October 13, 2010

"I was in the middle of eating a kosher pastrami sandwich."

"While I was eating it, they come running and they say, 'Paladino became gay!' I said, 'What?' And then they showed me the statement. I almost choked on the kosher salami."

41 comments:

peter hoh said...

Paging Titus.

traditionalguy said...

That must be a New York local issue. Does Paladino keep kosher? Does he have a gay nephew? WTF?

BJM said...

How Not To Run A Campaign 101

Trooper York said...

Well that's why you can't send a salami to your boy in the army.

Don't ask/don't tell.

Not that there is anything wrong with that.

ricpic said...

Will the New York schmucks who pull the lever for Cuomo ever make the connection between still more empty store fronts and having voted for another insatiable statist? No.

NotYourTypicalNewYorker said...

Without reading this article I will tell you that in New York State there is a well oiled Democrat machine and absolutely no opposition at all, from conservatives or anybody else.

Without knowing, I would say that Paladino is on the ballot because he can afford to throw in a large chunk of change for the campaign costs.

Here's what we get...a guy that thinks the right way but is a neophyte and blows up along the way.

With a money engine called Wall Street (the envy of many states) this state of New York is totally decimated fiscally, with taxes that now are above everybodies head and in a death spiral.

Don't worry, Andy Status-Quomo is about to take charge...

And so it goes.

Trooper York said...

This is actually good believe it or not.

The more the mainstream press dumps on Paladino the more the usual suspects will believe they have it in the bag. The only chance for a change is a protest vote in a very low turnout year.

Keep counting your chickens before RH has sex with them. Just sayn'

New "Hussein" Ham said...

I'm with Cuomo: We should be brainwashing kids to think that gay sex is normal. That way, they won't report the priests and teacher union rapists who are molesting them and making Democrats look bad.

We brainwash our kids all the time. May as well get some political benefit out of it.

You can't waste an opportunity ... just ask Rahm. He'll tell 'ya.

Trooper York said...

Don't get me wrong because I don't agree with his stance on gays.

But then I don't agree with Obama either because I think they can get married and be in the Army.

They can smoke a salami with a boy in the Army as long as they do it on their own time. Just sayn'

Trooper York said...

Not that it matters what I think.

Cause I think the New York Giants are gonna win the Super Bowl again this year.

Put that in your salami and smoke it.

roesch-voltaire said...

Those gay family members are such a problem for those family values folks both right and left.

Michael said...

RV: Actually the gay family members are just fine, a bit flamboyant but fine. I could give less of a shit about what they do and I hope to heaven we let them, every one, get married. And I am as right wing as they get and am absolutely in favor of hetero marriage and carrying babies to term. Oh, and I believe fervently in fucking the poor. But the gay people are all cool by me. It isn't particularly uplifting to see everybody spend so fucking much time yapping about them, but I must admit they enjoy the attention.

traditionalguy said...

A gay uncle is no problem and can help out at times of need...after all they have no wife and family demands on their time.

NotYourTypicalNewYorker said...

Trooper, I think I'm the only one here that connects with the Katz's deli phrase " Send a salami to your boy in the Army". (vintage World War II) Heh.

Joe said...

An orthodox rabbi accuses someone of brainwashing their children...

Sounds like the beginning of a joke.

Palladian said...

"Trooper, I think I'm the only one here that connects with the Katz's deli phrase " Send a salami to your boy in the Army". (vintage World War II) Heh."

No, I make the connection too. I love Katz's salami! I also like the hot young chorizos who dish out the salami there these days. Better than the grumpy old Jewish men I remember from when I was a kid.

NotYourTypicalNewYorker said...

Palladian , those old Jewish guys used to act like you were bothering them when you asked for something but that was a city wide persona.

I lived in Flushing when I was just married and the same kind of guys were working the small Jewish Deli-Restaurants locally with the same attitude.

edutcher said...

roesch-voltaire said...

Paladino is going to be one of the casualties of getting back to what the people who built this country wanted government to be - a true participatory republic, not the province of law school grads who go from the classroom to Congress for a life's career.

roesch-voltaire said...

Those gay family members are such a problem for those family values folks both right and left.

Which, of course, has nothing to do with anything. Family values is another of those phrases the Lefties feel obliged to denigrate no matter how stupid it makes them sound in the process.

PS I hope Meade can do Heimlich and artificial respiration.

William said...

Sex is to conservatives as economics is to liberals. They have their high minded ideals, and then there's life. If God had it all to do over, he would probably go with parthenogenesis. Sure, you lose a little genetic diversity, but with the time saved from courtship dances you could build any number of first rate cathedrals.....At any rate, we're all stuck with sex and Paladino. If Paladino's judgement leads him to get all bogged down in a silly argument that even he doesn't want to propound, how good will his judgement be on other matters. After Spitzer and Patterson, someone who can restore a modicum of dignity to the office would be a welcome break. Cuomo: "Vote for me. I have a modicum of dignity and have never been convicted of a felony." Given the pool of talent in NY, this is about the best we can do.

