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A lot of that could be applied to doctors just as well. Doctors throw Latin around as much as lawyers. Instead of notes long and confusing, make them illegible.Instead of nitpicking, don't be surprised if your doctor sweetie continually diagnoses you.Another one of those articles deemed to dumb for People magazine.
HER: Are you a good kisser?ME: Res Ipsa Loquitur. Wanna make out?
I have Vae Victus tattoed on the back of my neck.
HER: Are you a good kisser?ME: Caveat EmptorDisclosure: I'm married to one of those zillion DC lawyers
Cogito ergo sue'm.
I love a good e.g. I hate it when people mistakenly slip in an i.e. in its place.But you've got to italicize to get the full effect.
Asked a girl what she wanted to be She said, "Baby can't you see I wanna be famous, a star of the court Making cash off every loophole and tort.""Baby, I can pass the bar yes, I'm gonna be a star..."
"How to Date a Lawyer in 3 Easy Steps""1) Follow him around with a video camera, posting his behind-the-scenes life on the legal trail. Tell him you feel a connection to him, and that you can tell he is a very old soul, and a brilliant, generous, giving man. Tell him has the power to be a transformational leader on par with Gandhi and MLK, that he has the power to change the world.2) Get pregnant.3) $$$
N.B. "Coitus interruptus" doesn't work nearly as well as you'd expect.
Black's Law Dictionary for Dating
Best tip for dating a lawyer? Become a lawyer. Lawyers mainly date other lawyers.
Qua est ambulance?
Miss Manners had a great answer to the following question: "What words of advice do you have for a couple that wants to break into society?"Her entire answer: "Don't bother".I think this applies to "What words of advice do you have for someone who wants to date a lawyer?"
This raises the question of how many passages of Caesar's Gallic War Meade had to memorize before he dated you, Ann.Alia iacta est!(That's not actually in the Commentaries, that comes after, when Julius decides to go all Medieval on Pompey and the Optimates....)Geez, it's tough being Meade.
"Lawyer cockles"! - Eweuuuu!
You'll find this lawyer at the bar. The kind with drinks.In vino veritas. And that's more or less the extent of the Latin I know and care to know.
I'm not sure why anyone would think that lawyers have a monopoly on desirable qualities.I think it would be a huge turnoff to hear someone say I only date lawyers. What a narrow-minded person!
I write it eg. as better orthographics.The thing is already spoken as letters, and the period serves to mark that it's not a word.
Latin is as Latin does, said the wise Latino. The use of Latin as Legal words of art is to keep the meanings exact thru time. The MDs use Greek words of art for the same reason. Dead languages do not get up and walk around. And it is a form of job security. A Job is another one of those undead words since trade guilds have morphed into professions. Now it's the jobs themselves that are dead.
et tu brute ---- ahh a sure way into a lawyers heart.....or i wonder what the latin is for stabbing in the back or blood sucking leeches?the last lawyer i dated before marriage had a sign over her desk that said "E Pluribus Unum - out of your pocket to mine"
Is this list Meade-certified?
About 13 years ago, when I found out my youngest son was dating a lawyer, I was not too happy. Personally, I would've preferred he date someone with a more respectable profession like bartender, used car saleswoman or prostitute. Happily, she turned out to be a corporate lawyer who hates most other lawyers about as much as I do.They married 10 years ago. Two kids and all this time later, they're doing very well. We get along great and she has been a very good wife for my son.
"Use Latin whenever possible. Lawyers feel warm and fuzzy when they hear Latin."Que?The Macho Response
""Use Latin whenever possible. Lawyers feel warm and fuzzy when they hear Latin."Fellatio is classier than blow job.
The first the a lawyer must do when you bring him your legal problem is look into book...your pocketbook. Sad but true. Justice is not free, and the bad lawyers charge as much as the good lawyers. So get personal recommendations. These days many old clients come in needing lawsuits answered and they also have no money. If you were to take their case unpaid, or half paid, then they will treat you like a family member you help for free treats you. They will always act and talk like they would have done better if they had gotten a real lawyer. The very act of charging a high retainer fee up front gives them confidence and respect for the lawyer. And the human circus goes on.
