August 13, 2017

I'm not horrified by "the latest horrifying subway trend."

If you have an app on your phone that lets anyone within 300 feet of you send you files because you've got the setting on "Everyone" (and not "Contacts Only" or "Receiving Off"), you should expect to receive dick pics. But the New York Post presents this as a "horrifying trend" story:
Britta Carlson, 28, was riding the uptown 6 train to a concert on July 27 when a mysterious message popped up on her smartphone.

“iPhone 1 would like to share a note with you,” read the note sent at 6:51 p.m. She hit “Accept” and was horrified by what she saw. “It was just a huge close-up picture of a disgusting penis,” said Carlson, of Bushwick, Brooklyn...."
She even hit "accept"!
... “It really felt like someone had actually just flashed me.... It never even crossed my mind that someone may use it to send stuff like that"....
How can you be 28 years old and capable of riding on the subway in New York City and have a mind that wouldn't imagine such a thing happening?

Yes, of course, it's fake news. It's click bait. And yet, I would encourage you to click just to see the photograph of the expression on Britta Carlson's face — as she holds up her iPhone and reenacts the "horror" that struck at 6:51 p.m. on July 27. I don't know if she re-drew her eyebrows into the oh-it's-so-disgusting position for the photo-session.

By the way, was the penis in the photograph diseased or deformed in some way, or was it called "a disgusting penis" simply because it was a penis? Penises don't deserve that kind of free-floating contempt.

70 comments:

Ralph L said...

Inciting a whole thread of penis jokes on a Sunday morning. For shame!

AReasonableMan said...

White supremacist kills white woman. Pretty sure he's not doing this right.

Ralph L said...

She's got a ring in her nose septum. That's more disgusting than the cheesiest foreskin.

Ann Althouse said...

The NY Post knows who you are. In the sidebar: "MORE ON: PERVERTS." You're the "more on" if you get caught in that rat hole.

David Begley said...

"Penises don't deserve that kind of free-floating contempt."

That's our girl.

Ralph L said...

Carlson clutched the phone to her chest and frantically scanned the subway car for the pervert but couldn’t place him.

tcrosse said...

I suppose a penis is disgusting if it causes one to gag on it.

Henry said...

According to female friends I know that use dating apps, penis picks are pretty much par for the course.

Henry said...

Did the disgusting penis have some money to move from an offshore banking account?

whitney said...

Ugh. Those eyebrows. That's a trend that needs some adjusting

Unknown said...

> Penises don't deserve that kind of free-floating contempt.

Thanks for standing up for me!

-- Big Dick Johnson

Ann Althouse said...

That photograph had me looking up the old "Seinfeld" episode where Uncle Leo's eyebrows get singed off and Elaine draws on new eyebrows, but they're in the "angry" shape... (Watch clip here.)

Henry said...

In an odd way, Ms. Carlson was lucky. She accepted a file from an unknown source. She could easily have compromised her entire phone. A pervert broadcasting a penis picture is the least horrifying threat.

campy said...

At least the messager wasn't wearing a penis-shaped hat.

Curious George said...

After seeing Britta Carlson, I'm guessing she could be a expert witness on disgusting penises.

Lem said...

The old Seinfeld episode?

Quaestor said...

Take:

1) Fundamentally unattractive female

Add:

1) Nose ring
10) black-painted fingernails
1) limp head of hair streaked with two or more colors not found in nature

Equals:

1) one genetic dead end

The picture is about as close as Britta will come to the real thing.

Laslo Spatula said...

She's only 28 and she already has Frumpy New Yorker face.

I am Laslo.

Lem said...

I suppose a time is coming when Seinfeld references will sound to people like I love Lucy references sounded to me all this time.

William said...

As courtship dances go, it's energy efficient, but I'm just as glad to have missed out on all the latest sex trends. Many of them are silly without having the saving grace of being obscene.......The only one that's the least bit appealing is cosplay, but the problem is there aren't that many women who can credibly wear a Wonder Woman outfit.

West Texas Intermediate Crude said...

The article states, about the app, " The victim must also be within Bluetooth range, which is approximately 328 feet."

