February 15, 2013

"Rookie golfer suffers Black Widow spider bite during Women’s Australian Open, uses golf tee to remove deadly venom."

"After being informed that a bite from a Black Widow can kill a child in about 30 minutes, Daniela Holmqvist channeled her inner MacGyver and took matters into her own hands."

23 comments:

Mitchell the Bat said...

Fielding Mellish would have known what to do.

Kevin said...

Of course, you realize, someone on the internet is fapping to this story right now.

They're probably in Japan. Somewhere around there.

SteveR said...

That reminds me of a really good joke, the punch line being.. "your stance is too wide"

EMD said...

I have a new favorite female golfer.

Finally, someone to replace Babe Didrikson!

rehajm said...

Golf is a dangerous safari.

Sam L. said...

What? There's no doctor on call? Nobody with a knife, even?

edutcher said...

Inner MacGyver?

That's sexist.

She channeled her inner Sarah Palin.

Darrell said...

Because when you are at the Australian Open, you are miles/hours away from any medical assistance.

Doesn't pass the smell test.

rehajm said...

...very dangerous.

Dante said...

Seriously, how can one use a golf tee to get venom out. I'm having a hard time imagining that.

Here is what they say about snake bites:
DO NOT
cut X’s over the fang marks and suck out the venom. Snake venom spreads quickly and efficiently through the lymphatic system. It is almost impossible to cut deep enough, quickly enough, or to suck hard enough to pull an adequate amount of venom out to make a difference.

rhhardin said...

Other snake-bite punch lines:

"He says you're going to die."

chuck said...

Black widows also like to spin webs under outhouse seats. A friend of mine was bitten, and when I asked where, he said "Kansas".

sonicfrog said...

I had no idea they had black widows in Australia. I work on pools and spas, including equipment repair. During the busy time of the year, I run into two to six widows a week. I had one hitch a ride up my leg once. Luckily I realized it was there and swatted it off before she decided to have a go at venomizing me.

The Drill SGT said...

Comments on the story indicate it was not a Black Widow, but rather a "RedBack" spider

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Redback_spider

William said...

I wonder if she'll be left with some residual super powers. Would a Spiderwoman even want to fight crime? Maybe she'll develop a sudden need to crochet lace doilies. On a more sombre note, she might rip off the head of her boyfriend and eat it......That would make an interesting plot for a romantic horror movie. Peter Parker finds himself drawn to Spiderwoman, but he also finds himself inexplicably shy and awkward in her presence and reluctant to make the first move......Male spiders probably have ambivalent feelings about getting laid. I bet that's why Peter Parker is so lame with women.

prairie wind said...

Comments on the story say it was a redback spider, not a black widow.

rhhardin said...

Guys carry a pocket knife.

It's another reason to avoid commercial aviation now.

madAsHell said...

should seek medical attn....I shot 74

I have a son. I wonder if she's available!?!?

Cinderellastory said...

The golfer is a hero. Perhaps the "Golfer in Chief" will invite her to sit next to his wife at the next State of the Union address?

Lucien said...

But at the link its says that the once-bitten golfer "failed to make the cut" -- so what DID she do with the tee?

Wasn't there also video of several Kangaroos (is there a collective noun for 'roos?)crossing one of the fairways at this tournament?

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

I, too, have no frakkin' idea what you would do with a golf tee in this situation. If I actually thought it was potentially lethal, and had a knife and some matches, I might try making a deep cut and then cauterizing the bejeezus out of it. If I had the guts. But spider bites kill very few people.

ken in sc said...

I don't believe this. I have never heard of black widows being in Australia. They have plenty of other deadly things.

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