"How to Date a Lawyer in 3 Easy Steps"1. Go to DC around election time.2. Offer to be his video biographer (expect resistance)3. Have his baby.
The ironic aspect of it all (as a single attorney) is that I probably don't want to date a lady who has made it a life-goal to date an attorney.Why not just introduce simple rules:1) Be cute.2) Be reasonably intelligent. (No Latin; just Laugh'n.)3) Find me....I don't think we need to make things more complex than that.
I love a good e.g. I hate it when people mistakenly slip in an i.e. in its place.Ah yes, but videlicet is just as good, and scilicet separates the master from the journeyman!
Warm cockles might become uncomfortable, lawyer or not.
Is this dating supposed to lead to matrimony and commitment and life together til death do us part?Why would one target a particular profession unless one were a gold digger -- and even then *tho$e* lawyer$ spend an awful lot of time at the office.Oh wait. Maybe shallow women want that?On second thought, did anyone check the old comments to see if Meade was sprinkling Latin around?
The unspoken premise of this article is that you are not a lawyer, you could never be a lawyer, yet you are single-mindedly determined to snag a lawyer as a romantic partner.So unhealthy. Lawyers: caveat emptor!
"...did that "e.g." of mine warm your lawyer cockles?"I dunno - would you say it as "eee-gee" or "exempli gratia"?If the former; nothing.If the latter; goosebumps!
Why do people specifically want to date lawyers? If it's about money, there are plenty of professions and careers that offer income equal to or more than law. If it's not about money, what is it about? The long hours? Keep the other person out of the house?
Dinner conversation from a first date a little over a year ago:She: Well, that was a pretty bad movie. Shall we talk about books? Have you read anything good lately?He: Yeah. I just finished reading "Species Plantarum, exhibentes plantas rite cognitas, ad genera relatas, cum differentiis specificis, nominibus trivialibus, synonymis selectis, locis natalibus, secundum systema sexuale digestas." I couldn't put it down.She: Oh. Mind if we skip coffee and dessert? I really need to get home and walk my blog.
My sister, an attorney, went through 12 years of Catholic school back when the Mass was still said in Latin plus she took 2 years of Latin in high school. When she hears Latin is brings back bad memories.
"Am I the only one who hears the screamsAnd the strangled cries of lawyers in love..."
Latin this way cometh. The old Mass given in Latin still warms the hearts of traditional Catholics. The Elizabethan English gave us Shakespeare and the 1612 King James translation of scripture, and both still warm the hearts that have learned them. In Israel, the Jews speak Hebrew today. Words are powerful codes, as Julius Ray Hoffman's namesake said and gave trial lawyers their motto, "Veni, vidi vici", along with the good lawyer's co-motto to their client's best interest, "Semper Fidelis".
This is easy. Just fly around the desert until you find a putrid corpse. A lawyer will show up soon enough to dine. Just introduce yourself while you both enjoy carrion crawling with maggots. Happy Valentine’s Day.
Warm cockles is a cause of male infertility.
I don't know why the professor came down so hard on the article --I tee-heed.If any young woman wants to hook a lawyer, go to a club where young male lawyers hang out and grind on one. Res ipsa loquetur.
Listen it really easy to meet lawyers. Just hang out by the emergancy room unloading area and when the amublances pull up there will be a bunch of lawyers chasing right behind them. It's easy.
Personally, I would've preferred he date someone with a more respectable profession like bartender, used car saleswoman or prostituteSad but true. There were only two times in my life I found my father crying. And one was over what had become of his profession. This was shortly after they started to allow lawyers to adverstise on tv.
Meade, quod erat demonstrandum.
Hey, Triangle Man, quit trying to steal my lawyer girl!
Reminds me of a young physician I knew some years ago, a tall handsome type who could easily hook up with women.Most of the time he dated female lawyers.His rationale?"It feels so good to screw a lawyer."
