October 19, 2011

"Name something you put in your mouth, but don't swallow."

Daytime television, sexy as ever.

55 comments:

Mark O said...

Dentures?

Chip Ahoy said...

toothbrush
pencil
bottle cap
crack pipe
pea shooter
blow dart

Triangle Man said...

Thermometer

NYTNewYorker said...

Paging Mr. Titus to the white courtesy phone, Mr. Titus to the white courtesy phone please.

Jim said...

Harmonica
Sax mouthpiece and reed when soaking.

Paddy O said...

small rocks

Marica said...

Gum.

Bob Ellison said...

um, cigarette?

Scott M said...

Bill Clinton: pot smoke.

E.M. Davis said...

Paging Mr. Titus to the white courtesy phone, Mr. Titus to the white courtesy phone please.

Titus reportedly prefers courtesy phones of color, thank you.

Pogo said...

Slogans.

Scott M said...

A dead lizard, if you're Jesus.

Fen said...

Straw
Toothpaste
Mouthwash
Silverware

Fen said...

Ice

E.M. Davis said...

Dental Floss
Mouthwash
Chewing Tobacco
Toothpick
Thumb
Golf Tee

Fen said...

Barrel of a gun
and the bullet

Pogo said...

Lies.
Promises.


But I repeat myself.

PETER V. BELLA said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
PETER V. BELLA said...

TV is going into the toilet. Soon it will be just as bad as politics.

Fen said...

Air

EDH said...

Wouldn't guessing penis come before guessing "sperm," since at least some fraction of the population of dick suckers, rather than spit, either swallow or eschew the ejaculate entirely?

Scott M said...

Air

Which would also include other people's farts.

"It was in my ass. Now it's in your brain."

Chip S. said...

Apparently the survey respondents swallow.

AllenS said...

Bill Clinton's penis.

Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Chip S. said...

Sea urchin, but only once.

Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ndspinelli said...

Steve Harvey has one of the best standup acts out there. He should be more successful.

Cellulose Shepherd said...

sadly, often times my foot

SBVOR said...

Cigar?

Where is Monica Lewinsky when we need her most?

sean said...

It's interesting the bifurcation of American culture. You have mediums like rap music and daytime TV (the latter watched mostly by women), which are incredibly vulgar and sexually explicit, and then you have a set of regulated environments, like workplaces and classrooms, where speech of this sort can get you fired.

The Victorians had a similarly bifurcated culture (though the divisions were not in the same place), and later generations considered them hypocrites. In fact, we still do. I wonder what later generations will think of us?

J said...

One of the obnoxious shows in Teeveeland, featuring Harvey the dyslexic preacher

Quaestor said...

Scott M. Wrote:
A dead lizard, if you're Jesus.

I never studied holy scripture, and if this is scriptural I never will.

Scott M said...

I never studied holy scripture, and if this is scriptural I never will.

It's from a gospel that got left out of the version we think of as the Bible.

edutcher said...

Q-tip (with something on it).

Actually, if that were the answer, the choices would be:

spit, swallow, or gargle.

Quaestor said...

Chip Ahoy wrote:
...blow dart

Nah, the blow dart goes in the near end of the blowgun tube (some sources say blowpipe), which is held to the lips, not placed in the oral cavity.

Unless the Amazonian blowgun hunter shoots you in the mouth... I mean you in the general sense... unless J is reading this.

Scott M said...

Actually, I don't think that gospel was written until an Angel made Biff spend weeks in a hotel room writing it. Coincidentally, the angel was hooked on daytime soaps.

Joe said...

(The Uncredentialed, Crypto Jew)

small rocks


Grape Gravy?

Joe said...

(The Uncredentialed, Crypto Jew)


ScottM I think you and “J” are attending the same church…..

Scott M said...

Joe, you went and ruined it

Joe said...

(The Uncredentialed, Crypto Jew)
Joe, you went and ruined it

I may HAVE to order that, now.

Scott M said...

It's one of the funniest books I've ever read. I doubt seriously they ever make it into a movie, though it screams out to be.

E.M. Davis said...

small rocks

Ask Brando.

WineSlob said...

What Has Clung to His Ass-Kissing Tongue
Is Flung Toward His French Kissee's Lung
But a Slip of His Tongue
Near the Ass Kissee's Bung
She's Swallowing Flung Dung Ass Foo Yung.

Curious George said...

"I'd have to say in the butt Bob"

Oh, wait, wrong game show.

Sixty Grit said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
gutless said...

Hey all you hipsters and cool cats that are like taking cheap shots at Jesus. Wow, are you guys and gals clever, transgressive and way out there!. Way cool, man. You're hep to the jive. Now it's time to get bent. Please do so now. Thank you for your compliance.

Scott M said...

Hey all you hipsters and cool cats that are like taking cheap shots at Jesus.

Who's taking cheap shots at Jesus?

MadisonMan said...

I also like the link to the Ellen deGeneres question that is at that site.

Joe Schmoe said...

Paging Mr. Titus to the white courtesy phone, Mr. Titus to the white courtesy phone please.

He's already answered this question to my satisfaction many times. Tits and clouds, baby.

wv: foulnma 'Pa was foulnma by putt'n something in her mouth that she wouldn't swaller.'

Carnifex said...

Beyond sophomoric. Beavis and Butthead without the cynicism. Does anyone who thinks beyond grade school level think this is funny? "he said penis" "huh huh huhhhuh uh"
"No he didn't buttmunch. He said cock!" "HEHHEHHHEEEHHHEHHH"
"Shut up Beavis, Your Mom said it too." "huhhuu huuh uu huhhu hu"
Harvey should have looked at the cameras and said "Either get me some real f$%^ing writes or I quit" But the moneys free and easy.

Mary Beth said...

A sexual reference ≠ sexy.

gutless said...

Scott M., odd you should be the only person to question the "Jesus" post. Are you being a cool cat down with the jive again? I'll bet you are wearing a zoot suit with a reet pleat. Heavy, man. Real George. You are up with the latest jive. Stay nervous Pervus. You are a bold guy. I'd suggest you work "poo poo" into your next post to really be hip. Stay solid, Jack.

jeff said...

2 broke girls. 7:30 pm. Former rich girl, now poor. Has big roll of cash in her hand and ex boyfriend who dumped her after she lost all her money is at her restaurant.
"It will be nice to throw my wad in his face for once."

CBS.

Craig said...

Beche de mer.