October 27, 2011

"I went to the bar and I ordered a Jack and coke and I turned around and locked eyes with Tania..."

"... and before I took the drink I set it down and I walked over and I asked her if she wanted to go and have a cup of coffee with me - and we haven't been apart since."

Don't you already know whether you want to believe the stories Glenn Beck tells?

63 comments:

madAsHell said...

Jack and Coke??

I thought it was going to be a joke about frat boys.

Pastafarian said...

For a moment I thought you were typing out the lyrics to the Kinks' Lola. L-o-l-a, Lola.

Mitochondri-Allie said...

If Tania would have been smart she would have turned around and ran like hell.

NYTNewYorker said...

And why is that Mito?

ricpic said...

I love the guy but enough with the waterworks.

William said...

The article says that he now makes $27 million a year with his new web site.....I'm not sure what lesson to draw. If only all lives were as karmic and exemplary as that of Steve Jobs.

Chip S. said...

@Mito--A smart liberal like you ought to take care to use the pluperfect subjunctive properly.

If Tania had been smart...

edutcher said...

I thought this was a flashback to the post about the woman who got creeped out because a guy invited her to have coffee in his hotel room.

PS Guys who look like Beck don't meet girls named Tania.

Guys who look like Sean Connery or Errol Flynn do.

WV "doushe" Go for it.

Pastafarian said...

Mitochondri, you seem to be very unhappy today -- bouncing from thread to thread dropping insults and whatnot.

Here's a little tip: Just close your eyes, take a deep breath, and think of all of the things that you're lucky to have, whether they're children, a spouse, loving parents. And think of how many people have less, and how much worse things could be.

And then take a shot of Patron. Since you're a girl, include a twist of lime.

Afterward, everything will seem just a little bit better. Honest.

Mike said...

I don't worry about whether I "want" to believe the stories Glenn Beck tells. My wife is a big Glenn Beck fan and as a result I hear him on the radio or saw him on TV more than I would like.

But if you're a sentient human being you can usually figure out whether someone is selling you a basket of biscuits--or a bushel of BS. Beck frequently has extended monologues on American history. Having gone through public schools and universities in the day when history was actually taught (no GLBT studies for me) and having read extensively since then to continue my education, much of his "historical stuff" "checks out". So that much I believe.

As for "locking eyes with Tania" and being with her forever after that, I've seen that sort of thing happen with a few friends.

J said...

It's probably accurate, that is....when you change Tania to like...some young LDS missionary Beckster met back in the day.

Chuck66 said...

I listen to Beck's radio show on occassion. His humor parts are quite good. He and his side kick are quite entertaining. His survivalist rants not so good.

ndspinelli said...

Jack and Coke= Loser. You don't mix bourbon w/ anything except maybe water..same w/ scotch. Now..the late great Stevie Ray Vaughn would pour coke into his bourbon because his nostrils were destroyed. But man the motherfucker could play guitar!

AJ Lynch said...

Beck is an odd guy. In my experience, love at first sight involves multiple adult beverages but never coffee.

Joseph said...

I feel out of the loop when it comes to Glenn Beck. I stopped watching cable television shortly before he became a big deal and he isn't one of the talkers I listen to so I really don't know much about him.

Basically, I have heard that he cries and uses a dry erase board alot.

traditionalguy said...

Glen Beck dramatizes everything.He is performance art incarnate.

But it gets boring when you realize that he is using your emotions to get you to believe stories without evidence.

ndspinelli said...

Like the good professor, I'll bet Beck has the Monkees on his ipod. Who was your favorite Monkee..oh please, please, let it be Davey Jones..he was so boss! I see he now prefers David. He's the artist formerly known as Davey.

Coketown said...

Glenn Beck put down a drink and walked away? Buuuuull-shiiiiit.

Job said...

Beck is pretty talented. He is a good story teller and can be tolerably funny.

And he is correct that disasters are possible and people should be prepared for them.

But he has lost touch with reality.

I am amazed at the crazy things that I hear him say.

clemster said...

What's the harm in romanticizing a moment when you met someone you care about? It's not like he is claiming a Nobel Prize, or a Medal of Honor. Liberals think that by attacking every single utterance of a Conservative, that the Conservative will seem less credible. Not at all, it simply illustrates how petty and unevolved liberals are.

Audie Murphys Mom said...

I think Glenn Beck is just terrible. How can you silly people stand to listen to his lies.

Now Keith Olberman! Hes so dreamy and always tells the truth.

MaggotAtBroad&Wall said...

When I was single, young and lived in NYC, I fell in love about 10 times a day with the various women I saw. Unfortunately, none of the relationships last more than a few seconds.

Chip Ahoy said...

So it's true then, Beck left Fox due to difficulty getting advertisers.

The despised Beck off the intolerable Fox. The boycotts worked. Take a bow. It must feel like a victory for diversity.

And within three months his GBTV is generating annual revenues $27 million from subscription fees by monetizing 1% of his Fox audience (+ radio show + websites). So now I must pay to hear him.

