December 20, 2012

"Malignant cells have not completely forgotten how to be healthy; they just need the right cues to guide them back to a healthy growth pattern."

Which is why squeezing breasts might stop cancer.

Via Instapundit who says, "They haven’t done human trials yet, but I say: Why take chances?" I take it he's recommending mammograms.

25 comments:

EMD said...

I keep telling my wife about this!

Now I have documented proof!

Robin said...

Uh, I'm sure that Glenn thought of mammograms ... sooner or later.

Tim the Shrubber said...

I take it he's recommending man-ograms.

Nonapod said...

So the drunken moron at the office Christmas party who is honking boobs isn't committing a sexual assault but practicing cancer prevention?

bandmeeting said...

Let me know if I can help.

Methadras said...

I've been helping my wife with that for years. Make sense now.

edutcher said...

Chivalry is not dead and millions of American men stand ready to prove it.

TommyC said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
TommyC said...

And to think I've been practicing medicine without a license for 41 years!

Paul Zrimsek said...

I feel your pain.

ricpic said...

Squeezing breasts needs no rationale!

traditionalguy said...

This is laying on of hands. It could also be effective on other conditions.

Massages are a human touch and that always helps the sick recover some strength and some hope.

The Hands of Hope is the name of a local eldercare/hospice where this miracle is seen and appreciated.

Introvert/loners without a spouse and without a church family live shorter lives. Dogs can be a great help for them until they cannot care for the animal.

Amexpat said...

I'm sure that even the prudish grey lady knew that the article would be an obvious set up for jokes.

What came to my mind was the scene in Woody Allen's "Bananas" when the hot chica gets bit by the snake and all the men chase after her to give medical assistance.

Lem said...

Squeezing breasts might stop cancer... not sure yet... but research also shows some evidence that squeezing breasts can be a first amendment precursor.

"Everyone knows that an ejaculation is a part of speech. Oxford English Dictionary definition:

The putting up of short earnest prayers in moments of emergency; the hasty utterance of words expressing emotion."

Paul said...

Yea sure Ann, he's recommending mammograms, manual mammograms.

Inga said...

I'll have to let my main squeeze know about this new development! Ah modern medicine.

traditionalguy said...

Inga probably needs her a tight fisted bastard. I see Inga as a Dolly Parton look alike from her new avatar.

Michael K said...

I thought I was only treating cancer with surgery. Little did I know I was preventing it !

Michael K said...

"Massages are a human touch and that always helps the sick recover some strength and some hope"

Prostate cancer ?

bpm4532 said...

I'll help.

wyo sis said...

I'm pretty sure Instapubdit never had a mammogram. a mammogram is not a squeeze, it's a wringer.

ironrailsironweights said...

Now I'm just waiting for the news that maintaining a Glorious Natural Pelt helps women avoid cancer.

Peter

Smilin' Jack said...

Which is why squeezing breasts might stop cancer.

Hate to be a wet blanket, but this sounds like a massively bad idea. Squeezing actual tumors could force malignant cells into the blood/lymph circulatory systems, facilitating metastasis.

""Malignant cells have not completely forgotten how to be healthy; they just need the right cues to guide them back to a healthy growth pattern.""

More New Age bullshit that is going to get some people killed.

jr565 said...

Actually women should be careful,of,mammograms. Some argue that too many mammograms leads to,cancer, simply because of how a mammogram is done.

My mom actually had breast cancer (stage zero, she's fine now) and the mammogram spotted something, but the doctor then confirmed it with an MRI. Some doctors now suggest skipping the mammogram and go right to,the MRI since the quality of the image is better anyway and the risk of cancer much less, since MRIs have almost no radiation.

jr565 said...

That, by the way wasn't me saying that doctors who treat breast cancer aren't going to go with the mammogram first. Only, it seems that the MRI is the better test, with better imaging and with less risk.
They are more expensive and time consuming to do, so perhaps not as convenient. And there is a potential,for false positives with MRI's.