George Plimpton's famous ''Small Ball Theory'' that the smaller the ball the better the writing), the sanctimoniousness or even its startling trivialization of Zen. The problem is that such writing takes sport out of the lovely pure realm of the physical, where talent and strength and discipline are measured in unforgiving inches and lifetime stats, and plunges it into the warm recovery movement realm of subjectivity and self-esteem.
Little did Kakutani know, the very year she wrote, 1996, a new phenomenon would take over golf. Tiger Woods went professional that year, and just about ever since, the main thing about golf has been how is Tiger doing? An in-the-flesh icon overwhelmed the old hippie psychobabble of "The Legend of Bagger Vance."
But they did make a movie out of "The Legend of Bagger Vance" — "Time [Magazine] called it one of the most 'embarrassing' films of recent years for its treatment of African Americans and the use of a 'Magical African-American Friend.'"
Matt Damon's magical friend was, of course, Will Smith:
Posts
50 comments:
Baseball has literary classics, golf has books golfers like.
Will, blink twice if you need assistance. Blink three times if you're in immediate danger.
You are not suicidal. You did not kill yourself.
Best round of golf I ever played was behind a half dose of windowpane. Very Zen experience.
There is this book that is about pegging your friends’ social class that uses the small ball theory, basically if you find a bowling ball in their closet, bad, golf ball, good, but I don’t buy it, probably because I can’t shake my upbringing, which the book also notes is a rule
Is this why I've never read a decent book about soccer?
Tiger made the cut.
Where does Pool fit into this scheme? The balls are small; but there are a LOT* of them
a Lot* clearly there is Far Better writing on 9-ball, than that stupid 15-ball spots/stripes game
George Plimpton and Matt Damon acted together.
"I don't care if you putt from the rough."
Troon McAllister's four golf books and one baseball book support the theory presented by Plimpton. The golf books emphasize the role of cheating in the sport, from local foursomes of buddies to international leaders who play the game.
https://www.thriftbooks.com/a/troon-mcallister/274123/
I don't golf or think about golf at all, but P.G. Wodehouse has a whole book full of short stories about gold that are hilarious.
Golf In the Kingdom is a great story, even if you think the mysticism is mostly nonsense.
"Tiger made the cut."
You're proving my point. That's all that matters about The Masters.
I actually had the sentence "(Tiger made the cut at The Masters.)" in the original draft of this post. I took it out because it was annoying me!
Tiger made the cut in spite of missing several makable putts, Dave. I’m not sure he has enough strength to win, nor am I sure if anyone can catch Scheffler - he’s in the zone.
This is fun.
1. Golf seems like a kind of escape in a bourgeois world. Greenery, generally no noise or freeways. (I've been told the fad to build a sub-division around a golf course is long gone; it was always kind of a trick to meet "green" or "recreational" requirements, and now golfers want more green, less built infrastructure, more quiet).
2. It's a bit like going to the cottage with no actual cottage or meals to worry about, er, no kids, er, in some cases no spouses.
3. So for a guy named Hal who's made a few bucks, this can be almost a religious retreat. If you are lucky in your golf buddies, a bit of a boys' night out, with sunshine, greenery and exercise.
4. A bit of ascetic discipline as a pathway to God or nirvana. Surely this notion is always just over the horizon. A hilarious part of J.F. Powers, Morte d'Urban.
5. Of course in the West, rather than actual respect for Zen, it is likely to become a suspiciously easy appropriation of Zen. Remember Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance? Hippie bullshit, but there is something to be said for working with your hands, accomplishing projects, etc.
6. Then: it becomes such a white, usually relatiely wealthy activity, how to bring BIPOCs and the poor into it? Discover "differences," and allow that the different people may have a wisdom which seems strange, uncanny or unscientific at first, but eventually really has something to offer us. Being There. Of course the offensive part is if white males think only they have the attributes that really count, or make the world work. If I was being cynical, I would say it is a mystery why middle-class people think it is a super duper idea for male and female spouses to spend virtually every waking moment together--except for work, assuming it is not at home.
I don't think it's the size of the balls that matter (I tell my wife this all the time), but the quality of the writers. Baseball is steeped in tradition and had decades more of a hold on American culture than either golf, basketball, or soccer. So a number of great writers wrote great stories about life in their age and baseball, for much of the 20th century, was a part of American life.
