September 25, 2013

"If you're like most normal people, you've briefly considered eating a baby or two."

"Not literally, of course. That would make us no better than hamsters or wolf spiders. But pretend baby-eating – that is, explaining to an infant that she is so cute that you just want to gobble her up, or, in extreme cases, gently grabbing a pudgy appendage and making Cookie-Monster eating sounds – is not unheard of among H. sapiens...."

14 comments:

rhhardin said...

A good prose style is aggression too.

Xmas said...

But baby bones are soft yet crisp, like al dente pasta. There's nothing quite like that first crisp snap when biting into fresh baby-head.

Nom nom nom...

(I just ugh myself out a little)

Inga said...

Guilty as charged. When clean, babies do smell delicious.

Sam L. said...

I guess I'm not normal, by his criterion. Now Prof Reynolds and his blended Puppy shakes...

Big Mike said...

Mr. O'Carroll must have never changed a diaper. Seriously, who would want to eat something that pushes that much poop?

SOJO said...

Along these lines, it's always more fun to eat chocolate when it's shaped like a bunny's head.

Eric Jablow said...

When I was 4, my grandfather said that about my baby sister. I would get between the two of them and punch him. He would laugh.

kimsch said...

There's a picture of a baby on its back with its toes in its mouth. The caption reads, "No wonder my mama kisses me so much, I'm delicious!"

We nom nom on babies just like we do raspberries on their tummies. To make them laugh and smile.

Darrell said...

The Leftist Death Cult revealed once again. Inga even admitted it this time.

Smilin' Jack said...

If I ever consider eating a baby: 1) I'll be really hungry, and 2) it will be absolutely literal.

EDH said...

Sometimes, they'll even ask for it...

Isn't She Lovely

I always thought of it as pretending to be a monster.

Illuninati said...

I never thought about eating babies before. Now if I can just get that terrible image out of my mind.

Rocketeer said...

Althouse,

You really missed the boat when you passed on illustrating this post with Rubens' Saturn Devouring His Son.

RigelDog said...

I always said my babies smelled like cookies. And who can resist making "nom nom" on their toesies?