June 11, 2011

Things on the Walkerville Medics Supply Wish List.

homeopathic arnica
arnica salve
yarrow tincture
comfry leaf salve
collengia salve
men’s socks

64 comments:

The Drill SGT said...

Looks like they no longer have the entire UW Medical School in direct support.

Fred4Pres said...

Can I take this to mean they are fully stocked up on Indica medical weed and patchouli?

Pogo said...

Why don't they have homeopathic comfy folding lounge chairs on which the leg-rest portion can be elevated?

You make one by spraying an actual lounge chair with water and then using the water's memory of the chair to make the homeopathic version.

I happen to have several for sale, now just $17.99, two for $30.

Tyrone Slothrop said...

From Wikipedia..

Homoeopathic preparations of Arnica 24X or more are not toxic as no or negligible amount of Arnica is left after dilution

and,

A systematic review of clinical trials showed that arnica was no more effective than a placebo

Moose said...

*sigh*
These twits just continue to boggle the imagination...

Paddy O said...

They also need:

crushed leaves of sedra

oil of the kernel of the apricot

infusion of the bitter orange blossom

oil of almonds

sage and comfrey

Pogo said...

My homeopathic lounge chairs come in an endless array of colors.

MarkG said...

You can tell Jim Shankman is there by the begging for free socks.

windbag said...

I like men's socks. If I were Bill-Gates-rich, I'd never wear a pair of socks twice.

windbag said...

Are they going to scarborough fair?

galdosiana said...

I can second their need for socks. I walked around the square yesterday to see for myself what was going on, and--as someone who is disgusted by feet--it was, well, disgusting. Dirty socks, dirty feet, everyone lounging around on sleeping bags on the sidewalk looking like they haven't bathed since last week. Maybe they should add "soap" to that list, too. Blech!!

Pogo said...

The Wankerville Medic supply list really needs only two things: hope and change.

These utopian promises are as real as the rest of their list, save the chairs.

Tyrone Slothrop said...

Men's socks are extremely hard to swallow, believe me.

rhhardin said...

Mercurochrome, Where Is Thy Sting?

Oligonicella said...

Ipecac should be on everyone else's.

Carol_Herman said...

Well, according to a telephone ad, phones are used like old-fashioned mirrors ... so that doctors at the other end can see the face of the victim being transported.

Maybe, there's a lot of stupidity involved in applying technology to medics now-a-days. Maybe, they need this to avoid lawsuits?

Wish lists usually don't get fulfilled. It's like writing to Santa. But it's being written by adults.

Ann Althouse said...

If they believe in homeopathy, they'd better never give anybody a hard time for not believing in evolution or global warming. They don't do science. They're in the world of feelings.

If they want the placebo effect, just use water and *tell* the patient it's homeopathic arnica.

Carol_Herman said...

If Kloppenhoppen managed to shove Prosser off the State supreme Court, then, maybe, this list would see the light of day.

It's not even good for a fundraiser, though.

But to embarrass Walker? Why am I not more surprised? It looks like the unions have unbounded energy is supplying shit lists.

Ricardo said...

All you homeopathic non-believers are probably just upset that Xanax, Prozac, Lipitor, and other pharmaceuticals didn't make the list. :)

Phil 3:14 said...

this post is Crack-bait.

Phil 3:14 said...

Hah!

We know their devious intentions with THE COMFY CHAIR


CONFESS, CONFESS!

madAsHell said...

They've overlooked the Fair Trade Certified coffee beans for enemas. You just can't use Folgers!

Teri said...

I know this is a supremely stupid question, but can't these adults supply these things for themselves?

Michael K said...

All you homeopathic non-believers are probably just upset that Xanax, Prozac, Lipitor, and other pharmaceuticals didn't make the list. :)

I suspect they are getting adequate pharmaceuticals for sedation. Some by smoking them.

Quaestor said...

Pogo wrote: Why don't they have homeopathic comfy folding lounge chairs on which the leg-rest portion can be elevated?

Since they evidently have no comfy folding lounge chairs on which the leg-rest portion can be elevated, then by definition they have homeopathic comfy folding lounge chairs on which the leg-rest portion can be elevated. See?

Homeopathy is the art of making nothing out of something.

wv: anness -- Making sport of the delusional inmates of Walkerville is the essence of anness.

edutcher said...

The Blonde makes a nice, affordable first aid kit. They ought to talk to her.

More to the point, these people are too cheap to pass the hat so somebody could go out to CVS or wherever and buy it?

Or maybe these union slugs don't trust each other with the money?

Freeman Hunt said...

Maybe they can get it from the showman in the wagon when he passes through town.

Quaestor said...