So there are so many great books about baseball and fiction books that wrap themselves in baseball (such as "The Natural" or "Shoeless Joe"). Not as many about football- though there are a few good ones that take place in the rough and tumble 60's and 70s, but nothing recent.
Why no hockey books? Because hockey fans cannot read. Ha! Just kidding. I can when I'm sober.
I liked Bagger Vance. It was about a young boy learning about life and it was entertaining. The best part was about the boy’s father, a minor character, and Matt Damon making the kid see the father, who embarrassed the kid, in a different light. Only the NYT could make it racial. Will Smith plays a human being who happens to be black like Matt Damon plays a guy with brown hair. There is no racial element at all.
"no good books at all about beach balls"
Any good books about beach volleyballs?
""Tiger made the cut." You're proving my point. That's all that matters about The Masters."
I know what you mean. Looks like there's a new Tiger emerging though. Scheffler is the real deal.
Yogi Berra’s famous quote “Baseball is 90 per cent mental. The other half is physical” could have been made while under the influence of "hippie psychobabble". To confirm, if that was the case, we would have to pin down when Yogi said what he is claimed to have said. And I don’t know if that is even possible. Because in another less famous quote, Yogi said “I really didn't say everything I said,” creating another original. Yogi Berra, new coach of the Houston Astros, told Houston writers that he isn't responsible for all the comments attributed to him. Or, as only Yogi could put it: “I really didn't say everything I said.”
Is this why I've never read a decent book about soccer?
Don't know about books. But the best TV show about soccer is on Apple TV, It's worth the month fee just to watch the two seansons.
“Just let it happen. Be the ball.”
"Don't know about books. But the best TV show about soccer is on Apple TV, It's worth the month fee just to watch the two seansons."
Ted Lasso would be just as funny if was about curling or tiddlywinks.
Why do football (of any variant including "gridiron") or basketball not generate interesting books?
1. The activity in basketball and global football is non-stop. No one thinks the players have time for a Zen-like trance--such a thing would get you cut from the team. "Why are you shaking me, showing your annoyance? Weren't you seeing the same flashback I was?"
2. With gridiron football it's somehow all about the generals, not the soldiers. The Prussian side of the U.S. Yes, the star quarterbacks apparently "call their own plays," but there are always extremely limited options as to what to do at a particular point, and all those coaches (some up in the press box) have a lot to say. Fans spend the long minutes when the ball is dead "second-guessing the generals."
3. There must be something to say about beach volleyball--anything to see more of it on TV. I recently heard an old joke about Robert Redford: he was just a California kid who got lucky. If you throw a beachball at the beach, you hit ten Bob Redfords.
The best writers on any sport, or sports in general, are those who played the game and were actually pretty good at it. Most sportswriters writing today were the kids who who never played sports at all. This trend started in the late 1970s, but has reached its peak in today's world.
there are no good books about soccer because really nothing happens in Soccer. i think a sport that can Personalize the contest get inside the players head make better reading. The problem with soccer its mostly about kicking a ball around with no result. Basketball is a fairly repetitive sport dribble-shoot-rebound over and over. Golf is different. The courses are differnt. The holes are different. The shots are different. Even the greens are different, so you can even make putting not too boring. You can write about how the golfer felt and how he struggled to stay calm and concentrate. And the strategy he used on each shot.
American football should be interesting to write about. Especially from the QB/Coach perspective. As for tennis. There aren't a lot of great books on Tennis, because Tennis is very repetitive. Serve, hit ball. That's it. Its also a young man's sport. And every tennis court is the same except for minor things like the surface.
I don’t read about sports, so I can’t comment on the books, but baseball has the best movies. The only golf movie I can think of is a comedy.
Hi Ann:
What's become of your nephew the golfer? Sorry, I can't remember his name.
Other people have other theories about sports which give a different interpretation to "small balls."
Kakutani whiffed badly on The Art of War, which is not read and applied to “corporate backstabbing.” You don’t read it to “go to war” with your own employer or coworkers you read it to strategize how to outwit your competition. I mean, unless you’re a psycho who despises their coworkers and supervisors.
In baseball, "small ball" referrers to the bunt, the stolen base, the sacrifice fly, the intentional walk. In other words,... the boring Bidens of baseball.
