October 29, 2009

Orange you glad...

DSC04903

... I've put up an open thread?

85 comments:

David said...

What are you doing out there?

You cantaloupe again, you know.

former law student said...

Was spending the money Avaya sent Armatys theft (to which he plead guilty), or embezzlement?

New hire never showed, yet got $471G
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
STAR-LEDGER STAFF

When Anthony Armatys was hired for a six-figure job with Avaya in 2002, he filled out all the necessary paperwork with the company's human resources and payroll departments.

[He changed his mind and never took the job, but Payroll was never notified]

So Armatys started getting paid as though he was an employee. Part of his salary went into a retirement account and the rest was direct-deposited.

[He never alerted the company to the error.]

Officials caught up with Armatys when he tried to make an early withdrawal from his retirement account. Penalty fees aside, the withdrawal sparked an investigation that led to criminal charges. [By that time Armatys had collected and spent almost half a million dollars.]

The 35-year-old Armatys, ... pleaded guilty to second-degree theft. Under a deal... Armatys will face six years in prison when he is sentenced on Jan. 8. He also must repay the company the $470,995.53 he received in salary and retirement savings.

http://www.nj.com/news/ledger/jersey/index.ssf?/base/news-15/125660551283630.xml&coll=1

Candle said...

I only eat fruit which falls naturally from trees. Otherwise, it causes harm... If I can, I try to catch them before they land, lest they land on some unsuspecting cricket or caterpillar (and yes, of course I watch my step wherever I walk - I'm not a hypocrite). once again, I'm not against oranges.

chuck b. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
David said...

"He also must repay the company the $470,995.53 he received in salary and retirement savings."

Fat chance.

chuck b. said...

If 30 is the new 20, then we should make 27 the new voting age, 31.5 the new drinking age and 97.5 the new retirement age.

knox said...

Open threads are always juicy.

UW Law Babe said...

I am in Ann's Religion and the Con class. Someone created an e-mail with links of the Isthmus forum, her attack on a fellow blogger for deleting posts and her then deleting posts that made fun of her. It quickly went viral through out law school.

Does anyone know if Ann is British? Or does she just fall back on a British accent as an affectation? Some of my study mates are curious.

traditionalguy said...

I think its time to squeeze juice or put the fruit away. No dithering allowed. Fresh OJ and champaign takes all the stress away.

chuck b. said...

Does anyone care *at all* about the law school students? I mean, seriously.

Bissage said...

Banana you glad I didn't say orange?

No, wait . . .

[scratches li'l puddin' head-bone]

Freeman Hunt said...

OMFG ya'll, this is so funny! We like made this email about our teacher, and we totally sent it around! It like so makes fun of her! OMG! LOLZ, ya'll, LOLZ!

Maybe you should crack a book, you silly child.

blake said...

If you want to make an omelette, you have to break a few...oranges?

Triangle Man said...

Does anyone know if Ann is British? Or does she just fall back on a British accent as an affectation?

Althouse's accent has been established as being Midland in a prior thread. Perhaps she sounds British to you when compared to the Upper-Midwest and Great Lakes twangs that pervade Madison.

chickenlittle said...

It quickly went viral through out law school.

You all should get vaccinated back there, ya hear?

And Californy is the place you oughta be...
hills, that is, swimmin' pools, movie stars...

traditionalguy said...

UW Law Babe...We have always suspected that Professor Althouse is descended from Elizabeth I of England. She has married a former commoner/commenter and has now raised him to the Duke of Mead. But always remember that she is a most beloved Queen in Althousia.

kentuckyliz said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
kentuckyliz said...

BtW the pic of the oranges just makes the scurvy run away fast as lightning.

kentuckyliz said...

I'm trashing my insult of Law Babe. It's true but mean. I am not that mean.

Candle said...

UW Lawbabe has expressed a belief in everything on my blog.

Candle said...

Like Kentucky, I too am ashamed of what I just said...

chickenlittle said...

@Triangle Man:

Interesting thread link for historical purposes:

1) Notice that both Maxine and "Chet" posted there. Remember the night that Chet outted him/herself as Maxine? Link (and see Palladian's comment later on in that thread.

2) Lots of Victoria (vbspurs) back then-we still miss you wherever you are! (and Palladian too).

