November 14, 2011

Ronald Reagan "made sure I was aware of the length of time he had been 'ardent.' It was 40 minutes."

Writes Piper Laurie, who is now 79 but was 18 when the 39-year-old Reagan relieved her of her virginity. Reagan's not around to dispute the long untold tale, but Laurie says she complained that she was nevertheless unsatisfied, and Reagan told her she should see a doctor about that.

Whatever. I can't find a clip of her in that movie with Reagan — "Louisa." (She was great in "Carrie.") Reagan played her father in "Louisa," but that doesn't make it incest, you know. And he asked her mother permission to take her out on a date, he made her hamburgers, and — as noted — he was ardent for 40 minutes.

59 comments:

Gumby said...

All this occurred while he was dating Nancy Davis.

Curious George said...

"Gumby said...
All this occurred while he was dating Nancy Davis."

Uh, no: "In her memoir Laurie said that she met Reagan after he was no longer married to actress Jane Wyman but had not yet begun dating his second wife, Nancy Davis."

glenn said...

Only 40 minutes, Piper, you got cheated.

Palladian said...

I should've killed myself when he put it in me. After the first time, before we were married, Ronnie promised never again. He promised, and I believed him. But sin never dies. Sin never dies. At first, it was all right. We lived sinlessly. We slept in the same bed, but we never did it. And then, that night, I saw him looking down at me that way. We got down on our knees to pray for strength. I smelled the whiskey on his breath. Then he took me. He took me, with the stink of filthy roadhouse whiskey on his breath, and I liked it. I liked it! With all that dirty touching of his hands all over me.

Curious George said...

If true what have we learned?

Piper Laurie is selfish, a bitch and a slut.

A. Shmendrik said...

You can't please everybody.

Pogo said...

So what did the doctor say?

Get a new stopwatch?

MnMark said...

Badmouthing a guy's bedroom manners after he's dead and can't defend himself...sullying his reputation...

Real class act that lady is. Guess she needed something to sell her book.

traditionalguy said...

I for one am thankful that Reagan did not marry her. He would have been too tired to be President... talk about sleeping late.

Irene said...

I think of Piper Laurie as a blue-collar Blythe Danner.

BarryD said...

Kiss and tell. Classy.

ampersand said...

FTA Reagan told her: 'There’s something wrong with you. You should have had many orgasms by now - after all this time. You’ve got to see a doctor.'

Something's wrong here. I don't believe the female orgasm was discovered and named prior to the 1970s

WV:stchumse . He threw her the stchumse for a good solid 40 minutes and still she couldn't make the o face.

Amartel said...

She had 60 years to tell her little story but didn't. Waited until he was long dead. Waited until she needed to profit. Statute of limitations on credibility has run. Buh Bye.

Amartel said...

If he wasn't a Republican he would be celebrated, not mocked, for this particular effort. Waitress sandwich, anyone? (Yes, I know this happened during his Democrat days; the story's being told in the present and in the present he is a conservative icon.)

Carol_Herman said...

Wow! Ronald Reagan wasn't a virgin!

Ronald Reagan found "poon" when he was a famous actor.

Wow. Yesterday. At Reddit I thought I saw the best comeback line ever!

It said when a woman says to a man, she wouldn't have sex with him, "if he was the last man on earth." The comeback line is:

And, who would stop me?

Here? I love Reagan's response!

If a woman can't climax after she's had sex, it's not the man's fault. Reagan's advice was sound: "Go see a doctor."

Seems he was not only good at comeback standing on his feet. He was also funny after having sex with a woman!

And, ya know what else? Imagine remembering back decades ... to a sex parner you had when you were young. (I'd have thought that would have been impossible.) Of course, while most men's names would be impossible to remember; this wouldn't be true if you partnered with Reagan. Or JFK. Maybe, even Brando?

OldGrouchyCranky said...

Two random comments:
1. When will Gloria Allred hold her press conference regarding this latest charge of improper sexual conduct on a part of a famous Republican?
2. What's the statute on limitations of this serious charge?

Oh, I forgot, Ronnie was a Democrat during this period in his life, so it's all OK; This is kinda like swimming the channel over to Edgartown, an authorized exercise. Or, maybe it's more like putting Marilyn Monroe down.

Original Mike said...

She said 'ardent'. Heh, heh.

LordSomber said...

She said to him, "Tear down this wall!"

ampersand said...

Laurie says she complained that she was nevertheless unsatisfied

Maybe she wanted another hamburger.

edutcher said...

Ms Laurie writes like a bad rip off of Mickey Spillane.

I have a feeling it has more in common with Mike Hammer than that.

Anybody know her politics?

Maybe she's Carol Herman and just makes it up as she goes.

rhhardin said...

Irish riagan, little king

Methadras said...

Sissy Spacek had nice boobies.

Methadras said...

Wait, I thought althouse was an ardent free zone.

