April 30, 2013

"I'd like to have breakfast with somebody. I'd like to go to bed with somebody. Sleep with somebody."

Says Martha Stewart, who is 71, and can't really very easily use Match.com.

52 comments:

ndspinelli said...

Call a former cellmate.

ndspinelli said...

Or, don't be a bitch!

traditionalguy said...

People her age are not as free to pick new partners as it sounds. They have to meet her needs, but she is too selfish to give anything back...what do they think, that she is a fool.

Seeing Red said...

Msybe she shouldn't have been such a viper?

dreams said...

I think going to bed with Martha would be a good thing, at least once.

Mitchell the Bat said...

I'd bang her, but with my luck she'd probably be a fertile octogenarian.

dreams said...

I guess we have to have someone to hate, I say why not Obama.

EMD said...

TMI

Chip S. said...

Martha says, "70 is the new 50!"

George Jones may or may not have said, "Dead is the new 60."

Pogo said...

Amazingly, her search on match.com resulted in "Martha Stewart".

furious_a said...

I think going to bed with Martha would be a good thing, at least once.

Martha, Martha, Martha...

I'd...hit...that.

edutcher said...

I think that's the song of a lot of older women.

Having it all wasn't very much.

rhhardin said...

Dogs are pleased to see you at breakfast.

LarsPorsena said...

She's old bones wrapped in a wrinkle.

Shawn Levasseur said...

Maybe she should start a blog instead.

Freeman Hunt said...

She's 71?! I would never have guessed that by looking at her.

ndspinelli said...

Freeman, You only see her through a softening, gel, lens. That's why. The same for Diane Sawyer. Meade is searching for gel lenses on Amazon.

rehajm said...

A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle.

You've made your bed with impeccably pressed high thread count sheets now lie in it.

ndspinelli said...

Mitchell, Everyone knows you can't get it up, so the point is moot!

Lem said...

Who knew that her catch phrase...
"Its a good thing"... was more than a recipe review.

Lem said...

I would never have guessed that by looking at her.

That might be the problem... who wants to live in a permanent Interior Design cover?

mccullough said...

With somebody who loves me

Mary Beth said...

She even mentioned that her employees have used it successfully...how much is Match.com paying her?

The Drill SGT said...

No way she'll find somebody on Match.

First off, she can't post her photo, and without a photo, she'll get zero responses. She does however look wonderful for 71.

Lem said...

With somebody who loves me...

Martha... 'I like to prance around the house on my birthday suit, with only my ankle bracelet monitoring my every movement'.

She just needs to spruce up her profile a bit like that.

Lem said...

...how much is Match.com paying her?

There is always a wrinkle.

ricpic said...

Can you imagine the enflamed will of this woman should it be thwarted? Sure she'd like to wake up next to a guy, a guy who'd never ever question her my way or the highway commands.

bagoh20 said...

"Amazingly, her search on match.com resulted in "Martha Stewart"."

Nice one, Pogo.
~
I'm really torn on this stuff. I've had nothing but great relationships in my life, and have never had an angry break up, but I just can't imagine getting in another one. That doesn't really make sense, since I have no real negative experiences, but I sure enjoy the freedom and privacy of being unattached.

I would like to have a woman friend that I just enjoy good times with: travel, adventure, intimacy, conversation, but without the constant expectation of more. Yea, I know, real original for a guy, right?

At this point in life, I just have no tolerance for any drama, and I'm a bit of a pain in the ass myself, so I'm good right now, but maybe when I'm 71, I'll feel different. Wait for me, Martha.

ricpic said...

"70 is the new 50!"

Except for the slight factor of feeling like death for the first hour after you get up.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

We have some good friends who are 68 and 66. They found each other on E Harmony about 8 years ago. She was a widow and he long time divorced. At the encouragement of family they went ahead and got on E Harmony. He is from West (by God) Virginia and she from Calif. After corresponding via email and telephone, they finally met in a public place and.....long story short (too late!!) they got married and are extremely compatible and are happy together.

I don't know if they tried other dates before meeting each other....none of my business. But the reality is that they would never have met without the E Harmony web program.

Sometimes these things work out. There is nothing worse than being lonely unless it is being OLD and lonely. Companionship, even without any major sexual component, is vital to living.

Sam L. said...

I'm taken. And I'm not taken with her.

Michael K said...

"Sometimes these things work out. There is nothing worse than being lonely unless it is being OLD and lonely. Companionship, even without any major sexual component, is vital to living."

My basset hound never has a cross word for me. He did bite me once but it was my fault (the old battered spouse routine).

I also have two ex-wives who are friendly now after a rough few years.

That's enough.

Dogs are a lot cheaper. The old joke was, "You don't have to get married. Just find a woman you can learn to hate in a few years and buy her a house."

FleetUSA said...

Does she just want a f*** buddy, toy boy or someone she could play chess with as she ages?

H Kissinger famously wanted to marry for the latter.

Crunchy Frog said...

I want somebody to share
Share the rest of my life
Share my innermost thoughts
Know my intimate details
Someone who'll stand by my side
And give me support
And in return
She'll get my support
She will listen to me
When I want to speak
About the world we live in
And life in general
Though my views may be wrong
They may even be perverted
She'll hear me out
And won't easily be converted
To my way of thinking
In fact she'll often disagree
But at the end of it all
She will understand me

Steve Koch said...

She still looks great, 5'9", 130 lbs.

She could go on a web dating service and post pictures of herself that don't include the face. Once guys contact her she could talk with them and get to know them and have her army of PIs check them out, revealing her identity only when she is convinced the guy is not a perp.

jr565 said...

I'll give it a go. Something tells me shes very dominant in the bedroom.
If I rock her world maybe she'll have a place for me in the will.

jr565 said...

I like that song, Crunchy Frog. Only I thought Martin Gore was gay.

Julie C said...

There have got to be at least a few successful businessmen who would want an equally successful businesswoman as a companion rather than a 20 year old supermodel, right?

Right?

ndspinelli said...

130 lbs!!! Maybe if she cut off both her legs. Was she hit by the Boston bombers?

ndspinelli said...

Legless might be a positive when boinking. Anybody know?

Marty said...

Always amused at the lengths some of us will go to attention. Martha, you've had more than your 15 minutes.

Methadras said...

I don't know how anyone could stand this harpy.

bagoh20 said...

I think she looks great, like 50s. I think she looks better now than when she was younger. I don't have any specific memories of her being a bitch, but maybe she has been, but everyone is now and then. OK Martha, call me. Let's give it a go, and save some money on the match.com thing.

AllenS said...

Hi, Martha, it's me AllenS. I'm on jury duty for the month of May. Are you free in June?

bagoh20 said...

Hey, I saw her first. Besides, she hates jurors.

ampersand said...

She should hie back to the hoosgow.
Notorious jailbirds alway get marriage proposals.

Darrell said...

http://www.businessinsider.com/photos-of-young-martha-stewart-2013-3?op=1

AllenS said...

Martha, it's me again, AllenS. I don't do jury duty often, besides, the trial for tomorrow has been canceled. I noticed that you're older than me. Do you like younger men?

XOXOXO
AllenS

AllenS said...

Martha, not that it's important, but when you were in the joint, did you get any prison tattoos?

Oso Negro said...

She needs a Meade!

Joe said...

She looks good, I'll be her boy toy.

Kirk Parker said...

Bagoh20,

"...travel, adventure, intimacy, conversation, but without the constant expectation of more"

Ummmm, what exactly did you think you were leaving off your list? (Assuming you're talking past childbearing age...)