June 2, 2016

"I think we’re doing an abominable job of listening to men and boys who have been raped."

"When we notice their existence at all — which is a rare thing — we’re extremely prone to talk over them and to redefine their experience for them. We need more research that’s victim-centered. Our current understanding of what that experience involves is obtained from the crudest possible stereotypes, principally Hollywood films like 'Deliverance' or 'The Shawshank Redemption.' It’s not merely because men and boys are not speaking about it. The question worth asking is: What needs to be done that would make them feel safe in disclosing their experience? Second, we need somewhere for men and boys to go when this has happened to them.... Third, we need an integrated approach to the whole problem of sexual violence.... We can talk about the gendered aspects certainly, but in my view, the fight against sexual violence in all its aspects is a single fight that ought to unite people of all genders and sexual orientations. The basic elements are fundamentally the same."

Said Raymond M. Douglas, author of “On Being Raped.” Douglas, who is now a history professor at Colgate University, was raped by his parish priest 30+ years ago when he was 18.

19 comments:

rhhardin said...

I predict a fall in ratings in a few years, and it will die out again.

Cash in now.

Brando said...

That's because men being raped can be played for laughs. Take that scene at the end of "Trading Places" where the bad guy was put in a monkey suit in a cage and raped by a gorilla. Hilarious! He had no escape, and was forcibly violated by a large primate, something that in real life would probably kill the victim, and we can laugh because it wasn't a woman getting raped!

BDNYC said...

He was raped when he was 18? So it was non-consensual? Forcible? Maybe he was drugged.

When I hear parish priest abuse I think of "consensual" sex with underage teen boys.

tim in vermont said...

Ethics are situational, and heavily depend on the "genders" involved. Only men believe in fundamental principles and abstract rules that apply to all, and as we all know, men are becoming increasingly retrograde.

Chanie said...

From the quoted portion, even this article seems to deal exclusively with men raped by other men. It's not all banjos and prison attacks. Women rape too.

campy said...

But we're doing a great job of ignoring them.

Curious George said...

"Brando said...
That's because men being raped can be played for laughs. Take that scene at the end of "Trading Places" where the bad guy was put in a monkey suit in a cage and raped by a gorilla. Hilarious! He had no escape, and was forcibly violated by a large primate, something that in real life would probably kill the victim, and we can laugh because it wasn't a woman getting raped!"

No, it was because the guy was The Authoritative Asshole. All the characters played by Paul Gleason are dickweeds that deserve a good ass raping. Clarence Beeks in Trading Places, Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club, and police chief Dwayne T. Robinson in Die Hard.

FullMoon said...

Curious George said...



No, it was because the guy was The Authoritative Asshole. All the characters played by Paul Gleason are dickweeds that deserve a good ass raping. Clarence Beeks in Trading Places, Richard Vernon in The Breakfast Club, and police chief Dwayne T. Robinson in Die Hard.


Know who else deserves a good ass raping by six or seven guys in prison or juvenile hall? People making stupis comments. Maybe a good mouth fucking after having all your teeth knocked out first. Not just once, but maybe on a daily basis. Why draw the line at "dickweeds"?

Michael K said...

"When I hear parish priest abuse I think of "consensual" sex with underage teen boys."

I do, too. There were a few real child molesters, like that priest who was murdered in prison, but most of these cases involved teenagers and homosexual (can I still say that ?) priests.

The seminaries were taken over by gays in the 60s. There is even a book about it.

JPS said...

Curious George:

"and police chief Dwayne T. Robinson in Die Hard."

Seems to be a pattern here:

"A__hole?! I'm not the one who just got b___-f___ed on national TV, DWAYNE!"

Brando, 7:00: It is interesting how widespread jokes like that were, and still are, only lately we're starting to say, Hm…maybe we shouldn't laugh about that.

FullMoon, I understand outrage on the topic, but that - meh. Shouldn't we now get furious at you for wishing that kind of violence on someone over a comment you find stupid? 'Cause you seem more sincere and heartfelt, not to say detailed, in wishing for someone's rape than Curious George did.

Fernandinande said...

"20,300 [military] members (10,600 men and 9,600 women) were sexually assaulted in 2014. Junior enlisted members had the highest past-year rates (1.4% of men, 7.3% of women)."

FullMoon said...

JPS said...



FullMoon, I understand outrage on the topic, but that - meh. Shouldn't we now get furious at you for wishing that kind of violence on someone over a comment you find stupid? 'Cause you seem more sincere and heartfelt, not to say detailed, in wishing for someone's rape than Curious George did.


Would not wish it upon anybody, man or woman, Just a poor attempt at matching Curious George's humor.

Brando said...

"It is interesting how widespread jokes like that were, and still are, only lately we're starting to say, Hm…maybe we shouldn't laugh about that."

Yeah, I guess to me what's striking is the double standard. Either everything can be funny, even if it is something horrible like rape, or some things are just too cringe-inducing to really be funny, but it seems that the current standard is "rape is funny when it happens to men" and "rape is never funny when it happens to women". As an example, imagine how it would have gone over (even in 1983) if Clarence Beeks was instead Clarissa Beeks, still a villain, but now a woman violated by a gorilla. Would that have passed in a movie like Trading Places?

Brando said...

"Would not wish it upon anybody, man or woman, Just a poor attempt at matching Curious George's humor."

I guess the thing about rape compared to say assault or even murder is that you can't really come up with a justifiable reason for it (while you can kill in self defense, or assault to save another's life, there's no "I can see why he had to rape that person..."). By definition the rapist is victimizing someone who is at their mercy, where even with murder and assault that may not necessarily be the case. So it seems to be one of those "black holes" of humor.

EDH said...

Brando, gorillas are said to have relatively small penises, ahem, or so I've heard...

Wiki: As a general rule, a mammal's penis is proportional to its body size, but this varies greatly between species – even between closely related ones. For example, an adult gorilla's erect penis is about 4 cm (1.5 in) in length; an adult chimpanzee, significantly smaller (in body size) than a gorilla, has a penis size about double that of the gorilla. In comparison, the human penis is larger than that of any other primate, both in proportion to body size and in absolute terms.

Brando said...

"Brando, gorillas are said to have relatively small penises, ahem, or so I've heard..."

I hope that's something I never have to find out first hand.

Gahrie said...

""I think we’re doing an abominable job of listening to men and boys who have been raped.""

Who cares? They're just splooge stooges...just get the child support checks and forget them.

Mary Beth said...

Brando said...

That's because men being raped can be played for laughs. Take that scene at the end of "Trading Places" where the bad guy was put in a monkey suit in a cage and raped by a gorilla. Hilarious! He had no escape, and was forcibly violated by a large primate, something that in real life would probably kill the victim, and we can laugh because it wasn't a woman getting raped!

6/2/16, 7:00 AM


What if it's a monster instead of a gorilla? Would we laugh if she starts singing, "Ah, sweet mystery of life..."?

Curious George said...

"FullMoon said...
Know who else deserves a good ass raping by six or seven guys in prison or juvenile hall? People making stupis comments. Maybe a good mouth fucking after having all your teeth knocked out first. Not just once, but maybe on a daily basis. Why draw the line at "dickweeds"?"

Uh, you do know that all those were movies, right? Right Corky? That no one was actually raped?

Idiot.