November 10, 2010

In case you don't understand what death is.

The government is here to help.

71 comments:

MadisonMan said...

Based on the picture, chest surgery can kill you.

Maguro said...

That first guy looks like AllenS. Is he modelling for the FDA now?

rhhardin said...

I suppose a cremation urn would look like an ash tray.

rastajenk said...

Evidence that the government really does have death panels.

Original Mike said...

The warning labels we saw on cigarettes in Norway this summer made an impression. They were in very large type and said things like "SMOKING CAN CAUSE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH".

Dark Eden said...

I hope they realize this just makes them even more cool to impressionable idiot teenagers. If they really want to get kids to stop smoking just put up a picture of two dorky looking 50s-60s-70s parents smoking it up with the line, "Your Parents Like Smoking Too!"

traditionalguy said...

Coffin nails by the pack. Real dead men are gray and in rigor, but they really want to pull their punch here. Heart failure is the #1 cause of deaths, because it is the heart that keeping the life in the blood continuously pumped through the body that makes a man alive. By age 65 the heart beat that began beating in a new man while he was still in his mother's womb has already pumped 600,000,000 times, and is out of warranty.

kristinintexas said...

Anyone who doesn't know by now that smoking can kill you must live under a rock, and most likely has never actually seen a package of commercially manufactured cigarettes.

This is another example of the thinking that if people still behave in the way you don't want them to, you must not have conveyed your message clearly enough. It couldn't possibly be the case that someone understands the risks, but just doesn't care and chooses to smoke anyway.

The Crack Emcee said...

I quit smoking two weeks ago. Been doing it since I was 13. Ate like a pig for 3 days and then lost my appetite, almost completely.

Now weird shit is starting to happen:

I find myself feeling euphoric in the middle of the day.

My brain whispers "run" to me. (And I'm actually considering doing so.) I'm starting to walk everywhere, just 'cause.

I wake up at odd hours - 3am today - because I can't contain my "normal" energy and have to get up and do something (I've got a metabolism level that's off the freakin' charts).

My living space has stayed clean and orderly.

Needless to say, despite the fact I miss smoking (I enjoyed it) I just might stick with this.

c3 said...

The literature is not very strong as regardless using fear as a motivator for behavioral change.

Ignorance is Bliss said...

Now weird shit is starting to happen...

You should try yoga.

*ducks*

The Crack Emcee said...

kristinintexas,

Anyone who doesn't know by now that smoking can kill you must live under a rock,...

Correct. The most important thing the miserable anti-smoking assholes don't understand is it is they who make life not worth living.

I didn't need an anti-smoking message to quit - I needed the possibility of an election to go my way! I'm no longer an outsider in my own country. I'm actually ahead of the curve:

So, now that the rest of the country is following my lead, I can finally join them again.

Bizarre, ain't it?

Original Mike said...

ADA requires a warning in braille as well, right?

Lem said...

The guy in 1A 1B looks alive.. looks like there is blood flowing under that skin..

Haven't these people heard of photoshopping?

The Crack Emcee said...

Ignorance is Bliss,

You'd better.

LOL

Richard Dolan said...

"The government is here to help."

Ann's sarcasm is certainly warranted. It's hard to see how ever more graphic warning labels will "help" anything. Even the most clueless teenager who starts to smoke will likely have someone hectoring him about smoking's harmful effects. The problem is not just that people (particularly young people) tune out the incessant 'nanny' stuff. At some point it adds to the 'bad boy' allure, which may be what gets kids to start smoking in the first place.

Pogo said...

Given the state of Medicare, I plan on starting to smoke at age 60.

Bill White said...

It's time to start growing your own tobacco, assuming that's still legal.

The Crack Emcee said...

A little kid once told I shouldn't smoke and I almost smacked him. No, really, I was going to seriously light him up before I caught myself.

Our becoming a country where they're teaching kids how to be scolds to adults is one reason any real American might want not want to hang around too long.

ironrailsironweights said...

Smoking is highly cost effective from a taxpayer's standpoint. If no one smoked we wouldn't face the cost of smoking-related diseases, but that would be greatly outweighed by the cost of more and more people rotting away in nursing homes on Medicaid.

Peter

lemondog said...

Why not a woman in the coffin?

2005 smoking stats show men (23.4%) and women (18.5%).

Need equal opportunity pic.

Lem said...

See.. a picture of Murkusky attached to the upper right hand corner of the ballot with a paper clip would have done the trick.

