December 3, 2009

"One night after a long day of campaigning, when the haters had made my spirits reach a nadir, I looked into Todd's eyes..."

"... which were as blue as the stripes on Old Glory, and too representing truth and loyalty, and he looked back at me with a twinkle of determination which I hadn't seen since I told him my goal of having another baby in my fifties and naming it Tron, then did I know for sure that I could carry on, like he, and we, have done together all of these years on this long, Iron Dog race of a marriage that is at once grueling and celestial, onerous and majestic."

73 comments:

Balfegor said...

No marriage tag?

Dave said...

Tron?

John Lynch said...

Ha. Well, it's a lot more fun than that 8000 word piece you assigned earlier. Palin is clearly a lot happier with her choices.

PJ said...

So she calls that Israeli flag in her office Old Glory?

Pastafarian said...

They would hold a "write like Obama" contest, but Bill Ayers would be a shoe-in.

mariner said...

I like her, but not for that writing.

chuck b. said...

Tron made me laugh out loud. Because I was taken in until then. It's rare for one word to turn it all around.




"jingesse"-- jingo-lite.

bagoh20 said...

Did the flag have 57 stars?

Don't people proof read stuff anymore?

Pastafarian said...

That's an odd attempt to skewer Palin; is she given to run-on sentences in her writing? I actually thought that this criticism applied more to President Obama.

It seems more like this person is competing in a "Write like Palin speaks" contest.

There's something really nasty and childish about this attempt; it wreaks of smug self-satisfaction. I can picture this person sitting back and admiring her handiwork over a $12 venti mochaccino with a big shit-eating grin on her face.

I wonder how high unemployment has to get for people to stop making jokes about how Palin is "teh stooopid". 15%? 20%?

Seneca the Younger said...

I'm pretty sure that one's not Obama.

red stone dancer said...

Bush couldn't speak, Palin can't write.

Obama can't lead. Well.

G Joubert said...

That's an odd attempt to skewer Palin

Yeah, but in the scheme of things it's got to be one of the most benign too.

traditionalguy said...

I suspect that Sarah and Todd suffered no fear of intimacy possibly causing a dangerous loss of control to the other one. They had already gotten over that fear by marrying another Christian believer that valued the life and love living inside of them. As for the writing style, I liked the plain and open communication style of it. That builds my trust in her. But we have no quotes from her shrink to give her importance. Nothing but a real point guard's assessment of the real floor of life's challenges that she is facing, and being thankful for her loyal Power Forward she can always count on.

traditionalguy said...

Oh never mind, It's a hoax probably written in East Anglia.I am cooking dinner and the stove and oven are harsh taskmasters.

Chip Ahoy said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Oh no.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Blue as the stripes

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

like he, and we, have done

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Skeptical said...

Has Cornel West been ghost writing for Sarah Palin again?

Pastafarian said...

I disagree, Joubert. I think this marginalization is malignant as all hell, and it will keep her from winning the presidency in 2012.

There are different types of intelligences. I've known brilliant men who could diagnose and repair enormously complex machines, who couldn't write a complete sentence to save their lives. I'm pretty fucking sick of these college-educated idiots who couldn't change a tire acting as though the relatively useless skills acquired in a liberal arts education are the only skills to be valued.

These are people who would sneer at geniuses as mere mechanics or grease monkeys, but who have no idea just how much more these men know about physics and chemistry and tribology and...shit, whole fields of study that these educated idiots don't even know exist, than these fools will ever know.

At what point did we decide that the ability to conjugate a verb is somehow related to the skillset required to be President?

At what point did the ability to run a business, or a state government, become less important than the ability to get into Harvard at age 18?

I'm sick to death of this shit.

David said...

Well, Obama couldn't get into Harvard at 18. He went to Occidental. Had he stayed there we could call him "The Occidental President."

Jason (the commenter) said...

Pastafaria: I wonder how high unemployment has to get for people to stop making jokes about how Palin is "teh stooopid". 15%? 20%?

I see nothing wrong with holding politicians in contempt. It's only when people get all googly-eyed about them that I worry.

David said...

This actually makes Palin look pretty good, I think.

Note that the parody incorporates all of her virtues, almost as if they were now beyond dispute, though not beyond parody.

It made me chuckle.

victoria said...

Making me throw up a little in my mouth. Awful

Vicki from Pasadena

victoria said...

Hey, nothing wrong with Occidental. Among the most selective colleges in the country. Right next door in Eagle Rock. You should be so lucky as to attend that college. I went to USC and they are ranked higher than my alma mater.

Vicki from Pasadena

chuck b. said...

I didn't even notice that the stripes were blue. (loser)

PJ said...

Tron made me laugh out loud. Because I was taken in until then.

Even "Tron" didn't awaken me. Embarrassing!

t-man said...

Oh Vicky,

Just rinse with some Scope and read the link. You fool.

Synova said...

It wasn't "writing like Sarah Palin" but I still think this bit by Stacy McCain is the best.

From Hot Air last August...

A response to "sources" that claimed the Palins were on the outs.

Lem said...

