January 11, 2013

"By now, you have likely listened several times to the muffled 911 call placed by the Catholic priest who enjoyed..."

"... slipping into a bondage mask and handcuffs inside a church rectory in Springfield, Illinois.... this time he put the handcuffs on with the keyhole up instead of down...."

Although I find this bloggable, I don't want to listen to the recording. Hmmm. I guess don't enjoy hearing suffering, but I want this to be a lesson to you. Stop wasting the police's time with your handcuff incompetence.

48 comments:

bagoh20 said...

But the cops are the only respectable experts on handcuffs a priest can call. Besides unless you got someone else like that on speed dial, you can't beat a 3 digit number for convenience.

Mitchell the Bat said...

It all starts with the hairshirt.

Martha said...

I listened to the recording of the 911 call.

The priest sounds fine though he speaks with a muffled voice because he had a bar in his mouth.

I think the 911 operator was more concerned than the kinky priest. This was routine behavior for Padre.

YoungHegelian said...

There was a noted historian of the liturgy who worked at a major Catholic University in the Midwest. He was a Dominican.

When he died, the order came to inspect his house (which they owned) and to take care of his worldly possessions. They discovered he had a fully outfitted S&M dungeon in the basement, to the tune of several thousands of dollars worth of equipment.

Hey, a guy's gotta have a hobby!

YoungHegelian said...

By the way, isn't this how David Carradine accidentally snuffed himself, complete with with black fishnet hose & all?

edutcher said...

Before Vatican II, priests were an elite.

Not any more.

The Farmer said...

edutcher said...
Before Vatican II, priests were an elite.

Not any more.


Do you mean to say that prior to Vatican II priests were beyond reproach in all ways, or just that they had no sexual kinks (or at least never acted on them)?

machine said...

...if he only had a gun...

Surfed said...

Guns, tits and now bondage. You do sound fun Professor!

bagoh20 said...

I'm glad I don't have any strange fetishes, unless you count projecting the Althouse blog onto the ceiling over my bed, which is just for educational purposes.

A fetish is like a hobby, similar to bird watching, or wood working, or raising gerbils - all perfectly respectable if done right.

edutcher said...

The Farmer said...

Before Vatican II, priests were an elite.

Not any more.


Do you mean to say that prior to Vatican II priests were beyond reproach in all ways, or just that they had no sexual kinks (or at least never acted on them)?


I meant that the Church was a lot more discriminating about who got in.

You read about what Iroquois (or, for that matter, the Japanese in WWII) did to some of them to try to break their faith and you ask yourself if you have that kind of sand.

AJ Lynch said...

Springfield, IL is the Land of Lincoln right? Is this priest available to do Obama's inauguration?

Balfegor said...

re: bagoh20:

I'm glad I don't have any strange fetishes, unless you count projecting the Althouse blog onto the ceiling over my bed, which is just for educational purposes.

How do you do that? In my ongoing pursuit of true, complete sloth, I have occasionally contemplated projecting my internet browsing, videos, etc. onto my ceiling (which is large and flat and white and thus ideal as a projection surface) because then I wouldn't even have to raise my head. Is there a device you would recommend?

Palladian said...

A person connected with a Roman Catholic church in the New England city where I went to school had a full dungeon in his home. I know this because I knew several divinity school students at my school who visited there for fisting parties.

Those catholiques!

Palladian said...

The most psychologically-deranged and sexually perverted people I've ever met were divinity school students at my aforementioned-but-unnamed New England school.

I decided it had something to do with liberation theology.

YoungHegelian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Palladian said...

There was a gay Mormon who wore a yarmulke there.

YoungHegelian said...

@edutcher,

Before Vatican II, priests were an elite.

Sorry, ed, gotta disagree with you there.

We have too many wills from the Middle Ages to the 18th century of priests leaving their worldly goods to their children for that to be the case.

Crooked timber of humanity and all that. Thank God for His Grace that we make it at all.

edutcher said...

The Counter-Reformation came about to correct that.

In any case, I am as aware as you of the abuses of the priesthood during the Middle Ages.