Veni, vidi, vici.I'll let Meade figure out when he should drop that line on the Professor :-)
Cockles and muscles, alive, alive-oh!-- the should-be motto of a gay lawyers convention.wv: "quidiest" -- describes an avaridious person: "You're the quidiest ambulance chaser I've ever met; wanna fuck?"
wow...that's kind of an eerie follow up post.
Da mi basia mille, diende centum
mmm, i find it interesting that the unsaid assumption here is that it is only women going in for that kind of gold-digging. the author tries to sound gender neutral, but the author slips and uses a gender-based pronoun at a key moment.Btw, as a lawyer, i am married to a non-lawyer, and i am very happy for it. sometimes you need a break from that mindset. but then again, i am weird.
failed law student. It's res ipsa loquitur, repeat “loquitur”.A tip on those who would use Latin for some snob effect or affect is that they should be able to spell the words correctly.And Jesuits & Latin teachers may feel warm & fuzzy when they hear Latin, but not when they hear what is, derogatorily, referred to as "Law Latin".See, e.g. (that’s real Latin) A DICTIONARY OF MODERN LEGAL USUAGE, under the heading “LAW LATIN”, which says “or dog Latin, a debased Latin formerly used in law and legal documents, from which we have from the most part escaped…See MINGLE MANGLE.” The author, in his entry “LEGAL MAXIMS” also laughs at judges quoting in their opinions such maxims in Latin, noting “Gone are the days when we can assume that lawyers are well versed in Latin” (ALL CAPS IN ORIGINAL).Or at the risk of (a) being called a racist & (b) showing my age, see Amos & Andy’s Calhoun the lawyer, who was chock full of mingle-mangle phrases.
From Inwood: Truly, a little learning is a dangerous thing; drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring. Here, for itself, will speak the thing.
CudgelHow about "deinde centum"?Catullus is rolling in his sepulcrum!"Kiss me once & kiss me twice & kiss me once again" went the WW II tune (not a literal translation of Catullus).
failed law student A little learning is an fls thing"Nothing comes up when I click on your bf "will".BTW, Pope also wrote "Whoe'er it be be That tells my faults, I hate him mortally!”He was thinking of you hating all those on this blog who expose your faults.
Poor From Inwood.All he knows he learned from "teh googel."
Didn't Jamie Foxx once play a lawyer on TV ?-Lyrics to "Gold Digger"[Jamie Foxx]She take my money when I'm in needYeah she's a trifling friend indeedOh she's a gold digger way over townThat dig's on me[Chorus:](She gives me money)Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When I'm in Need)But she ain't messin' with no broke niggas(She gives me money)Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger (When I'm in need)But she ain't messin' with no broke niggasGet down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)Get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)Get down girl go head get down (I gotta leave)Get down girl gone head[Verse 1:]Cutie the bombMet her at a beauty salonWith a baby Louis VuittonUnder her underarmShe said I can tell you ROCI can tell by your charmFar as girls you got a flockI can tell by your charm and your armbut I'm looking for the onehave you seen her?My psychic told me she have an ass like SerenaTrina, Jennifer Lopez, four kidsAn I gotta take all they bad ass to show-bizOK get your kids but then they got their friendsI pulled up in the Benz, they all got up inWe all went to Den and then I had to payIf you fucking with this girl then you better be payedYou know whyIt take too much to touch herFrom what I heard she got a baby by BustaMy best friend say she use to fuck with UsherI don't care what none of you all say I still love her[Chorus][Verse 2:]18 years, 18 yearsShe got one of your kids got you for 18 yearsI know somebody paying child support for one of his kidsHis baby mamma's car and crib is bigger than hisYou will see him on TV any given SundayWin the Superbowl and drive off in a HyundaiShe was suppose to buy you shorty TYCO with your moneyShe went to the doctor got lypo with your moneyShe walking around looking like Michael with your moneyShould of got that insured got GEICO for your moneyIf you ant no punk holla we want prenupWE WANT PRENUP! YeahIt's something that you need to have'Cause when she leave yo ass she gone leave with half18 years, 18 yearsAnd on her 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his[Chorus][Verse 3:]Now I ain't saying you're a gold digger you got needsYou don't want your dude to smoke but he can't buy weedYou got out to eat and he cant pay you all can't leaveThere's dishes in the back, he gotta roll up his sleevesBut why you all washing watch himHe gone make it into a Benz out of that DatsonHe got that ambition baby look in his eyesThis week he mopping floors next week it's the friesSo, stick by his sideI know his dude's balling but yeah that's niceAnd they gone keep calling and tryingBut you stay right girlBut when you get on he leave your ass for a white girlGet down girl go head get downGet down girl go head get downGet down girl go head get downget down girl go head(lemme hear that back)