You know, I turned on the radio in the truck for the first time in two years. Snapped it back off within twenty seconds. That'll be it for another two years probably so I doubt I'll be subscribing.

ricpic said...

Now Keith Olbermann! He's so dreamy and always tells the truth.

ribbet...ribbet...ribbet ribbet....ribbet...

ricpic said...

Hey Chip, Beck's on the radio all over the country. Turn your radio back on and take the trouble to dial a little. You'll find him.

michaele said...

I listen to and watch a fair amount of Beck.He often makes me think a little harder about US history and the importance of the constitution...not bad for what some regard as a clown. I think he might be prone to some romanticizing of personal life facts but I don't feel manipulated. It's part of his entertainment shtick.

The Crack Emcee said...

I was introduced to Beck on TV by a friend, right before he blew up, and didn't think much. But now I hear him almost every day on the radio (he precedes Rush in my area) and, except for his religious bent, find him to be one of the most honest and informed citizens in this country. Unpretentious and funny as hell.

Ann's disapproval is like her contempt for Norman Rockwell, an elitist pose. Sure, Beck is the kind of guy who would dramatize meeting his wife because - ding! ding! ding! - Beck is that kind of guy. He's a romantic.

Many people have asked me when I'll start dating again, and I've settled on this (true) answer: when I fall in love. Some seem confused, not understanding the difference between love and sex, or thinking you can't find one without getting the other first.

But I'll know. And when I do, you can bet it'll be a pretty big deal, unfolding in some way that makes the casual hook-ups others are engaging in appear as what it is: fucking for validation. Will it be love at first sight? I don't know. But it won't be casual, that's for sure.

Some of us live life with a passion.

Crunchy Frog said...

You don't mix bourbon w/ anything except maybe water

Jack is not bourbon. Bourbon is only made in Kentucky. Jack Daniel's is made in Lynchburg, TN.

/pedantry

wv: cocta - Beck didn't finish his, either

Darleen said...

Have we really grown so cynical that romantic meets that turn out well in the long run are now dismissed out-of-hand?

I only listen to Beck occassionally on my ride into work (the humor part of the show is excellent). Why I should sneer at his recollection of the moment he met his wife is puzzling.

My mom was a senior in high school, sitting in a coffee shop with her best friend who wanted her to meet this guy. That guy walked into the shop, my mom taken with him before he even approached the table.

That guy was my dad, they married within a year and have been married 60 years now.

It happens.

madAsHell said...

Whiskey sold as Tennessee whiskey is also defined as Bourbon under NAFTA

NAFTA fixes everything!!

glenn said...

I guess I missed this the first time around. Glenn Beck adulterates Jack Daniels with Coca-Cola?

Git a rope.

J said...

Dr Cracki on fatboy Beck! Wow. You don't care for eastern religions--but mormon-Randians -glibertarians are alright eh. Maybe Beck''s LDS church will let you join them to pray for the dead, Cracki

Freeman Hunt said...

My husband and I knew we were going to marry the moment we met each other. It happens.

Freeman Hunt said...

NO! Judging from the pictures, he is yet another man succumbing to that metro-ish middle age hipster look.

Shave, Glenn, shave! And quit putting product in your hair!

Rob said...

The Daily Mail says Beck "discussed his mother's apparent suicide with fellow newswoman Kathie Lee Gifford." I suppose double suicides are not a laughing matter, but can I be forgiven for thinking, if only?

J said...

Beck's a fat, mumbling, semi-educated dolt, Miss Hunt. No wonder Amerika likes him . O'Reilly nearly seems intelligent compared to the pedazo.

Elle said...

I've been listening to Beck off and on for years.

I guess I love the Kool Aid, because I'm totally behind taking care of myself, my family, my neighbors and the ones in our society who truly need help.

If that's how Beck remembers meeting his wife, who am I to say "no way" you had those emotions. Twenty-one years ago I saw my future husband across the quad at college and knew he was mine.

Cynicers gotta cynic.

Ann Althouse said...

I didn't say whether I believed the story or not. I put up the story because it was an interesting story, told in one long sentence, which I thought was cool, but sure to inspire skepticism in anyone who doesn't like Beck.

I'm an outsider to the love-him-or-hate-him thing.

Methadras said...

Beck is an overblown opportunistic over-produced blowhard, but seeing grown men cry about their 'inner' pain is absurd. Get a fucking grip on yourself man. You can talk about serious, emotional topics of personal pain and abuse without looking like a blubbering fool. As to his story of how he met his wife, I believe it. The way my wife and I met wasn't to dissimilar.

Methadras said...

Mitochondri-Allie said...

If Tania would have been smart she would have turned around and ran like hell.


Why are leftards like you so characteristically simplistic and stupid?

Chip S. said...

Why are leftards like you so characteristically simplistic and stupid?

Necessary conditions, according to all available evidence.

glenn said...

