July 15, 2016

"Kitten caused multi-car crashes on Mississippi River bridge...."

"... police say."

No, drivers not leaving enough space between the cars caused the crashes.

20 comments:

shiloh said...

101 uses ...

traditionalguy said...

We either have to ban catnip or just give it away free. It's addicted cats roaming the streets looking for it that are making life dangerous for the innocent dog owners.

Fernandinande said...

If you get
"We hope you have enjoyed your complimentary access for the month.
Now it's time to activate or sign up for unlimited access!"

do a "view source" and it's all there, about half-way down the page in a little section wedged into the advertising and tracking.

southcentralpa said...

Easy to say, but that's sort of like saying you didn't leave enough space when some, uh, jackwagon (thank you, R. Lee Ermey)hits you at 40+ mph when you're stopped at a light and your car is pushed into the vehicle in front of you.

Or, more to the point of the example: say you have enough space in front of you in your lane, and suddenly someone (who is, say, half the distance to the car in front of you in an adjacent lane) who is taken by surprise by an animal moves from an adjacent lane and slams on the brakes at the same time.

It's one of those things that very easy to be self-righteous about, but you can't protect yourself from radical moves by other drivers...

Sebastian said...

Musk to the rescue.

SteveR said...

Ban cats

Greg Hlatky said...

Kitten Lives Matter

Big Mike said...

What southcentrslpa said.

Chuck said...

"Assured clear distance" is the term, Professor.

Browndog said...

I doubt it was a female millennial.

If it was, I doubt millennials would blame others.

cyrus83 said...

On my commute, the reward for actually allowing reasonable space between the car in front is that some idiot in a neighboring lane will decide that it's a perfect place to swing their car with minimal advance signaling to get 50 feet closer to their destination, and that's assuming they know how to operate the turn signal.

In practice at highway speeds in crowded traffic, I find it difficult to maintain a following distance greater than 200 feet because impatient drivers are constantly changing lanes into that space forcing a readjustment and then as soon as the distance feels good again, another one pulls in front.

Most people probably don't realize how much money they're wasting by being so aggressive with the gas pedal. Practical experience with my own car has shown that being a little less quick to accelerate to speed and keeping around the speed of the majority of traffic instead of trying to pass it all has led to about a 17% improvement in MPG (basically 2 gallons per week less fuel used), and I still get to work about the same time as I always did.

Joe said...

Never underestimate evil kittens.

Johnathan Birks said...

Kitten denier! XD

Karen of Texas said...

“I had no idea what those motorists were trying to do with their little snacks, but they were totally oblivious to everything else going on around them. I turned them around to look at how they had traffic backed up for miles and one of them said, ‘So?’”

"So?" << This, in a nutshell, pretty much explains why we are in a world of hurt. So?! So?!? So what? "What difference at this point does it make?"

Humperdink said...

Free roaming cats are not a problem in North Korea.

Bill Peschel said...

They're profiling kittens now. Grumpy Cat better watch his ass when he's behind the wheel. #kittenlivesmatter

Too soon?

Ipso Fatso said...

What is interesting is that in the original story where they explicitly document who hit who (whom?) nothing is ever said about the fate of the cat!!!

EDH said...

"Kitten caused multi-car crashes on Mississippi River bridge...."

Fromer child stars are always causing problems.

Imaging all the problems if the cast of "Different Strokes" were all still alive.

Deja Voodoo said...

Ipso Fatso said...
What is interesting is that in the original story where they explicitly document who hit who (whom?) nothing is ever said about the fate of the cat!!!

Last line of the article:
The kitten lives and was taken to the Dubuque Humane Society by Dubuque police.

mikee said...

I taught my two kids never to swerve for small animals while driving - up to say, from a squirrel up to the size of a cocker spaniel - because swerving was much more dangerous than hoping the animal got out of the way of the car.

And I told them this story to illustrate the point: My brother was a school bus driver his last two semesters while in high school (18 years old, and that age plus some training was enough way back then). They were taught ALWAYS to hit ANY animal that got in front of them, NEVER to swerve the bus. And there was a mythical new bus driver who called in from the middle of a farmer's field one day, reporting to the supervisor that after a dog walked in front of his bus, the driver certainly hadn't swerved, but had finally hit the damn dog after a chase of almost a quarter mile and out into the muddy corn rows.

I know one other joke, equally bad, and will use it when I see fit. You have been warned.