3) What's up with both Ruth Anne and Trooper York systematically deleting their historical records ala Sippican Cottage? I suppose that one day, Althouse comments will be nothing but "comment deleted by the author."

:(

Fred4Pres said...

Ann, this should be an Althouse Thread.

I mean Larry David peeing on a picture of Jesus?

I hope it jinxes the Yankees and they go down tonight.

Penny said...

I followed up on that article you posted about the new hire who never worked yet got $471,000, fls. Primarily because it came from a NJ newspaper, and I live in Jersey. Here was the interesting piece for me:

The company turned it over to authorities, and the prosecutor's Special Investigations Unit, along with town detectives and Avaya security who were investigating this for a YEAR! A friggin' YEAR!

Now that might be funny in a Keystone Cop kind of way, unless you live in this corrupt state. I no longer wonder why so few politicians ever get arrested. The prosecutor's office is busy looking into a payroll error!

Florida said...

Gore Vidal calls 13-year-old rape victim a "hooker."

http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200910u/gore-vidal#at

The Atlantic thus labels Vidal an irreverent, sharp provocateur.

Vidal then admits he was also into the rape scene back then.

"I was in the middle of all that. Back then, we all were. Everybody knew everybody else. There was a totally different story at the time that doesn’t resemble anything that we’re now being told."

Penny said...

As for Ann's accent, no clue. Personally I find her to have a particularly lovely and very engaging voice. It's one of the reasons I think she is so good on Bloggingheads. Another reason is that she's smart. She's even smart enough to not totally overpower, thereby shutting down her opposition. Instead she throws out ... just ... enough ... rope.

That's food for thought, UW Law Babe. I'd hate for you to become chum.

Kirby Olson said...

Wal-Mart is selling coffins. But you can't send them back. The customer is always right, unless he's dead.

Tyrone Slothrop said...

bright smell forty thuds
oranges landing on the
clean cool countertop

Penny said...

"Wal-Mart is selling coffins."

It's their Halloween "special", Kirby. Some get MIGHTY serious about Halloween.

Pogo said...

I'll never delete all my comments, even though ain't none worth savin', because I'm too damn lazy.

Tyrone Slothrop said...


You cantaloupe again, you know


Oh brother. I just got that.

By the way, where is Cedarford to complain about the juice?

Chip Ahoy said...

I buleeve this here pikshur uv orangez wuz took wif a wide-angle lenz, cuz if ya straiten it out it don't straiten proper. That's mah konklujun.

Now.

This here's sum vittles whuped up from butternut squash 'n musterd geenz. 'N them pikshurs wuz took wif a normul lenz 'n they'z lined up proper. That is awl.

MadisonMan said...

Door Hinge.

There must be an easy way to delete all your comments at once. Maybe if you leave blogspot.

edutcher said...

UW Law Babe said...

Does anyone know if Ann is British? Or does she just fall back on a British accent as an affectation? Some of my study mates are curious

Ann hails from the Diamond State. A great many people from that area (SE PA, etc.) are ascribed as having a British accent by people from the South or Midwest.

My mother, when speaking to clients from Georgia and Alabama, was always told how they loved hearing her English accent - born, raised, and lived her whole life in Bryn Mawr PA.

JAL said...

Chip -- Next time I come to Denver, can we have lunch or dinner?

At your place?

(And no, I'm not hitting on Chip. I could be his mother. At the least.)

(Don't worry, I don't get to denver but once every 10 years or so. ;-) )

Titus said...

Good evening fellow republicans.

How is everyone's lovinkindness going?

JAL said...

UW Law Babe --

You should know that on this blog, even though some of us are the Professor's betters (or some think they are) she is (fondly by some, probably very fondly by one) referred to as "Althouse" or the "Professor."

You're her student?

wv godsmo
mysterious

JAL said...

Fred4 -- doncha remember the previous rule?

But yeah ;)

Titus said...

I hate to pry but does Meadey Pooh work?

I tend to favor traditional roles in the marriage and my concern is that you are being supported financially in the way that fits your lifestyle and that of the traditional wife.

I know call me old fashioned.

rhhardin said...

Zeitgeist at Kroger.

David said...

Tyrone Slothrop said...

"You cantaloupe again, you know

Oh brother. I just got that."

Thanks, Tyrone. Glad someone did. I thought it was one of my best ever, and not even a giggle from anyone but you O wonderful Tyrone.