Bluetooth range overestimated by a factor of 10X.
I'll discount the rest of the article also.
No layers of fact checkers at NYP.

Laslo Spatula said...

Give a man Technology and he will photograph and send pictures of his cock to strangers.

Women don't seem to pursue Technology this way.

This just proves Damore's point.

I am Laslo.

rhhardin said...

There's a traditional sound when a woman sees a penis in public, eeuuuuw.

They can be shamed out of it.

"That's the sound a woman makes when she sees a penis" works.

McG said...

If that's her "horrified" face, I don't want to see her "I'm so bored I wish someone would horrify me" face.

robinintn said...

At the link: "RELATED VIDEO 'This lady takes photos of penises and she likes it' "

Ann Althouse said...

A completely different "Seinfeld" about eyebrows:

Elaine: What, you don't think she's beautiful?

Jerry: I don't know, what's with the eyebrows?

Elaine: You know what your problem is? Your standards are too high.

Jerry: I went out with you.

Elaine: That's because my standards are too low. And by the way, you know,
women kill for eyebrows like that. Do you know that? I mean women pluck their
real eyebrows out of their head, one by one, until they're bald, Jerry. Bald
above the eyes! And then they paint in these eyebrows to look like that.

***

George: What about the skin? I need a good cheek, I like a good cheek.

Jerry: She's got a fine cheek.

George: Is there a pinkish hue?

Jerry: A pinkish hue?

George: Yes, a rosy glow.

Jerry: There's a hue. She's got great eyebrows, women kill to have her
eyebrows.

George: Who cares about eyebrows? Is she sweet? I like sweet. But not too
sweet, you could throw up from that.

Jerry: I don't think you'll throw up. *She* likes to throw up.

MadisonMan said...

As always, I'm curious how these stories end up in a paper. Who does this Britta know so that her sorry, sorry, tale ended up in print?

Who goes around broadcasting their naivete like this?

rhhardin said...

To be released film with something for men and women

As Dane gears up for the professional battle of his life, he learns his 10-year-old son has been diagnosed with cancer.

Violence plus fatal child disease.

My experience is that fatal diseases lead to very long stretches of bad acting.

Violence on the other hand is always entertaining.

It's hard to guess how the balance works out.

rhhardin said...

Penises all look alike, so if you don't like the design, you're stuck.

Pussies are all over the place in design but fortunately men don't care.

Fernandinande said...

I thought the horrifying subway trend would be riding in a subway.

rhhardin said...

Pussies are like uncropped Doberman ears. The show dogs crop them so there's no evolutionary standard for them in the breed. Lots of variety.

A penis however has to work to stay in the gene pool. Function standardizes form.

Bob Boyd said...

On the other hand, I don't expect an 'At the Trouser Trout Cafe' post to appear anytime soon.

I Have Misplaced My Pants said...

Carlson clutched the phone to her chest and frantically scanned the subway car for the pervert but couldn’t place him.

Thereby giving him exactly what he wanted. Dumbass.

Ignoring is a powerful thing

As is not accepting random files from anonymous sources

Laslo Spatula said...

The Guy Who Sends Pictures of His Cock...

I like my cock. I like the idea of women looking at my cock. So I take pictures, and I send the best ones to strangers...

Not every cock photo is a good cock photo. For instance, lighting is important: a shadowy cock can look menacing, and I don't want to scare anyone, I want them to find Joy in seeing my cock...

I shave the hair from around my cock because it looks better that way in pictures: I want to present the best of my cock. And I realize that when I send my cock photos to strangers that some might end up on the phone of a Gay Man: I am OK with that. A Gay Man looking at my cock does not make me Gay. It doesn't...

I realize some women may not want to receive photos of my cock, but that is probably because they have had bad experiences with cocks. My cock is different: I hope they eventually see that. My cock is NOT the same as the cock of your Asshole Ex-Boyfriend. My cock is NOT the same as the cock of your Daddy or Uncle or whatever...

However, sometimes sending a photo of my cock just isn't enough: that is why I've been experimenting with sending photos of my asshole. Again: lighting is important...

I am Laslo.

Barry Jacobs said...

Britta's 28 years have been hard on her. I'd have guessed her 10 yeas older.