I like her, but not for that writing.

If they showed me video of Palin raping a moose.. I would still like her.

Matt said...

There's something really nasty and childish about this attempt; it wreaks of smug self-satisfaction. I can picture this person sitting back and admiring her handiwork over a $12 venti mochaccino with a big shit-eating grin on her face.

Well, here she is:
http://www.timetowriteitdown.com/abouttheowner
(Yes, I know that is the right person with that name and not another person with the same name.)

And not surprisingly, she lives in the same town as Althouse. Hmm...

Michael Hasenstab said...

Baby at 50? Sounds like she's in touch with her raisin.

Rich B said...

If it makes the liberals feel superior and happy, what's the harm in it?

I guess it's Scotch and the Bob Dylan Christmas in the Heart that's making me feel magnanimous.

Alex said...

Pasta - you doeth protest too much.

Eric said...

Wow. What a very small person.

madawaskan said...

Ironic-

there was an article about this -Ann Sensenbrenner from Madison in some girlie magazine I was reading lately..

Elle?

Rene said...

I have always wondered how a left wing which suffers the presence of Maxine Waters in Congress can see fit to castigate a right-wing female politician for stupidity.

Reminds me of a joke from 2008:

What's the difference between Barack Obama and Sarah Palin?

One is a pretty, well-turned, piece of eye candy and the other can field dress a moose.

Penny said...

"Well, Obama couldn't get into Harvard at 18. He went to Occidental. Had he stayed there we could call him "The Occidental President.""

Instead he has called himself the occidental President.

Close enough, David?

Pastafarian said...

Alex -- I doth, doth I?

Here's my entrance into the "Write Like Palin" contest:

***************

How can we ensure that those who need medical care receive it while also reducing health-care costs? The answers offered by Democrats in Washington all rest on one principle: that increased government involvement can solve the problem. I fundamentally disagree...

Let's talk about specifics. In his Times op-ed, the president argues that the Democrats' proposals "will finally bring skyrocketing health-care costs under control" by "cutting . . . waste and inefficiency in federal health programs like Medicare and Medicaid and in unwarranted subsidies to insurance companies . . . ."

First, ask yourself whether the government that brought us such "waste and inefficiency" and "unwarranted subsidies" in the first place can be believed when it says that this time it will get things right. The nonpartistan Congressional Budget Office (CBO) doesn't think so: Its director, Douglas Elmendorf, told the Senate Budget Committee in July that "in the legislation that has been reported we do not see the sort of fundamental changes that would be necessary to reduce the trajectory of federal health spending by a significant amount."

Now look at one way Mr. Obama wants to eliminate inefficiency and waste: He's asked Congress to create an Independent Medicare Advisory Council—an unelected, largely unaccountable group of experts charged with containing Medicare costs. In an interview with the New York Times in April, the president suggested that such a group, working outside of "normal political channels," should guide decisions regarding that "huge driver of cost . . . the chronically ill and those toward the end of their lives . . . ."

******************

Ha Ha Ha!!!

Get it? It's funny, because only an uneducated inbred rednick hick like Palin could fail to understand how President Obama will reign in health care costs by covering an additional 30 million people.

What a maroon.

Scott said...

Sarah needs some raisins.

lyssalovelyredhead said...

I don't actually know Sarah Palin, but the Sarah Palin in my head would, with an air of complete seriousness, state that she planned to have a baby in her 50s and name it Tron.

And then she and Todd would laugh like crazy, because they possess that rare ability to laugh at themselves, and love it.

Penny said...

"Just rinse with some Scope and read the link. You fool."

A little tough on Pasadena Vicki, t-man? She wasn't the only one here who skipped the link for the comments.

Face it, we're all guilty of that sometimes

Kendall Abra said...

This passage could be an *improvement* upon Palin's writing, for all i care.

We've fetishized image and style of communication to our detriment, forgetting the visceral. I can love Hitch and Wilde and not vote for them...

Churchill wouldn't have been sufficiently telegenic

chuck said...

Even "Tron" didn't awaken me. Embarrassing!

You mean "slate" in the link didn't set off alarms? Not to mention the first sentence? Sarah doesn't use "haters", haters use "haters". Srly, did anyone here take this srly?

I fear for my country.

Ron said...

Whew! This whole Meade/Althouse thing is giving me an attack of the vapors...

kynefski said...

I'm kind of disappointed that there isn't more criticism of the entries in this thread.

It seems to me that the judges were improperly partial to longer entries. In my reading, Kaylyn Munro (runner-up 9) was the clear winner. That and in honor of the troops, also captures Palinesque oratory better than anything else in the collection.

madawaskan said...

Na it wasn't her in the magazine-geez does everyone in Madison look alike?

Fred4Pres said...

I thought that was Andrew Sullivan writing about his own marriage, except he decided to adopt a new beagle.

David said...

victoria said...
"Hey, nothing wrong with Occidental."

A fine school. A selective school for pretty, witty and often wealthy people. Lovely campus. But definitely not Harvard.