Darcy said...

Good point. We should record our *giggles*. :)

Chip Ahoy said...

Yes, JAL, of course. Come, dear traveler, fellow gastronome, traveler of the well-traveled roads, I-70, 470, 25, highway 76, and the like. Ride the beautiful roads of the west (or perhaps fly over them). But know the places to pull over! Chief among them, my place. <--- stolen from Maurice Edmund Sailland (Curnonsky). I hope he doesn't mind.

Yes, David, I did get that. Apologies for not responding, I've been trained to roll my eyes and smile knowingly but never to moan at puns.

Penny said...

"Orange you glad I put up this open thread?"

I YAM! But please don't make me call you my little huckleberry. Then both of us would have to blush.

EDH said...

Speaking of fruit, a lesson for all the ladies out there, via Instapundit:

Female short-nosed fruit bats have been observed performing fellatio on their partners during copulation. Mating pairs spent more time copulating if the female did so...

The bats copulate dorso-ventrally, with the male mounting the female from behind. During mating, the females reached over to lick the base of the male's penis in 14 of the 20 pairs that copulated.

The tip of the penis had already penetrated the female's vagina, and the males did not withdraw when the female licked the base of the penis.

Both the duration of an individual copulation, and the overall time a mating pair spent copulating, were increased if the female performed fellatio.


Those female fruit bats!

Guys, it's like they've been readin' our mail!

Freeman Hunt said...

I'm guessing Law Babe isn't a student but is some random troll trying to think of a way to undermine Althouse's confidence in real life.

Lame attempt.

Penny said...

Upon being interviewed about her unique talent, one female short-nosed fruit bat, who preferred to remain nameless, succinctly stated, "I do it, because I can."

Irene said...

Man Bat!

Soloman said...

Chris Christie just might be a big fat winner on Tuesday if enough New Jersey voters see this clip.

We must take our country back!

knox said...

Freeman, that was my thought.

former law student said...

I thought it was one of my best ever,

Unfortunately I had already read a "cantaloupe" joke back in fourth grade, in The Arrow Joke Book

Remember the various Scholastic book clubs, that sold paperbacks at a substantial discount?

They still exist apparently, and recently had a joke contest, winners to receive an expense-paid trip to the Jay Leno show.

Compare to the cantaloupe joke:

“Why was the broom late for work? It over swept!”
(Kelly Sandoval, Age 7, Santa Fe, NM)

“Why won’t people let elephants in(to) the pool? Why? Because they won’t keep their trunks up.”
(Travis Temple, Age, 12, Indianapolis, IN)

William said...

What's purple and weighs a ton and lives in the ocean? Moby Grape.....This is the only bad joke that inspired the name for a rock group as opposed to all the rock groups that inspired bad jokes.

reader_iam said...

I have no idea whether that interview with Imus will, or could, change the tide, as Cavuto says. (I'm not sure it even should, per se.)

But I can tell you it made me laugh a lot, and smile even more, due to nostalgia. It reminded me a lot of the Chris Christie I knew back in the day at the University of Delaware, when he ended being my single favorite person to argue with, sometimes in rather barbed fashion, in student government, in which meetings we might sometimes clash, but were able to laugh about afterward.

(And yes, it was clear he'd tend to the jowly later in life, even then. But who cares?)

former law student said...

This just in: another thing every woman should have:

http://www.chicagotribune.com/features/chi-talk-bra-maskoct29,0,4631334.story

To you, that cute pink bra with black lace trim might conjure up thoughts of sexy lingerie. To Chicagoan Dr. Elena Bodnar, director of the Trauma Risk Management Institute, it represents a possible lifesaver.

Behold the bra-mask -- a brassiere that in an emergency can be turned into a pair of protective face masks.

Bodnar's invention won the Ig Nobel Prize. ...

To use the bra-mask, the wearer unsnaps the brassiere from under her shirt, which breaks it in two. Because each cup has hooks on its side, the strap is wrapped around the head and hooked to the cup, which goes over the mouth. Bodnar said an experienced user can don the mask in mere seconds. It allows one to breathe safely in case of fire, dust storms, or even the nuclear fallout of a Chernobyl disaster.
...
But what about the men?

