September 26, 2016

"That I am totally devoid of sympathy for, or interest in, the world of groups is directly attributable to the fact that my two greatest needs and desires — smoking cigarettes and plotting revenge — are basically solitary pursuits."

"Oh, sure, sometimes a friend or two drops by and we light up together and occasionally I bounce a few vengeance ideas around with a willing companion, but actual meetings are really unnecessary."

One of 25 quotes from famous women about being alone. There are a lot of interesting quotes over there. I just picked the one that jumped out at me and needily insisted on being my friend. It's from Fran Lebowitz.

27 comments:

Henry said...

I was going to guess Florence King. For example:

I'd rather rot on my own floor than be found by a bunch of bingo players in a nursing home.

Ms. King also enjoyed smoking.

YoungHegelian said...

It's from Fran Lebowitz.

Oh, what a surprise!

I'm just amazed that after a few years Fran Lebowitz had anyone around her that she could plot revenge on, short of sending out letter bombs like the Unabomber did, and he could do that from the outback in Montana.

New Yorkers have a much greater tolerance for obnoxiousness than the rest of us do, I guess. Especially if there's a modicum of talent attached to it.

Eric the Fruit Bat said...

There's this disease by which even fully-grown adults talk out their ass and think themselves clever.

Most people are first infected with the contagion in high school English class.

That's where I got it, anyway.

traditionalguy said...

Revenge is a first hand emotion in women. That is wprobably why both men and women prefer male leadership in a social group.

David Begley said...

Story cites Dolly Parton. As noted here, Parton has been married for years to one man.

Another epic fail by the NY media establishment. Where are the fact checkers when you really need them?

coupe said...

Julie Ma is a compulsive list maker. Her last 25 articles included lists of 25 things.

When she pee's she squeezes her pee muscle 25 times.

Carter Wood said...

Billy Bragg spoke to the issue in his great "Levi Stubbs." He's at the Birchmere tomorrow, singing about trains:

With the money from her accident
She bought herself a mobile home
So at least she could get some enjoyment
Out of being alone
No one could say that she was left up on the shelf
It's you and me against the World kid she mumbled to herself

When the world falls apart some things stay in place
Levi Stubbs' tears run down his face

She ran away from home on her mother's best coat
She was married before she was even entitled to vote
And her husband was one of those blokes
The sort that only laughs at his own jokes
The sort a war takes away
And when there wasn't a war he left anyway

Norman Whitfield and Barrett Strong
Are here to make everything right that's wrong
Holland and Holland and Lamont Dozier too
Are here to make it all okay with you

One dark night he came home from the sea
And put a hole in her body where no hole should be
It hurt her more to see him walking out the door
And though they stitched her back together they left her heart in pieces on the floor

When the world falls apart some things stay in place
She takes off the Four Tops tape and puts it back in its case
When the world falls apart some things stay in place
Levi Stubbs' tears

Bob Ellison said...

Loneliness is a bad condition, but writing about it may make your readers (if any) avoid you.

Carol said...

Fran Liebowitz used to be funny. I really liked her
.
She fell into liberal lockstep eventually, though, didn't she?

vicari valdez said...

David Begley said...
Story cites Dolly Parton. As noted here, Parton has been married for years to one man.

Another epic fail by the NY media establishment. Where are the fact checkers when you really need them?
9/26/16, 10:43 AM


i'm looking for it, but can't seem to find the part where it said she was single or had been divorced.

Howard said...

i thought ms. lebowitz died in a kiln explosion in 1962

Howard said...

prefer the first lebowitz quote that pops from googling

In real life, I assure you, there is no such thing as algebra.

YoungHegelian said...

@Howard,

i thought ms. lebowitz died in a kiln explosion in 1962

No, that was her older sister, Fawn. Rumor has it Fawn got all the looks & charm in the family.

Bill Peschel said...

Shonda Rhimes also credits her staff with taking care of her three (adopted) children and enabling her to work. In essence, she outsourced her wifely duties.

For that I admire her. Admitting that you use nannies and staff to take care of your kids is a big no-no in celebrity-land.

Then there's Chelsea Handler: "congratulate her on her accomplished sense of self and for reaching the solitary mountaintop by herself without a ring on her finger weighing her down like a male paperweight."

Sleeping with the right executive helps, too. And it's easier when you don't have a husband.

David Begley said...

Vicari

I was going to delete the comment as it was about Dolly writing songs by herself, but the larger implication was that the women were not married.

vicari valdez said...

i think the larger implication is that it's 'a thing.' i agree with that. society feeds women a narrative that they will be worthless after 30 without the validation of a man or family. i hate the implication in that narrative that i'm just a commodity with an expiration date. i think society is changing in such a way that's eventually going to shock a lot of men who subscribe to this notion.

vicari valdez said...

by 'it' i mean the stigma women feel about being unmarried/single/alone.

mockturtle said...

There are many of us merry widows out here who enjoy--some for the first time--the solitary lifestyle. Not to say I didn't love my husband passionately but now I can go where I want, when I want, eat whatever and whenever I want and I can fart with impunity.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

What Henry said. I was astonished that there was no Florence King. She's on record as being astonished that solitary confinement is considered a punishment.

grimson said...

Rebecca Traister, a true strong, independent woman (as envisioned by Democrats): "Social policy must reckon with single women and the fact that they require the same kind of economic aid and consideration from the government that men have received since its founding, i.e., tax breaks, improved housing policy, more welfare, paid leave."

mockturtle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mockturtle said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
mockturtle said...

BTW, here's a good read for the solitary sort: "Party of One: The Loners' Manifesto" by Anneli Rufus.

Bill Peschel said...

They need to get this 27-year-old fashion exec to comment on the benefits of being single (warning: sex diary at NY Mag's the Cut. Contains references to BDSM, f***ing, p***ing, c** s***s. May cause pearl clutching, if not outright fainting).

http://nymag.com/thecut/2016/09/the-fashion-executive-who-doesnt-wear-underwear-on-dates.html

BudBrown said...

Was there a Golda Meir quote? This post reminds me of her. Couple
months back I was googling about to find what kind of exercises
female leaders do. Back in 1980 Regan got a lot of grief about
being so old. Lot of photos appeared where he's riding horses and
chopping wood at his ranch. Anyway, a quick perusal netted me nothing
about Thatcher and Merkal. But someplace it noted that during the 73
war Meir increased her smoking from 3 packs a day to 4. All right,
my kind of woman. Maybe if you're the leader of a country facing
extinction you feel lonlier.

JamesB.BKK said...

Used to be that going for a smoke was a wonderful way to get to know newly met people, even adversaries, say around contract negotiations. The opposite of solitary. People such as the professor upblog now need us to live longer, and sober, under government compulsion, in order to provide more taxable cash to governments, as so many good little economic units. So he and others of his ilk ruined it.

Bad Lieutenant said...

funny thing is smoking usu kills you AFTER productive segment of lifespan BEFORE SSI/Medicare drawdowns. Smoking = perfect eugenic/demographic leveler. So, stupid googoo gov't is driving this econ death spiral, and now we are begrudging the greater number of old their benefits?