Why try to date a lawyer? Social status as one of the learned professions, likely a decent income, and possibly (ok, not that likely) a huge income. I know lawyers in NV and AZ making millions, and one who routinely went well into eight figures. And that sort of money off the coasts can give you an extremely nice lifestyle.Why not date a lawyer? They are weird, almost as weird as doctors. They don't think like other people. You want a commitment for something? They are trained not to commit, by seeing all the ramifications. Being professionally paranoid is not always useful in relationships. Anal compulsive? Goes with the job. That means that sometimes that lawyer needlessly delves into the smallest details. Perfectionists? Many lawyers have to have everything just right. And you have no idea what it means to be literal, until you deal with lawyers on a personal basis. Justice Holmes talked about three generations of imbeciles being enough (when discussing sterilization of the fourth generation). In my family, apparently two generations of lawyers is enough. The next generation, who is, at present eschewing the family profession, pulls out her hair when said person calls its lawyer parent, asking him where he is. He responds "In the car". Where is the car? "On the road". Which road? "C-470". Where on C-470? Between mile marker xx and yy. How long until you pull onto 285? "Don't know", etc. All to find out when the kid is to be picked up from school. Or, in the alternative, when asked whether the attorney parent will be there in time to pick the kid up from something, the answer is invariably, "hopefully" or "theoretically". No wonder that kid wants to go into some other field.
I forgot to add that many attorneys take their work home with them, at least intellectually. And on vacation. It mostly isn't a job where you can just leave it when you go home at night.
Why do people specifically want to date lawyers? If it's about money, there are plenty of professions and careers that offer income equal to or more than law. If it's not about money, what is it about? The long hours? Keep the other person out of the house?This is how I feel about people who want to date doctors.
If you date a lawyer just be very careful that you don't accidentally step on them.They are really hard to get off of your shoe.
Inwood, I thought I'd keep it brief and quote only one line. Perhaps that wasn't lawyerly, either that or I just don't have as much energy as Catullus had for amor.
"wow...that's kind of an eerie follow up post."Especially since I didn't see yours before I started writing mine. Crazy!wv: "flactor" -- a gassy, ruptured anal sphincter.
And don't they care what kind of lawyer. Seems like that would make a big difference.
Failed(May I call you by your first name or must I use your middle & last name always?)You say""Poor From Inwood.All he knows he learned from "teh googel."Hey, if I could decipher the meaning of what fls writes about when he thinks what he's pontificating about "The Law", I suspect that I wouldn't learn any thing further.TY & Bruce HaydenHey, if you don't like lawyers, & you have a legal problem, you can try failed law student here. Or any number of would-be lawyers or any "I'm as smart as any lawyer regarding the law" guys pontificating on legal maters on blogs.
Hey, if you don't like lawyers, & you have a legal problem, you can try failed law student here. Or any number of would-be lawyers or any "I'm as smart as any lawyer regarding the law" guys pontificating on legal maters on blogs.I like lawyers just fine. I'd better. It's the next generation that has problems with lawyers because they have spent too much of their lives around such.
Hey, if you don't like lawyers, & you have a legal problem, you can try failed law student here.It's not a matter of not liking them. Sometimes they are necessary like funeral directors or leeches. They just creep you out.
