May 29, 2012

"I lived my whole life in New York and never experienced something this crazy."

Absurd statement from a man who witnessed a naked man biting off chunks of another naked man's face, swallowing the flesh, and growling and continuing face feast after he was shot by police. 

Now, what is it about New York City that makes people think that everything happens there and they'll be seeing all manner of bizarre activity to the point where it would occur to that man to comment that, despite living his whole life in New York City, he's never seen anything at that level of insanity?

41 comments:

ndspinelli said...

Cheeseheads are provincial. Nyer's are loud, obnoxious, profane, stupid, myopic, arrogant and provincial. That's how.

Joaquin said...

Please! NYC and New Yorkers have prided themselves for being 'on the edge' Just like Chicago thrives on being the tough-guy city. They like it like that.

The Drill SGT said...

well the zombie apocalypse doesn't happen every say, even in NYC

Dante said...

"Only in New York."

- Me, chuckling to myself after watching a squirrel eat an acorn in Central Park.

Scott M said...

Patient Zero has not been located. Patient Zero is whoever bit this maniac. The Z.A. starting in Miami has all kinds o' socio-cultural overtones, doesn't it?

Odd that this should happen right around the wider release of Juan Of The Dead, isn't it?

ricpic said...

How about the 23 year old "hipster" (so described in the NY Post) who was so drunk that she drove her car through a house, literally crashed into the front of the house and came out the back side, and walked away with only scratches to show for it? This happened yesterday in Huntington, Long Island, which is technically in the New York metropolitan area. Happened at 4 AM. The home owners? Asleep upstairs they were untouched. But a little upset.

Or maybe this sort of thing happens everywhere.

Michael said...

One of my NY friends was amazed, thirty years ago, to know that the Memphis zoo was both larger and better than the zoo in Central Park. He made me repeat the fact that Memphis had live lions and tigers. More than one of each. I doubt he believed me.

Balfegor said...

Now, what is it about New York City that makes people think that everything happens there

As noted above -- New Yorkers are astonishingly provincial. I don't think there's any other city where I've met people who remarked with pride that they'd never left the city limits. Also, I think some of them (I don't know whether it's the natives or the transplants) take a sort of perverse pride in living in their rotting, rat-infested Morlocks-and-Eloi dystopia. Some of them get a little frisson from imagining that extraordinary instances of human depravity are going on all the time around them, and they're too jaded to care, so they're a trifle shocked when something depraved actually shocks them.

Tank said...

The old joke is that NYers believe that the US ends at the Hudson River.

On the other hand, you do see and hear a lot of crazy sh** in NY.

ricpic said...

In On The Waterfront the Marlon Brando character says "I don't like the country, the crickets make me nervous." There you have the New York mentality in one sentence.

Scott M said...

On the other hand, you do see and hear a lot of crazy sh** in NY.

A few years back, I think it was a newly arrived Rolling Stone writer that took a bet to spend one night in Central Park. His article chronicled the surreal existence of park dwellers between dusk and dawn the next morning and it was a pretty good read, if creepy.

EDH said...

The naked cannibal was probably following Barney Frank's advice not to wear anything that looks like a hoodie so that no one would shoot at him.

Didn't work.

Conversely, honorary degree recipient Hubie Jones was not shot by police at the commencement even though Barney Frank did "lose face" after his failed attempt at humor.

elkh1 said...

Has the New Yorker known someone who eats dogs?

edutcher said...

There used to be rules in Gotham. Starting in the 50s, the rules were gradually thrown out by the Lefties.

ricpic said...

How about the 23 year old "hipster" (so described in the NY Post) who was so drunk that she drove her car through a house, literally crashed into the front of the house and came out the back side, and walked away with only scratches to show for it? This happened yesterday in Huntington, Long Island, which is technically in the New York metropolitan area. Happened at 4 AM. The home owners? Asleep upstairs they were untouched. But a little upset.

Or maybe this sort of thing happens everywhere.


More than you might imagine, but, since the Big Apple is home to so many media outlets, anything weird that happens gets global coverage.

Icepick said...