I was speaking of more modern times; I guess I should have been more granular.

Pogo said...

Historian Donald Akenson wrote of Oliver Cromwell:
"...for the Scriptures teach that the Lord is not too fussy about how clean his tools are."

If only God had dogs like Zeus to work with, how much simpler things would have been.

A simple 'shame SHAME' would suffice. Maybe rubbing one's nose in it. Then walkies and play time again.

bagoh20 said...

There a large number of projectors out there:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=laptop+projector

Don't forget to use the Althouse portal.

I haven't left bed for 1452 days, 2 hours, 45 minutes, 48 seconds. I never recovered from the events of that day, and none of us will.

Basta! said...

Jeez, Palladian, I went to div school. M.T.S. baby.

I denounce myself!

Inga said...

Lord, help him!

Palladian said...

Jeez, Palladian, I went to div school. M.T.S. baby.

Maybe it was just something special about div school at Y... nevermind.

Xmas said...

Ann,

I take it you haven't watched the Russian Zorb video yet either.

That one is a bit squicky too.

Erika said...

Insty linked to someone's infographic about 31 emotions we don't have a word for in English--I think it was Spanish that had a term for the embarrassment that comes from watching someone else's humiliation. Watching this kind of tape is thoroughly unpleasant.

mccullough said...

How did he dial 9-1-1 with the handcuffs behind his back?

Jake Diamond said...

edumbshit believes some pretty incredibly stupid shit.

The Farmer said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Farmer said...

edutcher said...

I meant that the Church was a lot more discriminating about who got in.


I doubt very much that's true. In fact I'd be willing to bet there's never been a time in history when the Church has been more discriminating about who gets in than now. Pretty much anybody could become a priest for most of the Church's history. Nowadays you have to have a college diploma, attend seminary and pass the scrutiny of a host of other priests re: temperament and mental stability.

edutcher said...

Jake Diamond said...

edumbshit believes some pretty incredibly stupid shit.

And our expert on dumb shit, the man made of it, knows better than anybody.

The Farmer said...

I meant that the Church was a lot more discriminating about who got in.

I doubt very much that's true. In fact I'd be willing to bet there's never been a time in history when the Church has been more discriminating about who gets in than now. Pretty much anybody could become a priest for most of the Church's history. Nowadays you have to have a college diploma, attend seminary and pass the scrutiny of a host of other priests re: temperament and mental stability


Hate to tell you, but it was that way before Vatican II. The wrinkle is that the Church's flirtation with PC and Radical Chic have turned out nothing but badly.

You may be right about the guitar-mass 70s, but the priests I remember (again, pre-Vatican II) were all very sharp mentally and ethically.

The Farmer said...

Hate to tell you, but it was that way before Vatican II. The wrinkle is that the Church's flirtation with PC and Radical Chic have turned out nothing but badly.

You may be right about the guitar-mass 70s, but the priests I remember (again, pre-Vatican II) were all very sharp mentally and ethically.


It seems you want to argue that priests were, overall, better, or more virtuous, or more elite (whatever that means) prior to Vatican II, but you've got nothing to back that up except your own observation which is based on decades-old memories formed over a relatively small period of time in the 20th century in a relatively small area of the world. I'd bet just about anything I own that, on the whole, pre- Vatican II priests were far more entitled, and more inclined to weird sexual shit, than they are now, if for no other reason than they were untouchable no matter how outrageous their sexual crimes, and were essentially viewed as royalty by most of their congregations. Of course there's no way to prove that, but there's no way to prove that today's priests are any better or worse than yesterday's either.

Baron Zemo said...

Priests are just men born into orginal sin like the rest of us.

There are weak priests who give into their impluses and sin just as there are weak firefighters and soldiers and journalists and rabbi's and all kinds of people.

But no one brings glee to the hearts of Catholic haters than a priest who misbehaves.


Baron Zemo said...

The subtext of eductcher's comment is that the ordination of gay priests greatly increased after Vatican II. The breakup of the church's standards and practices and the number of religious who left the religious life was massive.

That is not to say that there are not many holy gay celibate priests like Father Mychal Judge who bring the "Good News" as it should be spoken.

