December 14, 2012

The Washington Post has a system of badges for commenters.

You can nominate yourself or someone else for high-quality comments in the following categories, and if WaPo agrees, your comments will appear with one of these icons next to your name:
A badge for comments on politics and national affairs.
A badge for comments on Washington area news and trends.
A badge for comments on Washington area sports events and news.
A badge for comments on international affairs.
A badge for those trained by the National Weather Service as Skywarn Spotters.
If I could do a system of badges for the blog commenting here at Althouse, I might like having 5 different badges, but I'd have different categories! Help me fantasize about what the badges could be. And feel free to provide graphic design for the badges.

143 comments:

Kevin said...

The Anne Hathaway thread has inspired me to create a badge. Here, let me show yo-

What? Oh.

Patrick said...

A badge for putting a political spin on a topic not in any way related to politics. I'm no designer, but maybe it could look like a spinner from a kids' board game.

Kevin said...

And before anyone else says we don't need no stinkin badges allow me to say we don't need no stinkin badges and get that out of the way right up front.

The Drill SGT said...

- Mountain Troll
- Squirrel Hunter
- Windmill Tilter
- Rapid Right-Winger
- Belgian Waffler

leslyn said...

Hmmmm. Labeling your commenters with badges. Next comes the railroad cars.

Greg said...

Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!

Greg said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Amartel said...

Unlike.

Kevin said...

I'm also picturing a badge that has like a wide, car-width door that goes up and down with a push-button, like, you know, a garage or something.

Big Mike said...

A badge for commenters who are suave, sophisticated, yet modest and blushingly humble.

May I nominate myself?

YoungHegelian said...

The Pompous Dick, the badge being a penis with a top hat & monocle.

Or, the drive-by snarker badge, for those who think that a well delivered piece of snark will change all of our hearts & minds. I'm still thinking about the badge design....

Amartel said...

Commenting should involve actual substantive comments, you should at least make the effort to type out words, not "thumbs up/down" or "like" or "badge." Too easy.

Kevin said...

Oh and a serious suggestion for once:

Clearly there should be a Badger Badge for people who are actually Wisconsinites.

tiger said...

Farking allah, why don't they just hand out gold stars and be done with it?

Ann Althouse said...

"Hmmmm. Labeling your commenters with badges. Next comes the railroad cars."

Leslyn's hoping for a [blank] badge.

Sorun said...

Obviously, one should be a trained seal.

Ann Althouse said...

"The Pompous Dick, the badge being a penis with a top hat & monocle."

I think all the badges could be phalluses (with different costumes).

Ann Althouse said...

"Obviously, one should be a trained seal."

It would need to be a badly trained seal, since the so-called "trained seals" around here are the ones who are always saying things that seem crafted to look like they're trying to say something I'll approve of while being something that I DON'T think is right at all.

Got an icon for that. A penis wearing... what?

Chip S. said...

I think all the badges could be phalluses (with different costumes).

Then be sure to have one w/ a cheese wedge on top.

leslyn said...

Ann Althouse said...
"Hmmmm. Labeling your commenters with badges. Next comes the railroad cars."

Leslyn's hoping for a [blank] badge.

Don't know what your "[blank]" implied, but taken literally--you betcha!

The Drill SGT said...

Ann Althouse said...
"The Pompous Dick, the badge being a penis with a top hat & monocle."

I think all the badges could be phalluses (with different costumes).


where is the feminist in you?

We need some pink vaginas and maybe some ta ta's

they are always good for business.

Sorun said...

Got an icon for that. A penis wearing... what?

A penis perched on a circus platform balancing teacups on its..."nose"

deborah said...

A penis with a beach ball balanced on its 'nose.'

Ann Althouse said...

"We need some pink vaginas..."

How in hell is that going to be recognizable as anything?

Do you mean vulvas? I'm sorry, people won't know what they're looking at, and females can be just as dickish as men... or penetrating!

Sorun said...

Yeah, beachball is better. Maybe it's dogs that do teacups.

Kevin said...

Commenting should involve actual substantive comments, you should at least make the effort to type out words, not "thumbs up/down" or "like" or "badge." Too easy.

lolwut

YoungHegelian said...

