November 5, 2009

Is it conical bra time again?

"Throughout the last century, the trend for feminine pointy-shaped bras experienced a renaissance following times of a toughened economy, marking a return of unabashed femininity as women seek to have more fun with fashion as a form of escapism."

Is that the kind of fun we want these days? Do you — if you are a woman — want to strap yourself into one of these architectural marvels? If so, you will inspire not just passion, but joking. From the first link:
'Wow, your boobs walked into the room before you did,' gasps the photographer.
I pop outside to grab a sandwich for lunch and the man serving me seems to have problems focusing on my face, and on my way back to the office a passing builder shouts after me: 'You'll have someone's eye out with them!'
I think you have to have the right sense of humor — that is, a sense of humor about your own breasts — to wear an old-school conical bra. That doesn't mean your sense of humor can't include bitchily blaming people for noticing, of course. The key, it would seem, is that you are having fun. It's escapism, remember. Escapism via rocket.

30 comments:

Michael Hasenstab said...

Count me as being pro-cones. I like the Pointer Sisters.

Synova said...

Not sexy, but an "aggressive" look.

If we're going to go retro how about pigeon chested or corsets?

(The "cone" look is one reason why I scoff at the notion that old movies were so much less racy than current ones. It doesn't matter so much that the star actress was buttoned up to her neck when her sweater or blouse was perfectly fitted over those two extremely protruding pointed *things*.)

Bissage said...

There is more than one kind of uncanny valley.

Florida said...

Madonna's tassles are spinning in their grave.

I like posts like this.

Keep the boobies comin' and pageviews follow.

Joan said...

I loved this comment on the first article: Oh dear its going to be most embarrassing on the busses again.

I imagine this poor chap had some unfortunate run-ins in previous decades.

I associate this look with vintage science fiction television and movies. Looks damned uncomfortable to me.

Richard Dolan said...

It reminds me of caricatures of Die Walkure (there have been a few commercials in recent years that use such operatic send-ups to pretty good effect). When people want to make fun of Wagner (and that happens often), Brunnhilde and her sisters are usually depicted wearing horned helmets and chest armor with pointy, conically shaped protection for the breasts that look like these.

So how many women wanted to be seen as Brunnhilde wannabes these days? Has she become a proto-feminist?

traditionalguy said...

Advertising the product increases the sales. The UN guys in piece keeping, I mean peace keeping, assignments approve of this fashion trend for the serfs of today's economic freeze that has thrownwomen and their male support systems into survival mode.Sure is Fun, though.

Chase said...

I am fortunate to be married to a very buxom yet thin woman who, frankly, can wear anything and make it look good. Sweaters are my favorite on her - she can draw a crowd of both men and women just trying on sweaters in a boutique or department store. Yes, I am blessed.

The guys talking to her chest thing always bothered her until - and she does this in business relationships as well as social - lowering herself down so that her eyes are where the eyes of the guys were. Doesn't take too many times to give the message, especially in a business introduction.

John said...

What straight man doesn't love torpedo tits? Ask any straight guy and they will tell you women were better looking in the 50s and early 60s than they are now. Let's have fewer earthy crunchy hippie chicks and fewer anorexic model types and more real women. It takes all kinds, but more women with curves who dressed up once in a while would be a great improvement.

Tibore said...

Respectfully, I gotta disagree with John and others. I'm quite fond of the soft roundness of the contemporary looks, not the "ICBMs Ready For Launch" look of the distant past.

If what's inside really looked like what those bras indicated, topless women on the beach would look like the Egyptian Plains of Giza.

bagoh20 said...

Time for the return of the cockplate

cockplate

John said...

"Respectfully, I gotta disagree with John and others. I'm quite fond of the soft roundness of the contemporary looks,"

That only works well if the woman has perfect or near perfect breasts. But most women don't have that. Most women look better with more and more feminizing clothes. Women looked better in the 50s not because women have changed, but because they dressed in ways that enhanced their feminity.

traditionalguy said...

The Mickey Mouse Club was actually the Annette Funnicello show for the teenage boys in the late 1950s. Where have all the natural girls gone? Annette, Farrah, Ann, oops I mean Ann Margaret?

former law student said...

"Is it conical bra time again?"

I don’t care who you are; if you have a D behind your chest measurement and this bra has not been worn, you are in tremendous peril next year.”

m00se said...

Well, all I can say is any woman wearing this (or a tight anything for that matter) shouldnt be giving men dirty looks for staring.

edutcher said...

Not according to Nouriel Roubini.

As to the more important question, my wife is a DDD to F, depending on the season. On her any bra cup is always round.

Synova said...

Not sexy, but an "aggressive" look.

If we're going to go retro how about pigeon chested or corsets?


Depends on the corset. If we're talking the old-fashioned kind that mashed everything flat, no thanks. If we're talking the ones that support a big-breasted woman's bust from below, rather than straps that dig into her shoulders (I've gone bra shopping for my wife), they can be very aesthetically, as well as functionally pleasing.

John said...

What straight man doesn't love torpedo tits? Ask any straight guy and they will tell you women were better looking in the 50s and early 60s than they are now. Let's have fewer earthy crunchy hippie chicks and fewer anorexic model types and more real women. It takes all kinds, but more women with curves who dressed up once in a while would be a great improvement.

