December 11, 2016

That time Jennifer Lawrence scratched her ass on a rock....

It's big news... because the rock (in Hawaii) is regarded (by some) as sacred and she seemed to think the story was amusing....
"You're not supposed to sit on them because you're not supposed to expose your genitalia to them... I, however, was in a wetsuit for this whole shoot so - oh my God, they were so good for butt-itching. One rock that I was butt-scratching on ended up coming loose. It was a giant boulder and it rolled down this mountain and almost killed our sound guy."
She had to apologize — not for almost killing a guy or thinking it was funny to almost kill a guy, but for calling attention to the religious significance of the rocks and then going for the humor of an ass-scratching fiasco. 
Marcia Ogasawara, from Hawaii, said she didn't find it funny, adding: "If she left the part of it being sacred out, then I wouldn't care; but knowing native Hawaiians built that for some significance and her talking like it's not a big deal, it's very disappointing."
What blinded Lawrence to the problem with her anecdote was the belief that if you are self-deprecating, there's some kind of immunity. Or so she tells it. I think it's more that if you've been given enough reason to think you are adorably lovable and you take yourself lightly, eschewing arrogance, everyone will receive what you have to give in the spirit you intended.

65 comments:

Phunctor said...

Ass chewing arrogance on display.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

I think it's more that if you've been given enough reason to think you are adorably lovable and you take yourself lightly, eschewing arrogance, everyone will receive what you have to give in the spirit you intended.

So, does everyone around here receive what you have to give in the spirit you intended?

Bob Ellison said...

Jennifer, you silly rabbit. Just shout, "Fake news!"

tcrosse said...

Lucky rock.
So, which religions do we have to be Sensitive about, and which ones can we mock ?
This is a rhetorical question, because I already know the answer.

Bill said...

Is her ass not sacred?

rhhardin said...

Rock, scissors and ass.

rhhardin said...

I have three DVDs with Jennifer Lawrence and she's indistinguishable from any actress, looking at the titles and not remembering anything about her.

Owen said...

The unbearable arrogance of taking yourself lightly.

rehajm said...

The people criticizing her by using white as a pejorative are priceless.

rhhardin said...

Selling Honolulu for beads was probably the mistake.

Owen said...

"eschewing arrogance..."

Oh, Professor, I see what you did there but not soon enough. Phunctor nailed it.

rhhardin said...

Not a cairn the world.

EDH said...

"That time Jennifer Lawrence scratched her ass on a rock...."

Ken Bone was unavailable for comment?

"I saw her butt hole. I liked it."

rehajm said...

I learned in my youth disturbing Hawaiian idolary will bring misfortune and bad luck but if you bring the disturbed idol to Vincent Price you will get to date your mother.

Or something...

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Isn't this some sort of micro or macro aggression on the Hawaiian culture? Insensitivity and, of course, white privilege being flaunted in the faces of the native Hawaiians!!!!

Certainly Jennifer Lawrence should be immediately called to be in front of the political correctness board and made to apologize for her cultural insensitive actions and her dreaded white privilege. Perhaps she should be made to wear a dunce cap with her crimes against correct think prominently posted.

She MUST be punished!

Owen said...

rhhardin: "not a cairn the world."

Go to your room!

rhhardin said...

I bought no black lava ashtrays in the 60s and 70s owing to deep respect for cultural appropriation.

Birkel said...

This is not the soap opera narrative you are looking for.

rhhardin said...

Barbara Feldon reported ass contusions in a slide down a slope in a Get Smart episode, but it wasn't from anything Indian.

boycat said...

Pretty young blond Haole women are always hated by native Hawaiians regardless of what they might actually do.

AllenS said...

Jennifer Lawrence was one of those that had their nude photos hacked. Doing research, I could not find one picture of her ass with scratches. So, maybe it didn't happen.

Fernandinande said...

Hawaii's sacred rocks are rather pitiful.
http://www.to-hawaii.com/sacred-places.php
https://www.dreamstime.com/photos-images/hawaii-sacred-rocks.html

Simon Kenton said...