Stapled fotos are automatically rejected.

crickets

(this is a rough crowd)

Class factotum said...

This is what would keep me from smoking (although I intend to start once I am 70 and already wrinkling): http://www.pgbeautygroomingscience.com/smoking-and-your-skin.html

edutcher said...

The Nannies really want us to do what they say.

I'm beginning to understand what one Nazi resister meant when he said getting drafted and being sent to the Russian front was a relief because it got him away from the constant drumbeat of Dr Goebbels' mind control at home.

Dust Bunny Queen said...

Smoking can kill you.

SO can driving in a car, walking down the stairs, eating too many twinkies, drinking too many beers, swinging on a playground, walking across the street, texting while driving...... cheating on your spouse.

I can't wait to see the government graphics on all of those 'hazards'

blake said...

Why did they need to to the autopsy?

Berke Breathed did it first. Bloom County somewhere in the '80s, the warning on the pack read:

"You smoke. You die."

MamaM said...

Each of the warnings comes with a different picture.

Is an audio version in the works for the visually impaired smokers?

What's next, pictures of clogged arteries on the Little Debbie cakes? Like those little moving pearls of plaque in the Plavix commercial. Tip the box right and left and they move to adhere to the walls and create an obstruction.

Doug Wright said...

Heck, they're totally ignoring the real truth: "Birth causes death!

Also, sex causes cancer, which causes death. Eating too much causes obesity, which causes death. Eating too little starves the precious body, which causes death.

Living is but a temporary station between birth and death.

So, what does the gummermint wish for us to do?

Cheers and remember that!

EDH said...

lemondog said...
Why not a woman in the coffin?

It looks like a woman's silhouette in a coffin in the second ad.

I doubt they'd do the nipple shot like in the first ad.

Mom's across the country would find copies of the warning picture under Junior's mattress.

The Crack Emcee said...

"OH MY GOD! Pot Smoking!? You know what that leads to?! MUNCHIES! And you know what THAT means: TRANS-FAT. God knows, you don't want your kids getting into THAT."

I read that last night and it cracked me up.

Herb said...

Bill White,

I believe you'll find that it's not legal to grow your own tobbaco. The growing of tobbaco is heavily regulated and farmers who are allowed to grow it have limited allocations of who much they are allowed to produce.

Herb said...

"how" much, not who much

Big Mike said...

Does the United States government still provide farm subsidies to tobacco growers? That might be a better place to start than adding dorky pictures to the cigarette packs.

Lem said...

This type of ad is meant for people who cant spell Murkoswky.

I'll have the number three please.. no cheese.

Pogo said...

We need similar warning labels on voting ballots.

Big picture of a Soviet 1980s era hovel -er -apartment- and the words:

Taxes and Socialism Will Kill Your Freedom.

Meade said...

If you look closely at image #1b, you can see Joe Camel and Barack Obama both, naked, with erections, smoking cigarettes.

Meade said...

You might have to squint and rotate the image a little.

MadisonMan said...

I believe you'll find that it's not legal to grow your own tobbaco.

It's legal to grow it. Selling it to make tobacco products, however, will be difficult without the proper permits. But if you want to grow some for your own private use? Go for it.

bagoh20 said...

"Incase you don't know what death is"

I know it when I see it.

""SMOKING CAN CAUSE A SLOW AND PAINFUL DEATH"."

Which is usually the same outcome as from healthy living eventually.

The only escapes are extreme sports, drunk driving and pretending your are a grizzly bear's friend.

bagoh20 said...

My liver transplant scar makes that look like a paper cut, and I didn't even cry. In fact, I think I was smiling. Party on Garth.

I wonder if you could survive such a surgery without anesthesia? Would you just pass out from pain, or bitch like hell for five hours?

FormerTucsonan said...

I like the dead guy in 3A/B, he looks like he's going for his lighter!

Hagar said...

That, and they have found another one in the "Health Care Bill," whereby all food products sold in vending machines must have nutritional information legible from outside the machines.
The article did not say legible to what level of vision, so writing regulations for that will presumably be up to the Secretary of Whatever.

FormerTucsonan said...

What's next, pictures of clogged arteries on the Little Debbie cakes? Like those little moving pearls of plaque in the Plavix commercial. Tip the box right and left and they move to adhere to the walls and create an obstruction.

Kirstie Alley's naked ass on all MacDonald's cheeseburger wrappers.

