December 4, 2016

Madonna is "ashamed, ashamed to be an American, ashamed to be a human being, really."

It was a charitable event, held in Miami, to raise money to help the poor in Malawi. It cost $5,000 to get in and they were auctioning off glitzy Bulgari and Swarovski things, so the audience was rich. Madonna was assuming that the rich hate Trump. At one point, she said she'd "slept in Donald Trump's bed" — ha, ha — just a photo shoot... in Palm Beach... for Versace. And:
"I just want to mention that his sheets were not 100 percent Egyptian cotton. Yes. Cheap slumlord. Here's what I’m wondering: Do you think he's going to have nice sheets in the White House? Here's one thing I’m sure of. They won't be Egyptian cotton because we all know how he feels about Muslims, don't we?"
So... snobbery about bedsheets, deployed for the sake of the poor in Malawi — with confidence that the audience hates Trump. But Trump got elected, and not by the people in that audience. If they laughed, was it at all uneasy laughing, aware of how out of touch they are with their own fellow citizens? Or do they simply regard those people outside the room as shameful and those in the room as the good people... as they throw money at people much farther away — people who can't possibly have any effect on them — and walk home with a crystal-encrusted gown or a pavé diamond necklace?

And somebody tell Madonna: "Egyptians... are among the world’s happiest people about the Trump win."

60 comments:

donald said...

Madonna is what you call a shrill, nasty, skanky ho.

I think I just summed everything about it succinctly.

rhhardin said...

Get your cotton-pickin hands off my gin. - Eli Whitney

Sydney said...

Democrats- party of the smug.

campy said...

Madonna is a human being?

I learn something new every time I read this blog.

William said...

She keeps gaining in wisdom and gravitas. I don't think we could have young women like Lena Dunham if Madonna had not Blazed the trail. I hope she and Sean Penn get back together. They just look so right together.

MayBee said...

She should have an affair with the guy who is going to change his haircut now that Trump has been elected.
They are two true heroes.

Laslo Spatula said...

Ashamed to be American: perhaps that's why she has developed the faux-British accent over the years.

Anyone who once posed nude in 'art' photos with Vanilla Ice has long lost their Ashamed Card.

I am Laslo.

Annie said...

I'll have to double check but the 100% Egyptian cotton sheets that I have, are not marked as such on the tags. Nor is the thread count. Maybe the 800 ct does. I have 400 and 800 ct. I prefer the 400 for it's lightness. Once one gets to 800ct and above, how does one even tell and who cares?

And I thought I was a snob for requiring my sheets to be made in India. The softness. Yes, there is a difference.

Does Madonna donate Egyptian cotton sheets to the people of Malawi? No? Then maybe she should shut her pie hole.


Laslo Spatula said...
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Laslo Spatula said...
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Doug said...

It must be very sad to become irrelevant.

donald said...

She had a bunch of shit pumped into her ass for that show. Seriously.

Curious George said...

Cut her some slack. It's tough to be a 58 year old whore.

Big Mike said...


If she wants to go I certainly won't stop her.

lemondog said...

HA! Andy got it wrong!

HA!

tcrosse said...

Turning reluctant Trump voters into enthusiastic ones, one public utterance at a time.

whitney said...

Right after the election, one of the many articles bemoaning Clintons loss said, I'll paraphrase, "I went to bed thinking I was on the side of Katniss in the hunger games and woke up to find I was one of the weirdly dressed people in the city"

I thought that was astute. I wish I'd payed attention to who wrote because apparently they were the only one of their party to think that way.

Michael McClain said...

She needs to concentrate on keeping her promise of oral sex to all those who voted for the Hildebeast. She could give the option of with or without dentures.

Fabi said...

Once you get sheets above 500 thread count, you'd better be damned sure they're made from extra-long staple (Egytian or Sea Island) cotton -- otherwise it's garbage.

Connie said...

"If they laughed, was it at all uneasy laughing, aware of how out of touch they are with their own fellow citizens? Or do they simply regard those people outside the room as shameful and those in the room as the good people... as they throw money at people much farther away — people who can't possibly have any effect on them — and walk home with a crystal-encrusted gown or a pavé diamond necklace?"

I have always been struck by the intense self-absorption that accompanies this brand of elitist. I doubt they even think about the Malawi (or who/whatever the cause du jour is). This is all about them. They joke and laugh because the only people that matter are those in the bubble with them. The rest are beneath consideration.

Laslo Spatula said...

“Hello, Celebrity Sex Doll Enterprises, how may I help you?”

“Uh… yeah. I just purchased one of your products and — well — I’m kinda disappointed, really.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, sir. Which model was it?”