Sports movies are usually dull. Why watch an actor play baseball or golf, when you can watch real people play the sport? And they usually look fake. Its also hard to care whether some fictional/fake sports team wins. Even the movie about Bobbie Jones was sorta dull because we all know what happened.
I found the criticism of "bagger vance" amusing. Its the standard elite go-to criticism of any movie/book that's doesn't toe the leftist party line. "That's so racist" or "Gosh, they didn't portray black people correctly". WHite liberals always pose as "The friend of the black man", its their big moral position. Even George Bush and Mitt Romney do it.
So I've got that going for me, which is nice
Be the ball
There's No Crying in Baseball
As numerous people here pointed out to me months ago;
there IS crying in basketball (and soccer (and football (sidelines, anyway))
Maybe, one of the reasons is people don't read (or write) good books about cry babies that hate america?
Wanna read a Great book? about Real men? (that LOVE america?)
Read Ball Four By Jim Bouton THAT is how you write a sports book (Alcohol, Drugs, and Groupies, like GOD intended)
As a golfer, I have read many of these types of books, and the more 'mystical' the theme, the more likely I am to put them down.
There is something great about golf...walking a beautiful course on a nice day with friends, etc.
But it's not church and your caddy will not be God, black or white.
Eugen Herrigel went on to become an ardent Nazi. So, in that respect, very similar to the modern woke sportswriter.
I liked Bagger Vance. It was about a young boy learning about life and it was entertaining.... Only the NYT could make it racial. Will Smith plays a human being who happens to be black like Matt Damon plays a guy with brown hair. There is no racial element at all.
I like it too.
I understand the "Magical African-American friend" argument, but it's part of the hyper-sensitivity of crazy lefties. A black drug-dealer character stereotypes blacks as socially destructive; a wise or noble character guiding the white protragonist stereotypes blacks as existing for the benefit of whites. You have to portray black folks in exactly the right way, on a dial measured in fractions of millimeters. And the standard constantly changes, by design, to ensure permanent offense.
Btw actor Bruce McGill's portrayal of early pro Walter Hagen is a standout. Golf fans probably get the most of out, knowing how amateurs were exalted and pros were looked down on back then.
"there are no good books about soccer"
People keep saying that. But there is The Ball Is Round by David Goldblatt. Serious history, not journalistic or "mystical" fluff. Is there a better book about any other sport?
I wonder if Mr. Plimpton had done a racial breakdown of the participalnts vs. ball diameter?
(Alcohol, Drugs, and Groupies, like GOD intended)
Don't forget shooting beavers from the roof of the Shoreham Hotel.
"There are superb books about golf ..."
I would like to categorically deny that this could conceivably be true. But I confess that I base that denial on absolutely no evidence, nor am I inclined to examine any.
Scheffler is the real deal.
Calm down. Talk to me when they start the back nine on Sunday.
Key and Peele do the best Magic Negro routine.
I could care less about playing with balls of any kind, but if you want a really wack theory look up Dr. Frances Cress Welsing's.
Short version: W/white inferiority is encoded in ball games. Big black balls are meant to be possessed, but little white balls are batted and clubbed away.
No kidding.
If the Theory is accurate, Marble Racing is about to explode.
Soccer: Fever Pitch, by Nick Hornby
'If the Theory is accurate, Marble Racing is about to explode.'
Pachinko!
This blog is starting to seem like six degrees of Will Smith.
I was going to comment on this topic with a mention of Paul Fussell's theory of sports ball size as related to social class, but I see I already did that on this very blog on August 2 of last year.
There is P.G. Wodehouse.
And then there is everybody else.
"Blue Fairways" is a good book about golf. Newspaper sports writer takes a sabbatical and travels Route 1 from the Canadian Border to Florida playing public courses with strangers.
My contribution to the genre is the Hacker Golf Mystery series (seven novels) featuring a snarky cynical golf writer for a major newspaper (yeah, they use to have those) who follows the Tour, someone gets murdered and Hacker solves the crime in the next to last chapter. They’re fun reads, and a reviewer once called me “the Dick Francis of golf” which thrilled me until I realized nobody remembers his books (mystery/thrillers set in British horse racing).
Post a Comment