WV:diess - Ah! Yesssss!

Lem said...

sshh

I see dead people.

Lem said...

Its obvious these pictures are meant to contravene the intent of the smoker..

MadisonMan said...

Why not a woman in the coffin?

Womanly cancer is only important if it's the breast.

bagoh20 said...

Here in California for years nearly every building accessible to the public has had to have a sign that says (paraphased): This establishment contains materials determined to be hazardous to your health."

Since they are essentially everywhere, they serve absolutely no purpose. I doubt that anyone living here has even noticed one in years. This type of regulation exists for the benefit of the legislators', and activists' egos and serves no other cause.

This is a small, un-intrusive example, that shows the motivation behind much larger and more damaging regulations that are the main reason we have a jobs problem.

I'd rather live a shorter, productive and free life than a longer, unproductive, protected one. But, that's not really the choice. We would not die any sooner without the majority of health and safety regulations.

Sixty Grit said...

Tobacco allotments have been lifted. Grow your own. Smoke it. Become a lid dotter.

Leland said...

I just found an activity we can cut from the federal budget.

What do I win?

wv: payineg
(like paying taxes to the FDA for negative things like this)

Lem said...

“Where, O death, is your victory?Where, O death, is your sting?”

Salem, Mass.

Lem said...

A dying battery or low bars would do a better job getting across to kids that smoking is not good for the body.

jeannebodine said...

blake said...
Why did they need to to the autopsy?

Good point, blake. Makes you think the guy didn't actually die from smoking. Especially with all the CSI franchises, everybody's an amateur coroner in their spare time. So instead the message ends up a puzzler. What killed this man? It catches on and cigarettes become wildly popular. I like it.

Shanna said...

I hope they realize this just makes them even more cool to impressionable idiot teenagers.

Like garbage pail kids or faces of death. Cooler than Jo Camel for sure.

HDHouse said...

Herb said...
"who are allowed to grow it have limited allocations of who much they are allowed to produce."

hmmmm also they have subsidies to not grow it and to keep the prices for what they grow artificially high...thank you Mitch McConnell and the tobacco institute in kentucky.

Fred4Pres said...

Wasteful spending like this makes me point out this fact: Discretionary Spending by the U.S. Government was 1.8 trillion dollars. A trillion = 1000 billion.

So if we cut discretionary spending 5% we would save $900 billion. Yeah that means cutting defense, but could defense save 5%? Of course it could. Every federal agency could.

Too draconian? If we cut it 2.5% we would save $450 billion.

Penny said...

The only reason I continue to smoke in the face of death is that my cigarette taxes are paying for poor kids' insurance.

It's for the children, dammit!

Now let me puff in peace, please.

Joe Hogan said...

Why not skip all these interim steps of dubious effectiveness and move directly to the final solution.

Any one who seeks to purchase tobacco products should be arrested, accorded due process and held in a medically supervised, high security, tobacco-free facility. While there, they will receive appropriate medical attention and truly effective reeducation using every tool in the scientifically proven behaviorist arsenal. In a short period of time there will be no one foolish enough to buy tobacco and all sources will dry up. (We will deal with the subsequent need to suppress underground sources with another plan. How does "War on tobacco" sound?)

Sure, there will be some reactionaries with "civil liberty" concerns, but, after all, we would only be doing this for their own good, without regard to race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, age , etc. Hell, it's the moral, progressive thing to do.

ironrailsironweights said...

Check out the new e-book that Amazon is selling. I thought it was a hoax, but apparently not.

Peter

Chip Ahoy said...

Inside the package is a mouse trap that snaps on your fingers.

On each cigarette is heat-activated Super Glue that adheres the butt to your lips.

The new cigarettes burn with trick ashes that land on your chest no matter where you flick them.

Alternate cigarettes are rolled with tobacco that doesn't burn. You have to keep lighting them for every single puff.

Alternate cigarettes have filters made of a kind of sandpaper that gets increasingly prickly as the cigarette burns until eventually it's all little pins.

Trick cigarette packs that burn completely in 15 seconds.

Occasional trick cigarettes that instead of lighting a little flag springs out with the word "BANG!"

Cigarette packages that impart a semi-permenant tattoo of the Grim Reaper.

Cigarettes with smoke that smells like intense squishy farts.

Cigarettes that leave an aftertaste of unclean penis.

Cigarettes that reveal lettering along its length as they heat, "I AM A DOUCHEBAG"

Cigarette packages that release pepper spay when they're opened.