The Pompous Dick, the badge being a penis with a top hat & monocle

I can already see that I'm probably going to regret that comment for the rest of my days...

Sorun said...

A penis in a raincoat that shows up to "flash" us occasionally with his idiotic lefty dogma --> Alpha Liberal.

leslyn said...

The Genitalia badge.

Sorun said...

There should be a badge for the inexplicable Althouse-hater who keeps coming by anyway.

mccullough said...

1. The bullshit badge

2. The brown-nose badge

3. The chin-stroke badge

4. The disgruntled badge

5. The insightful badge

6. The provocateur badge

7. The that-shit-was-really funny badge

Dr Weevil said...

Top hat & monocle? YoungHegelian's subconscious seems to have turned Mr. Peanut into Mr. Penis.

Baron Zemo said...

Five badges for your commenters? Hmmmm.

Homo-penis doing jazz hands for your gay commentators.

Momo-penis with a Pete Rose haircut so it looks like a retard for your less intelligent commenters.

Dumbo-penis with jug ears like Obama for his cultists who think he is a fantasy character who can do no wrong.

Bimbo-vagina in a bulls-eye for your slutty abortion loving lib girls of both sexes.

Lembo- a penis wearing a carmen miranda headpiece of Dominican fruit- that's only for Lem. (but make it pretty because some nights you are going to see it fifty times in a row)

YoungHegelian said...

Weevil,

Actually, I was thinking more of a phallic incarnation of the guy from the Monopoly game.

But, hey, if I knew what my subconscious was doing, it wouldn't be my subconscious any more, would it?

AJ Lynch said...

-Commenter you'd definitely sleep with if Meade rode his bike off a mountain
-So smart I can't believe he is a librul
- So dumb it explains why he is a librul
- How can he survive in Texas- he is a Kneejerk librul like...
- Jeez I miss Bissage; I bet if we dug him up, he could still post better comments than this nitwit

edutcher said...

A picture of Grendel for the trolls.

Maybe an angel for the ladies (vb, KYLiz, Irene) who try to be constructive.

leslyn said...

Hmmmm. Labeling your commenters with badges. Next comes the railroad cars.

No, dear, that's your side's thing.

Ann Althouse said...

Obviously, one should be a trained seal.

It would need to be a badly trained seal, since the so-called "trained seals" around here are the ones who are always saying things that seem crafted to look like they're trying to say something I'll approve of while being something that I DON'T think is right at all.


I'm crushed; I call 'em like I see 'em. If I agree with anyone else, so much the better.

Dante said...

My Proposal:

A Donkey, for those who are Democrats and actually pursuing the democrat agenda.

A kicking knee, for knee jerk leftists, like Garage.

An Elephant, for those who follow Republican ideology.

A Cross, for those who are primarily invested in Republicans as a way of advancing their religious beliefs.

A Shiny Coin, for those who primarily wish to advance economic freedom and well being.

A waffle, for all those middle of the roaders.

Rusty said...

An asshole badge.
Everybody knows what those look like.

I, myself, have been nominated for the asshole badge on several occasions.

TosaGuy said...

It would be juvenile to post a link the the no stinkin' badges line from Blazing Saddles, try this instead.

Shouting Thomas said...

How about a pic of a doting trained seal?

Trained seals just ain't what they used to be, Althouse.

Rocketeer said...

I'm still working on this. Turns out it's hard to think of visual representations for five different kinds of assholes...

Chip S. said...

I, myself, have been nominated for the asshole badge on several occasions.

Who hasn't?

Shouting Thomas said...

I know how to depict the trained seal, but I'm at a loss as to how to depict the "doting" part.

What would be a passable icon for "woman-pleaser," which I apparently am trying in vain to be?

Chip S. said...

This one would fill a real void.

Dante said...

What would be a passable icon for "woman-pleaser," which I apparently am trying in vain to be?

A stick figure bowing in front of a stick figure on a pedestal. The stick figure on the pedestal should be looking away.

Chip S. said...

What would be a passable icon for "woman-pleaser" ?

I thought that's what your icon was trying to convey.

Dante said...

Oh, and have crossed legs.