Bob_R said...

Was there a better time to spill this? Reagan's gone. Nancy is gone. No harm. No foul.

Chip S. said...

So much for the old joke that men prefer virgins b/c they can't stand criticism.

Ralph L said...

The power of suggestion: whenever she appeared, Reagan heard people say "Pipe her, Pipe her."

If he'd been "ardent" for 40 minutes, he'd have still been married to Jane Wyman, who tired of the political discussions and spent the next 40 years bedding sweaty vineyard workers twice a day.

Craig said...

A virginal 18 year old Hollywood actress? Isn't that a bit oxymoronic?

A. Shmendrik said...

Blogger MnMark said...

Badmouthing a guy's bedroom manners after he's dead and can't defend himself...sullying his reputation...

Real class act that lady is. Guess she needed something to sell her book.


There must be a term for this phenomenon - when a Hollywood type is past their prime and only has the kiss and tell memoir to sell.

I think the epitome of such publicity seeking had to be an appearance I saw of Eve Arden on The Tonight show with Johnny Carson, pitching her then current autobiography. She made some allusions to having been at a party with Clark Gable back in the day, indicating that he was too inebriated to drive, so she drove him home. Arden is kind of overdoing the winks and the body language to Carson, who is clearly too embarrassed to help this over the hill B-grade actress sell her book. And her hints were from an era when those things conveyed something, but it was already the 1980's and more explicit references were needed to make sure the audience got the point. But she was so old, and the references were so feint that you could kinda tell the studio audience was confused as to whether it was a roll in the hay or just a drive home. It was pathetic. I read that at her funeral approximately 10 years later, everyone who showed up got a copy.

Chip S. said...

Laurie says she complained that she was nevertheless unsatisfied

Possibly due to an
unusual condition
that would remain improperly diagnosed for another 22 years.

(Link mildly NSFW)

ricpic said...

If a woman can't climax after she's had sex, it's not the man's fault.

During, Carol, during.

Chip S. said...

If a woman can't climax after she's had sex, it's not the man's fault.
...

During, Carol, during.

Gotta agree with CH on this one. After she's had sex, a woman's in DIY territory.

Jose_K said...

virginal 18 year old Hollywood actress? Isn't that a bit oxymoronic
In a Hollywood reunion someone asked if there any virgin there. A woman with a child in his arm raied up. Common...
Not me, her

rcocean said...

Who is Piper Laurie?

Oh wait, I remember = she said the same thing to JFK, and JFK told her talk to the 500 broads who were satisfied.

She tried to say the same thing to Ted Kennedy, but he was fast asleep drunk.

Craig said...

Falconcrest was the only redeeming feature of the Reagan presidency.

David said...

Publicity whore!

The other kind? Who knows.

YoungHegelian said...

That was sooooo ruuude of Reagan to tell her that she needed to see a doctor!

A gentleman always tells a woman that he fails to satisfy that she must be a lesbian or somethin'.

David said...

And, ya know what else? Imagine remembering back decades ... to a sex parner you had when you were young. (I'd have thought that would have been impossible.)

You are kidding, right, Carol?

You should see a doctor.

cassandra lite said...

Has the stink of fiction. She wants us to believe that, in 1950, a virgin who's shtupped for 40 minutes by a big star would "complain" about not being satisfied? Hah! In 1950, most girls her age were losing their virginity to guys who were ardent for about 40 seconds, and those girls weren't "empowered" enough to say squat about squat. Desperation, they name is Piper Laurie.

(Let me clarify that I believe she may possibly have lost her virginity to RR. The part that's fiction is that she said anything about not being satisfied. And by the way, if her story is true, she did indeed need to see a doc.)

Craig said...

Jane Wyman arrived in Hollywood at age 15 and got her first bit part in a movie in 1932 after leaving behind first a broken home and then a foster home in the midwest. She was basically a teenage runaway. She met Reagan on the set of Brother Rat, one of her first starring roles, after appearing in approximately forty films, half of them uncredited. Reagan was in the military at the time. He played a plebe enrolled at a military academy. She taught him everything he needed to know about acting. If Piper Laurie had trouble getting off, Reagan should have told her to consult his ex-wife.

madAsHell said...

I can imagine boinkin' an 18 year old.

I can't imagine hangin' around long enough to discuss the act. When you're 39, you haven't anything in common with an 18 year old.

Craig said...

Who is Piper Laurie?

Recall Paul Newman in a movie called Hustler?

Kevin said...

Yeah, I call b.s. An 18 year old virgin in the 1950's wouldn't know what a female orgasm was. Not even in Hollywood. Unless maybe she was an "everything but" girl with loads of experience. By 1950's standards, loads and loads of experience.