Cigarette cartons that contain fleas.

Surprise cigarettes that flare on puff and burn eyebrows.

lemondog said...

A trillion = 1000 billion.

12 zeros.

1,000,000,000,000

I have to count zeros.

wv: narack?

dbp said...

I wanna know what death is
I want FDA to show me
I wanna feel what death is
I know FDA can show me

hawkeyedjb said...

"This type of regulation exists for the benefit of the legislators', and activists' egos and serves no other cause."

Actually, the law exists for the benefit of the lawsuit industry. Lawyers made a good buck trolling for places where the signs weren't visible. The proposition was strongly supported by the lawsuit industry, which made sure that civil suits by private parties would be one of the valid enforcement mechanisms.

-cramph: what happens to your style

dbp said...

Fred4Pres said...
Wasteful spending like this makes me point out this fact: Discretionary Spending by the U.S. Government was 1.8 trillion dollars. A trillion = 1000 billion.

So if we cut discretionary spending 5% we would save $900 billion.


I am for cutting spending too, but your math is off. 900 Billion is 50% of 1.8 Trillion.

Coketown said...

Smoking can also get you laid. Show me two twins, one smoking and one not, and I know whose bones I'm jumping. But they won't put that hypothetical on the label.

Wait a minute! I just found something we can cut to reduce our budget deficit. Fire whatever team of idiots it was at the FDA that dreamt this idea up. Really? Butchered corpses on product labeling is considered a good idea? Someone got paid for this?

Sixty Grit said...

hdhouse - wrong about agriculture, a liar about everything else.

WV: clist - still better than that red headed actress.

WV.2: surloo - where hdh lives.

The Crack Emcee said...

Coketown,

Wait a minute! I just found something we can cut to reduce our budget deficit. Fire whatever team of idiots it was at the FDA that dreamt this idea up. Really? Butchered corpses on product labeling is considered a good idea? Someone got paid for this?

My thoughts exactly. This nation's priorities are so screwed up they don't understand what waste is anymore. Hint: this is waste.

I'm positive this country took a wrong turn in the 70s when people started thinking of doing stupid shit, like calling a "handyman" an "apartment maintenance technician" or something just as stupid.

It has to be stopped. How don't care how - shoot somebody, something. Just make it stop.

JAY said...

Help you can believe in:

“The number of federal workers earning $150,000 or more a year has soared tenfold in the past five years and doubled since President Obama took office, a USA TODAY analysis finds.”

I guess that is just Obama making government more competent.

Or something.

dick said...

Saw this one on Jim Miller on Politics, What is this going to lead to the feds regulating:


The "Twinkie Diet" Reminds Us Why We Do Experiments: Sometimes we get results we didn't expect. Professor Mark Haub got one result he expected:

For 10 weeks, Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University, ate one of these sugary cakelets every three hours, instead of meals. To add variety in his steady stream of Hostess and Little Debbie snacks, Haub munched on Doritos chips, sugary cereals and Oreos, too.

His premise: That in weight loss, pure calorie counting is what matters most -- not the nutritional value of the food.

The premise held up: On his "convenience store diet," he shed 27 pounds in two months.

And one result he didn't expect:

But you might expect other indicators of health would have suffered. Not so.

Haub's "bad" cholesterol, or LDL, dropped 20 percent and his "good" cholesterol, or HDL, increased by 20 percent. He reduced the level of triglycerides, which are a form of fat, by 39 percent.

"That's where the head scratching comes," Haub said. "What does that mean? Does that mean I'm healthier? Or does it mean how we define health from a biology standpoint, that we're missing something?"

Most likely, we are missing something. In fact, I would go a little further and say that, in understanding nutrition, we may be missing a whole lot.


from Jim Miller on Politics

Can we tell Mike Bloomberg to back off now???

William said...

Self destructive people generally have poor aim. They're more inclined to hit the innocent bystander than they are to hit themselves. The good thing about cigarette smokers is that they have a steady aim. No puffer ever missed a mortgage payment or slapped his kid because of his addiction. They get kind of whiney when afflicted with emphysema, but, by and large, they are a model group of addicts....There are many reasons to wish for an early death. I commend the nicotine heads for taking this socially benign path and paying their fair share of the tax burden before they go.

John Lynch said...

It's cashing in on the zombie craze.

Allison said...

All that did is make me want to go buy a pack.