"That in the slim's but a witty word, which in the fat's impertinence."

-- Sayers

boycat said...

White people who spend any time in Hawaii learn very quickly what it's like to be hated for the color of your skin.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

@ Allen

You just have to try harder. MORE research!

EDH said...

That time Jennifer Lawrence scratched her ass on a rock....

"If you untie us, professor, we're sure we can help you find the exact spot!"

JAORE said...

"What blinded Lawrence to the problem with her anecdote was the belief that if you are self-deprecating, there's some kind of immunity."

No, what blinded her was the absolute knowledge that if you are beautiful, liberal and famous there is total immunity.

Ambrose said...

I expect Jennifer Lawrence opposed the Dakota pipeline through "sacred ground".

Sebastian said...

Wait, isn't the whole point of religion to help us scratch our sorry asses?

jimbino said...

There is no such thing as a sacred rock or anything else and religious and superstitious people have no particular right to romp around the world placing nature or artifacts out of bounds to the rational among us by declaring them "sacred."

Biff said...

The professor wrote, "...everyone will receive what you have to give in the spirit you intended."

While I have little sympathy for Lawrence's general and specific boorishness, our host's comment reminds me of something that has been stewing in the back of my mind for a little while.

I think that perhaps the largest change in our public culture and discourse over the last 25-30 years is the death of the presumption of goodwill, or, alternately, that goodwill simply is irrelevant. I started to notice it in the late 80s and early 90s, when "political correctness" entered the vernacular, it accelerated after the 2000 election, and became dominant with the advent of Facebook and social media.

I think that it used to be much easier to discuss sensitive topics and to disagree with others, as both sides in a debate usually would assume that, at worst, the other party was misguided or had incomplete information...or at least they would behave that way. Now, every disagreement and every potential offense seems to be embraced as an opportunity for excommunication from polite society.

"No quarter!" is the motto of our age.

sdharms said...

she doesn't take herself lightly, she takes herself seriously and thinks others do. Most of us have no regard for her and could care less if she lives or dies. Her disregard for others matters a lot and says volumes about her. Also "almost killing the sound guy" evidently didn't make much of an impression on her. After all it is all about HER.

Sebastian said...

"There is no such thing as a sacred rock or anything else." But since there is, I have a suggestion for DJT: declare the first mile inside the southern border sacred. Anyone found trampling on our sacred ground will be expelled forthwith.

Real American said...

So bakers and florists will just declare the fruits of their labor as sacred and all of the leftists with their panties in a bunch over a girl sitting on a rock will start respecting their beliefs, no?

David Begley said...

The most important rock in the world is the focus of the largest religion in the world, The Religion of Peace™.

Lewis Wetzel said...

Worshiping rocks. They'll get far with that.
I live in Hawaii. The so-called "native Hawaiians" leverage the law and culture to control the actions of others and to privilege themselves.
What is a "native Hawaiian" anyhow? The bloodline has been so diluted by intermarriage there aren't many people with even an eighth part native Hawaiian blood left. Current proposals -- which will have the force of law, and bestow certain legal rights, are that having a single ancestor who was a resident of these islands before January 20, 1778, makes you Hawaiian. At twenty years per generation, that means a person could have 1/4096 Hawaiian blood and be considered, legally, "Hawaiian."

Unknown said...

What blinded her was that she is a lefty and a celebrity. The lefty part is bigoted toward any religious artifacts. The celebrity knows that she is allowed to do anything..grab the rocks by the crotch or anything she wants.

Lewis Wetzel said...

The Native Hawaiian culture was gone by the mid nineteenth century. The people who were resident here in 1778 when Captain Cook discovered the place came from the Marquesas sometime between 700 and 1400 AD. They were a neolithic, Polynesian people. When cultural interest in the "native Hawaiians" was revived, in the late 19th century, anthropologists had to reconstruct a lot of it from scratch, using Maori cultural norms as a template.
The Hawaiian word for the planet Mars is supposed to be "Mea." But when you try to find out where the word came from, you have a record of a nineteenth century anthropologist asking an old Hawaiian what the planet Mars was called in his youth. The word "mea" means "red", the color of Mars as it appears in our skies. Did the old timer just say the color, or did he know what the old Hawaiians called the planet? Who knows?
These days the state and Hawaiian groups are trying to revive the language. but so much of it is unknown, and its pronunciation varied from district to district. The concept of a uniform, regularized language is a modern, western idea. How can it be Hawaiian to speak "standard Hawaiian"?

jaydub said...