And dude, going at a virgin for 40 minutes? Even if you can, isn't that in itself a bit rude? I mean, losing your virginity hurts, right? Even at 18, and even in Hollywood. If the story was true, he's have to ram her through 40 minutes of sobbing and tears, and then everyone would be amazed that she didn't have an orgasm? The whole scene is utterly implausible.

William said...

Well, if he took her virginity and did not ask her out for a second date, she has a right to harbor a grudge for fifty years.....I think the rules for show biz autobiographies are that if you're a big star, you talk about the formative influences to your art. If, however, you're a has been, you tell about every famous person you ever slept with.

William said...

Laurence Oliver never had an affair with Danny Kaye.

glam1931 said...

Bob_R, Nancy is not "gone". I just saw her on TV with Marco Rubio a few weeks ago. If she had passed in the last few weeks, I think we would have noticed.
What Laurie has done is hateful and hurtful.

Carol_Herman said...

Let me see if I have this right?

Piper Laurie, was a young fuck. And, 5 minutes after the screwing Ronald Reagan forgot about her. Never called her, again. Is this the epitomy of a one-night-stand, or what?

400 years later ... the woman remembers the 40 minutes. And, her complaint that she didn't have an orgasm.

How long did Brando last when she tried this with him?

Anyway, way more telling. Once Reagan committed to Nancy Reagan, I don't think he fooled around with other women.

Nancy has proven to be one heck of a wife.

And, Ronald Reagan sure did love her! Even at the end. With the Alzheimer's. There was a flicker of recognition.

Not so much for Piper Laurie's screen career. It was over in a flash.

Bob_R said...

Nancy is not gone! Very sorry, for some reason I thought she had died last year. My apologies to Nancy. Keep hanging in there. (I had negative things to say about Nancy years ago, but she hung in with Ron through what had to be some really tough times at the end. In my book she earned all the good karma she's ever going to need.)

vet66 said...

Pass the popcorn as the progressives attempt to destroy the conservatives and Republicans one leader after another as 2012 approaches.

They are duping themselves if they believe the public is as ill-informed as progressives are blind to reality. What we have here is a senile old lady having her life put on display for filthy lucre and cheap shot political bushwhacking undoubtedly by a ghost writer.

As usual, their timing is as perfect as it is predicable.

ElPresidenteCastro said...

Only 40 minutes? He fucked my country for 8 straight years.

Christopher in MA said...

"Was there a better time to spill this?"

How about never? There used to be a thing called 'decorum' (it means having decency, for those of you on the left). Neither a gentleman nor a lady ever kissed and told. Now, of course, this is the first resort of the infantile Hollyweird type desperately seekign that 16th minute of fame, or the last gasp of a former "star" feeling the cold hand of Death on their shoulder (for example, Florence "John Lindsay gave me crabs" Henderson).

But it doesn't really matter. Laurie can say Reagan raped her in the crib if she wants. 100 years from now, he will still be an historic colossus and Piper Laurie will be as much as household name as Leatrice Joy.

Mike said...

As RR might have said to Ms. Piper, "There you go again".

But you know these whitebread boys will never be 60 minute men. But Ms. Piper who has apparently had several opportunities to "compare and contrast" should know by now that 40 minutes isn't so bad.

EDH said...

"The boys (laughing). The boys, yes, the boys. (runs over to Carrie, covering her ears)

After the blood, comes the boys. Like sniffing dogs."

Craig said...

Not so much for Piper Laurie's screen career. It was over in a flash.

Three Oscar nominations in three different decades? A film, stage and television career now entering a seventh decade? How many times was Ronald Reagan nominated for an Oscar?

Kirby Olson said...

Time and quality have nothing to do with one another, do they?

knox said...

This reminds me of the guy who talked about his "date" with Christine O'Donnell. There's something especially classless about people who divulge intimate details like this.

Thorley Winston said...

Recall Paul Newman in a movie called Hustler?

Wait, the guy who makes salad dressing was in a movie?

;)

Didn’t Piper Laurie already write a book under the pen name “Kitty Kelley”?

rcocean said...

Remember her from the "Hustler"?

Not really. I remember Newman, Scott, and Gleason, and a drunk chick.

So the drunk chick was Piper Laurie? Well OK - I guess the over 65 set probably remember her better.

Craig said...

She got married right after The Hustler, so didn't really capitalize on the fame of her first Oscar nomination. She performed on and off Broadway for the next fifteen years while doing the mommy thing. Then returned with a vengeance in 1976 in Carrie as Carrie's mom. Her third nomination came ten years later in Children Of A Lesser God, as the mother of a deaf mute girl. Marlee Matalin's Oscar for best actress has some resonance with the role that won Jane Wyman her Oscar four decades earlier as Johnny Belinda. Wyman was still doing Falcon Crest at the time. Piper Laurie has a right to sing the blues.

E.M. Davis said...

Only 40 minutes? He fucked my country for 8 straight years.'

Yes, his time in office was utter hell. Mugabe-eqsue in its essence.