May 25, 2010

"Dear Lord: As You probably know, because I guess You sort of know everything, I’m thinking about having a mini brow lift..."

"... lipo on my neck, waist, hips, and thighs; a chin reduction; an ear job; fat injections in my cheeks, nasolabial folds, and lips; a revision of my previous rhinoplasty; a redo of my earlier breast implants; Botox injections in my forehead and frown area; and a buttocks augmentation, if that is Thy will. I won’t go ahead with any of this if You don’t approve, but I keep thinking, Why would God have made my plastic surgeon, Dr. Frank Ryan, so totally cute if He didn’t want me to use him? Although, of course, I also wondered, Why did God make my hips and thighs, both inner and outer, a teeny bit chunky, and why did He dig those grooves around my nose?"

17 comments:

Pastafarian said...

Montag is an awfully easy target, but there's something very sad about this whole episode. She was mocked mercilessly by late-night comics, partly for her appearance, and partly for her stupidity; and she responded by having herself butchered.

The before-and-after shots on this poor deluded woman are truly horrifying. She succeeded in adding 20 years of aging to her face, and blew her boobs up into Jessica Rabbit cartoon hooters.

bagoh20 said...

Compared to most of us, she was already perfect. Consequently, I've gone from envy to pity. That is the result of the enormous expense and pain of the grass-is-greener ailment of humankind. Nothing is sadder than the lack of gratitude. She was beautiful - all she had to do was enjoy it. Her prayers were answered when she was born.

Ann Althouse said...

The sad truth is that she really wasn't pretty enough to make it in the professional milieu she chose. Not that surgery could fix the problem. I think there are a lot of women in Hollywood who would be beautiful anywhere else, but are just not good enough for us to want to gaze at them on the big screen. Surgery makes them even less appropriate for big screen scrutiny.

shoutingthomas said...

The formula for The New Yorker never changes.

I tried to become a sophisticate by reading the rag when I was in college.

Far left political articles surrounded by advertisements for $10,000 watches.

In other words, the profile of the Upper East Side limousine liberal.

Pastafarian said...

Althouse, I thought that she was quite pretty before she had this surgery. Now, she was one of those women who really needed make-up to look good -- sort of the inverse of Evangeline Lily. But she had sort of a poor man's Catherine Deneuve thing going.

ricpic said...

Women love going under the knife.

shirley elizabeth said...

When I looked at the before and after pictures I didn't at first believe they were the same person. Naturally she was absolutely beautiful. Now she, like a former commentor stated, has added twenty years and has that wicked step mother look going on. I guess that's what she wanted, but it makes me feel bad for the lovely, young woman that is no more. At least she doesn't get to write it off on her taxes. Yet.

Andrea said...

"Women love going under the knife."

Wait -- what? What sort of women do you hang around with?

This woman isn't going "under the knife" unless she has to have a bullet removed. You dig?

edutcher said...

You can tell if a woman has "had work done" and it's rarely an improvement.

I can think of one woman I've seen where they did just enough and it did improve her looks.

OTOH, I once saw the wife of a very famous plastic surgeon and, while she didn't have that Pelosi Galore look, you got the feeling that it was a bit much and, from her looks generally, not really necessary (i.e., she was probably attractive enough before all the slice and dice).

In the end, plastic surgery is a blessing for someone who needs its therapeutic value, but a real curse for the vain.

c3 said...

Rick Warren answered her questions in the first page of his best-selling "Purpose Driven Life"

It's not about you

ironrailsironweights said...

"... lipo on my neck, waist, hips, and thighs; a chin reduction; an ear job; fat injections in my cheeks, nasolabial folds, and lips; a revision of my previous rhinoplasty; a redo of my earlier breast implants; Botox injections in my forehead and frown area; and a buttocks augmentation, if that is Thy will.

There is something far, far worse that she didn't mention. Most likely because it's much too common to merit a special mention :(((

Peter

bagoh20 said...

Breast enhancement can be an improvement, but rarely is because it is almost always overdone. I prefer smaller breasts. Anything over a C is just too much, especially if you were not born with it. A-cups and Bs can be very sexy, but you can't convince most women of that.

Bruce Hayden said...

I somewhat agree with bagoh20 about smaller breasts. Much better the A or B size than the watermelons I fond myself in bed with one time, or deflated watermelons later with another woman. So, I end up with a natural DD. Go figure.

I think that you just need to keep things in moderation. My mother had one face lift in her 80 years, in maybe her early 60s, and that was just fine. But the high profile mother of one of my kid's classmates was another subject. It was maybe her fourth, probably before she was 50, and I had heard in the paper how bad it was. Up close, it was worse. And 4 years later, at graduation, her face hadn't notably improved.

I think what is tragic though is that women are willing to go under the knife so often, even today, to maintain their sexual power. I don't think I would have as much problem with my mother's generation, but mine is the generation where women were liberated to be all that they can be, whether that means law professor, politician, etc. And, yet, they believe that so much of their power comes from their looks, and their apparent youth, that they are willing to risk their lives and looks to maintain that power.

Something else that is a bit tragic are the women who work to keep their weight down until they get big breast implants, and then they let themselves go, figuring that big breasts excuse being big everywhere else too. SO's cousin is that way, and has ballooned from maybe a size 6 to a 16 in the last 5 or so years since she had breast augmentation.

holdfast said...

Montag was never quite right - like Tori Spelling, all the parts of her face seemed nice enough in isolation, but the whole was never a great fit - not an ogre or anything, just not Hollywood quality.

Methadras said...

bagoh20 said...

Breast enhancement can be an improvement, but rarely is because it is almost always overdone. I prefer smaller breasts. Anything over a C is just too much, especially if you were not born with it. A-cups and Bs can be very sexy, but you can't convince most women of that.


More than a mouthful is to much. I have a big mouth. :D

Methadras said...

I have to tell you. I've seen the befores and afters and outside of the frankenchin, I think she looks pretty hot. But it's not my eyes that need fixing if you know what I mean.

Methadras said...

Ann Althouse said...

The sad truth is that she really wasn't pretty enough to make it in the professional milieu she chose. Not that surgery could fix the problem. I think there are a lot of women in Hollywood who would be beautiful anywhere else, but are just not good enough for us to want to gaze at them on the big screen. Surgery makes them even less appropriate for big screen scrutiny.


Ann, this child is going to be relegated to the F-list of the celebrity dust bin. She will be nothing more than cameo fodder and barely eye-candy. Between the delusions that she and her idiot husband aspire too, she hasn't a prayer of banking on 'talent' or on her 'assets' at all. At best, she might be a usable body double for a Pam Anderson biography or something.