Pogo said...

I'd rather see merit badges like in Boy/Girl Scouts.

Snarkery
Trolling
Bullshit
Non sequitur
Logic
Logical fallacy
Ad Nauseum
Dullard
PC
UN-PC
The Bissage (Wonderful)
The Chip Ahoy (Magical)
The Palladian (Hilariously vicious)
The rhhardin (Succinctly obscure)

LordSomber said...

Is the flair mandatory?

Pogo said...

The Freeman (Always Readable)
The Bagoh (Jes' plain good)
The Garage (kneejerk defense)

Ambrose said...

Badges? We don't need... Oh wait, Greg beat me to it. Darn.

Beach Brutus said...

Well ... she did tell us to "fantasize" and be "graphic" -- I guess she got what she wanted.

Chip S. said...

And Kevin beat Greg to it.

Say, how about a badge for regularly replicating previous comments?

dustbunny said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
dustbunny said...

The Bob ( only comments on Dylan posts)

Shawn Levasseur said...

Substitute Carrots & Onion rings in instead of more explicit depictions of genetalia.

caplight45 said...

What ever the badges are Chip Ahoy should animate them.

Clyde said...

"Badges? We don't need no steenkin' badges!"

Pogo said...

Clyde just earned the Echo badge!

Chip S. said...

Well played, Clyde!

Here's your badge.

Dr Weevil said...

If we're going to use symbolic body parts, why not a selection of different ones? Some of us surely qualify for a little brain icon. Meade would get a heart, perhaps an anatomical heart with all the arteries and veins attached, to avoid shmaltizness. Some would get a spleen (the seat of laughter, according to ancient poets). And some (we all know who) would best be depicted by an anus.

Which reminds me. Years ago I found the perfect gift for an academic colleague in a remaindered book catalogue: the Color Atlas of Modern Proctology - only $5 in hardcover. I didn't buy it because I didn't see how I could tell whether it would be as offensive as he deserved without looking inside, and I certainly didn't want to look inside. Only later did I realize that it couldn't possibly be insufficiently offensive, since it was a medical text: maybe it would have had one picture of a healthy anus at the beginning, but the rest would undoubtedly have been diseased or at least abnormal - and in color. I still regret not having given it to the colleague, who deserved that and more.

Dr Weevil said...

Oops: make that 'schmaltziness'.

Ann Althouse said...

"Top hat & monocle? YoungHegelian's subconscious seems to have turned Mr. Peanut into Mr. Penis."

I have always loved the Mr. Peanut character. I guess now I know why!

Ann Althouse said...

"I'm crushed; I call 'em like I see 'em. If I agree with anyone else, so much the better."

Even in that post, you said at least one thing that I totally object to (re "constructive").

Methadras said...

Greg said...

Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!


This. First thought that came into my head.

Baron Zemo said...

Jeez edutcher.

It looks like it is club the trained seal day here.

It happens every holiday season. Hee, hee.

edutcher said...

Ann Althouse said...

I'm crushed; I call 'em like I see 'em. If I agree with anyone else, so much the better.

Even in that post, you said at least one thing that I totally object to (re "constructive").


Yes, dear, but I was describing commenters, not seeking your favor.

PS What's the matter with constructive?

PPS If I say things to which you object, how can I be a doting, trained seal?

PPPS Zeus tracking mud in the house really set you off.

Tank said...

Penis with a Hitler mustache for C-4. Or is that too harsh?

Actually, that badge would work for anyone who immediately jumps to the race card, the sexism card, the wingnug card, the gayism card, etc.

Patrick said...

I think all the badges could be phalluses

Didn't one of the skin mags (Penthouse, I think) use penises in various states of arousal for a rating system of pornos? You could do something like that.

Chip S. said...

What's the matter with constructive?

Nothing. I'd guess Althouse really thinks you're an angel.

Palladian said...

Alright, I threw a few badges together...


1. The Squirrel! - Awarded to commenters who consistently toss out partially or totally unrelated subjects in an attempt to deflect attention away from a topic that threatens their confidence.

2. Inga Alert - Attached to bitter, garrulous, uninteresting commenters who flirt with flamethrowers, claim familial "absolute moral authority" and turn nasty when crossed.

