October 12, 2016

"Like Skittles and Tic Tacs before us, we unequivocally condemn recent remarks made by Donald Trump that make reference to our candy."

"We have nothing but respect for the fine work of the Academy Award-winning actress Reese Witherspoon, and Mr. Trump’s comments regarding her ‘pieces’ were lewd, vulgar, and entirely unacceptable. Our candy’s name was never meant to be used in the service of such crass wordplay. We hope that, this Halloween season, our entire line of candies will continue to represent what they have represented since 1928—wholesome and sweet American treats that in no way promote the reduction of powerful women to their anatomical parts."

The Reese's Pieces entry in "Candy Companies' Prewritten Statements Anticipating the Trump Campaign's Next Candy-Relgated Gaffe."

26 comments:

bagoh20 said...

As a company president myself, I can't imagine feeling the need to do that, or thinking it would help more than hurt the company's brand. "Better than nothing is a high standard."

Paddy O said...

So, snickers is endorsing Trump, then?

BDNYC said...

That's how you make a crass joke while denying any responsibility for it. My liberal friends love to make racist and sexist jokes under the guise of mocking conservative racism and sexism.

Clayton Hennesey said...

Apparently The New Yorker believes Ms. Witherspoon's "pieces" are theirs for the utilization.

Why am I of the opinion that politics following this election will no longer be conducted solely with words and pictures? What's left to lose?

n.n said...

Colorful clumps of cells [selectively] excluded.

readering said...

Relgated? Start using a blackberry!

Michael K said...

Shame on Trump. Skittles is an important part of "Purple Drank" also known as "Lean."

Trayvon Martin was on a futile search for Skittles when he encountered "The White Hispanic." Actually, he was after Dextromethorphan but the clerk in the 7/11 had it behind the counter.

is typically mixed with ingredients such as the soft drinks Sprite or Mountain Dew and optionally "a Jolly Rancher hard fruit candy thrown in for extra sweetness."

Skittles is also recommended.

mccullough said...

If lust and hate is the candy, if blood and love taste so sweet, we give 'em what they want

Darrell said...

Feel the rainbow!

Ken B said...

So how isn't this the New Yorker itself actually making the joke?
It's a new John Lovitz act: make a joke then append "as Trump might say". Yeah, that's the ticket, "as Trump might say."

Kate said...

If journalists hadn't shown themselves wholly in the tank for Dems, I would think this was funny. It would seem to poke at the overwrought disavowals from other candy makers. But this is going to end up like Tina Fey's "I can see Russia from my front yard" schtick. People will think Trump really said things that prompted this response.

The Left: showing Gollum the true meaning of tricksy.

Bob said...

Fact check: Candy is not wholesome. Candy is a treat that should be eaten judiciously.

Trump is correct, its a treat.

mccullough said...

Most comedy these days is partisan. I blame Jon Stewart

rhhardin said...

Lindt's 90% chocolate hasn't been heard from.

All the wholesome candies I used to buy have been discontinued (e.g. Planter's big block), so I go with that.

rhhardin said...

Althouse might like the 90% chocolate, since she can't taste anyway and won't have to develop a taste for it by working up the percentages.

rhhardin said...

I used to buy wholesome candies for halloween so the leftovers weren't wasted.

Dave in Tucson said...

Yeah, thinly veiled projection and hypocrisy. Let me repeat this awful and disrespectful joke the Republicans are telling each other, probably.

Dave in Tucson said...

Another note, it will quickly become received wisdom that this is a joke actually told by Republicans.

I mean, just ask people who said, "I can see Russia from my house." (Hint: the correct answer is not Sarah Palin.)

Michael said...

What a dipshit. None of his candy will be going into the little goblins baskets next month. Not. One. Piece.

Plus, as noted, candy is poison sold to children. Might drop him a note tonight.

jr565 said...
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jr565 said...
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buwaya puti said...

I know what candy Im not giving out for Halloween.

Mac McConnell said...

Who spends more on candy for their kids, Progressives or just middle and lower class folk"
ESPN
Ben & Jerry's
NFL
now moronic candy companies, political activism of we paroles saves us cash.

Howard said...

Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.

William said...

I break two squares of Lindt 90% chocolate over a half pint of blueberries and mix it with a like amount of Greek yogurt. That's breakfast. I would eat it for fun, but it's hyper healthy. If you drew a Venn diagram of the things that are healthy and the things that taste good, there would not be a lot of overlap. BBQ has very few anti oxidant properties.......Who knew that candy manufacturers tilted left in their political leanings? I don't know for sure but I bet beef jerky makers might favor Trump. The potato chip people are probably on the fence.

Rhythm and Balls said...

Meanwhile, check out what popular rap star Iggy Azalea has to say about skittles.