As Bodnar noted in her Oct.1 acceptance speech at Harvard University, "Isn't it wonderful that women have two breasts, not just one? We can save not only our own lives, but also a man of our choice next to us."

David said...

former law student said...
"I thought it was one of my best ever,

Unfortunately I had already read a "cantaloupe" joke back in fourth grade, in The Arrow Joke Book"

Someone beet me to it.

Lem said...

I ran into ABC news man Bob Woodruff in the subway.

nobody else had recognized him when I stepped closer and asked aren't you with ABC News?

He smiled politely and said.. "yes I am, what are you listening to? I tried not to stare at the scars too much.

Told me he had been back to Iraq. We didn't speak much but I'm glad we did.

wv - aquui - Althouse is where is at.

XWL said...

Oranges Poranges

(damn, 70s kid TV, was everyone on acid?)

blake said...

Yes, XWL.

Yes, they were.

Slow Joe said...

"UW Law Babe said...

I am in Ann's Religion and the Con class. Someone created an e-mail with links of the Isthmus forum, her attack on a fellow blogger for deleting posts and her then deleting posts that made fun of her. It quickly went viral through out law school.

Does anyone know if Ann is British? Or does she just fall back on a British accent as an affectation? Some of my study mates are curious."

I am sure you're just some nut troll, but it's pretty well known (and true) that Althouse does not delete comments for insulting her... even if they are pretty damn vicious.

Also, a lot of liberals consider her to be an apostate, and are much more vicious towards her than they are towards people who are consistently opposed to their ideals. It's amazing how angry and pathetic the trolls can be sometimes. I didn't consider her accent to be British... you'd have to be quite insular to not know that Americans have a lot of different accents. She's a gadfly that got under your skin? Good for her.

reader_iam said...

I am in Ann's Religion and the Con class. ...

Implication: "And I'm here to speak truth to power, baby, by sharing this viral information."


I have to assume that this works for you, a law student.

reader_iam said...

Here's the discordant note--to my ear--in the tune you sang earlier:

Your comment is still here, and it was rather more malevolent, far more pointed, and expressly intended to be precisely and specifically more personal than most even w/r/t Althouse.

***

To repeat: Your comment is still here.

Slow Joe said...

I bet the religion class could be interesting, but ____ and the Law classes never struck me as worth the price.

All my seminars were a load of readings and a long paper, with a few PC laden discussions and presentations. I guess it's important for lawyers to know how to write a journal submission... at least it's important to the school, I am sure.

But law students: don't take these classes! Take real law classes like FIT or Bankruptcy or Corporations! Take Admiralty and Con Law of Political Campaigns!

Take your lumps on the transcript and learn something. No one reads your stupid transcript in a few years anyway.

Can our student tell us what went on in the latest of Ann's religion class? Where the readings pretty good?

LoafingOaf said...

I am sure you're just some nut troll, but it's pretty well known (and true) that Althouse does not delete comments for insulting her... even if they are pretty damn vicious.

That's true. I know I've said some bad things at her and she's never deleted them. She's pretty cool about free speech in her comments. Sometimes, though, she makes me feel dumb by front-paging things I posted that I might not have liked front-paged.... :)

Michael Hasenstab said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Largo said...

Why will you never have to go hungry on a beach? Because of all the sandwiches there!

[ok, it has to be a sandy beach].

Largo said...

If you are on a boat with a pack of smokes and no matches, what do you do? You throw one of the smokes board so the boat will become a cigarette lighter!

(thank you, thank you, you're too kind).

Michael Hasenstab said...

I took down a very witty, well-crafted dissection of Law School Babe and her childish comment about Althouse.

I took it down because, law student or not, she's still a child, and needs room to grow up without the real world mocking her.

That will happen when she seeks employment and learns that, nice tits and all, life sucks for those who are in the bottom 90% of their graduating class.

And she is the bottom 90%. Anyone in the top 10% would have been smart enough not to fuck around on a professor's blog. Especially if one calls oneself "Law School Babe", you know....in Law School. Duh.

Largo said...

Oh, this one's from my old high school biology teacher.

A guy in heaven goes to visit his old friend Stan, (sirname Fran) who operates a discotheque in hell. Upon returning to heaven, he tells Peter that he has to go back. He left his harp in stan fran's disco.

[the longer you can tease the story out, the better the groan :-p ]

Fred4Pres said...

