February 5, 2011

"AT AMAZON, a Valentine’s Day sale on cookware," says Instapundit... but wait!

Cookware as a Valentine's Day gift? Isn't cookware a famously bad Valentine's Day gift? I say that out loud. And Meade says: "Don't you know? Everything has flipped. It's for women to give to their men — the proud men who do all the cooking now — the proud men of true Mandom, like me and Glenn. Men, who see cookware as their tools."

***

Whatever you buy, if you don't buy it through Instapundit, please start here:

46 comments:

John Burgess said...

I (a male) learned to cook in self-defense. For all my mother's sterling qualities, cooking was not among them. I was probably 15 before I realized the 'green bean' was not a euphemism for those gray strings that appeared on the plate.

Of course, she came by her lack of skills honestly. Her mother had one cooking technique: boil it until it gives up the ghost. It didn't matter what, steak, liver, oatmeal... they were all suitable for immersion in gallons of water.

Firehand said...

Besides, a good pan really helps in making smoke bombs!

k*thy said...

I love husband's who cook - especially mine!

ironrailsironweights said...

What's the most horrible thing a man can give a woman for Valentine's Day?

A Lady Gillette razor.

Peter

virgil xenophon said...

So now Meade is a "Kitchen-Bitch?" :)

OTOH, most of the great chefs in the world are men--so mebee "kitchen-bitchin'" be a manly thang..

traditionalguy said...

The men's role as provider can include cooking dinner. Our big problem is reducing the Inn Cookbook recipes that feed 50. Who knew that cooking required math. Seriously, I now understand why cooks get angry at a family member who won't stop what they are doing and come while the food is still hot.

Cecil Isbell Meade said...

Must be a slow morning in the blogoshere when my idle vocalized mutterings while flipping pancakes become grist for new posts.

wv:suspogy - "I suspose I owe you a supology."

Moose said...

Dear Abbie - what am I doing wrong?

I keep buying nice non-stick skillets and my wife keeps using them to sear things. Then she wonders why they're no longer "non-stick". I keep sending her links to articles on how to use non-stick cookware and she gets mad.

Moose said...

...and remember guys. Women are better cooks because they're "sensual" whereas all we're doing is making a production out of it to get attention.

Or some kind of BS like that...

Don said...

I will confess that I want a big, stainless-steel countertop mixer. I like to make bread.

Another thing I've noticed: my wife will put up with crappy pots and pans a lot longer than I will.

Don said...

Wait, you're not supposed to sear things on non-stick? I'm not joking, here, I do that nearly daily. No wonder it doesn't work.

traditionalguy said...

Le Creuset pans really are a big improvement over everything else. But buying a set of them through Amazon would raise Althouse's tax bracket. My wife's only rule is give her No Gifts With Small Gas or Electric Motors.

john said...

Always give something with flowers on it. Never give something that needs to be plugged in. These are just the basic requirements, but it's always good to emphasize this time of year.

john said...

This would make the gift complete.

DaveW said...

I'm giving serious thought to this cool beeswax candle thingy for the wife. She like to have candles in the bath and that's a pretty cool one. You pull the amount you want to burn up through that metal ring and it extinguishes itself when it burns that far down. Cool idea no? Beeswax so it won't sputter or drip. Plus it's very unusual and it will give the impression that I spent a lot of time shopping and thinking when I actually just stumbled across the thing. They have several versions including one that is horizontal, but the vertical one will take up less space.

I ended up getting these oven mitts (through the Althouse portal of course) after a lot of dithering. I'm pretty happy with them, they're not much to look at but they're very big on functionality. Here's a picture of me holding a 400 degree cast iron skillet I had in the oven to season today, long enough to take a picture. They really do allow you to hold a hot object a long time without getting burned. Here's another picture that shows the part that goes up your arm. The green stuff is a rubbery grippy thing and is pretty nice. The articulated fingers are surprisingly helpful, and they're washable in cold water. They seem to be very well made.

wv: nonsti - non-stick seems to be a theme today.

bagoh20 said...

Sounds like Meade should be wearing one of these: Work Clothing

Chip Ahoy said...

↑ Plus the oven mitts have the Green Bay $1,000 logo on them.

bagoh20 said...

"OTOH, most of the great chefs in the world are men..."

But they get paid. Mead's reward is just more work.

"Feminist" is the new slave owner. Good news is that slave owning - for some reason - gives one an excellent grasp of the ideas in the Constitution. It's undeniable, but isn't it weird?