“The Madonna Model.”

“That is one of our finest Replications. What seems to be the problem?”

“Well, I thought the Doll would be… the ‘younger’ Madonna.”

“Sir, Madonna is 58 years old. We spared no expense it making the details perfect.”

“I think that’s my problem. I feel like I’m having relations with my Grandmother.”

“I can see where that could be of concern to some. But she is in great shape for her age.”

“Maybe. It’s just that she’s… sinewy. Sinewy and bony. It’s kinda a turn-off.”

“Our engineers are devoted to accuracy, sir.”

“And the skin on her face seems to be stretched too tight. She’s already tearing on the forehead.”

“Our technicians can surely repair that.”

“Can they fix her hip, too?”

“Is there something wrong with her hip?”

“Yeah: it broke when I had sex with her.”

“Well, you have to be careful with the Older Dolls, sir: they can’t take the pounding like a younger model.”

“And she won’t give a blow-job.”

“There IS something wrong there; the Madonna Model is well programmed for oral sex. What happens when you put her in Oral Mode?”

“She just… talks. She talks about politics, grudges, old boyfriends, old times — she just goes on and on.”

“Sir, that is correct functioning. You have to wait for her to stop talking before she commits to Blow-Job Function.”

“How long does THAT take?”

“An hour, sometimes two, sometimes more: the programming is randomized to give a unique experience each time.”

“You mean I have to listen to her for over an hour just to get to the blow-job?”

“Again: our engineers are devoted to accuracy, sir.”

“And the Blow-Job Function — from what I read in the manual it doesn’t seem to have a Swallow function.”

“That is correct, sir. The Madonna Model NEVER swallows, she only Snowballs.”

“Snowballs?”

“Yes, sir. You can look it up on the Internet if you like.”

“Is it possible that I can send her back and exchange her for a different model? Maybe Kate Upton?”

“From what you have said, sir, she already has a torn forehead and a broken hip. I’m afraid we cannot do a New Exchange for a Model in that condition.”

“This is so disappointing…”

“Well, here is something I CAN do: I can make the exchange for a refurbished Lena Dunham Model: she is younger.”

“That isn’t quite what I had in mind…”

“I assure you, she is still in good condition. Her only malfunction is her Speaking Mode doesn’t work.”

“She can’t speak? Ever?”

“That is correct, sir.”

“I think we have a deal…”


I am Laslo.

Comanche Voter said...

Ah Madonna--going full Dixie Chicks. Sad to say that my staying away from Madonna concerts won't cut into her revenue. I haven't thought about her (or listened to her) for 25 years now. Just another has been to me. Maybe she has a devoted fan following but it ain't me babe.

Quaestor said...

At long, long last Madonna and I agree with one another. We stand on common ground. We meet eye to eye. We concur. We are of one mind, and we are as one man — or one man and one fem-thing. We must must soar hand-in-paw to the summit of the loftiest aiguille of Bay City, Michigan to proclaim our oneness, our harmony.

The words and deeds of Donald Trump since the election have drawn me inexorably to this step, to this juncture, to this crossroads. I must shout it.

I TOO AM ASHAMED THAT MADONNA IS A HUMAN BEING!

There. I feel better. It's like a satisfying morning bathroom visit after a night of indulgence.

BTW, Bay County, natal nexus of the Madonna Empire, voted Trump by 76%.

Kellogg's delenda est.

Sebastian said...

"was it at all uneasy laughing, aware of how out of touch they are with their own fellow citizens?" No.

"Or do they simply regard those people outside the room as shameful and those in the room as the good people?" Yes. (Except for "outside the room" BLMers, Dreamers, cop killers, and pipeline protesters.)

Next question.

Gahrie said...

The most delicious irony of the Hillary drones and the leaders of Progressive Left?

They are exactly the people they claim to oppose and blame for all of our problems.

Gahrie said...

What she had no complaints about the caviar, pate and champagne?

jaydub said...

I understand your pain, Madonna. I'm ashamed you're an American, too.

Sally327 said...

Her own son doesn't want to live with her. Maybe she should be ashamed about that.

mockturtle said...

That Madonna should even be considered a cultural icon tells us much about the extent of our depravity.

walter said...

Sheet shaming. Potent stuff.
Time to up the ante and deliver some protest blow jobs.
And time to reprise a classic:
“The people in the cheaper seats, clap your hands… And the rest of you, if you’d just rattle your jewelry.”

khesanh0802 said...

I think Trump will be a boon to American culture because all these people who have been thought to be cool are now going to be seen as irrelevant. I am still waiting for Cher et al. to make their reservations for Canada. I plan to be at the station to wave them off.