When I met my wife almost 50 years ago I knew as soon as I saw her. She had those dancing, mischevious eyes. Still does. They saw "you're gonna have to work for this, but it'll be worth it"

Audie Murphys Mom said...

When I met Audies Dad I knew he was the one.

Nobody could plant a seed like him.

Thats why we had so many children.

E.M. Davis said...

"a rarely-seen side of himself"


Really? The guy is John Boehner with a microphone. He probably can cry on cue.

The author of the article hasn't listened nor watched Beck enough.

J said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Salamandyr said...

My wife really likes Glenn Beck. I don't think he's really my cup of tea. His delivery reminds me of those soft-spoken evangelical preachers of my youth, for whom everything was a witnessing opportunity. That and since he reads his ad copy, the advertisements bleed into the show and I can't tell one from the other. Paul Harvey could get away with that but no one else.

J said...

Beck has routinely spouted anti-semitic messages and American jews don't seem to mind. Were a Hannity to have said half the shit Beck has said about Israel--people would be marching in the street. Moreover, many 'Mericans don't know the real story of the LDS and jews (or their views on catholics ,protestants, blacks etc). Brigham Young's comments on jews, for example, would fit well in Mein Kampf--actually King Brigham often outdoes Der Fuhrer in terms of pure racial hatred.

Audie Murphys Mom said...

You are so right J.

I love how you stand up to the evil neocon crowd here at this facist website.

Thank you for your work.

You are a hero.

Just like my son and all the other very liberal vets who love America just like you.

Bless you son.

Aye Chihuahua said...

J said: "Beck has routinely spouted anti-semitic messages and American jews don't seem to mind."

Really J? Really?

How about some links to those statements.

Methinks you're fulla crap.

gadfly said...

Beck is a kook. Tune in next week and he will show you how his mother's "maybe" suicide proves that the devil is driving all of our misfortune ...

Wait -- that cannot be because Mormons do not believe in hellfire and damnation.

ndspinelli said...

Crunchy Frog, I won a $100 bet from a loudmouth in a tavern proving your assertion that bourbon is only brewed in Kentucky is false. That is a myth/lie that the Kentucky distillers have fostered.

Firstly, I don't particularly like Jack Daniels..so that's not what this is about. In order to be classified as bourbon, the product must be made primarily derived from corn. While the vast majority of bourbon[and indeed the best bourbon] is distilled in Kentucky, bourbon has been and is distilled in other states, including, but not limited to, Tn, Mo. and Ks.

Michael Haz said...

I believe Beck's story because a very similar thing happened to me.

Four hours into our first date Mrs. Haz and I were both shocked and joyful to find that we had fallen rapidly and deeply in love.

We decided on a Thanksgiving afternoon that we'd be married before Christmas. And we were. Our twenty-fifth anniversary will be this December 13.

We've spent very, very few nights apart, because we simply don't want to be apart.

gutless said...

Poo.

Mitochondri-Allie said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mitochondri-Allie said...

Chip S, go pluperfect yourself.

Audie Murphys Mom said...

You tell him sister!

Moneyrunner said...

Perhaps we can get a heartwarming story about the first time we saw our second husband. Just for Ann.

MathMom said...

I believe Beck's account of locking eyes with Tania. It happened 28 years ago to a guy who walked into my office, though it happened to him when he heard me speak. I know how long it's been because I know when our wedding anniversary is.

It surprised him, because he is a scientist and not prone to such folderol. He told his friend later that day, and his friend said, "No! It doesn't happen that way!" A few months later when he told me, his friend backed up his story.

Love at first sound. It happens. I'm damned glad it does.

traditionalguy said...

Splendor in the Grass redux.

The love at first sight works, but how do you handle it if one does not join in but goes and marries another, or stays married to another.

Also see, Dr Zhivago.

SwiftFallHunter said...

I fell in love with my wife within seconds of meeting her. With a Texas drawl she said, "Hi!" and my heart just went belly up. We've been together in heart and soul for over 15 years. Despite the nay-sayers, love at first sight happens.

E.M. Davis said...

The mere existence of Jameson makes all this bourbon/JD talk irrelevant.

Kirk Parker said...

"I think Glenn Beck is just terrible. How can you silly people stand to listen to his lies.

Now Keith Olberman! Hes so dreamy and always tells the truth."

See, Althouse: you should have killed off America's Politico before it metastasized. :-(

Methadras said...

J said...

Beck has routinely spouted anti-semitic messages and American jews don't seem to mind. Were a Hannity to have said half the shit Beck has said about Israel--people would be marching in the street. Moreover, many 'Mericans don't know the real story of the LDS and jews (or their views on catholics ,protestants, blacks etc). Brigham Young's comments on jews, for example, would fit well in Mein Kampf--actually King Brigham often outdoes Der Fuhrer in terms of pure racial hatred.


This is why no one takes you seriously you little trog. Come on essay, tell me how tough you are again? Orilay!!!