Actually, the list of tips isn't that bad, except for the one about speaking Latin. Are lawyers argumentative? Of course. Do they nit pick? Go on power trips? Cross examine family members? Yes to all of the above.
I wonder if Henry Beard knew many lawyers.
@holdfast-I'ma let you finish, but "Gold Digger" is by Kanye West, and not Jamie Foxx (who probably did play an attorney in a sketch back in the "In Living Color" days, but I don't remember him having done so).
Hey From Inwood, I did a new poll just for you!
Bruce HPerhaps, Like Kathleen Kennedy Townsend, in her failed campaign for MD Gov in 2002, you could learn to "speak Hispanish" because "Hispanic is an important language to learn." She now writes under the nom de bloge "failed governator candidate".And you say:Are lawyers argumentative? Of course. Do they nit pick? Go on power trips? Cross examine family members? Yes to all of the above.Gee, I'll have to be honest & change my nom de bloge to "failed family cross examiner" Don't get no respect!And look, if you call The Anointed Ώne a “lawyer” will it be a racist comment since you & others have such disdain for lawyers?TYYou know as much about lawyers as you do about cheesecake, which you probably think is a photo pose by nubile women for her Facebook.TriangleBooks like the one you cite are supposedly translations of modern English phrases into real Latin equivalents. I understand this has been a problem with RC monks for centuries. How does one say “I’ll e-mail you” or “Flickr” or work on an IPod in a dead language? One improvises & there’s no William Safire (he’s dead) or some curmudgeon to correct you since they have enough trouble establishing Pecksniffian rules for English. Law Latin or Dog Latin, as I explained above, is used, in place of plain English for both effect & affect above. Does it work? Not on Bruce H or TY, by golly!Next lesson: Law French.
Doctors throw Latin around as much as lawyers. There are a couple of reasons why throwing Latin at attorneys doesn't work. First, most attorneys don't know all that much Latin, just some phrases they learned in LS, or at attorneys. Yes, there are a lot of Latin terms, but most are very obscure. Actually trying to say something interesting in Latin is likely to be totally counter-productive.Secondly, you had better get it right. Lawyers deal every day with laity who try to act intelligent in the law by quoting legal stuff. And mostly it is just a turn off. They have to go and reeducate the clients, which is often harder than educating them in the first place. Misusing legal Latin phrases is indicia that the person spouting them is undereducated - not something that you want to portray if you are trying to catch a lawyer.I find it interesting how attorneys shift their speech when among their peers. Monday I was sitting next to a cute lawyerette on the plane. I asked her what she did, she told me she was a lawyer in X industry. I asked her again what she did. What? She just answered that question. No she didn't. It turned out she was in a firm that was going to Carson City to lobby. She did mostly government relations, etc. Litigation? Rarely. Within a couple of minutes I had her practice down, including how big her firm was. We then went on to law school (very good state school). The point there is that attorneys (and paralegals, etc.) can detect very quickly whether the person they are talking to is on the same wave length as they are, or not. Whether they are a wannabe, or not.And, I have seen the same thing go down with doctors. Two people meet, and within a minute or two they both know that they are both doctors, almost without either stating it, and their conversation has shifted from external to collegial. Interestingly there, I know one guy who has on occasion pretended somewhat to be a doctor. He dresses as they do in coat and tie (usually very different than lawyers), and just asks the right types of questions. It works with staff, but not with real doctors.
Yes Inwood but who did you vote for?They are all so sleazy that John Edwards didn't even make the cut!
Where to meet a lawyer? At a blogger convention, of course.