Jeff with one 'f' said...

Guys-

Forget nonstick, stainless steel- they've never yet come up with an improvement on cast iron!

http://blackirondude.blogspot.com/2009/06/beef-fajitas.html

The Crack Emcee said...

Meade says: "Don't you know? Everything has flipped. It's for women to give to their men — the proud men who do all the cooking now — the proud men of true Mandom, like me and Glenn. Men, who see cookware as their tools."

Meade cracks me up. This reminds me of a friend in New York who I'm having an email discussion with. he just compared the world of academia to the military in war. I reminded him I'm a vet but, being a civilian, he didn't get it. All I can do is shake my head.

My foster father was the cook in the house - most of the black men I grew up with were - without any posturing or claims to "Mandom". They served in the military as cooks. I saw one of them die in a hail of bullets defending his home. Meade wouldn't know the definition of a man if his life depended on it.

Seriously, has Meade ever been in a battle - of any kind? Served in the military? Has his life ever been on the line? In any way? Ever? Has he ever been "really tested"? Bullet wounds? Stab wounds? Major scars? Got any war stories?

I'm sorry, but standing over a fucking stove making yam pancakes don't qualify.

And just so you know - I'm writing this from work, pulling a 12-hour day, but I've got a pork shoulder at home, right now, in a slow cooker for when I get home. What a "man", huh?

Anne B. said...

Don said:

``I will confess that I want a big, stainless-steel countertop mixer. I like to make bread.''

I make all my own bread (including heavy ryes and whole wheat) and I recommend the KitchenAid 5-qt tilt-head mixer. The price seems to hang around $250 (which is what I paid for it several years ago) but it is a CHAMP and works beautifully every time.

My husband buys me cookbooks for holidays ;-) Good thing I like to cook.

Roux said...

In Louisiana men have always cooked. We are glad that the rest of the men in the country are finally getting on the right track.

Cecil Isbell Meade said...

Seriously, has Meade ever been in a battle - of any kind? Served in the military? Has his life ever been on the line? In any way? Ever? Has he ever been "really tested"? Bullet wounds? Stab wounds? Major scars? Got any war stories?

Yes.

Cecil Isbell Meade said...

And just so you know - I'm writing this from work, pulling a 12-hour day, but I've got a pork shoulder at home, right now, in a slow cooker for when I get home. What a "man", huh?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Henry said...

A permanent joke in our household is the Lodge cast iron skillet I gave my wife one Valentine's day. It was given with irony and love, knowing as I did that she would love it very much and also that she would love making fun of me for giving it.

peter hoh said...

I;d be happy to get some good cookware for Valentine's Day.

There won't be an evening of wining, dining, and dancing, however, as I need to be at work at 5:45 a.m. on the 15th.

The Crack Emcee said...

"Cecil"? Are you kidding me? Didn't your parents like you? This is as bad as Rush being attacked by a Chinese guy named Leland!

Wait - I get it now - that's why you go by "Meade"! And why you're always accusing me of having a "fake" masculinity! You're the one compensating! (So, of course, everyone is!) Your name is fucking Cecil! Bwaaaa-haa-ha-ha-ha!!! Even the fucking yams make sense now!

In-fucking-credible.

Trooper York said...

bagoh20 said...
"OTOH, most of the great chefs in the world are men..."

But they get paid. Mead's reward is just more work."

That's not entirely true. I am sure he gets other benefits. Just sayn'

Trooper York said...

My wife has only cooked two meals in all the time we have been together. And has never gone shopping for groceries.

I cook all the time for every family gathering that we attend. Even if it is not at our house. All the kids are trained to look to me for the food. Even when we are at someone else's house.

Of course they do that because of my religious beliefs. You see I believe in salt, pepper, wine and buttter when I cook. Just sayn'

Trooper York said...

But just to be clear, I believe in butter just not in a "Last Tango in Paris" sort of way.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

Trooper York said...

If you want some great meals you should consult Dust Bunny Queen's great blog Recipe Junkie! Just sayn'

Trooper York said...

ironrailsironweights said...
What's the most horrible thing a man can give a woman for Valentine's Day?

A Lady Gillette razor"


Really? I thought it was herpes. Well Scott Lemiuex wife will be happy with her gift I suppose.

Glenn said...

Crack, my grandfather was named Cecil. He fought his way from Normandy to Berlin, and as a reward was stuck on a troopship and sent to the Pacific. He could have kicked your new-age-hating comment-trolling sadly-link-whoring ass to Detroit and back. *And* he could cook.

