June 22, 2012

Another naked cannibal...

... in Florida.
It's the third case of flesh-biting in Florida similar to the Miami incident in as many weeks. On Saturday, Giovanni Martinez allegedly bit into the arm of a hospital nurse and threatened to eat hospital staff's faces off "like that guy in Miami."

25 comments:

Patrick said...

Not the type of copycat crime we need.

Mark O said...

More evidence that the private sector is fine.

AJ Lynch said...

The FBI should create new crime categories for these Zombie/Cannibal attacks so the politicians and local Tourism Boards can persuade their police forces to refrain from using them.

traditionalguy said...

One can only hope that the New Orleans Saints coaches don't put their players on a Eating Bounty.

$500 for a thigh.

$1000 for a breast.

$1500 for a wing.

That could confirm that humans taste like chicken...but I hope not Falcon.

Bushman of the Kohlrabi said...

On Saturday, Giovanni Martinez allegedly bit into the arm of a hospital nurse and threatened to eat hospital staff's faces off "like that guy in Miami."

Giovanni sounds like a wannabe. Real zombies are all action and no talk.

Tim said...

I forget. Did we have naked cannibals running amok before Obama?

I don't think so.

Scott M said...

The ZA has already started. If you can't see it, you're in denial. Get your prescription of Phalanx, if that will make you feel better. You're better off taking your Go Bag and heading north of the snow line.

edutcher said...

At Thanksgiving, you don't ask somebody like that, "What do you want?".

Maguro said...

I blame Scott Walker.

Ross said...

Pfft. We all know Phalanx doesn't actually work on "African Rabies."

John Burgess said...

There's a reason Florida has its own tag on Fark.com.

Scott M said...

We all know Phalanx doesn't actually work on "African Rabies."

That's not what the testimonials say.

Fen said...

There's a youtube vid of a guy made up like a zombie, running around terrorizing the locals.

He's going to get himself shot.

Bob said...

You have biters committing crimes all the time, it just usually isn't reported. Now the biters are being reported because it fits into the narrative.

Leland said...

Buffet!

Rusty said...

What the fuck is in the water down there?

amba said...

Copycat.

Deborah McLaughlin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Deb said...

"...it was so fast, you know? First it was a few crazy stories in the news..." Shane, Walking Dead, Season 2

Scott M said...

"...it was so fast, you know? First it was a few crazy stories in the news..." Shane, Walking Dead, Season 2

Snow line. Get north of it. Forget about mooseburgers. You would do well to cobble together a lobo.

Scott said...

The Naked Cannibals sounds like an 80's pop group.

Naked Cannibals With Hats

Naked Cannibals At Work

etc.

William said...

This one guy acted out on children. That's really crossing the line. Cannibalism is wrong, but it's especially unethical when practiced on children. I know some here are going to claim that they are lower in cholesterol but that doesn't make it right.

Scott M said...

I know some here are going to claim that they are lower in cholesterol but that doesn't make it right.

Cormac McCarthy showed that they were an easily replenishable food source, though the intervening four or five months can get a bit hungry.

Deb said...

"...it was so fast, you know? First it was a few crazy stories in the news..." Shane, Walking Dead, Season 2

Snow line. Get north of it. Forget about mooseburgers. You would do well to cobble together a lobo.


Darryl is my lobo.

Darrell said...

Monkey see, monkey do.
Your kindergarten text explained it all.