3. Master Baiter - Awarded to commenters who pride themselves on their ability to provoke other, usually dumber, commenters to engage in pointless back-and-forth arguments that stretch to hundreds of comments.

4. Moby Alert- A commenter who poses as someone of the opposite political persuasion and posts hyperbolic, offensive and outrageous comments while in this persona, in a weak effort to shame and discredit the "other side". Has some overlap with numbers 3, 7 and 8.

5. Althouse-Marm - Generally awarded to the proprietress when she's in her preachy, prickly "Sharpen up! / Focus on this or I'll delete!" mode.

6. Hot Air - Awarded to long-winded blowhards who gas on and on and on in a bombastic, eye-rollingly tedious manner. These commenters often have "pet" issues (gays, Jewish elites) that they manage to work into their numerous and wordy comments, regardless of the subject of the thread.

7. Janus (The Commenter) - Awarded to commenters who suddenly and violently switch from (supposedly) humorous, light-hearted banter about bowel movements, breasts, yoga and bodily fluids to vituperative, jealousy-tinged, clumsy personal insults. Has some overlap with #4. May be related to organic pathology.

8. Flamethrower - Delights in spraying the comments with combustible fuels and watching everyone go up in flames.

Nonapod said...

The idea of genital themed badges got me thinking about the TA:WP speech:

See, there are three kinds of people: dicks, pussies and assholes.

Pussies think everyone can get along and dicks just want to fuck all the time without thinking it through. But then you got your assholes. And all the assholes want is to shit all over everything.

So pussies may get mad at dicks once in a while because... pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. And if they didn't fuck the assholes, you know what you'd get? You'd get your dick and your pussy all covered in shit!

We're dicks! We're reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks! Pussies don't like dicks because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes. Assholes who just want to shit on everything.

Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way, but the only thing that can fuck an asshole... is a dick... with some balls. The problem with dicks is that sometimes they fuck too much, or fuck when it isn't apporoporate, and it takes a pussy to show 'em that.

But sometimes pussies get so full of shit that they become assholes themselves. Because pussies are only an inch and a half away from assholes.

traditionalguy said...

This smells of Crony Commenterism.

The badges will all go to insiders. The rest of us will have to start our own blog.

So you will need a badge for other Blog owners that comment here to pinch traffic... It could a coat of arms with half of a Trooper York and half of a Crack Emcee image in an Uncle Sam wants you pose.

Patrick said...

Well done Palladian.

edutcher said...

Patrick said...

I think all the badges could be phalluses

Didn't one of the skin mags (Penthouse, I think) use penises in various states of arousal for a rating system of pornos? You could do something like that.


Those were hard, you'd need something limp.

And the idea of a twat has merit - one wide open, one with a lock on it, one with the clit standing up (Oop, of course).

bgates said...

Next comes the railroad cars

Nothing would make the progs happier except for high-speed railroad cars.

Turns out it's hard to think of visual representations for five different kinds of assholes

You must be new to the internet.

Chip S. said...

Palladian, excellent stuff. Althouse should buy them from you.

chickelit said...

@Palladian: your 1:51 is outstanding! (now go stand out in the hall so not to disturb the class :)

kcom said...

The "stinkin' badges" line comes from "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" not "Blazing Saddles". It's a serious line in the movie, which is a pretty serious drama.

deborah said...

"Maybe an angel for the ladies (vb, KYLiz, Irene) who try to be constructive."

Think about it, Chip S.

Chip S. said...

Actually, kcom, that precise line is from "Blazing Saddles". The
"Treasure of Sierra Madre" quote
is:

Badges? We ain't got no badges. We don't need no badges. I don't have to show you any stinking badges.

Chip S. said...

Think about it, Chip S.

I thought I did.

What did I miss?

Patrick said...

Those were hard, you'd need something limp.

I'll assume that "you" was meant generally, and not to "me."

Otherwise I'd have to kick your ass, and give you a badge.

deborah said...

It's stupid.

Alex said...

Fat Troll badge for garage.

traditionalguy said...

Palladian is a very creative guy. I have always admired his points of view expressed so skillfully.

