December 29, 2016

"What’s 'great' about this look is that it combines so many awful red carpet trends..."

"... the overuse of black lace, the 'I just survived an attack' aesthetic, and of course, the proliferation of Barbie Crotch. It’s a trifecta of ugly and no one in 2016 managed to top it, as far as we’re concerned. Congrats, girl."

41 comments:

Unknown said...

My eyes! It burns!

Earnest Prole said...

Didn't we already do Barbie-Crotch yesterday?

Alice Aforethought said...

"Greasy pustules" on Beyoncé?
What an image.

Original Mike said...

What a strange institution the red carpet is.

William said...

Is a merkin an appropriate accessory for the Barbie crotch look or is fur still out?

Leslie Graves said...

Is Tori Spelling's dress on backwards? Now I can't think about anything else. I vote "yes", for the record.

kentuckyliz said...

Beyonce's dress looks like the images from my last colonoscopy.

She is hiding her bush or mons pubis/labia behind her purse.

EDH said...

Selma Blair looked better with some meat on her bones.

Rocketeer said...

How many condoms were killed so Beyoncé's dress could be made?

exhelodrvr1 said...

But Steve Martin's tweet was unacceptable. Tweet, twat, Barbie crotch, carpet ...

MayBee said...

That whole page. LOL

tcrosse said...

It could be worse. They could have dressed Hillary.

HoodlumDoodlum said...

Ha, that made me remember the phrase "scroll down fug!"

MadisonMan said...

Is Tori Spelling's dress on backwards?

It really does look that way.

tds said...

Should be "2016: Bottom five" instead of "Top five"

rehajm said...

...is fur still out?

Apparently the preferred adjectives are: smooth, hairless, flat, and plastic.

rehajm said...

Most embarrassing moment: Hailee Steinfeld emerges from the powder room and her dress isn't tucked into her pantyhose.

traditionalguy said...

I bet these noble Hollywooders are going out in public looking like Syrian Refugees trying to make them feel better, like a group cutting off their hair in solidarity with the Chemotherapy sufferers.

I like to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Curious George said...

Tori Spelling's dress is hideous. But you're glad it's there.

J. Farmer said...

Wow, that was bad. But for my money, Selma Blair's was by far the worst.

Wilbur said...

It reminds me of a lot of modern art. The designers are competing in a race to create the most anti-fashion fashion possible.

Face palm.

geoffb said...

Is Tori in someway related to Kerry?

Bill Peschel said...

Fuck Tom and Lorenzo. They banned me after a couple comments, some of them positive.

Perhaps they objected to pointing out that Julianne Moore shouldn't wear dresses that accentuate her flabby skin.

I'll bet Laslo doesn't get banned. *grumble*

mezzrow said...

Laslo bans. Laslo does not "get banned."

There are rules for Laslo, but they are only for Laslo's eyes.

Titus said...

Yes dolls-fur is out on both men and women.

You can have a little patch or glaze of fur just over the cunt or cock.

Otherwise, fur is a major faux pas.

Unknown said...

We all know that Lazlo is actually Wonkette in disguise, crying out for a return of male's appreciating women and women being appreciated by them.

Right? Lazlo just has to be a repressed feminist pleading out for help.

--Vance

RNB said...

Why isn't 'Barbie Crotch' body-shaming of cis-women of a certain physiognomy?

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

I wonder whether the Dalai Lama concerns himself with things such as this.

FullMoon said...

There is somrthing happening here, what it is ain't exactaly clear..

Are the celebrities paid to wear this stuff?
Are the designers laughing inside at the celebs who are afraid to say "no way"?

No doubt a trained eye can appreciate some of these designs, like a wine snob appreciates fine wines, but a poorly educated guy who still buys Gallo burgundy in a gallon jug just don't get it.

Mac McConnell said...

Ladies, two words "Ralph Lauren". Get some class, get away from the Skankedelic fashions.

JaimeRoberto said...

Huh, I wonder where the director of the Hunger Games got the idea to make the denizens of the capital city dress so strangely.

buwaya said...

"Huh, I wonder where the director of the Hunger Games got the idea to make the denizens of the capital city dress so strangely."

Bingo. There is a deeply hidden conservative thread through that whole series. Its more interesting than initial impressions might indicate.

Rae said...

I'd say stop asking gay misogynists to dress you, but what do I know? There's a whole sub-economy supporting this stuff.

Krumhorn said...

I look at it like this. The chic elite have had a tuff year, and their style choices often reflect deep despair. As a result, Trump has already delivered on a key campaign promise about The Wall. There will be no expense for construction materials since the day after the election, millions of lefties shit a brick.

That should about do it.

- Krumhorn

Birches said...

Wow giant condom Beyonce! Yikes.

exhelodrvr1 said...

And none of these designers will be working with Melania Trump, right?

Donald Douglas said...

I can't believe anyone would wear those monstrous rags.

Phil 3:14 said...

What's worse than "The Emperor has no clothes"?

The Emperor has designer clothes.

wildswan said...

It looks as if fashion today requires: appear at first glance to be wearing underwear, or colored sheets or nothing. Then, be sure to plasticize the entire body so that you won't be too different from the robot sex doll who is your chief competitor. Victorians painted women in this way if you need guidance and in fact if you look at how Victorians painted women in large "historical" paintings about imperial Rome or the "Orient" you can get ahead of the fashion curve. Like Edward Poynter or Gerome.

epador said...

I haven't seen so many awful home made prom dresses since, er uh, the Prom.

Lewis Wetzel said...

I am a "tall American." Whenever I see one of these runway pics of a female celebrity, I can't help but think that they are about a foot shorter than I am. How tall is Madonna? Maybe 5'4"? I was 5'4" when I was eleven years old.