The only reason anyone is remarking upon this story is because the two individuals were naked AND there was cannibalism AND it happened outdoors AND it happened in the daytime. Any two or three of those things happens down here all the time. We had serial killers coming out of the woodwork all the time down here BEFORE the US government decided that all of Haiti should be relocated to Florida. (Thank you Bill and Hillary - may you both burn in Hell for all Eternity for fucking over Florida like that.) Now that the Haitians are here spreading the voodoo and the zombie shit everything has gone all to Hell. It used to be we just had people committing crimes against humanity and serial killers, now it's fucking Zombie World.

virgil xenophon said...

Balfegor/

New Orleanians will give the NYC crowd a run for their money in claiming the "most provincial" trophy. Remember, Mardis Gras wasn't invented to draw the tourists; it was something Orleanians did to amuse themselves. Most Orleanians (save for the chamber of commerce) could care less whether anybody else comes or not..

MadisonMan said...

If I witnessed a man eating another man's face off, I don't know how coherent or non-absurd my statement about it would be.

Saint Croix said...

The funniest thing to me was when New York discovered Krispy Kreme. All the journalists were like, "Krispy Kreme! Krispy Kreme!" They would write odes to the Krispy Kreme doughnut. It was like Krispy Kreme didn't exist until New York discovered it. Hilarious.

traditionalguy said...

I thought Miami was New York City South, with a Cuban neighborhood added.

Florida is first the choice of smart psychos. You appear as normal as the other residents and the weather is good for sleeping outside all night all year.

Mitchell said...

It's a shame the Daily News couldn't quote someone who said, "This is my first day in New York and I've never experienced something this crazy."

Paco Wové said...

"Any two or three of those things happens down here all the time."

Exactly. As an ex-resident, my first thought on hearing this was, of course it's Miami.

Icepick said...

Florida is first the choice of smart psychos. You appear as normal as the other residents and the weather is good for sleeping outside all night all year.

Let me explain: The killers themselves might not sleep out doors. But because people CAN sleep outdoors all year long, we get lots of transients, homeless people and runaways. Come February, you want to sleep outside in Daytona Beach Florida or Bismark North Fucking Dakota?

All those transient types make for WONDERFUL targets. They can be killed (plus whatever) and hardly anyone will miss them. Serial Killer paradise! Plus, you can come down here and kill some people on vacation before returning home. Florida doesn't just have Disney World, Florida IS Disney World for psycho killers. ("Que-est que c'est?")

Icepick said...

Just remember, all the crazy shit you saw in Pacino's Scarface or Miami Vice was toned down for public consumption. Florida, the Rules are Different Here!

Erika said...

It's been my anecdotal observation, not ever having actually lived there but having lots of friends and family who do plus consuming a lot of news, that there is NO END to the crazy shit that goes down in Florida.

Glad to hear from Mr. Icepick that my suspicions seem to be correct!

Scott M said...

Let's make sure we're differentiating between southern Florida and the Redneck Riviera. The panhandle has nowhere near the oddballs and transients that the dong has.

MisterBuddwing said...

I'm not convinced that the witness' comment was "absurd" or hyperbole. If I'd seen something like that, it would be way up there on my list, New Yorker or not. (Or is seeing the Twin Towers fall more deserving of a statement like that?)

In On The Waterfront the Marlon Brando character says "I don't like the country, the crickets make me nervous." There you have the New York mentality in one sentence.

Silly me, I thought that was a Woody Allen line - that's what I get for seeing "Annie Hall" but not "On the Waterfront."

virgil xenophon said...

@icepick, Paco Wove, et al/

There is A REASON the award-winning book by Carl Haasen: "Sick Puppy" is centered in South Florida. LOL!

William said...

There's some hope. No ACLU type has yet to make the argument that face eating is free speech or that killing face eaters is rampant police brutality.....Face eating is such an apt metaphor for the excesses of capitalism that it's just a matter of time before the OWS takes it up. If they remain clothed and maintain a proper sense of decorum while face-eatiing, I'm sure the ACLU will present a spirited defense.

Balfegor said...