We are all sinners who should not judge others so quickly.

Baron Zemo said...

Except for the Purple Penquin.

He should be burned at the stake.

Just sayn'

ironrailsironweights said...

People who have sexual fetishes should have nice wholesome sexual fetishes. Like mine.

Peter

The Farmer said...

Baron Zemo said...
The subtext of eductcher's comment is that the ordination of gay priests greatly increased after Vatican II.


Yeah, I know. I don't buy it. It may have been more open but my guess is that prior to Vatican II there were a lot more gay men joining the priesthood because they felt it was the only morally acceptable life for them.

We are all sinners who should not judge others so quickly.

Fucking A, Zemo.

Basta! said...

Palladian, I was kidding. Not about going to div school. Aaah, I think you might be onto something there. . . based on my sample pool at H- (Double nevermind)

buwaya said...

It was normal back in the day (not more than 30 years ago), back in the rural third world, for your run of the mill parish priest to have a publicly acknowledged mistress.

I would consider this an acceptable and responsible compromise for those priests who are unable to meet the high standard of celibacy. There is sin and there is sin.

This sort of arrangement may prevent the fall into genuine depravity among the most frustrated, or at least would leave the door open to more normal men who may fear that they may not be up to such a high standard.

Beau said...

People who have sexual fetishes should have nice wholesome sexual fetishes. Like mine.

I think I need to develop one. I feel that I'm maybe missing out on an important aspect of life somehow.

edutcher said...

The Farmer said...

It seems you want to argue that priests were, overall, better, or more virtuous, or more elite (whatever that means) prior to Vatican II, but you've got nothing to back that up except your own observation which is based on decades-old memories formed over a relatively small period of time in the 20th century in a relatively small area of the world. I'd bet just about anything I own that, on the whole, pre- Vatican II priests were far more entitled, and more inclined to weird sexual shit, than they are now, if for no other reason than they were untouchable no matter how outrageous their sexual crimes, and were essentially viewed as royalty by most of their congregations.

In other words, you have nothing to back up your assertions except your opinion.

And, as for being "untouchable", read the Decameron. It's all about the corruption of the priesthood.

Baron Zemo said...

The subtext of eductcher's comment is that the ordination of gay priests greatly increased after Vatican II.

It is? I just made the point the standards went down.

The Farmer said...

edutcher said...
In other words, you have nothing to back up your assertions except your opinion.


No, not in other words - in pretty much those very words! The ones you clipped from my quote noting that I can't prove my assertions - any more than you can prove yours!

edutcher said...

The Farmer said...

Of course there's no way to prove that, but there's no way to prove that today's priests are any better or worse than yesterday's either.

and then

No, not in other words - in pretty much those very words! The ones you clipped from my quote noting that I can't prove my assertions - any more than you can prove yours!

There are always the numbers and dates of molestation charges. They don't go much farther back than the 60s, do they?

IOW, you were indulging in a little bigotry.

(hey, Conservatives never get to use the PC stuff on other people)

PS O mighty Baron, I had the feather-headed Liberation Theology types more than homosexuals in mind when I made my initial comment, no offense.

Baron Zemo said...

Sorry if I misinterperted your point ed but usually when people talk about "standards" going down in the priesthood that's what they mean.

Although most of the kumbyya types fit easily in both descriptions. Just sayn'

edutcher said...

No sweat, Your Grace (or whatever it is they call Barons).

Methadras said...

This is the kind of shit cops live for. So they can tell this story over and over and over and over again at the donut shop until they are dead.

Theranter said...

AJ Lynch said...
Springfield, IL is the Land of Lincoln right? Is this priest available to do Obama's inauguration?
ROTFL!!!!
on a serious note, here lies the truth of the matter from
Baron Zemo:

There are weak priests who give into their impluses and sin just as there are weak firefighters and soldiers and journalists and rabbi's and all kinds of people.

But no one brings glee to the hearts of Catholic haters than a priest who misbehaves.

Amen!

Nichevo said...

4 words:

"Autobiography of a Flea"