We should start a commenter of the year award and call it the Palladian instead of the Oscar.

Leather Daddy said...

Your readers would be best served by a badge system that follows the hanky code. And I would be happy to review any readers who apply for a "red right" badge.

mccullough said...

Tradguy,

Shouldn't we award Palladian commenter of the year award first.

Then after he wins it, we can rename it after him.

Palladian said...

Shouldn't we award Palladian commenter of the year award first.

Then after he wins it, we can rename it after him.


I definitely don't deserve the Palladian Award. I used to be a much better commenter.

Palladian said...

That was before I discovered anal sex, picnics, lobster and champagne.

mccullough said...

Palladian,

Maybe a lifetime achievement commenter award? Then we can name that award after you.

Jim Howard said...

A Godwin badge, with an image of a 3 three year old with a Swastika branded pacifier.

yashu said...

Heh, echoing the kudos for Palladian.

Other potential badges: Idee Fixe, Projector, Talking Points of the Day, Drama Queen, Drive-by Shooter.

I like "the Bob" suggestion too.

Badges of merit: the Oscar Wilde (for wit-- gayness not required), the Milton Friedman (for extraordinary economic literacy and willingness to argue cogently, patiently, with the opposition).

I'd nominate Palladian and Coketown (among others) for the first; Chip S. and Synova (among others) for the second.

Dante said...

Ok, Penises.

The knee jerk liberal penis ejaculating prematurely.

The Republican penis, thick and erect, but small.

The Democrat penis, small and erect.

The Feminist Penis, a strap on.

The Economic folks, underpants with bulging balls and large winkus.

The religious folks: a flaccid, purple penis with enormous balls.

The middle of the roaders: a penis with a hat on it.

From Inwood said...

Tank @ 1:49: Make that an uncircumcised penis for C4, please.

Patrick said...

Tips for better commenting

yashu said...

The "Rochefoucauld" merit badge for the pithy rhhardin.

Inga said...

How about a sexual pervert badge, maybe a whip, for Edutcher.

shiloh said...

"Help me fantasize"

Damn Althouse, your con flock give you multiple blog hits and some even buy your Althouse "stuff" or make donations ...

And now you want them to help you fantasize ~ truly, a bridge too far lol.

rcommal said...

:

rcommal said...

I claim the typo badge, aka "Preview, damn it! (I refuse.)" badge.

rcommal said...

I claim the typo badge, aka "Preview, damn it! (I refuse.)" badge.

Shouting Thomas said...

That's a pretty good summary, Palladian.

I see myself in four of those at different times!

Cedarford said...

Tank said...
Penis with a Hitler mustache for C-4. Or is that too harsh?


==============
We could have a zionist ball-licker badge, for those who put the interests of jews here and abroad highest and above criticism - apparantly because only jews have ever suffered, long ago, outside the US.

This could be broadened to China Firsters and black people 1st racists, should that sort of commentor ever appear in numbers and claiming immunity from any criticism of blacks or chinese.

And a badge for America Firsters...

Patrick said...

I see what you did there, rcommal.

edutcher said...

Yes, forgive me, deborah, I should have placed you in my list.

And DBQ.

shiloh said...

Help me fantasize

Damn Althouse, your con flock give you multiple blog hits and some even buy your Althouse "stuff" or make donations ...

And now you want them to help you fantasize ~ truly, a bridge too far lol.


I think we have our Johnny One Note badge.

deborah said...

lol I hate you.

Chip S. said...

There's an urgent need for this badge.

deborah said...

This one might come in handy:

http://www4.worldisround.
com/photos/6/565/275.jpg

Rusty said...

shiloh said...
"Help me fantasize"

Damn Althouse, your con flock give you multiple blog hits and some even buy your Althouse "stuff" or make donations ...

And now you want them to help you fantasize ~ truly, a bridge too far lol.

Ah! The recipient of the half wit badge is heard from.

deborah said...

PS Ed, in saying the seal with the ball, I was not endorsing you as a trained seal. I just got caught up in the moment. If you had a badge, it would be something like President of the Althouse Fan Club. I never see you trying to curry favor with your opinions.

Palladian said...