I recommend reading Thomas Franks' "Listen, Liberal" for a scathing evaluation of the celebrity culture in the Democratic party. He is about as left as it gets but he hits home with what has happened to the Dems. - by their own choosing.

n.n said...

Plan the unviable baby...

Egypt wasn't the same after Obama backed the democratic terrorist coup. Neither was Libya nor Syria nor Ukraine.

Sam L. said...

Madonna, emphasizing her lack of smarts.

coupe said...
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tcrosse said...

Bravo Laslo !

Seeing Red said...

She was in Miami?

Were there Cubans there?

She's been ashamed for a very long time. But she won't give up the Benjamins.

I didn't think she knew how to spell the word ashamed, much less the definition.



Laslo, you need to publish!

cubanbob said...

I'll take her pretentious social justice BS virtue signalling seriously when she liquidates all of her wealth and give 95% of it to the poor of Malawi.

Darrell said...

When she reneged on giving blowjobs to Hillary voters, I noticed that there wasn't any outcry whatsoever. I heard a rumor that people settled for a 25-million-man bukkake facial, but I haven't seen the story at HuffPo.

Darrell said...

She was doing a twerk-squat on stage that looked exactly liked those Hillary supporters shitting on sidewalks after the election.
Madge, it's time to hang up the ol' butt plug. You've had a good run.

mockturtle said...

Laslo! Wow! :-D

damikesc said...

Funny...Madonna and Trump became famous in the 80s. Only one is actually relevant now.

Gretchen said...

I'm ashamed she's American too.

Paul Zrimsek said...

When dealing with an emotion that's as new and unfamiliar to you as shame is to Madonna, it's a good idea to start with baby steps. Being ashamed of other people is a nice, unthreatening start; you can work your way up little by little to being ashamed of being Madonna.

JAORE said...

So the Egyptians didn't cotton to Hillary?

Paul said...

Go... Back... to... England... Madonna.

And stay there.

JAORE said...

I would add
At my age I'm far from the demographic that Madonna targets.

But to be fair, at her age, neither is she.

John Clifford said...

I'm ashamed that Madonna is an American. To understand why much of the world detests us is to look at her career.

robother said...

When Dem Times polls are rotten,
You don't get very much cotton,
In Dem old cotton fields of Egypt.

ALP said...

I'm ashamed to be female, quite frankly, with some of the ridiculous shit members of my gender say. So I can relate, Madonna dear...

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

I just want to know when George Stephanopoulos and wife are actually departing for New Zealand.

FWIW, no one ever actually follows through on those "I'll leave the country!" deals. But it might be amusing to see them held to such.

mockturtle said...

FWIW, no one ever actually follows through on those "I'll leave the country!" deals. But it might be amusing to see them held to such.

We should demand it!

Alex said...

Interesting that as Madonna lost her relevance in the pop world, her political views became more strident and frequent. I don't recall her being so political circa 1992.

Harold said...

Quaestor already said it:

I TOO AM ASHAMED THAT MADONNA IS A HUMAN BEING!

Rhythm and Balls said...

And somebody tell Madonna: "Egyptians... are among the world’s happiest people about the Trump win."

So let them take him in as their leader. He'd fit right in.

These posts are getting stupider and stupider. Narcissists are the societal equivalent of an ever-swirling toilet bowl that never actually flushes. Nothing good will come out of this man, or the people whose livelihood and happiness rely on uploading an endless stream of posts about him.

aritai said...

Give her a break. The left pays a lot of money to see her (do something) a lot of it is taxed heavilyl leaving the party of stupid bullies less to spend on its dictatorships. What's not to like? I've been to Cairo. Like the rest of the world they are now hyper-capitalists where getting rich is glorious and does 100x the good of any socialistic program for their poorest, and hungriest of their people. Prove that this is not so using the Socratic method.

Fen said...

BREAKING: After 80 Years, Madonna Finally Finds Shame

SukieTawdry said...

That's okay, Madonna, we're often ashamed you're an American, too. Personally, I don't care what an aging diva who is probably the most overrated act in the history of popular music thinks about anything, but YMMV.

SukieTawdry said...

Oh, Laslo, there's no one like you.

JAORE said...

Hard to believe no one took Madonna and Egypt and came up with mummified.

So there it is.

JAORE said...


My posts are getting stupider and stupider. Narcissists are the societal equivalent of an ever-swirling toilet bowl that never actually flushes. Nothing good came out of the Obama Presidency, or the people, like me, whose livelihood and happiness rely on uploading an endless stream of posts about him.

There R&B, I saved you from your auto-correct errors.

No need to thank me.....