Irene: Do bats have more fun?

AllenS said...

Meade, wake the Althouse woman up and tell her to post some new stuff.

Old RPM Daddy said...

Heard on the radio on the way home last night:

How do you keep the Washington Redskins out of your yard?

Install goalposts.

Sorry. WV = dengest. It was the dengest thing! The Redskins just scored!

Bissage said...

Orange --> Juice --> Day --> Sunshine --> Without --> Civility.

kentuckyliz said...

Agree with Freeman and Michael. I deleted my superlative insults because I thought no law student would be that stupid, so it must be a troll. If it isn't, this person is too stupid to do very well in life, and probably went to law school because s/he couldn't get a real job, and is taking such useful things as religion classes. Not knowing much about the world, insults own professor. So, troll or extremely stupid person, undeserving of the nasty comments I wrote, because the post speaks for itself. The proper response is pity.

UW Law Babe said...

Hi just checking back.

I am from the east coast. I do not recognize the accent. Maybe it is a Jersey thing.

Obviously, I am positive Ann cannot definitively pick me out in her class.

I am near the top in my class grade wise. (And looks wise. LOL!)

Finally, I am too tall to be a troll. LOL! Though, Ann could ask me a question about her class that only a student this term could answer.

blake said...

If you're not a troll, provide your name.

UW Law Babe said...

My name is...

HEY! You are trying to trick me! LOL!

I might be a blonde (not a dye job either!) but I am not stupid! LOL!

Michael Hasenstab said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Michael Hasenstab said...

I might be a blonde (not a dye job either!) but I am not stupid! LOL

Well so far, we (and be we I mean Althouse, should she be at all interested) know that you are in the Religion and Con Law class, tall, blond, female, from the east coast and perhaps attractive.

Narrows it down quite a bit, no?

blake said...

Well, yeah, it does narrow it down to, most likely some short, fat ugly dude who didn't graduate junior high.

Ann Althouse said...

"Slow Joe said... I bet the religion class could be interesting, but ____ and the Law classes never struck me as worth the price."

The class is Religion and the Constitution, and it is simply a conlaw class that is entirely focused on the religion clauses. It's not a seminar. It's traditional Socratic with a blind-graded exam just like your most hardcore trad law school course.

But I know what you mean about "Law and..." classes.
Bu

"Take real law classes like FIT or Bankruptcy or Corporations! Take Admiralty and Con Law of Political Campaigns!"

So if the class were called "Corporations and the Law" it would become bad?

"Can our student tell us what went on in the latest of Ann's religion class? Where the readings pretty good?"

My Religion and the Constitution class is so small, that no one would say she was in it AND specify the sex. It narrows the category down to so few individuals that it is simply not a way of keeping your identity private. On that point alone, I am virtually certain it isn't one of my students.

Ann Althouse said...

"I am sure you're just some nut troll, but it's pretty well known (and true) that Althouse does not delete comments for insulting her... even if they are pretty damn vicious."

I did delete the first 2 comments on this post because they were such a bad start to an open thread. They had no significant content, but were on the level of a flat "You're ugly." I didn't like the attempt to sink the whole thread.

Ann Althouse said...

"I am near the top in my class grade wise. (And looks wise. LOL!) Finally, I am too tall to be a troll. LOL! Though, Ann could ask me a question about her class that only a student this term could answer."

Well, since there are only about 5 female students in the class you say you are in, why would you add more info to identify yourself. That would be stupid, yet you say you are "near the top" of your class "grade wise," which implies you are not stupid. Ergo, you are not in the class.

Ann Althouse said...

"Well, yeah, it does narrow it down to, most likely some short, fat ugly dude who didn't graduate junior high."

LOL. Exactly. That exudes.

Ann Althouse said...

"Obviously, I am positive Ann cannot definitively pick me out in her class."

Put that on a list of things Althouse has zero interest in doing.

Ann Althouse said...

Michael Hasenstab said..."I took down a very witty, well-crafted dissection of Law School Babe and her childish comment about Althouse. I took it down because, law student or not, she's still a child, and needs room to grow up without the real world mocking her."

Law students are adults.

And the ones I know are very hardworking and serious -- especially in this extremely difficult job market.

I agree with your observation that they are very unlikely to be screwing around acting like assholes in the comments to a law professor's blog.