If she had retrieved the rock and immersed it in a container of piss she could have received an artistic exemption for her blasphemy. But, her real sin to the Hawaiians was being born white, and the Hawaiians will never forgive that.

Owen said...

All these grievances are claimed as outputs of various theories of white oppression, Western imperialism, the 1% being appropriative (why didn't she take some of the sacred rock home as a souvenir?).

But all the theories are just stories to beguile and conceal.

Follow the money.

Lewis Wetzel said...

The Hawaiian nobility, two hundred years ago, deforested hundreds of square miles of Haawaii's land and introduced cattle ranching, all in exchange for the white man's gold. The Hawaiian nobility was genuinely Hawaiian, in culture and in blood. They grew up knowing nothing else.
But a 21st century Hawaiian studies major, with 1/64 Hawaiian blood, raised in a bourgeois home in Haleiwa, knows that it wasn't really Hawaiian for the ancient nobles to clear cut the land, sell the wood, and bring in the cattle?

Howard said...

Everyone knows the lava rock curse was broken when Hawaiian princes brought Santa Cruz redwood surfboards to The Islands.
Over a century ago, three Hawaiian princes surfed Santa Cruz’s San Lorenzo River mouth — the first instance of the sport on the U.S. mainland — riding “o’lo” boards shaped from Santa Cruz redwood. When the princes returned to Hawaii around 1890, they took the nearly 20-foot, 200-pound boards with them, kicking off a 40-year era of redwood surfing in Hawaii.

CJ said...

Oh Jennifer. This is why you never kowtow to the SJWs. They will turn on you, eventually, but you'll have alienated all those people who might have defended you.

I knew she was a See You Next Tuesday when she gave that guy a lecture when she was presenting and he had the temerity to be on his iphone when she was at the podium speaking.

https://media3.giphy.com/media/ynRNpI3e6LcwE/200_s.gif

Left Bank of the Charles said...

No ass scratching story from Laslo?

William said...

What if Jennifer Lawrence scratched her butt on one of those Ten Commandment monuments? Would that be covered under the freedom of religion clause? How about if she scratched her butt on a monument to a Confederate general? Isn't that why the first amendment is enshrined in our constitution? That said, I would caution her against scratching her butt on the MLK Memorial. You've got to keep up with what's sacred and what's profane. These things change, and it is the job of a celebrity to keep on top of such things. Perhaps she could regain some credibility among conservatives by going to Kremlin Square and scratching her butt on the Lenin monument. It would probably be a step too far to scratch her butt on the John Reed memorial. That would be disrespectful to the memory of Warren Beatty......Perhaps she could consult with her pr people and go on a world butt scratching tour to bring into disrepute those monuments which deserve to be desecrated. I would love to see her visit that cemetery in Paris and scratch her butt on Jim Morrison's tombstone.

Rhythm and Balls said...

I like how you mix celebrity tabloid news in with all the legal and political stuff. It makes the blog seem more serious.

surfed said...

Hawaii - the most racist place in the United States. Where you're just a fucking haole and you always will be.

ThreeHeaded Throop said...

If I was accused of disrespecting some primitive horseshit to do with, say, a sacred rock I would just say, after I got done laughing, it's a rock, dumbass, so try not to lag any further in back of the current century than you can help.

This kind of thing wouldn't be a thing if everyone's horseshit was equally liable to be called horseshit. Come to think on it, this sentiment is, its self, out dated. I may be lagging.

Achilles said...

Dumb story about a dumb person. =/

Opinh Bombay said...

Am I the only one finding humor in the Ogasawara?

