February 5, 2016

"At 9:30am, I drink 16 ounces of unsweetened, strong green juice, which is my alkalizer, hydrator, energizer, source of protein and calcium, and overall mood balancer."

"It's also my easy, 'lazy,' and delicious skin regime. I also take three tablespoons of bee pollen. I love Moon Juice's soft and chewy bee pollen—it's a creamy, candy-like treat that gives me my daily B-vitamin blast, and also helps feed my skin and aids hormone production. I'll also grab a handful of activated cashews. I try to get these in every day for their brain chemistry magic. I chase this with a shot of pressed turmeric root in freshly squeezed grapefruit juice."

From Elle Magazine's "How Hollywood's Favorite Juice Bar Owner Eats Every Day/Amanda Chantal Bacon, founder of Moon Juice, has a diet full of ingredients we've never even heard of."

Start with a woman named Bacon, then stir in the brain magic and activated bullshit.

40 comments:

Rusty said...

Forget it, Althouse. It's Hollywood.

coupe said...
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Quaestor said...

She must be a hellava sourpuss to need a daily alkalizer.

coupe said...
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sydney said...

Are those all products she sells?

buwaya said...

Next big Hollywood thing - transfusions of young people blood -
https://www.theguardian.com/science/2015/aug/04/can-we-reverse-ageing-process-young-blood-older-people

Forget juice and other half-measures - This is science.

Just Mike said...

Activated bullshit. Accept no substitutes

buwaya said...

"I had an early, pre-yoga dinner at Shima in Abbot Kinney, which is my 3-year-old's favorite restaurant."

Based on my long experience with three-year-olds... well, words fail.

You've got a live one professor.

coupe said...
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oleh said...

Reads like an excerpt from American Psycho.

lgv said...

She eats a wonderful diet filled with essential vitamins and minerals. These vitamins and minerals are packaged in overpriced bullshit.

"Moon Juice protein is crafted in small batches with the most powerful plant alchemy on earth. While our raw, whole grain brown rice is sprouted for bioactivity and availability, natural plant enzymes digest almost all of the carbohydrates. This bio-fermentation produces easily assimilable protein and amino acids, supporting healthy muscle growth and recovery."

Let me translate: "We have to make small batches because there aren't enough stupid people to buy this overpriced concoction." Bio-fermentation is really cool and even though it isn't necessary to get the benefits from these ingredients, it helps con you into thinking it is worth the crazy price."

"High levels of vitamin B combat acne and wrinkles while pollen soothes allergies. A potent aphrodisiac, blood nourisher and muscle food, bee pollen supports fertility and stamina, muscle growth and definition, and recovery from exercise."

B12 actually causes acne and there is no research that supports the ingestion of vitamin B combatting wrinkles. The rest is just creative writing. I didn't even know my blood was famished.

The perfect California health cult.

Just Mike said...

People like this are the reason we can't have nice things in CA. By "nice things" I mean "sane public policy"

whitney said...


"Start with a woman named Bacon, then stir in the brain magic and activated bullshit."

Very funny!

Quaestor said...

I had an early, pre-yoga dinner at Shima in Abbot Kinney, which is my 3-year-old's favorite restaurant.

I can well imagine how that was determined...

ACB "Well now, my little 3-year-old moon unit, where shall we eat?"

Child "McDonalds!"

ACB "Mummy won't love you anymore if that capitalist sweat shop is mentioned again."

Child "... The place that made me go poo-poo."

MadisonMan said...

And yet she still won't live forever.

Titus said...

OMG, I love her!

I make sure to be in the gym/yoga studio a minimum of 2 hours a day!

And I am not into eating that much.

I generally don't eat after 6 and never any snacks.

tits.

Ann Althouse said...

Titus, you are such an indoor guy.

EDH said...

"Moon Juice" does sound like a euphemism for diarrhea.

Titus said...

I walk 30-35 miles a week-outside.

Today I walked 6 miles in a snowstorm.

20 something elite educated want me. I don't prefer 20 somethings elite educated, but they live near me.

But I prefer to be home. I am a major extrovert at work and a huge introvert outside work. I used to enjoy traveling, but now I hate it. I just want to hold my rare clumber. I always make an excuse when friends want to go out.

Have a super weekend!

tits.

Rhythm and Balls said...

I'm sure all the detractors here in the comments and in the original post have a better dietary and lifestyle regime that helps them maintain the psychological illness evident in their own negativity, cynicism and overall grouchiness.

buwaya said...

" negativity, cynicism and overall grouchiness.'

Well, that's my good side right there.

Robert Fulton said...