Teri wrote: I know this is a supremely stupid question, but can't these adults supply these things for themselves?

Yep. That's classed as astronomical on the stupid question scale. Supplying for their own needs, real or illusory, would cause the Walkervillians to explode; its like garlic and wolfsbane to vampires.

Quaestor said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
LL said...

What no hemlock?

Quaestor said...

Freeman wrote: Maybe they can get it from the showman in the wagon when he passes through town.

Yeah, along with a bottle of Yakov's Golden Elixir.

windbag said...

We laugh now, but if ObamaCare succeeds, we'll be willing to try anything while we wait for our number to come up. Fortunately, I live smack dab in the middle of ginseng country, so the essentials are covered.

JohnJ said...

“food- please, nothing that requires cooking, also note we have several vegetarian members.”

This is too easy.

(I had a “Weiner” joke here, but I just couldn't.)

Fred4Pres said...

Freeman Hunt said...
Maybe they can get it from the showman in the wagon when he passes through town.

6/11/11 1:21 PM



At least you caught a buzz with that stuff (so I've been told). And it came in neat bottles.

Fred4Pres said...

Hey don't laugh, medical care might suck under Obamacare, but I bet they will give us lots of homopaethic care and medical weed. Maybe even a few crystals. So we have that going for us.

ignatzk said...

How 'bout a tincture of common sense. Looks like they're at least a quart low.

John Burgess said...

Hey, wait! If the gov't decides that all medications under Obama Care will be homeopathic, then the cost of producing medicines will plummet and the world will be saved!

But haters gotta hate, I guess....

Lem said...

Defend Wisconsin

I knew it.. We trusted Canada too much.. now they've invaded.

Mr. Forward said...

What no leeches?

Or am I being redundant?

edutcher said...

That's what they said about Mr Humphries on "Are You Being Served" - he's homeopathic.

The Crack Emcee said...

Pogo,

You make one by spraying an actual lounge chair with water and then using the water's memory of the chair to make the homeopathic version.

ROTFLMAO!!!!

A few extra thoughts:

1) That my wife left me for a "homeopathic doctor" is the most embarrassing aspect of my divorce. Not for me, but for my wife. My embarrassment is I married an idiot. But it was for love, you guys, for love! That shit makes you crazy!

2) No, there's no connection between fraud, NewAge, quackery, and the Left. None whatsoever. This is mere coincidence.

3) The next time Ann and Meade make a trip to Whole Foods they can stock up for them.

4) No Reiki?

5) Who's handing out the medical excuses?

Pogo,

My homeopathic lounge chairs come in an endless array of colors.

Can you flatten them out for "acu-point injection therapy"? It was featured on the Dr. Oz Show, people!!!!

Phil 3:14,

this post is Crack-bait.

Don't you know it! But, look, I now prefer you call me by my NewAge name "Dash-Rip-Rock"! Do it, or I'll never speak to you again,...

windbag,

We laugh now, but if ObamaCare succeeds, we'll be willing to try anything while we wait for our number to come up.

You think?

KenK said...

WTF? "Wish list"? Don't these guys understand anything about organization? bottom line: Amateurs discuss strategy; Professionals talk logistics.

Maguro said...

Is there a certified Native American Sweat Lodge on the premises? Because that would probably help a lot.

Palladian said...

If water has a memory, shouldn't we all be dead from all the terrible things that have been put into, or have happened in, water?

And just from a logistical standpoint, doesn't the water you use to make homeopathic "medicine" already have its own memories? How do you give water amnesia, so you can give it new memories?

And did you know that there is something called "nosodes", which are homeopathic dilutions of things like poop and mucus and scabs and pus? Apparently, the idea is that a high dilution of something bad will help "cure" you. Maybe what these protesters need is a 30C dilution of Governor Walker's piss, and then they'll all feel a lot better!

Tyrone Slothrop said...

Dash Riprock, eh? Not Bolt Upright? Fin Dorsal?

Freeman Hunt said...

I hope water can't remember all the toilets it's been in.

Freeman Hunt said...

Think of all the awful memories it's getting at the waste water treatment plant!

It's a wonder we're not all dead.

Pogo said...

My homeopathic comfy folding lounge chairs are made only from water that has been treated with the latest techniques for healing post-traumatic stress disorder that water develops from all its painful memories.

Multicultural newborns are then dipped into the water to make it innocent once more.

Get out your credit cards, folks. The comfiest homeopathic lounge chairs can be yours for just $17.99, while supplies last.

Penny said...

Instead of making fun, we really should be applauding their "less is better" approach to absolutely ANYTHING.

Penny said...

Eventually, they just might find that fewer laws are better too.

Browndog said...

I have no idea what any of that crap is--

except for the men's socks.