Disagree on the torpedoes. I like earthy if we are talking buxom (fleshy and curvy) as opposed to fat, but what is crunchy?

Otherwise, right on. An hourglass or pear with a couple of nice oranges or even grapefruit always pleases the eye.

Blogger Tibore said...

Respectfully, I gotta disagree with John and others. I'm quite fond of the soft roundness of the contemporary looks, not the "ICBMs Ready For Launch" look of the distant past.

If what's inside really looked like what those bras indicated, topless women on the beach would look like the Egyptian Plains of Giza.


There are a few young, well-endowed women who do look like that, but I am in full agreement with your first point (don't hit me).

Blogger bagoh20 said...

Time for the return of the cockplate

That's codpiece.

WV "ovewe" What many Obama voters are - as in "I'm so ovewe"

traditionalguy said...

I am told in history that Henry VIII did not like a German bride whose breasts were large and floppy. It seems that he preferred the English women who were small breasted. IMO they both have their good points

Synova said...

"That only works well if the woman has perfect or near perfect breasts. But most women don't have that. Most women look better with more and more feminizing clothes. Women looked better in the 50s not because women have changed, but because they dressed in ways that enhanced their feminity."

See now, I don't think that one leads to the other. Unless we're talking about going braless, I can't see how the smooth roundness, padded and push-up-ness, of current bras require perfect breasts to look good.

Nor do I see how that rounded look equates to not dressing in a feminine manner. Fashions might not emphasize curves so much, but that's the fashions, not the under garments. Also, being female myself and rather enjoying comfort I have to say that "feminine" is generally uncomfortable and inconvenient and amounts to voluntarily handicapping yourself with shoes you can't walk in and clothes you can't move in... that itch.

Some male fashions seem uncomfortable as well, dress shoes and ties, but I still don't think they quite compare to high heels and the arms of blouses cut so you can't reach for anything above your head.

Which essentially means mincing about with your elbows at your sides and asking a man to get things for you.

bagoh20 said...

edutcher said: "That's codpiece"

Thanks. The label on the inside is so worn I can't read it anymore.

It comes in a package, yet it packages your package. Very odd.

DADvocate said...

I think you have to have the right sense of humor — that is, a sense of humor about your own breasts — to wear an old-school conical bra.

Maybe that should be "comical" bra.

Ann Althouse said...

Synova: "Nor do I see how that rounded look equates to not dressing in a feminine manner."

I agree. Round IS feminine. Points are masculine. Pointy breasts are aggressive. Not that there's anything wrong with aggressive women -- up to a "point" anyway -- but it's not very feminine.

"Which essentially means mincing about with your elbows at your sides and asking a man to get things for you."

I like my arms free ... to embrace my man... who gets things for me.

ricpic said...

I like the Pointer Sisters.

The Pointer Sisters are all right but it's been all downhill in the sex appeal department since Freda Payne hung up her bra.

lucid said...

I bet it has much less to do with indulging in inexpensive fantasy with clothing that it does with enhancing one's value in trade on the social/mating/responses-of-men marketplace. that is, less money means you have to promote your other a$$ets (pun intended) more. Watch for more stockings, shorter skirts, higher heels, more neckline, tighter pants and jeans, etc.


Just about makes (pun warning) hard times worthwhile.

blake said...

[best Crocodile Dundee]

Those aren't pointy breasts.

These are pointy breasts.

wv: pusher

(Of pointy breasts? 'oo me?)

Photog714 said...

It's called a Sheep Dog Bra: "Rounds 'em up and points 'em in the right direction."

I like the pointy look.

Deb said...

It's called a Sheep Dog Bra: "Rounds 'em up and points 'em in the right direction."

Or, the Rawhide bra: head 'em up and move 'em out.

wv: ockin. I think a letter is missing.

knox said...

What straight man doesn't love torpedo tits?

I"m not a guy, so, admittedly, some of these things are a mystery to me.

But I've never got the pointy boobs thing. I mean, aren't guys supposedly imagining attractive women that they see *without clothes on* ?

What would those breasts point breasts look like naked?? Surely not attractive... there must be some other factor at work here.

William said...

I have spent a good deal of my adult life pondering this important subject. It seems to me that the conical bra tries to shape and imitate that brief moment in a woman's life when her breasts mock gravity and press against the restraining garment towards heaven. My strong support of this garment may also be rooted in the fact that when I first began my study of breasts this was the favored look. In the way that we enjoy working out to the music of our youth so also do we prefer the pointy bras of our puberty.....They're bringing out an Obama bra to uplift the masses, and a Fannie Mae model to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Lynne said...

You know, I saw this coming a few years ago when new bras started hiking the bustline back up towards the chin. All that was left was to re-establish the "pointy" look.
On a side note- my sweetheart the other nite asked about Christina Hendricks' (sp) cup size, and I said: Let me put it this way- if I put on her bra and did an underarm fart, there would be a *serious* echo!

You have to wonder how much Mad Men has to do with this.

(Old joke from high school: Is that your bra, or are you expecting an assassination attempt?)

traditionalguy said...

Knox...This is a secret so don't tell anyone, but the pointed bra look makes a woman into a sports car model with an ostentatious hood ornament that resembles a hard Tit. That awakens the three teenage male needs: 1)for a trophy girl friend, 2)for a sports car and 3) for a sexually excited lady all rolled into one special demure female look. We call that package Farrah.