Apparently one person's bullshit detector is another person's psychological illness. Isn't here a middle ground that would believe that many juices are healthful and tasty, but perceive the Bacon-lady as being full-of-it?

Ann Althouse said...

Glad you cleared that up.

Bill said...

I was born and raised in L.A. Most of us natives loathe this crap.

buwaya said...

Rhythm&etc.
Le mot juste here is "precious", or "affected".
From the famous "precieuses", lady writers and literary tastemakers of French literature (many are named by their noms de plume in Rostands "Cyrano"; Roxanne is said to be a "precieuse").
This is one of those very rare things that snuck into English through a French satire of a literary fashion, in this case Moliere making fun of them.
The French wiki is quite good on this -
Preciosite-..the desire for distinction through appearances, especially the possession of costly jewelry and fine clothes, expensive fabrics; to be distinguished by ones knowledge (the precieuses aspired to pedantry)...
Leave out the clothing, jewelry (and in the French case, manners) - replace with pedantic discourse, for the sake of appearances, on trendy food, expensive restaurants, and fashionable things like yoga.

Eric said...

All this plus Photoshop will keep you young forever!

Titus said...

Harvard indoctrinate students very quickly. My grindr fuck, who is 1/2 spanish and 1/2 indian from UK, just watched the movie Love Story and he is like telling me is Allie McGraw dieing young. And I am Ryan O'Neil dealing with his death.

He is 19 and i am 45. Dear God. I don't know if I can deal with the drama.

He is literrally in tears after watching Love Story and wants us to fall into the snow and make snow angels.

Help!

Titus said...

Do u not elite educated fucks know that watching the movie Love Story is pretty much mandatory at Harvard?

After all these years the undergrads are still watching that shit.

Where do I begin?

tim in vermont said...

LOL, Love Story. If they want to cry again at a movie from the early 1970s, they can watch Brian's Song.

Ambrose said...

"activated cashews"

buwaya puti said...

"Where do I begin?"
At the beginning. My old religion teacher in the Christian Brothers explained how.
Start asking why? And when you get an answer, ask why? again. Keep asking why? like a three year old. And when you run out of answers you will be at the beginning and you will know why. The problem then is accepting the answer to the last question.
I think you are guessing the last answer, but that's cheating. The exercise is helpful.

Chris N said...

She sounds like a perfect fit for my Sub-Zero yoga program.

Inside a refrigerated cargo container, we bring the body to natural stasis.

After a round of B-12 detox, we start a rigorous, organic posing program that works for you.

Kelp-blasting, holistic brain synergism and gluten-workshops are included, of course.

Chris N said...

Did I mention we're certified by the Sedona Healing And Longevity Board.

Who knows, you might even see a celebrity during your cool-down.

FullMoon said...

Yeah, all the guys on the jobsite been doing that diet for years. Keeps us regular, and friendly.

FullMoon said...

Rhythm and Balls said...

I'm sure all the detractors here in the comments and in the original post have a better dietary and lifestyle regime that helps them maintain the psychological illness evident in their own negativity, cynicism and overall grouchiness.
2/5/16, 6:23 PM
buwaya said... [hush]​[hide comment]

" negativity, cynicism and overall grouchiness.'

Well, that's my good side right there.

Fuck, that;s funny!

David said...

Titus said...
Do u not elite educated fucks know that watching the movie Love Story is pretty much mandatory at Harvard?

After all these years the undergrads are still watching that shit.

Where do I begin?


Begin by moving back to Wisconsin. There is still hope for you but it's fading fast.

Chris N said...

No one has died doing Sub-Zero.

Dr. Seljnskiwicz is no longer with us.

Howard Nelson said...

It's been rumored that excess consumption of Moon Juice produces luna tics. Therapy is readily received from your neighborhood witch twitch remover.

Mom said...

This precious organic free range snowflake is paying Elle for the advert. Her son is a child abuse victim whose father will some day attempt to kill Bacon for what she's doing to the boy. Her customers are terminally addicted to status and/or several mushrooms short of a hand-woven sargasso seagrass basket. She looks good because of YOUTH, genetics, photoshop, and the application of thousands of dollars worth of fluffing and buffing, not the mention more tens of thousands for wardrobe, accessories, venues, and automotive props. She'd actually be healthier with a Costco brand one-a-day vitamin and a big plate of real food from Red Robin. Furthermore, I'd bet my Kel-Tec that every relationship she ever had was based on the hunt for money/status. In two years the Goop crowd will move on and Bacon will be planning her next scam; surely with global warmening, real estate sales in Antarctica are about to take off or something. That is all.

J. Farmer said...

Conspicuous consumption for the crunchy granola social set.