Remember, O transferred to Colombia after a year. (He was at Columbia, wasn't he?) Always moving up the food chain.

Kendall Abra said...

Nadir's an awfully smart word for a woman, i mean a Republican.

Fred4Pres said...

Andrew Sullivan gets raisins when he makes fun of Sarah Palin.

PJ said...

I fear for my country.

You have excellent reasons to fear for your country, chuck, but I don't see why my little gaffe should rank among them. Of course, I didn't notice that the link went to Slate; that might have induced even dull-witted me to click before typing. And I confess I wasn't aware that 'Cuda never says "haters," but now that I know I still think I overlooked better clues than that one. Shame on me for missing the parody (and failing to check the linked item), and I did find the sentence funny. But don't think any of that reflects a lack of due admiration for the woman who moves the national debate from her facebook page.

paul a'barge said...

Ann Sensenbrenner sucks.

hdhouse said...

oh brother. spare us.

Bissage said...

DUCT TAPE!!1!!!!1!!!!!

Jake said...

I laughed, but spent more time ogling the picture. She is quite the specimen of female pulchritude.

Fred4Pres said...

Things are now completely out of control.

Ice cream, raisins, Palin.

John said...

This from the same magazine that employs both Hanna Rosin and Dalhia Lithwick. I really think Slate is run by some mad conservative as a sock puppet designed to make liberals look like as big of smug, thoughtless assholes as possible. He or she has been wildly successful.

Beta Conservative said...

She rose organically through the ranks from PTA all the way to Governor.

She cherishes life, and imperfect life even more.

She wasn't even presented to the inside machine of big city politics by former terrorists.

It is only proper that the left make fun of her at every opportunity and worship at the Hollow Altar of the Empty Suit.

RLB_IV said...

If the Palin tome is as bad as some say then I must purchase a copy for my immediate pleasure. I love books and movies that are so bad that they are good. I love this line "blue as the stripes on old glory". Ha, this is secret code between them, don't ya know.

I love it, a huge best seller and she's talking secretly to her man about how he makes her want him.
Apparently she has no need to read books or articles about communing with raisins to get off.

Good for them. This post just sold a book.

John said...

Of course none of the entrants or judges in the "write like Palin" contest have ever actually read the book.

vbspurs said...

THAT IS HILARIOUS! I won a "Write like your favourite writer" contest in high school (choosing Thomas Mann), so I totally dig this contest on how to write like Palin.

Cheers,
Victoria

vbspurs said...

Of course none of the entrants or judges in the "write like Palin" contest have ever actually read the book.

Oh, I wouldn't be too sure, John. I think the writer who was quoted in Ann's blogpost surely has read the book, because Palin repeatedly mentioned Todd's "ice blue eyes" in her book. It's an insider reference to parody it, which I recognise.

vbspurs said...

Good for them. This post just sold a book.

Nice! You will like the book. It actually has genuine LOL moments due to her sense of humour, which I didn't expect (including all those Lou Holtz quotes).

Methadras said...

The Tron thing was funny. I laughed.

AJ Lynch said...

Victoria wrote:

"I went to USC and they are ranked higher than my alma mater."

I am guessing you were not an English major. Cheerleader perhaps? At USC, that gets you a lifetime pass for anything.

Ralph L said...

Is she a relative of the Republican congressman of that name?

careen said...

Hah.

This is a spoof, right? (Yes, I see it is.) Nice job, though. Just the idea of haters making one's spirits reach a nadir is wonderful, but then the Old Glory, the Tron.

LonewackoDotCom said...

The HuffPost and HotAir are now calling Sarah Palin a "Birther" based on comments she made earlier today.

What her supporters must do is described at the link.

Kensington said...

She's irrelevant. Don't forget that.

kentuckyliz said...

Iron Dog

I think she meant Iditarod

tom faranda said...

I'm actually reading "Going Rogue" and you can laugh all you want.... but it's pretty good.

Christopher said...

Oh, please. As blue as the STRIPES on Old Glory? Frankly, if that didn't set off your bullshit meter from the start, you're hopeless.

Ralph L said...

Iditarod is a dog sled race. Iron Dog is a snow machine race. Watch out for Alaskans. They'll distract you and steal your ham sammich.

pinkmonkeybird said...

Erm...I see. Somebody has created a "Write like Sarah Palin" website. I think I sense a bit of jealousy over Tina Fey's success. Impersonating Sarah Palin and putting words into her mouth is so very convenient because Sarah Palin won't oblige her enemies by saying all the stupid things they want her to say.
Well then, this should be like shooting fish in a barrel then. Since Palin won't say "I can see Russia from my house", we'll just trot Tina out there and it'll be as good as if Dan Rather invented it, only this time, we'll get away with it.
It's all unverified, but true.

Althouse.
Why are you proliferating lies? Oh, that's right, you voted for Obama.

Aaron said...

Yeah, big f--- up on the stripes thing, but let's point out something... its not just her error. its also that of her editors, and i suppose the ghost writer she allegedly has. But of course to her critics, there is only one moron.

Sort of like to them there was only one person unqualified to be president in 08.