There's some hope. No ACLU type has yet to make the argument that face eating is free speech or that killing face eaters is rampant police brutality/

It is a religious ritual, a blood sacrifice performed with mind expanding drugs to touch another plane and call to our mad god from where he slumbers in the empty spaces between the stars. Totally protected by the First Amendment.

Balfegor said...

Incidentally, have they identified the victim yet? He's described as homeless, although I wonder how they knew that, since (a) he was naked, and (b) the madman ate his face. That's a really horrible way to go.

Alex said...

No doubt Crack will imply this zombie was into New Age and that all New Agers are just waiting to eat us.

Edgehopper said...

The day I moved into NYU Law student housing, there was a naked homeless guy ranting in the middle of MacDougal St. In the middle of the day. No one seemed to care.

Hence the NYC stereotype.

Cedarford said...

Another unarmed black man shot down!
When will Al Sharpton and the liberals and progressive Jews of the national media that set "The Narrative" begin to exploit this.

Was the officer that shot the deranged black thug a "white hispanic"?

Is there really a zero chance that Obama will note that Rudy Eugene (the cannibal thug with a long rap sheet) looks like the son Obama never had?

TreeJoe said...

I think people are fairly sterilized to the reality of what happened, from their own lives or from distance in reading about it vs. seeing it.

A man was eating another man's face. We're not talking about he was ripping his face off with his teeth - we're talking actual consumption with blood squirting, fresh being chewed on, and an absolute animal ferocity.

On top of that, for some reason, both men were naked - which heightens the weirdness. And it was happening in stark reality - no darkness to hide it in or soften the image.

Then, to go on, after the cannibal was shot once he didn't really slow down. He kept going - more blood and flesh spattering around, more chewing and the sounds that loud chewing makes, more screams and gurgles from the victim.

Despite people being there, this cannibal in essence consumed an entire face. That's ALOT of skin, connective tissue, some muscle, etc.

Meaning this wasn't something someone watched for a few seconds. This took time.

I don't think the commenters here and elsewhere realize the depth of that reality.

I can think of few things in my lifetime that truly inspired me to go beyond "drug crazed" to actual think "Demon possessed?" - but this is one of them.

Laura said...

Somewhere on the Web there is an article where Maggie Gyllenhaal relates the story of watching a drug induced breakdown in the street and locking the door in her early days in NYC.

Could only find this: http://www.salon.com/2012/05/18/maggie_gyllenhaal_on_sexual_liberation.

Money quote: "I have to say the question of historical accuracy, or lack thereof, really never bothered me. It’s not that kind of movie."

Hannibal Lecter and cocaine psychosis, yummy....

Mitchell said...

Face tastes like chicken.

sleepless nights said...

@Edgehopper Having had to wade through these types on the way to class, it's the best policy to pretend not not see him. You really don't want a naked, ranting guy taking notice of you.

ndspinelli said...

Mitchell LOL

Methadras said...

In 85-86 moved from San Diego to go work for Siemens Medical in my very early engineering career. I live in the upper west side. 81st and Columbus thereabouts. The first week I was fine, biking to work around 5 am or so to get to the office around 7'ish. It was fun, until the homeless zombies would come out of the alleys to stalk me and my bicycle. There was one bastard homeless fucker, who I named Skimpy. That rat bastard used to come out from behind his dumpster and jam a broken broom stick handle into my spokes. Those fuckers wanted my bike, but I fought back.

Because I biked to work, the company had a club membership in the building so I took a shower there every morning. So I would carry a couple of bars of soap with my and stick them in a pillow case and tie it in a knot and when the homeless zombies would come out, I'd swing that thing around and whack em with it. They would chase me for about 30 seconds or so cussing up a storm on how they would get my bike and eat my insides, but I thwarted them. I think they are all dead now. May they rot in homeless zombie hell.

John Lynch said...

If he'd lived in San Fransisco we'd be all, OK, that's something.

Methadras said...

John Lynch said...

If he'd lived in San Fransisco we'd be all, OK, that's something.


Not compared to the fulsom street fair. :D