Ralph L said...

The picture is about as close as Britta will come to the real thing.

OTOH, she's more likely a professional filter for watersports.
Think about that and eeuy.

Clyde said...

I think that most gals with purple hair and septum rings probably like kinky stuff like random dick pics.

stlcdr said...

In the days of heightened technology, ignorance is becoming more pronounced.

Indeed, I'd call ignorance is trendy. I recall a few years ago, NPR as well as other radio stations, reviewing Hawkings Black Holes book: they were proud to not understand it; that it was normal.

The march for science, or whatever it was, a few months ago demonstrates ignorance on a profound level.

Steven said...

The article states, about the app, " The victim must also be within Bluetooth range, which is approximately 328 feet."

Bluetooth range overestimated by a factor of 10X.


The reporter obviously Googled it and used the Google-highlighted result, which is a security firm quoting the Class 1 (100mW) Bluetooth broadcast distance of 100 meters (which converts to 328.084 feet).

Of course, a mobile phone, or a Bluetooth accessory, is almost always a Class 2 (2.5 mW) device with a range of 10 meters or a Class 3 (1 mW) with even worse range.

stlcdr said...

"Carlson clutched the phone to her chest and frantically scanned the subway car for the pervert but couldn’t place him."

Penises on foreheads; you New Yorkers are a weird bunch.

Clyde said...

I'm a lot more horrified by the Bryce Harper knee injury story on the same page. Hopefully it's not serious. I don't need to lose my star rightfielder on my team!

Left Bank of the Charles said...

Blaming the victim, her phone was asking for it?

Lem said...

Netflix has a new flick where a guy keeps coming to naked in an elevator the on day of his wedding. And he keeps reliving that nightmare every one hour. Looked like a cross between four weddings and a funeral and Groundhog Day. Starting one of the Wayans brothers.

Etienne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Bad Lieutenant said...


AReasonableMan said...
White supremacist kills white woman. Pretty sure he's not doing this right.
8/13/17, 7:56 AM

See, he's not prejudiced!

I dunno, if she was really a Wobbly I'd stand him to a Coke.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Blogger rhhardin said...
Penises all look alike, so if you don't like the design, you're stuck.

Don't be ridiculous. I don't know what you mean by alike but certainly women can tell the difference between one and another.

Pussies are all over the place in design but fortunately men don't care.
8/13/17, 8:43 AM

It's all the same car, just different tailfins. Of course some are full-sized and some are subcompact 😁.

mockturtle said...

Ignoring is a powerful thing

Absolutely, Misplaced! The most powerful tool we have in many situations.

Bad Lieutenant said...

Just remember, ladies, if he asks you what you think:

"Looks like a penis, only smaller."

mockturtle said...

Good one, BL! ;-D

John Nowak said...

The reporter obviously Googled it and used the Google-highlighted result, which is a security firm quoting the Class 1 (100mW) Bluetooth broadcast distance of 100 meters (which converts to 328.084 feet).

And the reporter gets extra stupid points for not understanding significant digits.

"About 100m" means "about 300 feet."

Mary Beth said...

Why does Apple hate women? They should be protecting them from men like Google does./s

Etienne said...

She's kind of a plain looking woman with colored hair. The guy must have been desperate.

Laslo Spatula said...

The Guy Who Sends Pictures of His Cock...

Sure, I still send strangers photos of my cock, but I have to admit I've become more enamored with sending photos of my asshole...

Photographing your asshole is a lot trickier than photographing your cock. Do you shave your butt cheeks? How far do you spread your ass cheeks to view the asshole? Is spreading them too far seen as vulgar...?

And your balls: do you want your balls in the picture, or just the asshole itself? Without the balls is it still obvious that it is a man's asshole? I think it is obvious that I have a man's asshole, but I would not like people to feel that the photo is inconclusive...

And -- of course -- there is the issue of getting the proper lighting. A dark photo of your asshole could suggest problems with hygiene, and I take great care with my ass hygiene. I want those who see the photos of my asshole to know that my asshole is clean: sending photos of a dirty asshole is sick, and I hope that kind of thing only happens in Eastern Europe......

I am Laslo.

mockturtle said...

