April 10, 2013

"An X-ray image shows how far inside the man's body the eel was able to get."

A gruesome image, but it's not like it was the eel's decision to enter the man's body:
A man in China's southeastern Guangdong province admitted himself to a local hospital after he reportedly got a live eel stuck inside him. According to British tabloid The Sun, the man inserted the 20-inch-long Asian swamp eel into his anus after seeing it done in a porn movie, and he had to endure all-night surgery to have it extracted.
So it was a Lemmiwinks situation!  

Hurry onward Eeliwinks, or you will soon be dead.

28 comments:

MadisonMan said...

The invasive species line in the article is awesome.

chickelit said...

Fluent in sqeamish

Surfed said...

Ya' know Professor, once you read something like this you can never unread it.

Inga said...

Ooooo, that looks like a eel pain in the ass.

chickelit said...

The concrete enema story I linked a while back at least had some humor. But why is it that only certain men seem engage in such foreplay? Orifice envy?

pduggie said...

So porn CAN hurt people.

gspencer said...

How stupid do you have to be?

On the other hand, with this level of intelligence he's a perfect candidate for undocumented Democrat status.

Tim said...

I didn't look at the picture - my imagination suffices - but what in bloody hell is wrong with some people?

edutcher said...

The mind reels.

If the eel had been electric, it could have been an all-time Darwin Award.

Mitchell the Bat said...

In just about every culture, that's considered eelicit sex.

Patrick said...

It's a one in a million shot, Doc. One in a million!

Abdul Abulbul Amir said...

Gak!

Bob Boyd said...

Translated audio transcript from eel incident:
"Ok...ok..yeah...wait...ok...ok now, gimme an eel...ok,you got that?...ok ok here goes....uh oh...shit! I lost him! Shit! What's he...fuck! (Unintelligible)." End tape.

Nomennovum said...

This story sounds fishy.

mccullough said...

Next time try a gerbil

bagoh20 said...

I see now that I've been doing it wrong. It seemed to me that the pointy end should go in first, but I'm no intellectual you know.
Thanks Ann.

mccullough said...

Bagoh,

The new sex education curriculum contains good material on proper use of the eel. Our tax dollars are being put to good use here at least.

jr565 said...

What kind of porn involves eels put up your butt?

Nomennovum said...

What kind of porn involves eels put up your butt?

Eel porn duh.

Nomennovum said...

Try Shanghai Eel Smugglers,Shanghai Eel Smugglers 2 ,and Shanghai Eel Smugglers 3. There's also a compilation of the SES series that I hear is worth it for the Renminbi shots alone. As they say, "I rike eer in the rear!"

Cedarford said...

Gay men and eels, gerbils, lightbulbs, golfballs, etc.. stuck up their asses!
I suppose it is better than chickenhawks, gay priests to pay a adolescent rent boy to fist them.

Or take it up the ass when it involves some 3rd world gay prostitute that will inject some exotic new communicable disease the gay sex tourista then returns and spreads in the 1st World.

Cedarford said...

Gay men and eels, gerbils, lightbulbs, golfballs, etc.. stuck up their asses!
I suppose it is better than chickenhawks, gay priests to pay a adolescent rent boy to fist them.

Or take it up the ass when it involves some 3rd world gay prostitute that will inject some exotic new communicable disease the gay sex tourista then returns and spreads in the 1st World.

chickelit said...

Eddie Murphy did a song about this sort of thing: link

Baron Zemo said...

I just hope that someday he will be able to marry that eel.

Paul said...

Wasn't an electric one, was it?

I mean talk about a battery powered toy...

RazorSharpSundries said...

Probably too late for this but this is what I thought of "eels wrigglin' up inside ya!" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysL224nd_9M

William said...

Thanks for this timely posting. I just everyone here take the lesson to heart. Also now is probably the appropriate time to report that there is no truth to the rumor that king cobras can give awesome blow jobs.

Gary Rosen said...

C-fudd posted twice, he was really excited about this!!