Trooper York said...

Hey Cecil Fielder was pretty tough.

And one of my favorite fat ballplayers. Just Sayn'

BJM said...

@Moose

keep buying nice non-stick skillets and my wife keeps using them to sear things.

I feel your pain Brother. The Spousal Unit fired up a 12" copper omelet pan to red hot and tossed a cold sirloin steak into the middle. SPRONG!!

Once the shrieking died down he forked over $250 for a replacement.

Now cookware I don't want him to use is at the very back of deep drawers as I know he is too impatient to scrounge...an almost indestructible cast iron & heavy gauge stainless assortment hangs above the stove top.

Problem solved.

ken in sc said...

My dad was a cook in the Navy. He later owned a restaurant. He taught me to cook. We rarely cook anymore but what cooking gets done, I do. I made a pizza last night. My wife cooks twice a year, Thanksgiving and Christmas.

BJM said...

Amazon has something for divorced friends as well as your Valentine.

[Crack: Caution...your head may explode.]

DaveW said...

Now cookware I don't want him to use is at the very back of deep drawers...

The daughter and wife are both shorter than me so the at-risk cookware goes on top of the upper cabinets in the kitchen. I put a shelf up there just for this purpose. They could reach it with the step ladder but neither does.

They use the old stuff they gave me for Christmas years ago which they ruined (also years ago).

DaveW said...

Oh MAN! The wife's birthday is March 1st. I have to buy for V-day and B-day as well.

Howard said...

Wow, Crack, you've pretty much redefined douchedom here. Didn't think that was possible.

The Crack Emcee said...

Howard,

Wow, Crack, you've pretty much redefined douchedom here. Didn't think that was possible.

Where the fuck have you been? Dude, it's a contest and I am da vinna!

Glenn,

Crack, my grandfather was named Cecil....He could have kicked your new-age-hating comment-trolling sadly-link-whoring ass to Detroit and back.

This is GOT to be Reynolds. Whatever. Your grandfather sounds like my kind of guy - I betcha he wasn't a feminist either!

Trooper - and anyone else,

It ain't necessarily the name Cecil I'm objecting to - it's the overcompensation for it, by fucking with me for displaying more masculinity than he's got, that galls. This idea that I'm "fake" because I I'm a robust male - from someone obsessed with yam pancakes, marrying feminists, and donating to women's shelters - that's the fucking joke. I didn't start this shit. My maleness grates on him. It doesn't any of the men I respect (and who respect me) here. Or the women. It's just the pussy-whipped marvels who lash out like that, for that reason.

I grew up in the ghetto, served in the military, and now work in a guy's industry - so, in words even Meade can understand, I yam what I yam:

And I am a Man.

Any other real men will understand - especially Glenn's grandfather - even if it may escape Glenn himself.

BTW - I'm honored someone living so large would take the time to try and take down lil ol' me:

You may not link to me, but that only serves as a reminder of how unfair you can be - not what a big man you are.

Real men don't behave that way.

The Crack Emcee said...

Glenn,

That you didn't link to this post is chickenshit.

I'm probably going to end up having to give "male ethics" lessons or something, 'cause y'all don't seem to know any of this shit,...

Glenn said...

Crack, you'd be more impressive if all this macho posturing didn't eventually involve a plaintive "link to me," and a suggestion that if I don't, somehow I'm afraid.

It's just that, most of the time, I don't really "get" your stuff. Maybe other people like it, but to me it seems confused, elliptical, random, and unpersuasive. I don't even really disagree with your dislike of New Age, etc. But I look at your blog, and it just doesn't speak to me. And if I were inclined to change my mind, well, it wouldn't be after receiving one of these rounds of abuse. It's boring and pathetic.

former law student said...

The best Valentine's Day gift is something that your Valentine would really enjoy, whatever it may be -- even a Le Creuset dutch oven. Further, how selfless is the gift, of say, sexy lingerie? Isn't the giver hoping to get as much out of it as the givee?

As far as true Mandom goes, the U.S. Army taught my father how to kill someone with a Garand, then sent him to cooks and bakers school.

Methadras said...

Why? Because you get your wife or girlfriend a nice cookware set says, "Hey bitch, I want you in the kitchen cooking for me because I got you a nice set of pots and pans to cook with." Is that what it says?

Cecil Isbell Meade said...

Alpha male libertarian who knows his way around the kitchen ↑↑↑