October 6, 2011

Enough talk of women and their slutty-one-thing-or-another Halloween costumes.

Let's look a the man problem for once. Here'sthe Amazon list of bestselling men's costumes —via Instapundit — and the #1 costume is some stretchy fabric that covers your entire body and makes you all one color. What is the attraction here?

Why are men choosing these costumes?
They want to be somehow invisible, yet brightly colored.
It's very much like being naked, but with no face and no genitalia.
There's some movie/video game character this represents.
The onesie suit is just the beginning. It's what you put on next that counts.
It's not a Halloween costume. Wear your team's color to a sporting event.
It's not a Halloween costume. It's for committing crimes.
The onesie suit is just the beginning. Use scissors for individual, customized partial nakedness.


  
pollcode.com free polls 

IN THE COMMENTS: I'm schooled by DannyNoonan, who seems to think I'm a bit of an idiot not to know about the "green man," and KLDavis, who points me to a video clip that makes me laugh a lot.

37 comments:

jacksonjay said...

Why not give Halloween back to the children?

Kirk Parker said...

Where's the option "In most of the US, late October is too cold for shorts"???

DADvocate said...

I prefer blue jean, loafers with white socks, white t-shirt with a cigarette pack rolled up in the sleeve, and my hair slicked back. Trouble is, some people don't realize it's a costume.

Coketown said...

More frightening is that it's #16 in clothing. All clothing!

But I don't think this is a costume per se. I think it's the foundation of a costume. If you want to be Gumby or an Avatar creature, instead of painting your extremities you can just slip into a spandex coverall.

Anne B. said...

My daughter had a bodysuit like that (same color, even, but without the face cover) a few years ago, and wore it to a anime convention(?) weekend. She went as a character called Jenova, so it was basically blue bodysuit and headgear made to look like an exposed brain. I thought it was hideous, but apparently it was a real hit at the convention - lots of people asked to take her picture.

Maybe the gents want to take a turn at being Jenova. Or even Superman.

Kit said...

How do any of these look under a winter coat?

Firehand said...

"I'm a body double in a CGI company!"

I once went to a party in a suit, tie and all; I told them I was a responsible adult.

Patrick said...

to be honest, I'd rather talk about slutty women's costumes.

libinius said...

It's Green Man! From It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

Irene said...

Blue Man Group.

EDH said...

I'm wearing the But Mommy I Dont Want To Grow Up Costume to the OWS protest.

DannyNoonan said...

It started as Green Man on Always Sunny: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Charlie_Kelly_(It%27s_Always_Sunny_in_Philadelphia)#Green_Man

People now imitate it at sporting events, which is why it's in any color now. Why have a poll when there's a correct answer that's so widely known?

EDH said...

It's very much like being naked, but with no face and no genitalia.

If that doesn't do it, you can wear the squirrel nut suit.

edutcher said...

If you're wearing a get-up like that, you better hope your wife's in a good mood (though, perhaps, not too horny) when she picks up the scissors.

What Patrick said.

Ann Althouse said...

"Blue Man Group."

I thought of that but they just use blue greasepaint. They have faces!

Irene said...

"I thought of that but they just use blue greasepaint. They have faces!"

Oh, that's right! I forgot.

This is a very odd choice.

Ann Althouse said...

"Why have a poll when there's a correct answer that's so widely known?"

Because I didn't know it and didn't really care what the "correct answer" is. My polls are more about me taking on alternative mindsets believably (and making jokes).

At least your "correct answer" is there.

traditionalguy said...

We may have gone too far in dis-respecting human men in all their natural authority.

But then Halloween is a day dedicated to the hater of men and women. It is going to be hard to please him without dissing men.

traditionalguy said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Ralph L said...

No genitalia? That costume is ALL about the Unit.

Seven Machos stuffs.

Curious George said...

"and the #1 costume is some stretchy fabric that covers your entire body and makes you all one color. What is the attraction here?"

Well if it's brown it gets you admission to UW-Law.

Titus said...

Halloween is a holiday for women to dress like sluts.

You bunch of fucking sluts you women!

themightypuck said...

I once dressed up for a work halloween party by covering myself with tanning cream, going shirtless, putting on a rasta hat, having a talented coworker draw some tats on my back and stomach, cargo shorts with a belt full of weed paraphenialia and called myself a rasta rapper. I had no idea how racist my outfit might have seemed given my lily white northern european descent. I also had no idea how risky bringing a gang of rolling papers into the office was. Luckily no one said a thing.

KLDAVIS said...

It started with "It's Always Sunny..." but it really picked up steam with Vancouver's Green Men in the NHL playoffs.

themightypuck said...

Charlie Day is hilarious. You used to be able to watch the whole series on hulu but those days are gone.

Jason (the commenter) said...

The onesie suit is just the beginning. Use scissors for individual, customized partial nakedness.

Kind of. You cut holes around the orifice(s) of your choosing.

dbp said...

They offer white, yellow and red, but no black.

Amazon is marginalizing the black man!

Fred4Pres said...

jacksonjay, well said.

Ann Althouse said...

The NHL clip made me laugh a lot. I get it now.

Chris said...

Althouse--

Why even bother with a stupid poll? This is popular because of It's Always Sunny in Phildelphia, a fairly entertaining comedy on FX. This wasn't popular until the famous "Green Man" episode aired.

Anyone who says otherwise is simply wrong. People in my age group (18-27 or so) love the show and think the costume is hilarious. Personally, I prefer more creative costumes, but this one is really easy to pull off and it's cheap, which is no doubt why so many people are buying it.

Chris said...

Also, the correct answer isn't there. It's based off of a TV show, not a movie or videogame.

Ann Althouse said...

Ii'd never even head the name of that TV show. The assumption that TV shows are well-known....

Chip S. said...

I agree with Patrick @4:03.

My rank ordering of women's Halloween costumes:

1. nurse (starched white w/ zipper-front, of course)
2. Elvira (if the cleavage supports it)
3. Catwoman
4. biergarten waitress
5. harem girl

Honorable mention: Bo Peep. 'Cause I'm sentimental.

Skyler said...

Real men don't wear halloween costumes.

Jason (the commenter) said...

Skyler: Real men don't wear halloween costumes.

Yes, they hide in their house with the lights out.

MadisonMan said...

There are people at high school games (kids) who wear the one color suit that is their school color. That is, for example, all blue at West High games.

Peter Hoh said...

On "Community," the school mascot wears a gray body suit like this. My kid tells me that the story behind this choice has something to do with the fictional school's diversity policy.