Hey, TY a poll for moi! Do I deserve such an honor?Most polls find lawyers below pedophiles & just above ax murders in approval rating.But any "who's-the-sleaziest-of-'em-all" poll which doesn't have John Edwards in it is cheating.Anyway, these polls are worth about as much as the opinions of the average WFAN listener. "Hey, now that dem Mets lowered da CF Fence in Citi Field, David Wright's gonna hit, like, 74 HRs this season." Funny, but the same people who say that they hate lawyers say that Erin Brockovich is a combination of Mother Theresa & Florence Nightingale. (The ones who know the difference between her & former Gov. Blagojevich, that is.)And look at how versatile lawyers are. They can do anything. Take Peter G. Angelos who runs the Baltimore Orioles or rather has run them into the ground.And who did I vote for? Good grief, do you think I voted for The Anointed Ώne? Only a law professor could argue that she was kinda, sorta a Conservative centrists (or was it vice versa? doesn't matter) & yet voted for him. Hey, in Election 2008, Ralphie was the lawyer candidate. Gore was a failed law student though. Hey, how about a poll on the approval rating of failed law students? OK, make it “former” if you think my wording too loaded for a poll. And, even tho I'm a lawyer & respect Prof A. (suck up; let's make that I respect her, up to a point), I agree with Sarah Palin that we need a Commander in Chief rather than a law professor.Now c'mon tell us your horrible experience with a lawyer that makes you so mad at lawyers in general.
Dude I wasn't talking about the election. Follow the so I can draw you over to the dark side!That's what Crack taught me about being a link whore.
Ah Inwood, you open fond memories(of ditties my father used to sing): A WWI song:Around the cornerAnd under the treeThe sergeant majorMade love to me.He kissed me once,He kissed me twice.It wasn't quite the thing to do,But, oh, it was so nice!AnotherOh, madamoiselle from Armentiers,Parlez vous?Oh, madamoiselle from Armentiers,Parlez vous?Oh, madamoiselle from Armenteirs,She ain't been kissed in forty years,Hinkey-dinkey, parlez vous.(Sorry for any misspelling of the French)
"Now c'mon tell us your horrible experience with a lawyer that makes you so mad at lawyers in general."I quite like people who are lawyers, at least in a social sense. On the other hand, I believe that lawyers have become the primary vehicle for the redistribution of wealth. This subset of lawyers would argue that they are only doing their job, and that we are all entitled to our defense, or our legal advocate under the laws of the land. And they would be right about that.The problem gets heftier, however, as lawyers tend to predominate our political realm. They are also our lawmakers, and therein lay the rub. There is ever increasing motivation to pass legislation, to make more laws. It is almost Darwinian. None of us are likely to act in ways that do not ensure the likelihood of our personal preservation.Add into this messy mix, all those public sector employees out there who vote in their own best interests, and it is no wonder we have a Government that grows like a cancerous, metastasizing tumor.
Please indulge me; it's nostalgia night (along with a generous serving of zinfandel).The link to the lyrics for Mademoiselle from Armentiereshttp://www.firstworldwar.com/audio/mademoisellefromarmentieres.htm
Bruce Haden@4:39 PMRe Law Latin, you say "you had better get it right”.The same with Law French. Again, MLU, to which I referred above @12:21 PM, describes Law French as "something very like a Sid Caesar version of a foreign language" (crediting the original source for this mot).Terms like voire diere where the sleaze ball tort lawyers pick zee dopes who will fall for zee tort lawyers' sleaze & award beaucoup francs to some wretch, leading the defendants crying victimology & blaming zee lawyers & leaving the public to hate lawyers & love Erin Brockovich. BTW "tort" is Law French.And I'm sure that our revered President has trouble with Law French viz.(to use some Law Latin), zee trouble he has in following the "speak-as-you-spell” movement as applied to "corpsman".And snopes says it’s just an Urban legend that he said that his wife "Mitchel" served "horses douvers" before dinner. (OK, old Inwood joke.)
Dude Your sample, ever so droll,alas fails Stats 101: Inadequate SamplingWhere's,e.g. (Latin!):Bella AbzugF Lee BaileyMelvin BelliW. J. BryanRamsey ClarkBill ClintonHillary ClintonJonnie CochranSam ErvinTeddy KennedyRalph NaderArlen Specter (OK, a Scottish Lawyer)Joseph WelchAnd that, now dead, guy in cowboy boots (don't make me Google him)And the famous NYC guy from The Roaring Twenties: Bill Fallon, "The Great Mouthpiece"I could go on.
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