LOL, Laslo!

Laslo Spatula said...

The Guy Who Sends Pictures of His Cock...

Lately I have been considering sending women photographs of objects inserted into my ass. This would be a big step, however; unlike most American men I have never inserted an object into my ass...

I picture it as being a Mapplethorpe kind of thing, but without the gay overtones. And I am not sure what women would want to see inserted into my ass: a sex toy? A cucumber? A candle? A broomstick...?

Maybe this is what Mapplethorpe would have done with today's technology: he would send photos of objects inserted in his ass to strangers' phones.After all, this is MY art: THIS is how I express myself...

Perhaps I will check out some gay websites: not to look at gay sex, just to get advice on how to put things in your ass. I'm sure technique is important...

I am Laslo.

exhelodrvr1 said...

"Penises don't deserve that kind of free-floating contempt."

Sounds like a Macy's Day parade "entry."

mockturtle said...

While I don't find penises 'disgusting', there is something repellent about a disembodied one. They are nicer when attached to a beautifully built body.

mockturtle said...

Like Oliver Reed in this nude wrestling scene from the film adaptation of D.H. Lawrence's Women in Love:

Woo-woo!

Laslo Spatula said...

"Like Oliver Reed in this nude wrestling scene from the film adaptation of D.H. Lawrence's Women in Love:"

For you, mockturtle:

37 Male Actors Who Have Done Full Frontal

I am Laslo.

YoungHegelian said...

Okay, this is a perfect time for me to drop in my "Man" jokes. Or, as I call them when I tell them, my gender-traitor jokes. So, ladies, here's some jokes for the next girls night out. Start memorizing ----- now!

Q: Why is a man like linoleum?

A: Because if you lay it right the first time, you can walk all over it for years.


Q: What do you call the useless skin at the end of a penis?

A: A Man. (that one's downright mean, isn't it?)


Q: Why do guys name their penis?

A: Because they don't like taking orders from a total stranger. (my personal favorite of the three)

ALP said...

Can we apply Ann's 'science about women' rule here?

Man sends dick pic to woman: DISGUSTING

Woman sends vag pic to man: A thing of beauty?

In the interest of fairness, let's contemplate a man getting a vag pic, and proclaiming it 'disgusting'. Discuss. Make that man a Gold Star Gay if necessary to make it more credible.

YoungHegelian said...

@ALP,

This clueless woman tried to turn the tables, & was actually surprised by what happened.

I'm sorry, did this woman just not talk to any men about this before she tried it? Does she not realize that there's a multi-billion dollar industry based on electronically shipping out images of women's body parts?

Where do these people come from?

Kevin said...

Penises don't deserve that kind of free-floating contempt.

Save it for the half of society that finds itself attached to a penis.

mockturtle said...

Thanks, Laslo. I didn't see Oliver Reed on that list--but he's dead now. My sister and I both had a thing for him before he drank himself into a bloated blob of incoherence. I have to say most of those guys on the list have that young boy look that I don't find at all attractive.

holdfast said...

What a dried up old hag - I wouldn't even sext her with a picture of Cook's dick.

Ralph L said...

Laslo, lots of lube and nothing sharp or textured. Veiny OK.

At my college eating house Christmas party, I gave a girl a pig's tail that looked like a penis enough to fool her for a second. Now I'd be arrested, but she laughed after falling to the floor in dismay.

mockturtle said...

At my college eating house Christmas party, I gave a girl a pig's tail that looked like a penis enough to fool her for a second. Now I'd be arrested, but she laughed after falling to the floor in dismay.

Some women have a sense of humor. And then there are feminists.

exhelodrvr1 said...

The penis mightier!

Night Owl said...

"...was it called "a disgusting penis" simply because it was a penis? Penises don't deserve that kind of free-floating contempt."

The problem is with the word "penis". It's such a tinny sounding word. "Penis pics"-- ew ew ew!

Now call them "dick pics", or "cock shots", and there's some nice, woody sounding phrases.

EMyrt said...

YoungHegelian said...

@ALP,

This clueless woman tried to turn the tables, & was actually surprised by what happened.

LOL, thanks. This is one of those cases where the Golden Rule breaks down.