My opinion is that I favor curries.

deborah said...

I adore curry.

tastid212 said...

i think you ought to have a "douche badge"

edutcher said...

Thank you, ma'am.

Ann Althouse said...

"Tips for better commenting"

That was great!

deborah said...

"i think you ought to have a "douche badge""

ftw

wyo sis said...

Now I'm all paranoid.

deborah said...

He just has a bad memory :)

kentuckyliz said...

Awww.I was nominated for an angel badge!

I thought I'd qualify for the steaming pile of shit badge, with the flies buzzing around it. I feel like all I'm doing is indulging my brainfarts and dropping little turds here. The compulsion to self-expression.

The steaming pile of shit badge is a reminder to everyone that opinions are like assholes--everyone has one.

Maybe a combo badge, of a shitting angel.

kentuckyliz said...

AA's suggestion to have all the badges be costumed phalluses is highly offensive to this gyno-American.

How phallocentric!

As a female academic, you ought to realize we need some labia-like flowers. Georgia O'Keefe for me. Or a suggestive calla lily.

deborah said...

Good thought, kl. We can all choose the flower we identify with. Though we're getting far afield of AA's original request.

deborah said...

This one might work better for a guy:

http://www.shields
gardens.com/daylily
/ChestnustRoasting_m.jpg

deborah said...

If you google images double daylily, you'll see gardeners attempts to crossbreed daylilies to get more than six petals. Many of them look messy and ugly, but some turn out well:

https://www.google.com/search?num=10&hl=en&safe=off&site=imghp&tbm=isch&source=hp&biw=1024&bih=617&q=double+daylily&oq=double+daylily&gs_l=img.3..0i24.3063.6047.0.6531.14.8.0.6.6.0.312.1482.0j7j0j1.8.0...0.0...1ac.1.zO30EZXOpsI

http://s7ondemand5.scene7.com/is/image/ParkSeed/41560?$ps_largedetail$

edutcher said...

Hey, I was trying to be nice.

(I know, good luck around here...)

deborah said...

This one is off the chart; looks kind of like an asiatic lily:

http://www.wayeh.com
/garden/images/daylily
-tawny-double-straight
-edges-2012.jpg

(Ed, I do believe Wyo is paranoid because you mentioned her in a list recently, and now you've left her out...that or I'm just a crazy broad).


deborah said...

Okay, I think my work is done here.

Crunchy Frog said...

Guess I don't post enough for a badge.

My boss appreciates this.

p.s. where's the Titus badge?

chickelit said...

p.s. where's the Titus badge?

Palladian had him pegged in his list...you seriously can't figure out which one?

Phil 3:14 said...

I'd suggest naming them after notable previous, now gone commenters.

A sense of history, a rare commodity on the internets.

Phil 3:14 said...

Whatever you choose, keep it interesting for the lurkers.

wyo sis said...

I'm paranoid because I see myself in every badge. It's a Midwest guilt thing.
I was trying to be funny.

deborah said...

I apologize, Wyo, I guess I get the projection badge!

edutcher said...

sis, you are an angel, too (didn't mean to leave you out).

Seriously, you always try to say something that adds to the discussion.

Emil Blatz said...

I'm trained as a Skywarn spotter and I recommend that everyone HIT THE DECK NOW!

F said...

Any list of badges is incomplete without a toilet seat and a clown face.

Michelle Dulak Thomson said...

I suggest that everyone goes out and buys the Jacqui Lawson London Advent calendar, designs a snowflake, and uses it as avatar.

Alas, I don't think you can actually export them.

Marshal said...

You need a propogandist badge for people who push ideas they don't even believe to protect the shield.

deborah said...

http://www.seankane.
com/blogart/Sean-
Kane-Highlights-
Kids-Stickers.jpg

Luke Lea said...

Intelligent, thoughtful, provocative,

AllenS said...

The Grand Poobah Badge. That's for me. Let's face it, I deserve it.

AllenS said...

The Road Kill Recovery Badge. That's for, oh, you know who that's for...

deborah said...

"The Grand Poobah Badge. That's for me. Let's face it, I deserve it."

Okay, but it has to have two feathers on it.