October 26, 2011

The dog poop trial.

The jury says: not guilty.
“This case wasn’t about whether I picked up after Baxter. It was about two women who wanted to harass me,” a teary [Kimberly] Zakrzewski...

The enmity between Zakrzewski and the Cornell sisters was palpable. All three testified that they had feuded for years and felt unsafe in one another’s presence. Police were regularly called to their building over accusations of slashed tires, damaged doormats and more.
Cat fight about dog poop.
“Is that consistent with the stool Baxter creates?” Zakrzewski’s attorney, Kosa So, asked [Michelle Berman, Baxter’s owner], presenting a photograph that the defense had submitted as evidence.
Creates. I love that.
Berman glanced over and answered definitively: “I’ve never seen something that big come out of my little dog.”
The defense was lucky the photo was a closeup. Shit looks huge in a closeup.

18 comments:

AllenS said...

Shit looks huge in a closeup.

I'll have to take your word for it. LOL

gerry said...

Shit looks huge in a closeup

Doesn't everything look huge in a closeup?

edutcher said...

I can tell when Sherlock's been bad and when it's one of the other two.

exhelodrvr1 said...

If the shit can't fit you must acquit.

Ann Althouse said...

"Doesn't everything look huge in a closeup?"

So, Gerry, when you see the phrase "shit happens," you take that to refer to... actual shit?

SBVOR said...

OMG! Are you telling me that a charges were filed based upon SPECULATION that one could examine a pile of poop and know which dog it came from?

CRAZY!

Come on! Buy a video camera!

alan markus said...

What, Titus wasn't called upon as an expert witness?

FedkaTheConvict said...

HAHAHA...if they really wanted to know the source they could run a DNA test.

http://articles.cnn.com/2011-06-27/us/new.hampshire.dog.dna_1_biopet-vet-lab-pooprints-dna-analysis?_s=PM:US

Chip S. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
edwardroyce said...

The phrase Suburban Crazy comes to mind.

Job said...

If the stool doesn't fit, you must acquit.

gerry said...

So, Gerry, when you see the phrase "shit happens," you take that to refer to... actual shit?

Actually, I was thinking of the Anthony Weiner scandal...

Richard Dolan said...

The first case I was ever asked to read (in a seminar during undergrad days, taught by a Yale LS prof) had to do with a pile of horseshit, left lying in the street in Connecticut. The horse's owner claimed the pile, which another passerby had scooped up. When the prize wasn't willingly released, the horse's owner sued in trover. The weighty controversy made its way to the Conn Sup Ct.

Such are the wonders of the law that nothing escapes its majestic reach.

Carol_Herman said...

Where was the judge's head?

Don't judges have the ability to toss CRAP like this out of their courtrooms?

Maybe, instead of black robes, we should pass a law the puts judges in big black garbage bags?

Oh. Now that the jury said "not guilty." NOT Baxter's poop. Will the losing side have to cough up the costs of this trial?

How about the cops time?

Taxpayers fund that, too.

JackOfClubs said...

I see a new Althouse theme forming: Apple vs I-BM.

VanderDouchen said...

In on another Thouse poop thread!

WV: weesseye:

So sayeth Frankenfurter.

Don't Tread 2012 said...

Proof that attorneys will resort to defending shit to make a buck.

Sorry, that was just too easy. And maybe wrong.

I find this kind of trial bullshit (not dogshit) and should have been thrown out.

Make the twins leave for saying the lone woman was a threat - what a crock.

Akai_Tsuki said...

If the stool doesn't fit, you must acquit.how to overcome depressionsolar light