Elliott A said...

The headline says "pastrami" and the body says "salami". which is it? Two totally different experiences. There is a deli here in Virginia Beach which gets its meats fronm Katz's and desserts from Carnegie. Quite exciting out here in the wilderness.

Bob Ellison said...

It all reminds me of a story. Seems a lizard came home from work one day, and the lizard-hole was occupied by a junior roadrunner. And the lizard said, "what the heck?!"

Methadras said...

Mr. Paladino, of course, had not become gay, but had announced that he wanted to clarify that he embraced gay rights and opposed discrimination.

I'm sorry. Someone want to tell me again what is wrong with not embracing the fakery called 'gay rights' and opposing discrimination. There was nothing wrong with discrimination. It has its purposes and values otherwise then we get people like Obama and the gays. Hell, possibly a Gay Obama.

*thud* Fuck, Titus just fainted.

former law student said...

The headline says "pastrami" and the body says "salami". which is it?

The visual of a homophobic orthodox rabbi choking on a salami is too perfect. So it must have been pastrami.

MadisonMan said...

The headline says "pastrami" and the body says "salami". which is it?

Reminds me of the time the Times had a story on bratwurst and the picture was of summer sausage.

Revenant said...

a homophobic orthodox rabbi

How would one go about being Orthodox and NOT "homophobic"?

Mark said...

FWIW, if a "Straight Pride" parade went down Eastern Parkway, and the participants performed with the same degree of debauchery and sheer tastelessness as the "Gay Pride" parade folks, I wouldn't want my kids to see that, either.

No matter what happens in my house after the kids go to bed.

Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly believe Paladino is a central-casting blue-collar homophobe. Doesn't make him wrong in his opinion of the displays of the flamboyant fringe.

YoungHegelian said...

A priest and a rabbi were shipwrecked on a deserted island. After six months, the priest can't take it anymore.

"Goddammit" said the priest, "I wish there were some boys on this island!"

"For what?" says the rabbi.

"So we could fuck 'em."

The rabbi looks at him quizzically and says "Out of what?"

former law student said...

How would one go about being Orthodox and NOT "homophobic"?

Let's see:

Having sex with another man is an abomination.

Eating shrimp is an abomination.

Does the rabbi picket Red Lobster on Sundays? Or does he tolerate the consumption of treyfs, at least by non-Jews?

Palladian said...

" FWIW, if a "Straight Pride" parade went down Eastern Parkway, and the participants performed with the same degree of debauchery and sheer tastelessness as the "Gay Pride" parade folks, I wouldn't want my kids to see that, either."

In my experience, most of life is a "Straight Pride parade".

jr565 said...

Elliott A said...
The headline says "pastrami" and the body says "salami". which is it? Two totally different experiences. There is a deli here in Virginia Beach which gets its meats fronm Katz's and desserts from Carnegie. Quite exciting out here in the wilderness.


I vote Kosher salamis.
First Rule is: The laws of germany
Second rule is: Be nice to mommy
Third rule is: Don't talk to commies
Fourth rule is: Eat kosher salamis

THe commandos are involved again.

Mary Beth said...

The rabbi, Yehuda Levin, who helped write those remarks, said Mr. Paladino “folded like a cheap camera”

Cameras fold?

Beth said...

Panderino.

Beth said...

Ha! Palladian, 10:05, FTW.

former law student said...

Cameras fold?

mb may not be old enough to post here.

See every Polaroid camera up till the Reagan administration.

Don't ask what's a Polaroid camera.

traditionalguy said...

FLS...You are a hoot, a ROFL hoot. Until the 1950s the expensive cameras pulled out like an accordion and folded back when you closed it up, but the Brownies were the fixed focus cheap plastic ones. What hath micro chips and digital programs wrought?

David said...

Sliced salami, for sure. Not the whole damn loaf.

Fred4Pres said...

What the Rabbi did not tell you is that there was melted swiss on the sandwich too.

Blasphemy. Abomination.

Fred4Pres said...

YoungHegelian, that is very funny.

Fred4Pres said...

Carl really needs to just go crazy in this campaign. I mean, what does he has to lose. No mamby pamby stuff, just go nuts.

I am kidding about the swiss cheese on the rabbi's sandwich. But after reading that article I realize it has been a really long time I have been to a decent kosher deli. Too long.

Fred4Pres said...

Trooper York, yes you can!

Mary Beth said...

I think most of the Polaroids had collapsible lenses, the SX-70 is the only one that I can remember that kind of folded.

Anyway, the usual cliche that I've heard is "folded like a cheap suit". Not that this makes that much more sense.

Folded like a bad poker hand. Folded like an origami frog.