Paul Snively said...

Proof that it's possible for both parties in a disagreement to be significant dunderheads.

I think Jennifer Lawrence is a talented actress, and I've appreciated her self-deprecating goofy schtick in the past. But on several recent occasions, it's started to seem less like self-deprecating goofiness and more like genuine I-don't-take-anything-seriously-and-OMG-why-do-you? That kind of thinking eventually leads to a fractured future.

Big Mike said...

By the time Hollywood scriptwriters get through with it, the boulder will have taken out an entire Hawaiian village and released a vengeful spirit which will stalk Ms. Lawrence and kill her friends one by one except for a young native bus boy whom she had befriended and who will prove to be the descendant of a powerful shaman-kahuna. The bus boy will put on long-buried sacred regalia and fight the spirit and finally win (after Jennifer has had a few serious close calls and loud screams).

Lewis Wetzel said...

One of the uglier aspects of the current push for Hawaiian sovereignty is that it is all blood-based. It is a one-drop rule. The Hawaiian Kingdom was in effect continuously until 1891. In 1891, there were many subjects of the Hawaiian Kingdom, immigrants and the children and grandchildren of immigrants from Asia and Europe, legally indistinguishable, in those days, from people with native Hawaiian ancestry. Under current proposals, the descendants of these people are no more Hawaiian than any haole who steps off an airplane today.

Fritz said...

There's a pretty decent chance the Hawaiians made up the sacred rock stuff up on the spot.

Joe said...

Hawaiians are more full of shit about their alleged mythos than any other peoples on the earth.

n.n said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fen said...

because the rock (in Hawaii) is regarded (by some) as sacred and she seemed to think the story was amusing....

Then she discovered it was symbolic of the Earth Mother and was a precursor religion to Global Warming. So she sacrificed herself into a volcano as penance.

A happy ending after all.

Fen said...

Jennifer Lawrence twerking her ass on Mother Nature's nose. The horror.

walter said...

Those sound carts are filled with pricey, sometimes rare equipment.
What an ass.

Fen said...


I think that perhaps the largest change in our public culture and discourse over the last 25-30 years is the death of the presumption of goodwill, or, alternately, that goodwill simply is irrelevant. I started to notice it in the late 80s and early 90s, when "political correctness" entered the vernacular, it accelerated after the 2000 election, and became dominant with the advent of Facebook and social media.

I think the change is due ti direct experience.

Mine was during the Florida 2000 recounts. We were protesting outside the Vice President's office. Liberals were counter-protesting. I remember one of them shouting "racist sexist homophobe" at me. I was stunned by it (newbie). When I looked at him, he motioned "come on, come at me" as if he was trying to get me to start a fight. And he was. He wasn't misinformed, he wasn't making a mistake in good faith, he was deliberately trying to egg me on so that the CNN crews could get video of "Republican violence".

After a few of those, you stop giving them the benefit of doubt. Especially the marxists, as this kind of manipulation is their usual MO. In hindsight, I wouldn't be at all surprised to learn that he had been paid to instigate violence.

Fen said...

That was the day I realized these people were not acting in good faith. They were cheating and should be treated as cheaters. It's why they pretend we are Hitler, so they can justify the means.

Fen said...

The media did the same thing with Trump. I forget who, but one of their stars called out to the rest of the MSM that since Trump was Hitler Incarnate, their usual rules about "journalistic ethics" (LOL) no longer applied.

urbane legend said...

Where is this Hawaii? Did they lose to Auburn? Who is Jennifer Lawrence, anyway?

Thorley Winston said...

I learned in my youth disturbing Hawaiian idolary will bring misfortune and bad luck but if you bring the disturbed idol to Vincent Price you will get to date your mother.

Step-mother actually ;)

Thorley Winston said...


Instead of self-deprecation, Jennifer Lawrence should have instead said that she intentionally loosened the rock so it would crush the sound guy’s station as a protest against the gender pay gap in Hollywood.

Although considering how much more she’s being paid than the male lead in her current film, I’m not sure that complaint carries as much weight as it once did.