The dropped the ball there.

They could have ran the table on me by asking for organic gender neutral hemp socks.

Penny said...

Needless to say, the Walkerville Medics have a ways to go before they are "wish list ready" for the Arab Spring.

John Lynch said...

Hah. I've got the solution.

Send Crack to Madison.

The end, we win, GG, go home, bada-bing, allah akbar.

Leftish politics IS A RELIGION. How much more obvious can it be at this point?

Right wing people can be religious, but they can admit it.

Religion is a lot harder to debate when people won't admit even having one.

J Allen said...

Hopefully the state dept of health (or what ever the correct department is called) will send an inspector to make sure those food distribution points are compliant with state law. I'm sure if someone gets sick they'll blame Walker or maybe even Bush.

JAL said...

These are the same people who want us to love Obamacare.

Hahahahahahahahaha

Treating with homeopathics is bound to lower the costs in more ways than one.

JAL said...

I just finished reading all the comments.

I just love you guys. And gals.

Do you know how hard it is to find people who understand how homeopathy doesn't work!?!?

Absoulutely refreshing.

I know of a couple guys who manufacture the stuff they sell by putting the "mother" solution on a device, connecting it by a wire to another device with a little bottle of distilled water sitting on it.

They turn the thing on -- and, as they say, voila! They have transferred the memory.

Or if you are running out, and can't get to the clinic, you take a little of the homeopathic medicine and put it in a little bottle of distilled water or "spirits." And then you whaap!! it on the arm of your uphosltered chair 100 times to "potentize" and voila! {Again}you have a new batch.

Truly bizarre.

The Crack Emcee said...

Palladian,

Just from a logistical standpoint, doesn't the water you use to make homeopathic "medicine" already have its own memories? How do you give water amnesia, so you can give it new memories?

And you people claim to understand science. Homeopathic "preparations" (we dumbshits, outside the fold, shouldn't dignify it as medicine) are created in four steps:

1) Find the correct ingredient. This is done through a lengthy interview, discussing every aspect of your life, before the "doctor" understands what your REAL problem is. As you said, a high dilution of something bad will help "cure" you, so if you can't sleep, he will prescribe caffeine.

2) The dilution process. Basically, mix a single drop of Yuban with a swimming pool (or more) of water. To get a "high" dilution, the process may be repeated until it equals more water than is on the planet, and, no, I'm not making this up.

3) Next the preparation is "succussed" (shaken) which, as far as I can tell, is how it forgets whatever was in it.

4) The vial of elixir must be "vitalized" (given "spiritual" healing properties) which can only be accomplished by repeatedly striking it against something, preferably a leather-bound Bible.

This, my friends, is the "healing modality" that's been sweeping the world for over 200 years. 40% of the French use it exclusively (they are the biggest providers in the world) while our own government provides a special sanction for it, in it's collection of acceptable remedies. It can be purchased at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's (as well as other fine "health conscious" establishments) and those who use it don't just swear by it, but turn into crazed wolverines if you dare to suggest it is anything less than a miracle cure for everything from the common cold to AIDS and cancer.

Most of the movers and shakers in the world of Homeopathy are currently working in Africa to cure malaria and the AIDS epidemic. Think about it.

The Crack Emcee said...

Oh, two more things:

1) JAL's friends are taking short cuts, but the basics (he said "potentize") are still there. I'm not sure if an uphosltered chair can realistically replace the power of the King James Bible, but, heck, I'm an atheist so what do I know?

2) I'll tell you what I know: I know some of the readers of this blog are *kinda bright* so they're probably thinking, "Wait a minute, Crack, these people are in Africa giving water to the sick as a cure for malaria and AIDS - isn't that a death sentence?

To which I would reply, "Why yes, yes it is."

And then you would say, "But that's horrible - that's mass murder - who in their right mind would ever be so cruel to provide for such a thing to happen?

To which I would say, "You'd never believe it."

Penny said...

*gives Crack a homeopathological kinda hug*

And I got bigger words than that, Mister.

Do NOT make me use them on YOU!

Penny said...

"Religion is a lot harder to debate when people won't admit even having one."

John Lynch?

I doubt your God wants you to debate those math guys, or science guys or physics guys or philosophy guys... so long as you ALL find that "special place" where HEAD and HEART intersect.

CenterPeace?

Hell, I don't know? It sounds good, but rather "soft"?

Any of you wish to describe exactly how it was when the lights went on...and you didn't flick the switch?

AprilApple said...

Marijuana and crack pipes.

gerry said...

Keynesian economics is woo economics.

It is all clear now.

Chas S. Clifton said...

Can none of those people spell "Calendula," which have medical uses?

AST said...

What is collengia?